Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Captain Hammer was preening in front of the mirror. He gave a wink at the handsomest guy on the block and grinned as his reflection winked back. God, he was attractive. And manly, to boot! He flexed his muscles, admiring their bulkiness. "God, I'm attractive," he mused aloud.
"Think an awful lotta yourself, huh?" asked Jayne, shaking himself and flushing the urinal. He looked over the man, squinting at him. "Y'know, can't help but notice you look a whole lot like my cap'n."
"I am a captain," Captain Hammer said, looking down at Jayne, checking out the goods. It wasn't as impressive as what he saw in the mirror, but it certainly wasn't anything to scoff at. "I can be your captain." He gave Jayne one of his trademark grin-wink combos.
Jayne looked over, impressed. If he were the type to buy into that psycho-mumbo-jumbo, he might start wondering if he had an unconscious desire for his captain that was manifesting in this stranger where it could be expressed without worrying about the chain of command or long-lasting repercussions. Instead he just reached down to stroke his gun, Vera, in his holster. "'At a hammer in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Jayne asked.
"Yes," replied Captain Hammer, unzipping his pants. "And you can touch this."
"Aye, aye, Cap'n." Jayne followed Captain Hammer into one of the stalls and they had sweet, sweet Hammer Time.