3/22/12

Dear Isaac,

I can't even send this to you, but I might as well write to you. I can't make be happy without you. Isaac, I love you. Why did I have to send that text? Mow you won't talk to me. Why? I really am sorry. Please talk to me, I want to fix this. I regret breaking up with you. I want to be with you or do you not trust me anymore? Please Isaac, every time I think of you my heart used to skip beats, but now it skips broken beats. Why did I do that? I should have trusted, no just tex- called you. I'm the stupid fool. You'll probably never talk to me again. I need help. I really do. I screw everything up. I'm the reason my relationships aren't great. I'm pathetic. You're better than me.

You deserve happiness. I will never find anyone like you again. I really won't. I need you. You hold my heart and what you do with it is up to you. If you want to give it back then go ahead. You wa- don't want anything to do with me? Then I'll disappear and leave you alone. You don't need me anymore. Shit my hand is shaking and I'm crying again… the guilt is eating me alive. I want to be with you. My mood swings are unpredictable. I don't know how long I can last. I feel like every time I eat or be happy it's forced.

You unlocked the real me without I turn into someone, I, myself hate. I figured out you probably want nothing to do with me now and I understand. You wouldn't text or call me back. Why? Or do you not need me? Were you busy or just ignoring me? You said you didn't want a day without me. Was that a lie? Real couples are willing. They are willing to talk things out. I'm willing, but what about you? I want to be yours forever. I love you. John isn't in the picture.

You make me happy. You and I want to go to college together. I want to marry you. To me you are my true love. If you want to stay friends then okay. I accept that. I've been having dreams of me chasing after you screaming "I'm sorry" and you kept running away from me saying "Stay away from me." In a relationship, I think there need to be honesty, friendship, communication, trust and forgiveness.

Look I'm sorry. Just please talk to me. Let's talk this over. I should just text this to you. Then you could read it. I didn't know what I had until I lost everything. I won't, I can't love anyone else like I love you. So please let's give this another try. I know I lied to you. I didn't mean it. I really didn't. So please talk to me.

Sincerely yours,

Ariel

P.S. I don't think I can live much longer. I need you in my life. Please, Isaac talk to me. I don't want to force you, but it's the truth.