Copyrights and Disclaimer: I merely own the way the story is put together. All characters and plots belong to their creator, not me. Not intended to make money, blah, blah, blah
Music: Adam's Song by (I think) Blink 182 would go really well with this ;)
Summary: Janis Ian can't stand being shunned by all her peers and is broken down in a few short weeks. The cause of the breakdown? Regina George. (This is actually just the end of those weeks and right before she met Damian.)
Breakdown
Don't look at anyone…If you don't look, it won't feel like they're looking at you…No one is looking at you…You're just another face in the hall…No need to feel different…You're not different…I'm not different
Even though I think all those things, I still hear everyone whisper as I walk to my class.
"Oh my gosh, it's her."
"Why does she even bother?"
"So weird."
"So ugly."
"What a lesbian."
I'm not a lesbian, that's just what everyone says, but I'm not. I like boys. I think about boys like everyone else. I just…
I keep my head down, avoiding the unwelcome and hostile stares that had followed me around for the past few weeks. I ignore everyone's gasp as I walk past them. What's the big deal? I'm just on my way to class. Everyone goes to class. Nothing weird or lesbian about that
"Yo, Janis!"
I turn. The first time in weeks someone calls me by my name and not "freak" "weirdo" "lesbian" "dyke."
It was Katie who called me. Part of a popular clique. I have no clue why she called me. I'm just so desperate to be like everyone else and someone calling me my name meant that the teasing and the insults must be coming to an end. At least I thought so.
"So, is it true that naked girls turn you on?"
Of course, why else would she call me? Only to tease me again.
"No, it is not," I say, "That is just a rumor." I figure if I handle this maturely, like my mother said, then everyone would leave me alone.
"Oh really," jeers Katie, "Not what I heard."
"You heard wrong," I simply say.
She glares at me, then smirks. "Oh come on," she says, making another jab at me, "Secret's out, lesbian."
"There is no secret," I say, angrier this time. "It's just a stupid rumor that Regina George" (I almost vomit in my mouth at that name) "made up to make herself feel better. And you're no better for believing it."
Katie thrusts out her rather large chest and moves it in an awkward seductive way. I wanted to hit something. I need to hit something. She opens her mouth and says, "Screw you dyke." I almost hit her. Instead I just turn and walk away. I hear their laughing voices. The voices ring my ears, clearing telling me that this is it. Social Outcast. No, too specific. Outcast. Unaccepted. Alienated. Now, come on. This is just a phase that Regina started. All phases die out, including this one. Soon someone else will be Regina's next victim.
I want to listen to that voice in my head. I want to so badly. What's wrong with thinking good of yourself?
My eyes are moist. The floor becomes blurry. Their laughter is clear. Just go to class, don't think, don't think about it. It's becoming harder to walk down these bitter, cold halls.
"Well, well, well." That voice. "Look at the little lesbian."
Regina George.
I blink back the tears. I pretend that dust got in my eye, so I wipe my tears away. Looking up, I see that Regina is with her new boyfriend, whatshisname. What is his name?
"Excuse me," I say. I'm in no mood for confrontation. Not today.
"Aw, how cute, the lesbian's using manners."
Shut up!
"Let me through." More forceful.
She laughs. The cause of my misery just laughs. Then she says, "Alright, alright. But I'm going out with my boyfriend tomorrow, so don't call me and ask what I'm doing."
How dare she! Like I want to hang out with her! After everything! I hate her!
"Who wants to hang out with you?" I say, clenching my fists.
"Um, don't get jealous," she says in an awkward fake voice.
"I don't. You're horrible."
At that I feel every eye on us, even though I wasn't speaking too loud. Lots of people gasp.
"Excuse me?" Good, she's shocked, appalled.
"You're a bitch," I retort.
That did it. Her boyfriend steps forward and suddenly I'm acutely aware of how much bigger he is than me.
"You little dyke," he snarls and he pushes me to the ground. Hard enough that I feel the air whoosh from my lungs and for the first time I felt the wind knocked out of me. Whatshisname just stands there smiling. I hear the guys all gasp. We may be bad kids, but it's still somewhat wrong to hit a girl. Suddenly, the realization hit me and my stomach drops like lead. I'm not a girl, at least in his, no her eyes. I'm a freak. A horrible worthless…No, I'm not! Why did she do this? Why? Why? Why?
I get up. Glaring at her with absolute disgust and loathing, I hiss the words to her. It turns into a shout. "That's right, Regina George. That's all you are! A bitch! A filthy manipulative backstabber! You don't know the meaning of friendship! You're not a friend; you will never have any true friends. I hate you, you whore! I hate you!"
I take deep breaths, steadying myself. It almost feels good to let it out…until Regina smiles.
"Are you quite done? Because some of us would like to get on with their lives without a whiney little lesbian ruining it for them."
"You…There's no word to describe what you are. You're a bitch. A cold-hearted, ugly, bitch. And newsflash! No one likes you! Everyone hates you! They hate you! I hate you! You ruined my life! You ruined it! That's why no one likes you; you just ruin people's lives! What's with that? You get a kick out of seeing me trying to get people to talk to me! For what, a lie? You get a kick out of seeing others in pain, you sadistic bitch! You're a mean girl! You're plastic! Nice to look at, but you're nothing but cold and hard! Why? Oh why, please tell me, so I can warn the next victim…You sick, slimy whore. You ruined me! You destroyed me! Happy?"
"Just shut up," says Regina, nose high in the sky.
"No, I won't."
"SHUT UP!" Whoops, don't want to get whatshisname mad.
"Are you happy, Regina George, that you destroyed me? That you ruined my life?"
Regina just smiles and says, "What a cute little lesbian."
I couldn't breathe. Tears start collecting in my eyes. She can't just blow me off like that, like I'm nothing. She can't, she won't.
"I HATE YOU!" I scream at her. I run toward her, but I feel a great big pair of arms wrap around me, preventing me from the beating the hell out of her. The tears start flowing. I scream anyway. "I HATE YOU! JUST DIE! I HATE YOU!" Suddenly my feet leave the ground and the person holding me starts to walk away. "LET ME GO! I HATE HER! SHE RUINED MY LIFE!" The person just walks quicker and the last thing I see is Regina's back before a door closes in front of me and I realize we're in another room.
With a start, I realize that I'm in the girls' bathroom and the person who brought me was a guy. I look at him and barely recognize him. We must have different classes. From the yearbook, I think his name is Damian. Some girls walk in the bathroom.
"I think the point of a girls' bathroom is to only have girls in it."
I snap. "SHUT UP!" I scream. "SHUT UP!" Then Damian walks toward the girls waving his arms and shouting something like "Kooties!" The girls squeak and run out the bathroom. At first I was confused why, but then I realize how big Damian is, bigger than whatshisname. Big enough to carry me here.
He looks at me and walks toward me, very gently. "Are you alright?" he asks, already knowing the answer.
I shake my head, feeling the strain and the isolation course in my veins. I draw in one shaky breath. Then another. Then another, but this time, my cheeks are wet. "No."
"Come here," he says, opening his arms. I hesitate, but he invites me with a kind nod, I move toward him and allow him to embrace me.
I cried.
I embrace him back, hanging on as tight as I can. "It's alright. It'll be alright."
I just continue sobbing, staining his shirt with my tears. "Stop it," I sob, "It hurts…it hurts!"
"I know," he says comfortingly, "But everything will be alright, you'll see."
I sob harder, I can't stop.
"I'm not a lesbian…"
"I know."
"You believe me?"
"I would want you to believe me…Just so you know, I didn't sign that petition. I'm not exactly straight and I know I wouldn't want it being publicized like how Regina did it."
I don't know what to say to that. I just cry into his chest, desperately hoping that Damian won't leave me.
Author's comments: Well, I'm not new to FanFiction, but I am new to Mean Girls. I usually do Twilight and Stand by Me and I did Sweeney Todd a bit, too, but ANYWAY...I know some things are awkward and slightly OOC, but the characters are 13, not 16 & 17. This also provided a chance for me to try out a new style, (it's based off of Ordinary People) And I'm pleased of how this came out.
I feel so bad for Janis in this, but I think something like this could have very well happened. Um, I had some other things I wanted to say, which I won't remember untill I post this, so...yeah...
Review! Tell me your favorite part, least favorite, and any criticism (I prefer criticism about style) is welcome! Hope you enjoyed.