I couldn't resist. I'm too excited about Thirteen and Doctor/River is too dear to me. I had to give it one go.
River Song loves the nights on Darillium. The only sound in the air is the faint song of the Towers, and it envelops her in an embrace that she never wants to leave.
She sits out in the garden - her garden, their garden - and enjoys the music, staring up at the now familiar stars and breathing in the smell of home.
Home. She likes that. She's never had a proper home before now. Ten years in and it's still taking a lot of getting used to. The Doctor is currently down at the night market, affording River a chance at some quiet. He's more capable of it these days, to the point of impressing her a fair bit, but he still gets restless, and she's always been someone who needs time to herself.
Of course, as is the story of her entire life, the moment she is truly alone and settled, an unmistakable wheezing sound interrupts the serenity of it all.
River narrows her eyes in the direction of the materialising blue box. Whatever version of her husband is inside, he definitely shouldn't be here. Naughty. She's torn between being annoyed and excited, and waits to see which version it is and what he does, before she makes up her mind.
But no one emerges.
"Doctor?" She calls.
No answer.
Intrigued, and ever so slightly worried, River gets up from her chair and makes her way over to the TARDIS doors. They swing open at her touch, making her smile faintly, and she steps inside.
"Doctor?"
A face pops out from behind the time rotor. "Um. Yes. Hello."
The face is unfamiliar, female, and adorable, framed by short blonde hair. But those eyes - River would know those eyes anywhere, which is why she is stuck staring. She knows she shouldn't be surprised, when this was always so possible, and yet she is, just a little, just for this moment.
Before she can speak, the other woman - the Doctor, her Doctor, her wife - frowns deeply, and lets out a little groan, hands sliding over her mouth.
"No, no, that isn't right, I'm missing something," the Doctor says, with dismay. But then she focuses on River again, and her whole face lights up, and she bounds over to River, beaming. "River! River Song, wonderful, beautiful, River Song."
River's face is already in her hands, and she's kissing her with the eagerness of a puppy before River can so much as react. River, not one to complain when receiving affection from her rather temperamental spouse, kisses her back happily for several moments.
"Now," River laughs, somewhat breathlessly, "that's a greeting a girl could get used to."
The Doctor ducks her head, blushing a little, a pleased smile on her face. Her hands grab River's and bring them to her face, planting them on her new, soft cheeks.
"I'm a woman!" She says, with a giddy laugh. "River, I'm a woman!" She makes a face. "Well, you know, as much as I was ever a man, anyway, which isn't really that much at all, and it's not just the body, because that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it, but you know what I mean-"
"Rambling, darling," River says gently. Her thumb brushes her cheek.
"But it's all so different, River-"
River laughs a little. "I imagine it is."
"That's why I'm here, that's why-" She trails off, her hands moving to cup her breasts, a look of intrigue on her face that makes River wish she had a camera. A little grin blooms on the Doctor's face. "Interesting," she says. "Soft. New. Interesting. I really should have tried this centuries ago."
River chuckles. "It suits you."
The Doctor smiles, in a way that makes River think of ridiculous, nonsensical cliches about sunshine that she would never voice aloud. "Does it?"
River tilts her head. "Well, I'm possibly a little biased. But as lovely as it is to see you, dear, to what do I owe this little visit? I was under the impression we weren't meant to be seeing each other after our extended domestic period."
"Oh," the Doctor says, blinking at her, eyes wide, and then sad, and then bashful. "Yes, that… that was supposed to be it, wasn't it?" She rubs her temples. "My head, it's still a bit murky, there's so many details I can't quite-"
She stops, fixes River with those clear green eyes in a way that sets River's hearts racing and very nearly takes her breath away for good measure.
"I want you," she says, making River's hearts skip a beat. "This is new, and strangely wonderful, and maybe a little bit scary, and all I could think was that I wanted you. I wanted my wife to be the one that taught me about how to be a woman."
River stares at her for a moment, overwhelmed, before she's seizing the Doctor's face in her hands and kissing her, hard, eliciting a surprised little 'oh!'.
It takes her longer than it should - only a few seconds, but still - to realise why it feels so different, and not just because of the softer lips.
"You're shorter than me now," River says, pulling away abruptly, and blinking at her. "That's never happened. Well, Seven, maybe, but that version of you couldn't have been less interested in kissing me, so-"
She is silenced by the Doctor's lips, which are eagerly covering her mouth again.
"That's alright, I'll make up for it," the Doctor murmurs.
River laughs. "You'd better."
"I knew something was different," the Doctor continues, in between kisses, "but I couldn't pinpoint it, what with everything else going on. The height was the least of my worries. I've been short before, I don't mind it."
"How long has it been? Since the regeneration?"
"Oh. I don't know. Twenty minutes? Ten? Even my time sense is off a bit, at the moment."
That would explain the strange, delicious taste of artron energy on River's tongue, practically seeping from the Doctor's skin.
"Hmm, no wonder you taste like time itself, then, if it's so recent," River says, licking her lips as she leans back. "Now. As much as I'd love to get completely carried away with you, right here, there is the small matter of the other you. The husband. If you're going to steal me away, you'd better do it before he gets back from the market."
The Doctor's lips twitch, and her eyes are overbright. "River Song, are you running away with me?"
"One week," River says, firmly "One week, then back to Darillium. I'm trying to be all responsible now, remember?"
The Doctor's laugh is soft as she brushes a curl from River's face. "Vaguely. But I'm sure I can try and fix that."
River laughs, reminded of her young Doctor in the bowtie in a way that aches as much as it warms her, and she kisses her new Doctor again. "Well, sweetie, do your worst. But first… your crash course on femininity."
The Doctor stares at her, eyes wide with some kind of revelation. "That's it!"
"What's it?"
"I knew I was missing something, something obvious when I said hello, but I couldn't remember until now-" She kisses River excitedly, and is beaming when she pulls away, rearranging some of River's curls around her face with newly delicate fingers, while her shining eyes never leave River's for a moment. "Hello sweetie."
River's hearts melt a little, and she covers it with a laugh. "You, Doctor, have turned into a sentimental old sap."
"Don't be ridiculous," the Doctor says, looking offended, "I've always been a sentimental old sap. I'm just usually better at hiding it."
After taking the TARDIS out into space so that they can return River to Darillium for a few minutes after she's left, they head to the wardrobe. The Doctor has the TARDIS play some music, going between Mamma Mia and Walking On Sunshine on repeat. She's also trying to dance a little as she moves between the various closets and drawers and boxes, and River is delighted to see that her wife is just as awkward and uncoordinated as ever.
There are clothes everywhere. River wants to ensure that the Doctor still gets free reign, so she reclines on the couch with a very large cocktail and watches as the Doctor pulls out everything from Victorian gowns to leather catsuits to a three piece tuxedo, and no shortage of in between.
"There's a disturbing trend, here," the Doctor says after a while, quietly, and more to herself than anything else.
"What's that, sweetie?"
The Doctor is only half listening to her. "Is there a particular reason that almost none of these clothes have pockets of any usable size, or has the regeneration severely altered my spatial perception? I mean, I know humans have hilariously small pockets as it is, being the same size on the inside and all that, but this is truly ridiculous, this must be some kind of mistake."
"No, you've simply stumbled upon an unfortunate fact of the universe - people will never make feminine clothes with proper pockets when they know they could sell you a handbag instead."
"A handbag?!" the Doctor cries, turning around to stare at her. "A handbag?!" She's so appalled that River can't help but laugh. "I'm - I'm the Oncoming Storm, I don't want a handbag!"
"Don't you tend to make all of your pockets dimensionally transcendental anyway?" River asks, tilting her head.
"Well, yes," the Doctor admits. "But this is going to be… more work. And I'm just - have the majority of my companions been living with this with absurdity this entire time?!"
"Most likely."
"And I had no idea," she whispers, so adorably horrified that River finds herself with absurd little backflips in her stomach. It's like she's seventy again, and it's embarrassing and she's relieved the Doctor is too concerned with clothes to notice.
She's back to focusing on the clothes now, and the mess she's made of the floor. As she surveys the various options, she drops the dark jacket that has been hanging loosely on her now too-small frame, and River finds herself paying a bit more attention than before as the Doctor starts unbuckling her trousers too.
"Do you need any help, sweetie?" River asks conversationally, like her throat hasn't gone dry as the trousers drop to the floor. The sight of her wife in the too-large boxers shouldn't do it for her, and yet, it really does.
River hastily gulps down more of her cocktail, and debates on whether leaving to get a refill, even though the drink is far from empty, would be a prudent way of keeping her hands off her preoccupied wife.
Of course, when given the choice between perversion and, well, anything else, River is always going to choose perversion. So she sits back and watches as the Doctor finds a nice pair of boyshorts and drops the boxers to make a swap, revealing a truly beautiful arse that has River choking on her drink.
The Doctor glances over her shoulder. "Are you alright, dear?"
River narrows her eyes, trying to work out if she's as innocent as she sounds. But then the Doctor smiles, a glint in her eye, and god, she hates her so much.
"No, you don't," the Doctor says, laughing and making River realise she'd said the last part aloud. Probably.
The Doctor is undoing her shirt buttons now, and River watches as the shirt falls away to reveal the Doctor's naked torso. God, her wife is beautiful. And understandably fascinated by her own breasts. River has to laugh at how she keeps touching them, cupping and fondling with a completely innocent curiosity.
It is, however, very distracting for River, whose thoughts are considerably less innocent, for the most part.
"Bra, darling," River prompts, if only for her own damn sanity.
"What?" The Doctor blinks. "Oh. Yes. Right. Those. Those… things."
River sighs, gets up, and searches until she finds a tape measure. "Alright, arms up." The Doctor obeys, and River does a quick taking of her measurements before enlisting the TARDIS' help in finding some bras of an appropriate size.
With a selection of five different styles, she returns to the Doctor's side.
"Pick one."
The Doctor looks rather nervous, and wrings her hands together. "Er. Alright." She touches the lacy one, before shaking her head and moving on. She selects a plain black one and holds it up. "I suppose this one looks simple enough? Is it practical? I need something practical."
"It'll be just fine, sweetie." River sets the others aside. "Now, can you put it on?"
The Doctor looks offended. "Can I put it on? Can I - River, I'm over 2000 years old, I can put on a bra."
"Alright then," River says diplomatically, lifting her hands and stepping back. "Go ahead."
She's not quite sure how it happens. All she knows is that she turns away for about two seconds to locate her cocktail, and then the Doctor makes a strange noise of evident distress.
"River, help, I'm stuck."
River whirls around, only to find herself torn between laughter and sheer amazement. Both win out. "How in the world did you manage to do that?"
"I don't know!" The Doctor says hotly, while River laughs. "I - River, please, stop laughing at me and help."
River does, eventually, and after a brief lesson, the Doctor can now - for the most part - put on a bra without major disaster, and moves onto eyeing her own reflection with interest.
"Well, that's a start," she murmurs. "Now. The real stuff."
The Doctor takes back to the pile, and River takes back to the couch. Clothes are being thrown everywhere, and it's going to be a hell of a cleanup, but it's delightful to watch. River's never had the chance to see her spouse go through the initial stages of finding themselves after regeneration, and probdbkt never will again.
The Doctor seems to have found a shirt she likes - a plain white blouse with long sleeves - and is holding up a pair of dark trousers. The former garment is hanging off her, unbuttoned, and River is back to having to exercise some serious self-control against her increasing need to march over there, back her unfairly adorable wife into the nearest wall, and have her way with her.
Once the Doctor's got the trousers on - they're fitted all the way down to the ankles, and suit her figure nicely - she buttons up the blouse and rolls the sleeves up to her elbows. Apparently satisfied, she goes back to rummaging until she finds a pair of sturdy boots and pulls those on as well with the nearest pair of socks she can find.
It looks good, from where River is sitting, if a bit basic. But the Doctor doesn't seem to be done yet. She's muttering to herself and turning the place upside down.
River's about to ask if there's a problem when -
"Aha!" The Doctor exclaims triumphantly, holding a garment over her head. She slips on the dark purple waistcoat and buttons it up, before turning to face River, hands going for her pockets only to be partially foiled by the lack of depth. "Alright. What do you think?"
"Hello sweetie," River says with great approval, making the Doctor smile and tuck a strand of golden hair behind her ear.
"Just need a coat," the Time Lady says to herself, and she quickly finds a long, dark grey one that is just a little bit too big, but somehow suits her all the more for it.
Once it's on, she looks in the mirror, and smiles a little smile to herself.
"There we are," she says quietly.
"Let me see, then."
The Doctor turns around and smiles at River before lifting her head slightly towards the ceiling. "What do you think, old girl?" The TARDIS makes a pleased humming noise, and pure delight flashes across the Doctor's face for a moment. River, meanwhile, stands up and approaches her.
"Approval from both of us, then," River says, smiling. "The missus and the sentient time-ship who is as good as."
"My stubborn, reckless wives," the Doctor says, with a grin.
"Always." River reaches her and lets her hands come to rest on the Doctor's hips. "Now, since you've gotten settled and sorted out your clothes… I think it's time I helped you back out of them. Unless you want me to teach you about lipstick first."
The Doctor bites her lip through a grin. "The only lipstick I currently care about is the one you're wearing, which I'd rather like to be in quite a few other places."
"Ooh, that was smooth!" River says, surprised, whacking her on the arm as she lets out a little delighted laugh. "Oh, that's weird, I don't think I want you to be smooth, I like you when I made you blush."
"Go on then," the Doctor replies, lifting an eyebrow, only to lose some of her bravado a moment later. "But, er, do bear in mind that this time around is going to be a fair bit different. I don't quite know my way around this body."
"But you know your way around mine," River replies, making the Doctor smirk, "and I would consider it a delightful privilege to teach you how this new body of yours works. And learn for myself, of course. I love being with new versions of you." She starts unbuttoning the waistcoat with deft fingers. "It's like Christmas, all the layers with the best possible present inside."
The Doctor laughs, her eyes warm and dark. "I am curious to know what it's like to have sex with you now that you're taller than me."
"That's more interesting to you than the fact that you've got a-"
"I never said that, I just-" The Time Lady blushes furiously. "Shut up and kiss me, won't you?"
River is more than happy to do just that, cupping her wife's face in her hand and meeting soft lips with her own.
This is stolen time, between them, this week that no doubt will be one of the most cherished pockets of time in River's life, and River intends to make the most out of every second.
I might do a second piece which is a smutty continuation of this, but that'll be it for me writing Thirteen until we see more of her character, this made me nervous enough as it is.
Please let me know what you thought!