Title: It's Good To Be Needed
Rating: Light M or Edge of T
Warnings: Implied Spark-bond, spark- sharing, D/s, pain play
Characters/Pairing: Arcee/Cliffjumper (implied), Arcee/Bumblebee, Acree/Rachet, Arcee/Bulkhead, Arcee/Optimus Prime
Summary: Sometimes it's good to be the only girl. Explores Maslow's Hierarchy of Need, and what fun being the only girl can be.
Prompt: There was a prompt for Booty call, and smut and this came to mind. It doesn't fit, but I liked it so I ran with it. Un-Beta'd
Arcee knew she had been blessed by Primus. She had been blessed to find a place in Aegis of Prime. She had been blessed in having Cliffjumper as her first partner. He taught her so many things. She had learned how to be a stealthy scout, a fierce warrior, how to think on her feet, and how to fight her way out of any corner. Being a smaller mech himself they had an instant connection. That connection had grown into a full fledged spark-bond. One that had burned so hotly her spark casing felt like a censer in worship of him. In the aftermath of their overloads she sometimes thought the intensity would consume her leaving only cinders and ash. Having it ripped from her so suddenly she sometimes had to put her hand over her spark to make sure it was still there, still pulsing. That her chest cavity did not have a black hole with all it's density and mass sitting within it slowing pulling her apart from the inside out.
In those first days after the loss of Cliff she couldn't rise above the first level of her physiological need, on something Rachet called Maslow's Hierarchy of Need. She doubted that even the simple task of existing would have been possible if it weren't for the members of the Aegis as well as Prime himself. More than once she had visited Rachet insisting something was broken. More than once did Prime himself come to her with Energon and sit with her while she forced even the smallest portion down. More than once did the sadness in Bumblebee's eyes guilt her into taking just a little more. In hindsight she would say she was being self indulgent, only thinking of her own overwhelming loss. She knew she could do so because she could trust that the Aegis and even Prime himself would see to her second level of need, safety. It was nice to feel so sheltered and protected, even if it was from herself in the beginning.
As she rose out of her pain she began to see to the third level of need, love in it's many forms. When she reached that level she realized that all her companions had that same need, especially after so central a loss. The opposite of hurt is heal. The best ways to heal such a wound are time and love. While time was something they may not always have, love was easily given between those that had already shared so much.
Bumblebee while an excellent scout and fierce protector, was still young by their standards. His version of love was that of the nurturing innocence of a first love. A level of intimacy that was hard to reach at first for her. However seeing the hope shine in his optics when she came to him she could not resist. His touches where shy. His caresses where uncertain. She discovered he liked to be the one who was held while they shared and stroked and touched and shattered and rebuilt together.
Bee did not lead when they shared as Cliff had. With Bee, Arcee took the lead as they came together. She would hold herself above him, directing his touches, nuzzling, and licking. She'd take him into her body, but more often he would pull her into him. They would share the hongi and he fell apart underneath her. Bumblebee's kind nature allowed her heart to heal and reopen. She allowed him to find and anchor in the madness of war that was so unlike his persona. It became nothing for him to come to her after he'd been on a particularly harsh mission, or one that kept him away from the Aegis for an extended amount of time. She became his harbor, he became her pharos.
She taught herself to see the ways her fellow warriors need to be shown that they were loved, cared for and belonged in this new life. She wanted to help them see this as a life and not allow themselves to fall into the despair of thinking of themselves as only machines of war.
Bulkhead's need was for vulnerability. Not hers but his. He needed to not be the strong one. Needed to be shown that there was strength in weakness. That giving another dominion over his strength was freeing. That words could give safety. That chains and magnets were not just the things he had once used in his previous life of construction. That these things could be used to hold him safe while he fell apart and was himself rebuilt. Bulkhead learned that restraint was not something that he always had to show. Words had never been were his strength had lay, but words spoken with a lover could have alternative meanings that made his spark blaze.
Rachet needed to be cared for. 'Physician heal thyself' was easier said and harder to do. So Arcee learned the ins and outs of his systems. Where to touch to make his exoskeleton lock, but not shut down. Which wires and cables were his most sensitive. She learned that Rachet for all his boorishness could beg like a spoiled sparkchild when he was met with just the right amount of pain, particularly if it came at the point of her foot, or a prick from her blade. She learned that if she could hold him on the edge between pain and pleasure long enough when his overload finally came his lights and sirens came with it. He had screamed at them once that his pistons may be rusty but his hearing was excellent. She knew that his pistons were not rusty, nor were his valves. And for as much as Rachet preached slowness, and patience during recovery he showed neither.
Prime's needs were harder to meet. Not because he didn't have them but because he was better at hiding them. It had taken nearly freezing to death with him to even get a glimpse into that window of his soul. Touch. As a Primes he had been so revered that he had been set above and all who might seek him. He was alone. When he'd been forced into becoming the Autobot commander he'd had to separate himself from those he may send to their deaths, again setting him apart. He'd never wanted any of this. Inside him was still the mech that longed for the simplicity of a quiet life.
The first time Arcee tried to reach him she took him into the middle of the desert, far away from any light pollution. They sat in silence watching Earth pass through a meteor shower. When dawn drew near he made to get up so that they could return to base. Instead Arcee grabbed his hand and held him fast making him watch the Earth's sun crest over the mountains. By the way his optics twitched and flicked she could tell he enjoyed watching the way in which light and shadows painted rock.
The next time she bridged them into the wilds of Alaska to show him the Aurora Borealis. After pushing much calm into the space where her fields brushed his, and data burst asking for his trust she actually got him to lay back as they had in the Arctic. Feeling the hard hold he kept on himself ease down Arcee's hand sought out his so that he could feel he was not alone. She knew she was getting through to him on their next trip to the Sequoia National Forest and the King's Canyon National Park. Normally stoic and detached she could see the wonder in his eyes at these giant trees. He was dwarfed by their size, nor could he reach his arms completly around their trunks. Arcee swore in her long life seeing a Prime in wonder of anything was a sight to behold, but seeing this mech behind the mantle would remain a cherished memory forever.
When they finally did come together Arcee could tell he had only done so because he felt it was for her benefit. Prime had many mech's worth of shared experience hidden with his connections to the Primes of past. She more than appreciated being the recipient of such knowledge, it was foundation shattering to be the focus of such energies. To know that this being that was capable of holding the attentions of any number of species, that could level a skyscrapers, a being that if he so chose could have ruled worlds with the entire population happily kowtowing to him for his benevolence was bring that to bear for her pleasure was a powerful aphrodisiac.
But the times when they didn't not share, times when he would call for her to join him on patrol that was little more than a drive, or request that she join him in council, those were some of the fondest times she'd ever spent in another's company. They would speak of nonsenseical things. He would tell her stories of other Prime's past that were not privy to the historical documents. She would listen to his latest diplomatic troubles. He would tell her of discoveries Orion had made in previous life. She would reassure him when he spoke of his fears.
As time passed and their knowledge became more widely known among the humans, she became his choice companion for diplomatic missions. Arcee would accompany him to different countries as bodyguard, liaison, sounding board, or just run interference from over zealous leaders. The reason's Prime gave to the rest of the Aegis for choosing her was that her smaller size and feminine features where less threatening to humans. They both knew that wasn't the entire reason.
When Jack left this plane for what lies beyond it was Prime who she turned to. While Bee could sympathize as all knew Raf's time too one day would end. It was Prime who calmed her as she raged. He was the one who held her when she wanted to wage war against an enemy that she could never fight. He soothed her fears as the darkness she'd felt after Cliff had left her threatened to consume her again.
It was in that time when the darkness of another broken bond seemed like it would succeed in swallowing her that Prime spoke to her words that would save her soul. "Arcee, I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings. My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. And I salute that source in you. Let us work together towards unity and love." Looking in his optics she could see so much. The mech who would be Prime, the one who would not be, the one who had seen too much, and the one that hoped to see so much more. So Arcee placed her hand in his as she had so long ago on a frozen wasteland where a different darkness had threatened placing her trusted in him and his words now as she had then.