*Author's Note: I know I shouldn't be writing this while I'm already in the middle of writing another story, but this took over my brain and made it impossible for me to write anything else. This is going to be a two-shot, the first part is Ran's POV, and the second is Shinichi's. I hope you enjoy it, and please review once you finish reading. They mean a lot, and I really appreciate them. With that said, onwards with 'The Leap'! The second part is out, so please read and REVIEW! Otherwise, how am supposed to know you liked it or not? I want to know if I should write more things like this.*

The Leap

Part One: I Jump

"Ran-neechan!" calls Conan, who is waist deep in the azure water. He wears slightly lopsided snorkels on face, and is waving at me, urging me to come into the ocean with him. He wears a bright smile on his now nine year old face, but it hasn't really changed since the first day I met him. I want to smile back at him, but I can't seem to get my lips to form the shape I want them to.

I've found it very hard to smile since that day. The day where Shinichi left, and he never came back. I still try to cling to the memory of his arms wrapped around my waist, and the feeling of his lips as we kissed. His strong, powerful voice, full of confidence, his eyes, every single detail of that glorious week where he was mine, and mine alone…

It's been one month since that then. He told me he loved me more than anything else in the world, and that he never wanted to leave my side. He told me that he was going to stay, and that he was sorry for leaving me. He told me that he wasn't leaving again. Ever.

"Ran." I can hear his voice in my head, see hisbeautiful eyes. They are glowing a brilliant blue, like a sapphire, and are radiating with fiery warmth. The intensity of his gaze washes over me like a wave, and I can't seem to breathe. "I love you." He leans in towards me, and I can feel sparks-

"Ran-neechan, are you okay?" Conan is standing in front of me now, dripping wet with salt water. He has a concerned look on his face. It appears much too often now; an expression filled with much more worry than a boy his age should be. It's almost as if he knows the depth of the pain I'm going through even though I do my best to hide it.

I put on a false smile; trying my best to make him think I'm the same neechan he had two months ago. The bright, happy Mouri Ran who was never down for long, always strong, always waiting for the day her best friend would come home.

Two months ago, Shinichi called and said he might be coming home soon. Conan's parents also called, saying they wanted to take him back to the US with them. Surprisingly, he hadn't argued, and left willingly with his mom who picked him up. Three days later, Shinichi came back home.

"Ran, I'm back!" yells a much too familiar voice as loud steps sound from the stairway. I freeze in my dad's office where I'm cleaning up, unable to believe my ears. It's been so long since I've heard that voice for real, I feel like I'm dreaming. Because it's only in my dreams that he comes back to me.

But it's not a dream, and the door opens to reveal Shinichi, who is dressed in casual attire and has a huge smile on his face. Without warning, he approaches and hugs me. His warm arms are around my waist, his sweet breath in my ear as he whispers, "I've missed you so much."

"I'm fine, Conan-kun. You shouldn't worry about me so much. It's not something you need to be concerned about. I'm alright." I cannot keep myself from crouching down and looking him in the eye, seeing sorrow in his eyes, the ones identical to Shinichi's.

I grab him and squeeze him tight, needing to feel his tiny body against mine. There's no protest, and I can feel him hug me back. There are no glasses hiding his face, so I can see every detail clearly. His evenly toned skin, his bangs, the little blush spreading across his face. Everything about him just reminds me about Shinichi.
It hurts so much to even think about him, remember the note he left behind.

I'm so sorry I couldn't keep my promise, Ran. I'm sorry I couldn't stay. -Shinichi
After all he'd done, all he could say was sorry. It was the only thing he said during his only phone call following his departure. "I'm so sorry, Ran. If I had a choice, I'd be with you now." It had sounded like he was about to cry, something I could never imagine him doing. I was crying as I screamed my anger at him, asking him why he couldn't come home, and why he just couldn't stay like he promised.

"Conan-kun, I'm so hopeless, aren't I?" There are warm tears spilling down my face. They fall onto his shoulders, where they blend in with the drops of water dripping from his wet dark-brown hair. He frowns and opens his mouth to answer, but I don't let him speak. I want him to know just a little bit more of my feelings, how much it hurts. "I just can't forget about that deduction geek no matter how hard I try. I don't want to remember him anymore, it hurts so much. But it hurts too much to forget him too; I love him more than anything. I'm so utterly hopeless. Conan-kun, what do you think I should do?" It probably isn't a good idea to ask a seven year old about love, a topic he probably doesn't understand, but I want to hear what he's going to say, because it always sounds like what I feel Shinichi would tell me.

"Ran-neechan," he starts, hesitating as his blue eyes flicker. He looks as if he is about to cry, but he wears a strong mask. His deep blue irises are filled with guilt that I can't comprehend; he has nothing to blame himself for. "Ran-neechan. You should probably try to forget Shinichi-niichan." He looks away from me, shifting his gaze to the pale sand covered with beautiful seashells. "I don't think he can come back. He'd understand."

Conan would always say things beyond his age. He tended to talk about what Shinichi would want me to do, how he would be okay with it, just as if he were Shinichi.

I had long since shoved that theory out the door, knowing Shinichi wouldn't keep something as big as turning into a little kid secret from me. Even before he confessed his love, I knew he would care enough to tell me something that was hurting me so much. Shinichi wouldn't let me suffer like this, not if he were the boy standing in front of me.

But sometimes, the theory isn't so farfetched and I almost have myself believing it. With how much I miss him, and their nearly identical looks, it isn't difficult for me to mistake Conan as Shinichi. I almost see Shinichi now, reflected in those bottomless blue orbs. "Conan-kun, do you really believe that? That Shinichi would want me to forget about him?"

It becomes one of those moments where everything seems to come to a standstill; the frolicking kids playing around us, the noisy sea gulls, and even the crashing of waves. It is an endless moment where Conan closes his eyes as if in pain, then blinks them open, warmth and sorrow in his gaze. "He wants what's best for you, Ran-neechan. Even if it means cutting him out of the picture."

"You remind me of him so much, Conan-kun. I wish that you could be him, that way I wouldn't hurt so much." He is silent now, not knowing how to respond. I realize not for the first time that I never know what he's thinking. What exactly is behind that enigmatic gaze.

I'm so glad he convinced his parents to let him come back to Japan; I don't think I could live without him. That smile, those bright blue eyes are all that have kept me wanting to live on. His childish chatter, his cute innocence, the things that keep me from remembering Shinichi. All my friends will talk about is him, and I shut them out. All my parents will talk about is finding another guy, and I shooed them away. Conan avoids all of those touchy topics, and just plows right ahead with anything else; a movie, a TV show, what's going on in his class, anything to keeps me from thinking about Shinichi.

My father and mother were extremely worried about me at first, when I spent all day locked in my bedroom crying. I might have died from malnutrition had it not been for Conan's adorable boyish voice calling for me from the other side of the door, begging for me to come out. I had opened the door, bent down and hugged him, whispered out my sorrows the same way I am now.

"Shinichi-niichan never meant to hurt you. He wants to come back, but he can't. He's so sorry." His voice is cracking, and now he is crying with me. I wipe away the tear from his eye, and apologize for dropping all of my troubles onto him. I am really such a selfish person. Why should Conan have to worry about me?

"I'm so sorry for leaving you all these months without even a phone call, Ran." Shinichi is smiling apologetically, still grasping my arms. He looks so happy; unlike all the other times he returned. He does not appear sick, a first. It's as if nothing ever happened; nothing ever tore us apart.

"When are you leaving again, Shinichi?" I ask, knowing every time he came back, he would suddenly disappear, leaving me heartbroken once again. I wanted to know how much time I would have before that happened- so I would at least have a warning.

"I'm staying for good this time. Forever. It's because I love you Ran. More than anyone else in this world." His eyes smolder, making me melt in the intensity of that sapphire gaze. He leans forwards, and gently pressed his lips to mine. "Will you accept my feelings, Ran?" How can I not? His kiss was sweet and delicate, and want more…

"Yes, Shinichi. I do." He smiles, and then kisses me again, and this time, it's more forceful, more passionate, and is fueled by a surprising. It's like I can't breathe...

"Conan-kun, how about I go swimming with you? Maybe I'll cheer up a little bit." He nods, his bangs bobbing up and down, and starts pulling me towards the waves. I need a distraction from my torturous memories- they only make me want to see Shinichi more.

"You'll love it, Ran-neechan! The water's really nice!" His worries seemed to have evaporated instantly as a huge grin is set in place, made real by his childish energy. However, it seems slightly forced, and I am struck with a thought that he might be pretending as much as I am. Don't be silly, Ran. Conan's biggest concerns are probably about whether or not he'll be able to play. Not love troubles.'

"Wait a second, Conan-kun! I need to put my hat away!" I take off my hat and place in on the chair I had brought for our trip to the beach. My dad had won a free night's stay at a local hotel during a lottery, but had been too busy to come with us.

We are on an island a few miles away from the mainland; a beautiful place famous for its coral reefs and rocky beaches. Conan has been thoroughly enjoying himself until my little 'incident' and I didn't mean to spoil his fun. I tried to treat the vacation as a temporary reprieve from the constant troubles of home, but the majority had followed me here. Why couldn't I stop thinking about Shinichi?

Maybe it was because he'd always been part of my life, one way or another. The annoying boy at school, the deduction geek who became my best friend, my savior, my most important person. We were always linked, hand in hand, until he disappeared without a word.

He'd left me in the dark, without even a hint of his whereabouts. When he called me the first time after that, he told me he'd be back soon, and not to worry about him. 'Soon' turned into months, and he became merely a voice, a ghost that kept on calling. A ghost that couldn't even tell me where he was; a ghost that gave me little more than empty promises.

I was always so worried about him; there was no case or even a string of cases that could keep Shinichi occupied for so long. When he came back the first time, he claimed Conan had told him to come, but he left just as quickly as he arrived. During the school play, he appeared, and it seemed as if I were living a dream. I'd had a whole day with him and I believed he was back for good. Out of all the times he could have left, it was in the middle of what I now referred to as 'the date', breaking my heart worse than he had before.

I won't go back to the several other times where he'd appear for just a single day, telling me that he needed to tell me something important, and leaving before he could. I skip straight to that week where he came back, and told me that he loved me.

"Ran, I don't want to let you go, ever." He buries his face in my hair, and whispers into my ear. We are still standing in my dad's office, his arms around me again, pulling me against his body. I can't believe this is real, and that he is actually back. That he promised he was never leaving again.

"Shinichi, did you finish your case?" I ask curiously, wanting to know what has kept him occupied for so long.

"No, it's not finished yet. But I decided I didn't want to work on it anymore. I wanted to be free." I don't ask for the meaning behind his words, I just accept it.

We spend the week as if we were in a dream, making up for all the lost months that we missed. We explore Tokyo; go back to Tropical Land, where he tells me his case started. He tells me that somebody had tried to murder him, and that he had been trying to catch that man. However, he had to keep himself hidden, or else he'd be made a target again.

"Is he still out there?" He nods, noting the distress in my eyes. Shinichi had almost been killed, and it was why he had been hiding. But he never told me why one person could be so dangerous.

"I couldn't capture him, but I don't think anybody can. It's out of my ability. But don't worry about me; he won't come back, I swear." He leans in, and presses his lips against mine. "All we have to worry about, is you and me. Nothing else. Okay, Ran?"

"Okay."

A cold wave washes over my face, taking the happy memory with it. I gasp in shock as Conan laughs wholeheartedly, and I join in to the melodious sound of his giggles. "You look so funny, Ran-neechan! There's seaweed in your hair!" I pick out the offending object, and throw it at him. It smacks him on the nose and sticks there, starting our seaweed battle.

I am actually entertained, throwing myself into it, having fun for one of the first times since Shinichi left. Conan seems to have the ability to lift my sorrow replace it with joy using his enthusiasm, and I truly appreciate it. I could not have a better boy as my little brother.

We stay in the ocean until about dinnertime, where I force him out of the water, despite the protests.

"But Ran-neechan! I wanna play some more!" he whines, trying to win me over with puppy dog eyes. It further confirms that Conan is Conan, and not Shinichi. Shinichi would never debase himself to acting like such a little kid.

"You can play tomorrow, Conan-kun. We're not leaving until the afternoon." I flick his nose, and he turns his nose and pouts. I giggle, and start pulling him back towards where our chairs are set up. "Carry your stuff, okay? I'll handle the chairs." I hand him his beach toys, a shovel and a bucket, and I take the heavier cargo. He takes one last glance at the beach before we set up towards the hotel.

"Two seats please," I tell the maître as we enter the formal and expensive restaurant. Dad's lucky win had covered all costs, so I was definitely going to take advantage of this. It required women to wear dresses, and men to wear tuxs, so I put Conan in his little suit even though kids could be dressed casually. I thought it looked cute. My dress was long and white; it made me think of a wedding dress. Shinichi had promised me that one day, we'd be married, and tears rolled down my face once more.

"I want us to be together forever, Ran." He kneels down, and takes my hand, blue eyes glittering with emotion. "Will you marry me?" I am taken aback by this, and I can hardly breathe, hardly take in this sudden turn of events.

"Shinichi, we're only twenty!" I reply blushingly, the red spreading to my ears as the people around us begin to stare.

"Is that a no?" he teases playfully, knowing full well that I wouldn't refuse him. "You know I really mean it, right? I bought you a ring." He takes out a small box covered in purple velvet, and opens it to reveal a small red ruby set in a perfect gold circle. "You said red was the color of the string that connects us, didn't you? Do you like it?"

"Shinichi, you know I'm saying yes, but isn't it a little bit early? We should wait a little bit, so perhaps my dad won't kill you." I don't feel I'm ready to walk down the aisle, all eyes on me, but I do want him beside me. Marriage just seems like an extra, a step that isn't necessary at the moment.

"Fine, but when the time comes, you will marry me. Promise?" His sapphire irises are glittering with hope, and the setting sun tints his face a slight red. He wears a gentle smile so different from his usual arrogance. This is a different type of confidence.

"I promise."

"Ran-neechan, our table's ready!" Conan is jumping up and down, trying to pull me towards the open chairs. I let myself be driven forward, and sit down on the opposite side of him. The waitress hands him a kid's menu, and he scans it quickly, looking for his favorite dish. I view mine a little slower, trying to keep myself from remembering all the memories.

"I'll just take this pasta dish right here." I point to an Italian dish that I can't pronounce without bothering to read the description. I don't want to read it; it might make me think of that night in the restaurant.

"Good choice," agrees the waitress. "Can I get you two something to drink?"

"I want a juice! Lemonade please!" calls Conan loudly, smiling widely. The waitress smiles back at him, and writes down his drink. "I want the chicken tenders too!"

"Just give me an ice water." She walks away, leaving just me and Conan. He doesn't seem very talkative, and hardly brings up anything during our dinner. When he does talk, he seems to be trying to pry into my thoughts, and I ward him off.

We stop by our room after dinner, where Conan changes into more comfortable clothing. My dad calls and asks how we're doing. "I'm fine, dad. It's great out here. I wish you could have come." I sound like a postcard, and I know it. He seems concerned, but eventually he forgets about it and tells me about his latest case.

I take out the hotel notepad and start doodling on it while he's talking, not wanting to be rude and hang up. With just a couple 'mm-hm's and 'yeah's in the right spots, he thinks I'm actually giving him my full and undivided attention. I look back at the hotel notepad, and realize I've drawn an eye; one that looks shockingly like Shinichi's- or is it Conan's?

"Ran-neechan, didn't you say you wanted to go out on the cliffs?" asks Conan innocently, peering out the window at the soon to-be setting sun. It's beautiful, and I nod. It's one of the reasons I agreed to come on this vacation.

"Dad, we've got to go. The sun's setting soon and we don't want to miss it." I hear a protest from the other line before I end the call, but I get up and put the notepad and pen in my pocket. I want to finish the drawing.

I hold Conan's hand as we walk up the steep, rocky path to the cliff, where there is a clear view of the sun, a red jewel set in a pink sky. There are several other people there too, spread out across the flat, smooth surface, perfect for watching the scene in front of us.

Conan leans over the edge of the cliff, and I slowly pull him back, not wanting him to fall down the fifty feet into the rocks and water below. The sun is starting to sink into the ocean now, turning the crystalline blue into a bloody red, and drawing several 'oohs' and 'ahhs'. Conan suddenly jumps up and smacks his forehead.

"Ran-neechan! Where's the camera?" He looks around, trying to see if I have brought it. I haven't; I had forgotten it in the hotel room.

"I left it on the desk, let me go get it."

"No let me, Ran-neechan. I'll be right back. Can I have the key?" I hand it to him, and he sprints off, dodging the others who are walking up the hill.

"Don't lose the key, Conan-kun!" I yell after his retreating figure, seeing it fade into the crowd.

Now that I'm alone, my pain comes back to me, and I sit on the edge, letting my legs dangle over it. I stare at the rocks, the crashing waves, and suddenly an idea comes to me. A way to escape my pain.

I hesitate, thinking about the consequences. Who will be hurt? Who would suffer from my death? I shrug these off, knowing that Conan will be back in an instant and my resolve will be shattered. I have only this one instant.

I pull out the notebook, and write three notes. One is for my parents, one is for Conan, and the last one is for Shinichi. I do not blame him, but I let him know I couldn't stand waiting anymore. The one I write to Conan is the hardest, because I truly do not want to hurt him. I know he will cry, and he will have lost his neechan. But I tell him I want him to move on, because he deserves better than to waste away on my death.

I place the notes under a rock, and stand up, the dying rays of the sun lighting up my face. The people behind me don't notice; they think I'm merely admiring the view just like them, not slowly moving my feet towards the edge.

I don't look down, not wanting to see the churning water. I place my toes on the precipice, feeling the wind in my hair. I pretend I'm on a diving board, and bend my legs. I hear gasps behind me, and the scrambling feet. I hear Conan's scream, but I do not stop.

I jump.

*Yes, I know. I truly do torture everybody. But I needed to write this! Everybody always thinks that if Ran died, it would be because the BO killed her, but I personally feel she's more likely to die from suicide. It's slightly AU because Shinichi confessed to her in the London Arc, so pretend that part never happened. Part Two is Conan's reaction to her death, an explanation about the week, and etc. It's called 'Part Two: I Follow'. Sound intriguing? Can I have a review? *puppy dog eyes* I worked hard on this!*