Death.

It isn't what everyone thinks it is. It's not a dark tunnel you walk down until you get to a bright white light, all the while people from your past are calling your name, encouraging you forward.

That's not it at all. It's falling so fast, your stomach twists like when you go down a sixty-five foot drop on a roller coaster. Except, you're just falling- free falling, just like that one song- trying to get a hold of something. But there's nothing there, and all the while you can't help but wonder if your going to hell, because hell is supposed to be below us, right? And all around you is darkness. Sheer, impenetrable blackness.

At first, the drop is unbearable. All you want to do is scream, but the air is all in your face so you can barely breathe. All you can do is flail like a fish out of water and beg the ending to this fall isn't as painful as you're imagining it would be, although I think my gunshot death was probably worse than the hit I could take any minute. You know you're dead, so it's not like you'll die again. And if you do, well, all you can guess is that you'll start falling again. And then it'll start over again, until the drop no longer twists your stomach and your throat is sore from all the screaming you've forced out, regardless of how hard it is to scream with all the air in your face.

Hello, I'm Matt. I've been falling for about ten minutes now, and I-

And then I stopped falling.

I didn't hit the ground, so there was no pain. I simply stopped falling. I was just floating in mid air, surrounded by the black of a night with no moon, stars, or street lights. Below me was no ground, above me was no sky. There wasn't even another soul, or whatever I am, near me.

"Mail." The voice was so loud, it echoed off the nothingness of this black space.

I blinked. It had been so long since someone had called me that. At first, I looked around to make sure no enemies had heard. Then I remembered it didn't matter, anyway.

"Mail," it called again. The voice was definitely masculine. God?

"I can hear you, you know."

A chuckle as loud as thunder followed. "Do you know where you are?"

I had to think on that one. Heaven? I didn't know. Hell? Probably, but that Satan sure had a good sense of humor. "Game over?"

Another chuckle. "This is heaven."

The blackness around me melted away and it became a bright white. There was a television. A television in heaven? Sweet. Except this was no ordinary television. It was at least six feet taller than I, and just as wide. I wondered how the picture came through- you know, if it was all static or if it was as good as high-def. I'd love to play a Wii on this bad boy. I ran over to it and placed my gloved palms on the screen.I think I had started drooling. Where were the game systems?!

"No, Matt. This is to see your loved ones."

I cringed. Could the voice read my thoughts? My thoughts were private. Well, I didn't really care whether or not they were private, but for the sake of others around me, I figured it was for the best. For a split second, I thought about the magazines I had hidden under my bed...

"Turn it on."

There was a clicker on the floor. I pressed the power button. There was a noise that told me it turned on, but the screen stayed black. Realization hit me like a truck and I sat down.

"There's.. no one," I muttered. I wasn't sad, really, because I had lived knowing this. It was a bit of a buzz-kill, though. But, where was Mello? He was my best friend, after all.

"He's dead."

I figured.

"He can't come."

I knew that. "Can I go to him?"

The voice didn't answer.

"He's my best friend. I don't want to spend eternity all alone."

"Eternal damnation is what you're asking for. Here, you can meet your parents. Here, you can see Watari. Here, you can see L."

I thought about it. Watari? L? Mom and Dad? I could be with them all, like a big reunion of the people I missed most. I could be with them, leaving Mello behind. "Eternal damnation is nothing. It would be the same as if I lived forever, stuck at eighteen. I lived in hell. Well, that's a little dramatic. It was a fun hell, at times."

"You can never come back."

"What is this? All Dogs Go To Heaven? Seriously, if Charlie didn't stay for that sexy whippet that was so obviously in heat, I'm not staying for parents who left me behind. Tell L and Watari I said 'hi'. Now, get me outta here."

Then I fell again, but this time it was different. There was no twisting feeling in my stomach, and I realized there was no air in my face. Last time, I hadn't been falling, I had been pulled upwards. Now I was falling, my back to the air. With each second, my body got warmer until I was on fire. When I began to scream from the pain, I fell to a hard ground below.

"...Matt?" Mello stood over me. I could feel him watching me.

I couldn't move for a while because of the pain, but when I could, I looked up. "Mello. Hi."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Why are you here?"

I sat up and rubbed my head where it had bashed against the ground. "Heaven... didn't have anything good on television."

Mello smirked. "This place doesn't have television." Mello didn't call it hell. He had never been very religious. That cross he wore just made him feel bad ass. Go figure. Of course, we had no reason to think this was hell. It could have been something else completely.

"Heaven might as well not have one," I told him. It was hot here; the ground burned to ashes. There was no booming voice, which led me to believe it wasn't hell. Satan was in hell. At least Mello was here. It was better than being with parents who died before I could remember them, looking at a fallen hero, or watching a black screen all day. for all of eternity

"I'm thirsty," Mello whined. Then he sighed. There was no water here. No relief from anything. But at least I was with my best friend.