I own only the plot. NOTHING ELSE.
Chapter 1
She didn't know when it happened, when she started considering James Potter a friend. She didn't know when, or why, but she knew it none the less. Her instinctive reaction was so get all defensive and push this realization to the farthest corner of her brain and leave it there for good, but after thinking about it, it made her feel happy, almost satisfied. She didn't know whether she should tell her friends or James, but decided on just letting it be. She didn't want to make a big deal about it because she knew word would spread through the halls of the school faster then fiendfyre and gossip would make it a bigger deal than it was. She also wouldn't know how her friends would take the news. They had been on the receiving ends of her rants about his arrogant attitude, his stupid ego and every single other aspect she used to detest about him for far too long to just hear her say that she doesn't mind being around him anymore to simply just believe her. But she had been acting rather civil around him lately and maybe if she continued her friends wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary if they didn't fight anymore. She didn't even want to think about telling James. He was much more mature now but she wouldn't put it past him to gloat about his being right. Yes, she thought. She would just let it be.
She was laying in their personal head quarters that she shared with James Potter. She had been thinking about how worried she was that he left in the night with no explanation and hadn't returned yet. That's when the realization hit her. She was actually concerned of the whereabouts and safety of James Potter. The name felt so different to her now, she couldn't stop repeating it over and over in her head; James Potter, James, James Potter. Whenever she thought about the name in the past it was with anger or disgust. Never anything else. She knew at that moment that her seventh year at Hogwarts was not going to be the same as her past six.
She climbed out of her bed and walked down the stairs into the common room. It was dark and crowded. James and her had many close friends, so at the beginning of the month when they had moved in they soon realized that the two overstuffed chairs angling towards the fire would not suffice for holding their company, so they transfigured a couple couches (which left the room rather cramped). Lily's friends usually came over to study or sometimes for even just for girl talk, and James' "Marauders" liked to come over to scheme or talk about their many secrets ( which Lily highly disapproved).
She grabbed her schoolbag where she had thrown it on the desk after her class and made her way over to the couch closest to the fireplace. She didn't even notice that it wasn't lit because she was too busy thinking about where James could be. She realized that there was nothing she could do about now and simply sitting there fretting would help no one so she finished next weeks homework until she fell asleep.
James, Sirius, Peter and Remus slowly made their way out of the secret passage that led to the whomping willow and started their slow trek to the Gryffindor common room. He and Sirius were carrying a half unconscious Remus and Peter was limping behind them. After what seemed like way too many staircases than normal they made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady, James nodded to Sirius and Peter and left them to make his way to the Head rooms.
"Chivalry" he mumbled hurriedly to the portrait of the historic Godric Gryffindor and stumbled his way into the common room. He found Lily laying on the couch with one leg over the side and the other draped over the arm and her transfiguration textbook lying open on the stomach. It never seized to amaze him how perfect she was. Even as he watched her awkwardly sleeping on the couch he thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. With her deep red hair that naturally waved down to her mid back; her flawless, pearly white skin; her tiny waist and long legs; and last but not least her big emerald eyes that showed so much emotion he swore he could see into her soul.
Trying to be as quiet as possible to not wake his sleeping beauty he crept though the room trying to make it to the other side so he could ascend the stairs that led to his room... to his bed. He weaved through the maze that the various furniture made and finally made it safely to the stairs. Once he got there, he looked back at Lily and silently lifted his wand to light the fire so she wouldn't be cold throughout the night. He wished he could bring her to his bedroom so she could join him in his bed. But he was making progress, it was slow, he had to admit, but it was progress non the less. She might actually consider him a friend now. But he was patient, and he would do whatever it took, no matter how long it look.
He continued climbing the stairs with great difficulty (due to his recent injuries from the night's activities), made his way to his room, locked the door and collapsed on his bed. He did not expect to move for at least another 15 hours.
She jerked awake at the sound of a locking door. Had the fire always been lit? she thought. Was someone in here now? She jumped off the couch and scanned the dimly lit room with her wand at the ready, it didn't look like anyone was there. She slowly crept around the desk and tip toed up the narrow staircase, she was read for anything. Once at the top she did another scan, she pushed the door open to her room, no one was there. She was starting to feel uneasy now.
Something grunted from outside her room. Lily practically flew out the door to inspect the scene; it was the exact same as she left it. She froze, there was a low rumbling coming from James' room. She had been in situations like these before on her nightly patrols as head girl, but she new the worst she could find was snogging sixth years or rambunctious second years. And also James had always been with her.
James. She needed to get into the room. Maybe this thing had taken James! What if he was hurt or worse...
"Oh snap out of it Evans" she scolded herself. Thinking about things like that would get her no where. She stood there for a moment thinking about what she should do. She could run away and get someone else to deal with it; or she could handle it herself like the true Gryffindor she was. She was Lily Evans for Christ sake, head girl, brightest witch in school, not to mention an aspiring auror! If she truly wished to be an auror she sure as hell wouldn't have people coming to save her every time she got a little scared.
"Alohamora" she whispered and the door clicked open. She lightly pushed it open and peered around to get a look at the room. There was a body laying on the bed, blood and slashes covered it's cloak. She slowly walked across the room to look at the body closely, she was a smart witch, this could be a trap! But as soon as she saw the blood covered face against the pillow she gasped and dropped to her knees.
A deep cut ran from the inside of his eye to the middle of his cheek, there was dried blood around his nose and it looked like a dark bruise was forming by his hairline. She raised a hand and gently stroked his cheek trying not to wake the sleeping head boy. A deep rumble was coming from his throat and he was breathing slowly and heavily. She grabbed her wand where she had dropped it on the floor and started performing the simple heeling spells required to mend his wounds and heal his bruises. She gently peeled off his cloak, unbuttoned his destroyed shirt and continued the spells until he looked as good as new. She then repeated the same thing with his pants, blushing at the thought of what she was doing but continued none the less because she was mature and this needed to be done.
It surprised her how calm she was being, but she was slightly proud of the fact that she had stayed rational and level headed in a stressful situation. That was necessary for her future job.
She was overjoyed by the fact that he was back safely... well as safe as he can be now that he was in her care. She wanted to throw her arms around the sleeping figure on the bed but she didn't want to wake him. Yet. He needed rest and she would let him sleep for the time being. She had been so worried about him, how did this happen? Then suddenly panic erupted from the pit of her stomach. Who could have done this to him? Where had he been? Why didn't he tell her where he was going?
She stood up and walked to the door then stopped, she sighed and turned around. She couldn't possibly get to sleep now knowing he was injured in the next room. What if he woke in the night and needed something? She had healed his wounds that were visible but by the looks of it he probably had more injuries than the eye could see. She made her way to the other side of his bed and carefully as to not wake him, climbed in. She softly took off his glasses and placed them on the side table, ran her fingers through his impossibly soft hair, and drifted off to sleep.
She woke up to a calm Saturday morning feeling brilliant after a great night's sleep. She attempted to stretch out all her morning cramps when she found that there was a heavy arm around her stomach. She slapped her hands to her face as all of the last night's events came flooding back. Slowly she peeked through her fingers to see a very asleep James who was lying on his stomach and was dangerously close to her. Then in a flash, all of her morning tranquility was gone. A new dose of anger hit her square in the face. Where the bloody hell had he been? And what the fuck happened to him? She threw off his arm and jumped out of bed and hastily walked over to the side with the sleeping moron.
"James!" she yelled as she shook his bare shoulder. He didn't move. "James!" she yelled louder this time and directly in his ear. Nothing. She reached over him and grabbed her wand from under the pillow where she always kept it as she slept. She thought about what she could do to make him wake up. A lot of things came to mind that she had done to her friends during the previous years when they had shared a dorm, but she knew he could possibly be seriously injured and didn't want to risk making it worse than it already was.
"Froidurius" she thought as she silently cast him a chilling hex that sent a wave of freezing cold threw his body. He didn't move a bloody finger.
"This boy can sleep through anything!" she murmured under her breath.
She really did not want to resort to this but she guessed she had no choice. She climbed on top of him and straddled his back. Before he woke up, she thought she might sneak another feel of his hair. It was she softest hair she had ever felt, she could sit and run her fingers through it all day long. After that moment of weakness she snapped back to reality. She placed her hands on his back and started gently massaging his tense muscles. Trying to ignore the thoughts about his perfectly toned physique and forcing herself to complete the task at hand, she leaned down and laid her chest over his back and positioned her mouth right above his ear.
"James" she whispered. He flinched a tiny bit. She continued massaging away the knots in his muscular back.
"James darling you have to wake up." His eyes started to flutter open, but looked like they would fall right back to sleep in moments. She had to act quickly.
"I'm terribly lonely in this big bed all by myself" she purred seductively in his ear. His eyes focused and widened to there maximum width.
"... Lily" he said slowly as if he was confused as to why she was saying this. Then Lily realized that was probably exactly what he was feeling at the moment. "what are you doing in my room, on my bed... on me?"
"Maybe it's because you're a fucking asshole!" she yelled then jumped off his bed to start hitting him on the back as hard as she could without doing any damage.
Well...she thought, at least no permanent damage.
He was lying on his bed at the Potter manor, enjoying the calmness that his family home provided. He was content to stay laying there forever, everything about it was completely perfect. He rolled over to go back to sleep when he saw a figure laying beside him. Curious as to whom was in his bed, he reached over to see who was intruding in his sanctuary, but he couldn't reach. But it's so close, he thought. He reached further and further but the figure seemed to keep getting further away. He felt empty without it, like the figure had taken his soul with it, like he'd never be happy again unless it came back to him and stayed forever. He needed it to come back, it wasn't the same without it here, he needed it there with him for everything to go back to normal, back to his home, his sanctuary.
Everything started changing, it wasn't his room back at the family manor anymore, it was a forest. Probably the forbidden forest, he thought. It was incredibly cold out. He wanted to get back to Hogwarts, his home away from home, but he couldn't move. It was like the cold air had frozen him to the hard earth. Then the wind came and it felt like it was pushing him back to the castle, like it was helping him return home. He felt it blow through his hair and around his body. It felt amazing, like a relief he hadn't known he'd been looking for.
He was laying face down on his pillow, his glasses were off, and something was on top of him, pinning him down. Not that he wanted to move, angel like fingers were working wonders to his bruised and overworked muscles. He'd take this over freezing his ass off in a lonely forest any day.
"James" He wondered who possibly could be saying his name. None of his friends knew the pass word to get in and he would have never given it to one of the sleazy girls he sometimes saw. It had to be his mother, he thought. No one else would ever say his name with that much concern dripping from their voice.
"James darling you have to wake up." Yes, definitely his mother. And it just so happened that he had gotten into the habit of not listening to his beloved mother over years so he was going to do as he had so very often practiced and ignore her. There was only one thing that would wake him up before he wished and that was important classes and...
"I'm terribly lonely in this big bed all by myself" Okay now, definitely not his mother. His mother had never seductively whispered to him and he prayed to god that she never would. Who was this wonder woman on his back with the hands of a goddess? He needed her waking him up in his bed every morning. Seriously though, he thought, who was on his back?
"... Lily" he said the name cautiously because he didn't know how the mystery girl would react. If it wasn't Lily, she would be offended that he didn't think of her name, but if it was Lily, well... she'd probably be insulted that he thought of her first and get all flustered and angry. God, he loved angry Lily Evans. Was it possible that she was in his bed right at the very moment? He had too many questions to ask so he settled on one that was on the tip of his tongue anyways. "what are you doing in my room, on my bed... on me?"
"Maybe it's because you're a fucking asshole!" She screamed in his ear then was on her feet lightning fast and he was being beaten before he even could comprehend what had happened. But he knew one thing for sure, he could tell who the source of that scream and the punches were because he had been on the receiving end of both of them many times before. The one and only Lily Evans.
"Lil...OW fuck...Lily stop! Stop!" The punches were still coming but they had lost the power behind them.
Then he heard soft sobs. That, he was not expecting. Why was Lily crying? Usually when she punched him it was out of anger, disgust or frustration. Never sadness. He didn't know how to react, he was so used as to what to do when Lily attacked him with all her regular emotions. Anger (the most common); tease her further until she gets so mad her face matches her long red locks and her eyes sparkle with rage. Pride; remind her that he could also be put on her long list of things to be proud of if she just said yes to one of his date offers. Lily was the source to many other emotions, she was an emotional girl. It's not as if she is the type of emotional teenage girl who cries when a boy doesn't give her the attention she thinks she deserves, or when she heard a bad rumor about herself. No, Lily was very emotionally stable, until it came to him. He was the only one who could get under her skin. It was also one of the things he was most proud of.
But there he was, lying face down on his bed, not knowing what to do as the love of his life cried beside him. He was just going to have to deal with this blindly.
"Lily, why are you crying?" he thought he could maybe get her to explain something to him then he could decide how he should act.
"Why am I crying? Why am I crying James? Maybe because the first time I woke up, you were gone. The second time I woke up, I hear noises from your room and when I come in I see you nearly torn to pieces and almost bleeding to death. Then finally this morning when I woke up..." her voice broke and she trailed off without finishing her sentence. What had happened this morning? he thought. Had he been talking in my sleep? Did she hear him call out to the figure who had stolen his soul? Had he been crying? He decided he didn't want to know the answer to those questions.
He rolled over in his bed so that he was facing her despite his protesting body. She was looking at him way too intensely for his liking.
Damnit, he thought, what did he do to bugger things up this time? He felt like he had been making some progress with her. They hadn't fought in a while and they could actually get through normal conversations without it ending with him in the hospital wing or being left filled with regret. This was progress he'd like to continue but by the looks of her eyes piercing into his brain he didn't think he'd get out of this one unscathed. He slid out of his bed sheets and flung his legs over the side of the bed. That was when he noticed he wore only his white t-shirt that he wore under his robes, and his boxers.
"What happened to my clothes?" He knew it wasn't the most ideal thing to say. Maybe a simple "thanks for saving my life, without you I probably wouldn't have made it through the night" would have been nicer than idiotic thing that had come out of his mouth.
He didn't notice her blush either.
"There was blood all over them and I noticed you had gashes everywhere so I decided to heal them for you. You know, so you didn't stain the sheets." she mumbled then tried to discreetly wipe tears form her eyes.
"Oh well, thank you." Good job James, for once in your life you managed not to speak out of you ass. "How bad was I? I remember barely making it then just collapsing as soon as I hit the bed."
"Well, you were sleeping when I found you but I was impressed that you had even made it this far. Wait, I'm mad at you! Don't you dare try to change the subject on me James Potter you will give me answers right now and I do not care under what means I get them." As she said this she raised her wand so it was pointing at his nose. He took this as a sign to speak.
"I went out with the boys, once every month we get out of the castle just the four of us. I usually don't get hurt this bad, but last night just happened to be a rough one I guess." He shrugged nonchalantly as if it was no big deal.
His answer obviously did not satisfy her though.
"What do you mean it's usually not this bad? You mean to tell me this happens every month? Why on earth do you keep returning to this place month after month when you almost die every time? I swear I will never understand you and your precious Marauders and why you do the things you do. You're all completely mental if you ask me!"
"Well we don't exactly have a choice in the matter Lily. I means, yes, me and the lads do like to break the rules and take risks but do you really think were stupid enough to continually sneak out of the school to return to a place thats obviously dangerous and harmful if we didn't have to?" he ansked with a disbelieving huff. Really, he thought, she could have a little more faith in him.
"Well then be a doll and tell me why it is so important to go back time and time again if you have to continually risk your lives?"
He sighed, he wished so much that he could just tell her. He hated not being able to do exactly what she asked of him, but it wasn't up to him to tell her. Maybe he could ask Remus to tell her himself, then this secrecy could all go away. "I'm sorry Lily but I can't tell you that. You don't know how much I wish I could, but there's nothing I can do about it." He looked away sadly. It's not that he blamed Remus, it wasn't that at all. He has supported him through everything and regretted none of it, it was what officially bonded all of them together when they were younger. They wouldn't be the Marauders without it. But all of their lives would be much simpler if they didn't have to deal with the constant secrecy.
"There's nothing you can do about it? Thats a load of crap and you know it! Don't expect me to just let this go easily either James, either you will tell me or I will figure it out myself!" Then she walked away with fierce strides and a loud frustrated sigh. She walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her.
She was angry now, that he knew for certain. Well this Lily, he thought, he could deal with.
Thanks for reading! This is my first fic and it will probably will be long but I promise to finish it even if takes me forever!
PLEASE REVIEW I'M NEW TO THIS AND I PROBABLY WONT POST AGAIN IF I GET NO RESPONSE. but please don't make me do that because i really want to post the whole thing up here!
thanks everyone!
xoxo
Lyla