Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries nor its characters. They belong to L.J. Smith, Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, The CW Network, and whoever else.
Note/Warning: To be honest, despite not being a huge fan of Vicki when TVD first started, I am loving her in this ghost arc. Though still not as much as Anna. Hinted/implied femslash-y overtones. Feedback appreciated. :)
Don't Cry For Those Who Won't
It hurts. The emptiness inside her (even if she's nothing but empty space these days). Coiling, clenching; tightening up until she forgets that she doesn't have to breathe.
(Her eyes don't sting with hot tears anymore, and that frightens her.)
He's happy and smiling. Like everything is okay. Like nothing's wrong. (Like she doesn't even matter - like she never even did.)
"See? He's moved on, from both of us," Vicki whispers. She's behind and hovering over; she relishes being the taller one. "And with her, no less. After the bitch practically wrapped you up and handed you to John, complete with bow."
It hurts. Even though she can no longer touch anything, feel anything. It hurts (the words ring true and hollow - just because she's right doesn't mean Vicki gives a damn).
And someone else is touching him, holding him, and making him laugh.
'You would really suffer through all this just to hang with me?'
'Yeah, I would.'
'That's, um...'
'Stupid? Pathetic? Old, lurky me?'
'Awesome. That's awesome.'
Jeremy laughed that day, and he smiled that day, and he made love to her that day (and her mother laid dead on the ground that day).
It hurt that the best day of her undead life and the worst were one and the same. (Because not even dying could hurt as much as saying goodbye to Jeremy only to hold her mother's corspe minutes later.)
"He'll be in her pants soon enough. Hands all over her. He's like that. Oh, right." Vicki laughs a little and leans down, mouth to Anna's ear, "I forgot you knew that."
Anna can't breathe. Which is good because she doesn't have to. But sometimes she wants to; sometimes she wants to cry so hard that not needing to breathe is a good thing. She can't cry anymore either. So she takes herself back to the darkness for just a moment (where nothing else exists, and Vicki and Bonnie and Jeremy can't hurt her).
When she comes back Vicki's waiting.
"He's going to help me, Annabelle."
It grates on her nerves the way Vicki emphasizes the part of her name she'd rather forget. Like it's something naughty.
"He won't be able to help himself. It's me. He can't remember me - not like he remembers you." She grins a little; vicious, mean. "No compulsion necessary to help him move on from you. Were you really that horrible in bed?"
Anna sends her flying; Vicki might be stronger, but Anna's not defenseless (against Vicki).
Vicki laughs; an instant later and she's in front of Anna, up against Anna, staring down at Anna. "You didn't deserve it either. We don't deserve this, and you know it."
"That doesn't make it right, Vicki."
"Neither is what's going on in their world! You think Jeremy's innocent? You think he needs protection of the big, bad ghost? He's nothing but a spoiled, selfish brat that moves on to the next girl that gives him what he wants!"
She wants to tell Vicki she's wrong (but she has too many memories of Jeremy that make her hesitate).
Vicki is softer now, petting Anna's hair now. "We could make him help us. We could make them all pay. We'd be good together." She leans down; mouth close to Anna's ear again; "And deep down, you know he'd like it."
Jeremy's a teenage boy. Of course he'd like it.
(And Anna is so damn sick of hurting she almost closes her eyes and takes it in. If she could cry, she'd be sobbing now - and Vicki would pretend to care and wipe away the tears.)
Once upon a time Annabelle was a little girl who loved her mother, and thought monsters weren't real.