Authors Notes: Just a little oneshot that suddenly popped into my head, probably gonna suck but please read and review.
Roxas often wondered if having a heart was worth it.
It's said that only those with hearts could feel.
His fellow nobodies said that they're ultimate goal was to create kingdom hearts to regain the hearts that they'd lost, that's what they were all fighting for.
But why would they want to?
Having a heart meant that they'd have to experience pain, guilt, and other negative emotions. None of them were saints in the past so wouldn't the guilt of what they've done better be left buried?
He asked Axel about this once and he told him that hearts would have allowed them to feel things like joy, excitement, and love. That it wasn't just the negative things that we'd feel.
But joy and other positive things were only temporary. He knew this from the many things he had experienced in his many days at the organization.
Axel also told him that once he gets his heart then he would understand why they were all fighting for it.
But he didn't understand even now.
Even if he didn't have a heart he still felt things:
He felt happy when he was with Xion and Axel at the clocktower.
He felt proud whenever he completed a mission.
He felt sad when they told him Axel died in Castle Oblivion.
He was excited when he saw Axel again after they said he was gone.
He felt distressed when he saw his two best friends fighting each other.
He felt angry when Saix called Xion a doll.
And he cried when he had to kill Xion and she died in his arms.
He felt all these things even when he didn't have a heart, he wondered if this is how things felt like even without a heart then how much more painful would it be when had one to begin with?
He wondered about this as he walked through the rainy streets in the world that never was.
Having a heart meant that he would be able to feel joy, trust, and all the things that make a person "Human".
But what if those things get taken from you?
What if joy gave way to despair?
What if your trust was broken?
Would you be able to handle the pain that followed?
Roxas honestly didn't know the answer.
He felt pain when he was forced to fight his best friend.
Is this what having a heart felt like?
The pain of being forced to kill some you care about, the pain of being forced to kill someone you love?
Roxas didn't know if having a heart was worth it but right now he would have given anything to erase the pain he was feeling.
He would have given anything to get rid of these emotions the others in the organization were risking their lives and fighting for.
As he thought about these things one question kept on plaguing his mind.
Is it worth it?
Authors Notes: Finished! Please read and review and sorry for the emo mess!