"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope...I have loved none but you." - Austen
Shards of Looking Glass
It's funny and a little sad. I want to feel more than void as my head tilts from side to side while I take in this classic painting, breathing for a moment away from Jane Austen's words. She was the mistress of my own passion - maestro of my forte, but I cannot connect the way I once did. A clock hums somewhere in my mind, and my pulse beats with its rhythmic tick, but this place ... it's no longer for me.
I stand, allowing the frayed edges of my imagination to slip to the marble floor, and close the pages of a prophetess of my past. I'm not her - not anymore. I see now through the looking glass only dimly.
Paris is alive with spring. It's a city of romance created for mated and bonded pairs, and I am as lonely as a wilting rose in the desert. Another day and I will be lost to the sands.
He was my everything five hot summers ago - a brief eternity wrapped in Cabernet and cigarettes and water lilies. We rolled down and down together until there was nothing above but stars, and nothing but his body below. Then he left with the autumn leaves. The plains of my heart crunching under the boots walking away.
A year of seasons passed me by. And still another before a cold winter kissed the window panes with snowflakes and fire-side smiles healed my heart for someone as new as the green of spring.
The stirring of my blood for Edward, where we twined around and within each other, was replaced by Garrett's easy smile and eager steadfastness. Moments lost in the embers of daily life were made up in comfortable contentment.
And he's what I never knew I needed. Routine for a displaced soul like mine.
XxxxxxxX
A/N:
Rambles from my head to yours.
xoxo