Author's Note: I did a little research on point of view, and I have decided to do something different from what I typically do. Usually I write in third-person limited, which means I write "he said, he thought" etc, from one character's POV at a time. Then I might do a line break or a chapter break and switch to another character. For this story, I really want to try doing BOTH Beckett and Castle's POV at the same time. It's not necessarily widely used in the published world, but I did find something called Mixed Point of View, so I am going to kind of try that here. I'd be interested to hear what you think on this.
Spoilers: "Rise" 4x01 – This story takes place a few months after the season four premiere.
Summary: The secrets that they've been keeping from each other finally come to light.
Disclaimer: The characters of Castle to do not belong to me. I am only borrowing them for a short time.
Richard Castle nearly fell on his ass as the door to his loft slammed against the wall, and then bounced back, the hinges squeaking against the abuse. The hands that had shoved his chest, pushed him backwards, were strong… and pissed off.
"Jesus, Beckett," he grunted, as he danced awkwardly, trying to catch his footing.
"How could you, Castle?" she yelled, the octave of her voice very near a screech. The anger in her chest was bubbling, frothing like a volcano. "How could you do this to me?"
She moved to shove him again, but he found his feet and side-stepped her, grabbing her elbow as he did.
"Alexis is upstairs." His voice was low and tight with resignation.
That knocked Kate back a step, and she glanced towards the stairs. Guilt gnawed at her for a moment, but she took a deep breath, and pushed it aside, settling her piercing gaze on his.
"Fine," she ground out through gritted teeth and a clamped jaw. "Go," she said and pushed him towards his office.
Castle stepped behind her and quietly closed the door to his loft. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a soft sigh as he walked back around her and through the door to his office. He knew what was coming and he wasn't ready for it. He hadn't wanted his secret to come to light yet… if ever. He continued through the office and into his bedroom.
Kate swallowed, taken aback by the thought of doing this in his room. The intimacy of that stunned her for a moment. But he was right, of course, because his office wasn't exactly a closed off space, not with the open bookshelves. And they needed privacy for this.
She followed him.
Once she stepped inside, he closed the door behind him and turned to her. His chin dipped toward his chest and he stared at the floor. "How did you find out?"
"Officer Ramirez from the records room called me."
"Shit," he muttered and palmed his face, scrubbing hard at the stubble that was starting to grow there. "She wasn't supposed to talk to you. I didn't even know you knew each other."
"Yeah, well, we're not exactly 'besties', Castle, but we have a mutual respect for each other. She called me and told me that you were digging around in some of Raglan's old case files. She wanted to make sure they were for a case we were working on, because apparently that's what you said they were for, that you'd just run down to pick up some files for me…"
"She gave me the files." He was surprised at that, now that he knew Kate had talked to the officer.
"Yes, Castle, because I told her to. I didn't want to throw up any red flags and let her know you were going behind my back. Gates would have a field day with you! She would gleefully fire you if she found out what you were doing."
"I—"
She steamrolled over him, not letting him get an excuse in. "You do realize, Castle, that you're not even supposed to have access to those records. You're not actually a cop, you can't just go around doing whatever—"
They were cut off by a knock at the door, and then from the other side, they heard a tentative, "Dad?"
Castle's eyes met Kate's. An entire book of silent words passed between them.
Kate's stomach plummeted. Great. She dragged her fingers through her hair in frustration and then dropped to sit on the edge of his bed as he turned to open the door for Alexis.
Castle stepped outside the room, pulling the door behind him. He didn't close it; just left his hand on the knob with the door cracked open slightly so Kate could hear what they said. He wasn't sure why, although he thought maybe it was to punish Kate somehow.
For dragging his daughter into this.
His beautiful, innocent daughter, who didn't want him to shadow Kate anymore, who didn't want him to be in the line of fire every day. His daughter who he had put second to Kate on this.
And then he realized he was punishing Kate for that, just a little. He loved her, God, he loved her so much it hurt, but loving her came with a price. One he was willing to pay, to stay by her side, to keep her safe. But, he discovered, he had some animosity towards that price.
He didn't want to have to pay to love her.
But he would, over and over again.
His daughter broke him from his thoughts. "Is everything okay? I – I heard Detective Beckett yelling."
Inside his room, Kate lowered her head into her hands and bit her lip to keep from screaming. A hurricane of emotions went raging through her: Guilt, anger, grief, frustration, unhappiness. She wanted to drop to the floor and throw a tantrum like a child, kicking and biting and screaming.
She just wanted it all to be over.
Kate's ears perked up when her partner answered his daughter.
"No, honey, everything's not okay, but… I'm going to fix—I'm going to try to fix it." Castle couldn't lie to her, not after everything they'd been through. Alexis knew how he felt about Kate, knew why he was doing what he was doing, even if she wasn't aware of all the details. "Just, trust me, okay, sweetheart?"
Alexis' blue eyes shone with worry, and something that looked like resignation. "Dad—"
"It'll be alright."
"Do you want some help?" Alexis asked, and continued on with a small grin before he could interrupt her. "You've trained me well, Master, what with all the karate and fencing classes. I could help kick some butt."
Kate heard the words through the door, loud and clear. And guilt won the race of her emotions. The fight drained out of her. What was she doing to this family? What right did she have to tear at them like this?
Castle chuckled at his daughter's words, and reached out to squeeze her hand. "I think I got this one. But remember to turn on your Jedi mind powers. I'll send you a message if I need some help."
Alexis grinned, and then leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Okay." She paused, nuzzled against him for just a moment, and then pulled back. "I'll be upstairs. Call if you need me."
"I will."
She turned to leave, and then— "Pumpkin?"
She shifted back to face him. "Hmm?"
"You're my number one, you know that, right?"
She smiled softly. "Yeah, Dad. I love you."
"Love you, too, Alexis."
And then she turned and left the room. Castle took a deep breath, steeling himself, before he entered his bedroom again. He closed the door behind him and faced his partner, who was looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face. He could see in the line of her slumped shoulder that the anger had left her. But what had taken its place was a mystery to him. So he waited her out.
"I'm sorry," Kate murmured finally, her brows furrowed. In that moment, she hated herself, hated her life, for all that she had become.
"Why?" he asked, surprise pouring out with the word.
"Because, I… I should have been more sensitive to the fact that she might be home and she might hear that."
A little spark of anger sizzled in him, because she did know better, she should have thought of that… but he doused it with reason. "You were angry, Beckett, it's fine."
She shook her head. "It's not, but I—" Kate rubbed her palms against her knees. She wanted to walk away, wanted to get the hell away from this. She didn't want to hurt him, didn't want to hurt his daughter with her problems anymore. But here they were. How many times had she tried to push him away and he just wouldn't go? And now… now she was in too deep. She couldn't go either.
"I'm sorry for what this has done to your family. But… you still shouldn't have gone behind my back on this."
She finally met his gaze.
He stood still, at a loss for words, not knowing how to explain to her what he had been trying to do. He knew that nothing he could say would make it okay, not in her mind. He was sure she would think of his actions as a betrayal.
"I did… I'm doing this to protect you, Kate."
And there it was, her anger, rushing back to the surface. He had no right to protect her from anything. She was a grown woman, a detective, for God's sake, and this was her life.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard a whisper of you know that's not true anymore, but she pushed it away, shoved it back, because she wanted the anger. Needed something to latch on to, to keep her afloat in this churning sea of emotions.
Kate stood up, leaning closer to him, her body vibrating with anger. "That's bullshit, Castle! I don't need you to protect me. This is my mother we're talking about here, not yours. This is my life you're playing games with, and I am so sick of having to tell you that. How many times do I have to say that for you to get it?"
He stepped closer to her, his anger growing by leaps and bounds as well. "No, Kate! That's bullshit! How many times do I have to prove myself to you? How many times do I have to stay here and fight this with you, for you to get it? That it's all for you. I'm doing this for you!"
She grabbed hold of one thing he said and ran away with it. "No, Castle, you're not fighting this with me, you're off on your own, running around like you're some kind of Goddamn superhero. Well, I have a newsflash for you, Castle, you're not!"
Castle snorted. "That's rich, Kate. The pot calling the kettle black. You're not a superhero either, yet you keep trying to be. And it almost got you killed!"
"And what are you? Invincible?" She scoffed. "No. You're an arrogant asshole, keeping things from me, going behind my back to fight my battles. For someone who says he loves me, that's sure a poor way of showing it!"
Castle went hot, and then cold all over. Betrayal slapped him in the face, and he shuddered with it.
Kate watched Castle's face blanch, leeched of all color. She stopped and her mind tripped over itself, trying to figure out what she had said to make him look like that.
And then she froze, and went as pale as he was.
Oh shit. Oh no. No, no, no.
What had she done?
"Castle—" All of the anger left her, like she had been doused with a bucket of ice water. "I didn't—"
"You heard me?" he asked, his face white, his eyes wide and dark. His voice was so low she could barely hear him. But she heard the hurt in his words, loud and clear, like a siren blasting in her ear.
"I—" She stumbled over her thoughts, unable to formulate anything solid.
His mouth opened and closed, but he couldn't find any words. All that he felt was emptiness, a numbness that overtook his entire being.
Castle walked to the small couch in the corner of his room, and sat heavily on the edge of it. He dropped his face into his hands and just sat there, breathing deeply through the wave of pain that was coursing through him. All this time, and she… She'd let him believe she hadn't heard him. She'd let him believe that they stood a chance, someday, once they solved her mother's case.
But maybe they didn't have a chance. Maybe that's what she was trying to tell him. Maybe that's what he refused to hear.
Kate made her way to the couch, and sat on the other end of it, putting some distance between them. She pulled her legs up onto the cushion and wrapped her arms around them. Then she pressed her eyes against her knees and pushed hard, watching the swirling lights pop up behind her lids.
She was some kind of idiot, spouting off that way, letting anything just pop out of her mouth without any thought behind it. That wasn't like her. She was normally so careful, especially around him, not to reveal too much. And this time, she'd revealed everything. And the hurt that was radiating off of him in powerful waves almost knocked her to the ground.
When she felt in control again, she turned her head, and looked at him. And said, once again, "I'm sorry." Her voice was a raspy whisper, rough with heartache.
"Why, Kate?" He didn't lift his head, just kept cradling it in his palms so he wouldn't have to look at her. "Why did you lie?"
She paused, trying to find the right words. She wouldn't fuck up this time. "When we had that conversation… The first time you saw me after I woke up in the hospital… I didn't… I didn't know what to do, Castle. I was broken. Everything that happened, everything I felt… it was all twisted up inside of me like… like cancer. And what you'd said, it only made things more complicated, more difficult. It was just another layer to the mess I found myself in." She breathed out a long sigh, taking her time. "So when I asked you for some time, it was because I needed to sort my life out, sort everything out. I was still with Josh at the time, and everything that had come to light after Montgomery died, after I was shot… I was in a bad place, Castle. And I couldn't handle what you'd said then. So I let you believe I didn't hear you."
He listened to her words, listened hard, trying to decipher the meaning behind every single syllable. And he hated it, because he understood. Because he knew her. Sometimes he wished he didn't, sometimes he wished he could just hold on to the pain, just let it hurt, and put the blame on her for awhile. But he was never very good at that. Not when it came to her.
"Why didn't you tell me later?" he asked quietly.
"I just… didn't know how. I still… There's still too much in the way…" she trailed off, unsure of how to explain it to him. She'd told him about the wall that was in place, and she knew he respected that. How else could she say it?
But he nodded, because he got it. He always understood her, always could read between the lines of what she said.
"Your mother's case," he murmured.
Kate turned her face back in to her knees. "Yeah."
"I'm… not sorry for what I did, Kate." And he wasn't. Maybe she wouldn't be able to accept that, but he wasn't sorry for trying to keep her safe. He couldn't be sorry for trying to protect the woman he loved.
He didn't want to know life without her in it. He had already come way too close to finding out what that might be like and he didn't want to go back there ever again.
"Okay," she whispered.
"You know part of it, Kate, part of the story behind it all. But there are some things you don't know."
"Tell me." She turned to him again, and he met her gaze, finally. When he didn't answer, she continued. "You can't hide it from me anymore, Castle. We're past that point now. And you know if you don't tell me, I'll find a way to figure it all out."
He nodded, and knew she would. She would turn on Detective Mode and figure everything out. "I came to you that day, and I told you that we would find your mother's killer, but that you needed to take some time to get your bearings."
Kate nodded back at him, remembering quite clearly. She had been amazed with him, that day, for knowing her so well. It always surprised her, even after all this time, that he knew what she needed, even when she herself didn't.
"And I meant that, Kate. You weren't 'fine' like you said you were. You weren't doing okay. I didn't want—I don't want to see you drown in this, to lose yourself to this. It's not healthy and it was going to get you killed, in an entirely different way than taking a bullet to the chest. You would have run yourself into the ground."
Kate swallowed, knowing he was right. It was why she went back to therapy, why she continued to talk to a psychologist, even now in her weekly sessions. It was something she had discussed with her doctor, and come to accept. She would have let it swallow her whole, if it hadn't been for Castle.
Castle was her lifeline.
"Even though all of that is true, Kate, that I felt those things… I had an ulterior motive." He winced, knowing this was going to be the hard part, the part where he might lose her.
Kate's gaze whipped to his, and her eyes flashed, once, before the anger simply died in her when she looked at him. He looked so rundown, so exhausted. The light in his eyes was doused.
"Spit it out, Castle," she said wearily, all of the fight gone out of her. She had done this to him, made him look like that.
"I received a phone call, during your first case back to work, from a man named Smith."
Kate snorted at that.
"I know, most generic name in the world. But he said he was a friend of Montgomery's, that he owed Montgomery his life."
Kate perked up at that, leaning towards Castle slightly. Her curiosity piqued, sparked in her belly. She felt the frisson run up her spine and her fingers curled, itching to work, to dive back into the case and finish it all.
"Montgomery sent him some files. Files that he received shortly after you were shot. I think Montgomery was using those files as leverage against the people trying to harm you. He was using them as leverage to keep his family safe, and to keep you safe. When he went after Lockwood, he sent those files to Smith, so that the leverage would remain in place after he… after he died. Smith is taking Montgomery's position in this whole… blackmail scheme, I guess you could call it."
"But Castle, who is this guy?" The need to know burned in her gut.
"I don't know, Kate, I just… I just know what he told me. He said that if the information in those files gets out, some powerful people would be hurt by it. So he arranged a deal, just like Montgomery had. But in order for you to stay safe, you cannot dig in to your mother's case. That was his one condition. He can only keep you safe if you stop."
Kate pushed up, standing once again as anger started to radiate through her. These people just kept pushing at her, knocking her back, and he wanted her to just sit down and let them. How could anyone expect her to just be a good girl and do what the bad guys said? That wasn't how she worked. "Castle, this is—"
"Just listen to me, Kate. For a minute, please." He stood up as well, his fingers circling her wrist gently.
She pressed her lips together and shuddered with the effort of reigning in her anger. Castle was only trying to keep her safe. It pissed her off, but she was starting to get that. He had lived through her 'death' before, and she knew it had affected him deeply. It would have done the same to her if their situations were reversed. So she held it together.
"That's why I asked you to take a step back for awhile. Because I do believe we can solve this. I think we can do this, but I needed to buy us some time. I needed them to think you were backing off. And then I went digging around myself, because I figured they wouldn't be looking at me. And if you weren't investigating, I could."
She tugged her arm out of his grip, and then funneled her fingers through her hair. "Castle, you can't keep this up. If they find out, they won't hesitate to hurt you, or kill you, or… do something to your family."
"Kate, they'll do the same thing to you. Hell, they already have."
"You have more to lose than I do. You have a kid, Castle. A wonderful daughter who needs you."
"Don't." He stopped her with the single, chilly word. He didn't want to talk about his daughter.
She startled at his reaction. She just needed him to understand—
"I know what I have, Kate. And what I stand to lose." Don't make me choose, he thought. He'd already had to fight Alexis on this, and had narrowly avoided having to make that choice. If she started in on him, too, he knew he would be forced to choose. And he didn't want that, because they all knew who he would pick. And he wasn't ready to give Kate up yet. He didn't ever want to have to give her up.
"Castle." Her voice was a whisper, filled with sadness and horror at what she was putting him through.
"Just, please, Kate. Don't. Drop it, okay?" His heart was pounding. He needed her to let this go.
She studied his face, saw the fear residing in his eyes. A lump settled in her throat and she had to blink a few times to keep his face clear. Then she dropped her chin towards her chest and shook her head. "Okay," she finally whispered.
She was only letting it go because she wasn't sure she could stand to watch him walk away.
A breath whooshed out of his lungs and his shoulders slumped, relaxing under her acquiescence. Thank God.
She lifted her head to look at him again. "Just promise me that you'll stop this, Castle. Don't do this alone." She wanted to get on her knees and beg him.
He didn't want to do it alone, but he didn't want her in danger, either. He couldn't stand to put her back there. "If you start investigating this again, Kate, you won't be safe."
"Neither are you."
They held each other's gazes for a few moments, silent words whispering between them. Both of them refused to acknowledge out loud what it would mean if they lost the other… but they could read it in each other's eyes.
"We have to do this together," Kate murmured, searching his midnight blue eyes for answers.
"I—"
"Castle. We can at least be each other's back-up."
"I know," he finally replied. He didn't have to like it, but he knew. He wouldn't be able to go behind her back anymore.
"We're partners, Castle, remember?" Her lips lifted in a slight smile. "So we do this together." Please. The word went unsaid.
"Okay." He wished they could stop. Wished they could put it behind them and move on. He wanted to grab her, throw her over his shoulder, and haul her off to a cave somewhere, where they could live in peace together. Where they would be safe. But he couldn't, because she couldn't. She'd built up that wall and it wasn't going anywhere until they put this to rest.
And he wanted to find out what was on the other side of that wall.
"We can't rush this," he said.
"I know," she replied.
"We need to figure out a plan." They needed to be smart about this. They needed a full-proof plan; a plan that wouldn't get her (or him) killed.
"I need you to tell me everything you've discovered so far."
"It's not much, Kate."
She almost rolled her eyes. "Castle," she said, in her best 'don't give me that'voice.
"Okay. I just… Right now?" He was so tired. He just wanted to lie down and close his eyes and block all of it out for the next few days. Or weeks. Or hell, even months.
He wasn't happy with the way this conversation had turned out. Granted, he had expected her to hate him, to cut him out of her life like she had the time he asked her to walk away. But she had stayed, and was still there, and that was good. He liked that part. But the direction this had gone did not please him. He wanted her away from all of this. And all of it… it just exhausted him. He was tired of trying to be strong.
Kate stopped and studied him. The lines around his eyes were deeper than before, and the light she usually found there was dull. His lips were pulled tight, and his shoulders were tense, as if he hadn't been able to relax in months. The drive to do this right now, to figure everything out right now, slipped away.
"No, Castle. Not… not right now."
She could see his muscles relax, inch by inch, as he took in her words. After a moment, he slumped down onto the edge of the bed. He rubbed his hands over his face, and she saw him struggling. He was fighting to hold on to the drive, to hold on to the need to do this.
She wanted to help him. She needed to give him something to hold onto, because she needed him to hold onto. So she stepped forward.
"Rick," she whispered as she moved closer to him, coming to stand between his knees.
He looked up at her, surprised by the softness in her tone, and the close proximity of her body. She smiled sadly at him, before reaching up to cup his cheek in her palm. She rubbed her thumb gently under his eye. And then she took one last step forward, curling her arm around his neck and pulling him into a hug.
Castle was shocked by her actions. She never let him get this close; she always stayed on her side of the wall. She… oh, Hell, he didn't care. He wrapped his arms tight around her waist and buried his face against her stomach.
And then let out a long, shuddering sigh.
She felt his warm breath through her shirt, and struggled not to shiver. Instead, she stroked her fingers through his hair, and her touch soothed him, allowed him to relax those last few muscles. She stood that way for a few moments, gently swaying with him.
At first he was relaxed, leaning against her, just holding on to the comfort she provided him. But he was Richard Castle, after all, and his mind would never go quiet. His thoughts started swirling, rolling out of control, and he thought back to that moment in grass, her blood spilling out of her from the hole where his cheek now rested. And this… holding her like this, caused all of the memories to come flooding back, because this is what he had wanted to do since she had almost died in his arms. He'd wanted to hold her again, alive and well, and just never let go.
Because she had almost died. He'd almost lost her. And it had been the scariest day of his life. It haunted him still, came to him in nightmares.
And sometimes, it came to him when he was awake, slammed into him like a sledgehammer. When she wasn't thinking about it, Kate would rub the heel of her hand over her sternum. Sometimes she would wince if she turned just the wrong way, as if the scar was too tight against the stretching. And every single time he saw something like that, it was like being hit by a car. It flattened him.
Like now. The memories were building up, shattering his control. He was starting to lose his breath, held against her like this. It was too much and not enough at the same time.
When the embrace started to feel like too much, too long, Kate started to pull away, but then she felt him trembling. Her brows pulled together and she looked down, but she couldn't see his face.
His cheek was pressed against her, and he was facing the floor, blocking her line of sight to his eyes.
"Castle, what's wrong?" Her heart tripped over itself as she felt his shudders increase, the vibrations sending shockwaves through her. She needed to see his face. She reached down to tilt him up, but he wouldn't budge.
He shook his head, and squeezed his arms around her even tighter. The lump in his throat wouldn't allow him to answer her.
"Castle?" There was a little bit of panic in her voice now, because she didn't know what to do with him. She didn't know how to comfort him, because she'd never seen him like this before. She was always the one who fell apart, and he was the one who was always there to catch her.
Castle couldn't speak, couldn't look at her, couldn't do this. He was going to fall apart if she didn't stop, if she didn't give him a minute.
And of course, she didn't. She pulled back from him, but simply slid to her knees on the floor, so she could look at his face. He ducked away from her, trying to hide. He just needed a minute. One damn minute, where he could dig deep, find his calm, and grab hold of it with both fists and never let go. Then he could be in control again.
But of course, she reached up, lifting his face with her palms against his jaw.
"Look at me," she whispered, her voice thick with concern. She needed to see his eyes, needed to read the silent words that would be showing there, laid out for her to see.
She watched his throat as he swallowed, and then ducked her head, trying to find his gaze. He kept refusing her, so she used the last tool in her arsenal. "Rick."
And then his eyes met hers, and they were full, wet and shining with unshed tears, and hundreds of emotions. She saw the need there, and the horror. She saw the sadness, and the desperation. And under it all, was a thick layer of love.
A look of pain stole across her face, and her eyebrows furrowed. "Oh, Castle," she whispered, and leaned her forehead against his. She wished, somehow, that she could stop him from hurting. That her life wouldn't cause him all of this agony. But she didn't know how to do that. Even if she walked away, tried to find a way out of his life, it would hurt him. But staying, being in his life… that hurt him, too. Because he was in love with her, and she couldn't give that back to him. Not yet. Not with all of this swirling around them.
He blinked once and a tear fell from each of his eyes. "Dammit," he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. He reached up and wiped at his cheeks, trying to get rid of the evidence. "I'm sorry."
He could see the angst in her eyes, could see that she was struggling to watch him like this, and he didn't want to make it worse for her. He didn't want her to be in pain, just because he was.
He could do this—he could turn it off and find his control. He would do it for her.
Her thumbs joined his fingers, and she helped him wipe at the moisture. "Don't," she murmured. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."
He shook his head and tried to look away again, but she pulled him back to her. She wouldn't let him escape, wouldn't let him find control.
"Rick," she tried again, because it always seemed to get his attention. He looked deep into her eyes, and she stared at him, hoping to convey her feelings through her gaze. She loved him with an ache she felt deep in her chest. But it wasn't time for them, not yet. But maybe… maybe she could give him a taste of the future.
Maybe she could give him something to hold onto during the storm he was battling.
Slowly, she lowered her lips toward his, giving him ample time to pull away if he wanted. She saw his eyes widen a fraction, but he didn't pull back, merely waited on her. This was her move, she realized, and he was going to let her make it… or not make it. It was up to her.
God, she loved him.
She pushed forward that last little bit, and grazed her lips slowly against his. Just a brush, a softness that was barely there. But he pressed forward a little, returning her kiss, giving it back to her.
They swayed there, together, lips brushing softly, neither of them taking the kiss any deeper. It wasn't time for that, it wasn't about that. This was about comfort, and it was a promise for the future.
It was something for them both to hold onto. It was hope.
After a moment she pulled her lips back from his, but left her forehead resting against his. Their breaths mingled together, warm puffs of air against each other's faces. It soothed her, the feel of him so close. She was tired of denying that.
Castle wanted to dance. He wanted to jump up, pull her in his arms, and twirl her around to the music he could hear in his head. She was… everything. Everything he wanted, everything he needed. And she'd just promised him something with that kiss.
And now, he suddenly had the control. He had it back, because she'd given him strength. She'd given him hope that there was a 'them,' that there was a reason for going through all of this. Because in the end, when they brought her mother's killer to justice… they would still have each other.
Kate smiled at him, having seen the play of relief and happiness in his eyes. He was back. Castle was back. And that gave her the strength to be Detective Beckett again.
She reached up and gently brushed his lower lip with her thumb.
"Hi," she said quietly, shyly.
"Hey," he replied, and there was a chuckle under his words. "You sure know how to cheer a guy up, Beckett."
She chuckled then, and leaned back, disentangling herself from him. They were 'them' again, so she had the strength to step back. "Thanks, Castle. I'll keep that in mind next time you're being a baby." She got to her feet.
"Hey!" he protested. "That's not cool, Beckett. That was just mean—"
An idea struck her out of nowhere, and Castle stopped suddenly when her palm flew out, nearly smacking him in the nose.
"Wait," she uttered, and her face took on a serious look. "What if we're going about this the wrong way, Castle?" She started to move, started to pace, as if her thoughts would flow faster if she were moving.
"What do you mean?" he asked warily when he realized they were back to talking about the case. His eyes tracked her as she mapped out a back and forth pattern on the hardwood floor.
"I think I know a way we can do this, but stay out of the line of fire for awhile." Her eyes flew to his.
Hope sprang up inside of him, and the wheels in his head started spinning as he tried to catch up to her. "How?"
"Smith," she said simply, waiting on him to connect the dots.
His eyes widened. "Smith!" he exclaimed. "We need to investigate Smith!"
"Exactly." She smiled, crossing her arms over her chest, a smug smile on her lips. "If we can figure out what he has to do with this, who he was to Montgomery, maybe we can track him. And if we can track him, we can talk to him. And if we can talk to him, maybe we can figure out a way to stop this… with his help."
"Excellent, Beckett! And if we're tracking him, nobody is going to care and come after us. I'm in!"
"So what do you know about this guy?"
His shoulders slumped as his excitement deflated. "Next to nothing," he admitted.
"Castle, think. We know he was friends with Montgomery, that something happened between the two of them where Montgomery saved him – something that he would owe Montgomery for. Maybe we can talk to Montgomery's wife, see if she knows anything about that. And do you know when he called? Do you know exactly when he called?"
"Yes. I mean, I can't remember the exact date off the top of my head, but all I'd need to do was look at a calendar. It was a few days after you were back at the precinct."
"And how does one person call another?"
His eyebrows crinkled. "Uh… with a phone?" he asked, as if it were obvious. And then, "Oh God, with a phone! We can call the phone company and see if we can figure out where the call originated from."
"Yup."
"Beckett, you're a genius!"
"So I've been told a time or two," she said, pursing her lips to hold back a smug smile.
But it didn't escape him. He saw the sparkle in her eyes, the miniscule lift at the corner of her lips. He grinned. Everything was right in the world again. They had made it through another battle.
"Come on, Detective. Let's go detect."
End Note: I actually REALLY like this fic. And it's my longest Castle stand-alone so far. So I would LOVE to hear your thoughts. Review, please? :)