I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS

Leaf Village Scoudrels

Naruto sat in the classroom with the rest of his classmates as they all waited for their jonin instructors when he was noticed by Shikamaru Nara who had just woken up from a nap.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked. "I thought your stupid ass failed."

"First," Naruto replied. "Fuck you. Second, I got this because I'm a real shinobi."

"Please," Choji said eating a bag of chips. "The only reason you got that is because you told on Mizuki, you fuckin' snitch."

"Whatever, fat ass," Naruto replied coldly. "I got this because I kicked his ass and I'd kick yours but I don't have all day."

Choji put his bag of chips down and began fighting with Naruto as their classmates watched.

"Kick his ass, Choji," Ino shouted.

"Fuck him up, Naruto," Hinata shouted.

As they fought, Iruka came in with the group of Jonin.

"Hey!" he shouted to get their attention. "Sit your asses down, now!"

They all took their seats and Hinata found a special one for her as she sat in Naruto's lap.

"I've got an idea," she whispered in his ear. "How's about we go somewhere and do it to celebrate us being on the same team together?"

"Hinata, we're twelve," he replied. "We don't even know what "it" is, yet. Plus, we don't even know if we're going to be on the same team yet."

"They'd better, I bribed them good money to ma…" she stopped as she noticed he wasn't paying attention.

She found that his attention was being paid to Sakura sitting next to Sasuke.

"This bitch again?" she asked. "Why do you like her anyway?"

Naruto was just quiet until they both got a surprise.

"Kurenai Yuhi's team will consist of Kiba Inuzuka…" Iruka said.

"Fuckin' right!" Kiba shouted. "Our sensei's hot."

"…Shino Aburame and Hinata Hyuuga."

"Son of bitch!" she shouted.

"Hey, shut the fuck up and follow your jonin outside," Iruka instructed. "That goes for everyone whose name I called."

As she left with her new team, she noticed that there were two other students left with Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke.

"Damn it," she thought. "At least one of her doesn't like him back."

The trio waited in the classroom for hours on end until their jonin showed up.

"I guess I drew the short straw," he said poking his head in. "Well, my name is Kakashi Hatake."

"Kakashi?" Naruto asked picking his head up from the desk.

"Oh, hey, kid," he said recognizing the son of his mentor. "I didn't see you back there."

"Greeting's sensei," Sakura said politely. "My name is…"

"Yeah, I can already see that I don't care enough to remember," Kakashi cut her off. "So from now on, you'll be You and, uh, Girl."

"Cha!" Sakura shouted as she got out of her seat with a different personality. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

She attacked him and he easily subdued her.

"That's right, they did say the kunoichi in my team had multiple personalities," Kakashi remembered. "Well, whomever I'm talking to, right now, try that again and I'll make the only mission you'll be going on are the ones that do not require walking as a skill."

He let her go and she went back to her seat as he began to address them.

"Now meet me at the training grounds tomorrow morning and don't eat breakfast."

"Why not?" Sakura asked.

"You don't shut up, do you? Because I said so."

Naruto left the school and went to the place he usually did at this time of day, the Leaf Village prison to visit his father, Minato Namikaze.

"How's it going?" Naruto asked him.

"Son, I hate prison," he replied. "Prison sucks."

Naruto gave his father's words some thought and came up with a response.

"I reckon it's supposed to," Naruto answered.

"Anyway," Minato said getting to matters. "Whose team are you on?"

"Kakashi's."

"Good, good, he'll look after you until Jiraiya gets here."

"You talk about him all the time," Naruto said curiously. "I know he's your master but is he that good?"

"He'll show you if he ever comes back, the Hokage sent people out to search for him but that's the funny thing about being a legendary shinobi."

"What?"

"If you don't want to be found," Minato said with a smile on his face. "You won't be."

They continued to speak until visiting hours were over, before the guards took Minato back to his cell, he asked Naruto the same question he always did.

"You still believe me, don't you?"

"Yeah, dad," Naruto replied. "I know you didn't kill mom."

With a smile, they parted ways until the next time Naruto was allowed to visit. While Naruto went to visit his father, Hinata headed home after meeting her team for the first time. She was met with her father who disapproved of just about everything she did from her general lack of interest in being a shinobi and clan matters to her interest in Naruto who had become somewhat of a delinquent since the incident with his parents.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"Who cares?" she replied.

He let out a sigh of frustration and shook his head.

"Listen here, you'd better shape up and fly right. You're supposed to be the next leader of this clan and I will not see it run into the ground by the harlot you're growing up to be. You're a disgrace to our family name."

"You here that, sister?" she mockingly asked Hanabi. "Don't follow in my footsteps."

She flipped him a mental finger and left for her room, along the way, she passed by the only people in her clan that she could stand, Hizashi Hyuuga and his son, Neji."

"Cousin, Uncle."

"How are you, Lady Hinata?" they asked formally as they bowed.

"Don't call me that," she said. "I'm no more a lady than you two are Hyuuga."

Hizashi just smiled at his plain speaking niece.

"You're wise beyond your years."

"Yeah, well, having an asshole for a father smartens you up quickly."

"Don't I know it," Neji said playfully earning a smack to the back of the head.

"Well, I'm going to my room," she said. "Bye."

"Bye."

They watched her leave and prepared themselves to meet with Lord Hiashi.

"Are you ready, son?"

"Yes, father."

As they met him, they both put on straight faces as they paid him their respects.

"Lord Hyuuga," they said while they cursed his name in their heads.

Meanwhile, Naruto was at Ichiraku with Iruka, they spoke as their ramen was being prepared.

"Listen, Naruto, you're a shinobi now, so that shit you pulled back at the academy is not going to fly anymore, got it?"

"Whatever," Naruto said. "You guys just set the missions up and I'll knock 'em down."

"Here 'ya go," Teuchi said. "Two bowls of Miso."

"Shit, took you long enough," Naruto complained.

"Hey, fuck you, kid," Teuchi said. "You're lucky I don't start charging your ass for all the free ramen I've given you over the years being that you're a shinobi now."

"Ungrateful brat," Ayame added.

Time went on and Naruto's team was officially formed and begun their missions, they were mostly D-Ranked Missions consisting of simple shakedowns of the minor villages and collecting the money that the hokage was extorting from the Land of Fire's Daimyo until Naruto go a little weary of things and forced Kakashi to pay a visit to the hokage's office. They stood in front of him while he had a blank expression on his face.

"We're…" Naruto began before he was cut off.

"Did I say speak yet?" the hokage asked.

They remained silent but could hear a slurping sound coming from behind his desk, a few minutes later, the hokage let out a soft grunt. He slouched down in his chair as Anko got up from behind his desk.

"That's one D-Ranked mission," she said as she wiped her mouth.

The hokage gave her the money he owed her and she left passing by Team 7.

"I'll see you later," she said to Kakashi as she gently grabbed his crotch.

"It'll be more than a D-Rank mission," he said.

"Ooh, my pussy just jumped," she smiled at him before turning her attention to his two male students. "And maybe I'll see you two in a few years."

Angered, Sakura took out a kunai ready to attack her from behind while she left until she was stopped by the hokage turning his attentions to them.

"What do you want?"

"First, let me say that I had nothing to do with this," Kakashi said to cover his own ass.

"Boy, what the fuck do you want?"

"We're tired of this crap," Naruto said. "We want to go on a real mission."

"Yeah," Sasuke said. "How else am I going to earn my family's freedom?"

"That makes three of us," Sakura said with a sweet smile before it changed into a sneer as other personality took over. "So let us go on a real fuckin' mission!"

"Okay, I've got just the thing for you," the hokage said.

They got their mission which was bodyguard work for a bridge builder from the Land of Waves, along the way, they had a couple of run ins with a missing-nin from the Village Hidden in The Mist, Zabuza Momochi, and his protégé, Haku. As they clashed, Kakashi and Zabuza began to admire the ruthlessness with which the other fought.

"I gotta ask you, Copy Ninja," Zabuza said. "Does everyone in your village fight as you do?"

"I'm actually one the nicer guys in my village."

"In that case, I think I'm gonna like it there," he said putting his sword away. "Haku, come here."

Haku rejoined Zabuza after taking down his Crystal Ice Mirrors Jutsu.

"What is it?"

"Change of plans, we're joining up with these Leaf Shinobi."

They completed their mission and returned to the Leaf Village where Kakashi presented the hokage with two new prospective members.

"Lord Hiruzen, this is…"

"Zabuza Momochi," the hokage said. "I've heard of you and your attempt to take over the Mist Village. Unfortunately that failure was just a matter of poor planning, try that here and it won't be poor planning that causes you to fail, it'll be me breaking your neck. Other than that, welcome to the village, we could always use a dirty son of a bitch like you."

Two weeks later, after passing the first two rounds and the third round preliminaries of the chunin exams, Naruto finally meets Jiraiya as he was training.

"So, you're Minato's kid huh?"

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto asked.

"I'm Lord Jiraiya," he said. "I just got word about your father."

"So, you're supposed to be looking after me, huh? What's so special about you?"

Within an instant, Jiraiya closed the distance between them and punched Naruto in the forehead showing a small portion of his ablities.

"Ahh, bitch," Naruto said holding his forehead. "I didn't even see you."

"And I'm not even known for my speed. Now, let's go meet your father."

MESSAGE FROM lulamaemobster

REMEMBER, EVERYONE, THOSE ARE THE GOOD GUYS. I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS ON "THE VILLAGE HIDDEN ON THE OTHER SIDE," THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. ALSO, I PUNKED OUT ON THE PRETTY PAINFUL/ANGEL BLADE CROSSOVER, I COULDN'T MAKE IT WORK IN MY HEAD AND IT CREEPED ME OUT MORE AND MORE. MY WHOLE RATIONALE WAS IF I COULD MAKE THAT WORK THEN I'M PRETTY GOOD AT LEAST BUT NO. PRETTY PAINFUL WILL BE BACK IN A MURDER MYSTERY CALLED "RIDERS ON THE STORM." OH, AND THE ULTIMATE ALLIANCE WILL BE BACK TOMORROW, WHICH IS 12/28/09 AS OF NOW.

SEE 'YA, SPACE COWBOY. BANG!