I love summer days. The beauty, the essence, the innocence of the days. I'm different like that. Most lover winter and the autumn weather. My friends particularly love everything but the summer. You see, I'm not a normal person. I love to walk outside in my over alls and sit on my swing. If there was a choice I'd love to take a book with me everywhere. I love to feel the end of spring and the beginning of summer all around me. There's nothing wonderful about me. My red-auburn hair in curls, swings back into my green almond shaped eyes. Sure many think it's all wonderful; flower and roses, is what my mum calls it. But I don't like it. It's because of those things I attracted the attention of so many. Of him.
My abnormality is the cause of everything. The cause of my sister hating me. The cause of me being loved by my parents, teachers, and friends. The reason why I have those friends. And the reason I found that boy. You see, I was never a child that was easily pleased. I had split personalities, depending on the day. Some days I'm laid back, well, most days I am. Other days, anything can annoy me. Those are usually around exam time. Or when boys are around. Especially him.
I've always wondered why I was loved. I know it's dumb to say, and you certainly cannot ask someone why they love you. But it doesn't stop me from wondering. How did I receive such love from so many people? How?! Where did it come from? Why is it there? Why, when I was eleven and foolish, was I able to receive friends that stick by me? Why, when I was always talking and never listening, did I deserve understanding parents? But why, when I can't stand the sight of him, why did I get blessed with that boy? With him?
It's because I'm strange. That's why I have that love, and that attention. It's why he looks at me instead of continuing on his way. If I wasn't what I am, I would have nothing. I know you're probably wondering what I'm talking about. Why am I so upset? Or why am I calling myself strange? It all started when I was eleven. I didn't expect it. Sure, I'd always dream about it. But it was nothing compared to what really happened. I woke up the a scream and stumbled down the stairs mumbling words I'm not even sure exist. My older sister was running about and my father was laughing, ever so slightly.
As I walked into the room I wasn't quite sure what happened. But the cause of the commotion was an owl. A tawny owl, at eleven o'clock in the morning. It was carrying a letter of parchment. A letter to me. As my mother read it outloud, my father's coffee mug fell to the floor and broke. I would have dropped anything I was holding at that moment; if only I was holding something. I had received a letter about... magic. Real magic. And not just that, but a school of magic. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was a witch.
My life started and ended there. My sister, Petunia, refused to talk to me, look at me, hell be in the same room as me. It started off as a difficult thing for me. But when I turned twelve it wasn't. I had gone to school for a year, met extraordinary teachers, ghosts, and friends. But I had also made enemies. My friends were the girls in my year in my house; Gryffindor. They were all taller and quiet. But I had an opinion about everything. I read my school textbooks way before we even go to school. I was dying to try magic. So was everyone else. People played tricks and pranks on each other. I barely played any. But when I did they were remembered. I got pranks played on me. By him.
We were young and stupid then, but it never stopped. Until sixth year. We'd always fight, yell and try to beat each other. He wanted to be the best at everything and he wanted me to acknowledge it. And I wouldn't. He'd have girlfriend after girlfriend. Having more girlfriends in two months than I'd have boyfriends in my whole sixth years there. It's not like nobody liked me. Oh, contrary. It's that he was a player, a man whore, a womanizer.
That was until sixth year. Everything changed sixth year. For him and for me. I'll be blunt. I changed from a going-to-be-woman, to an all-out-woman. My B's were now CC's. I no longer wore braces, and spent all my time working on school work. I became more social then I ever had before. Though I rarely dated. He stopped dating a lot. He became some what more mature. He was me differently. He didn't see me as an enemy and he acknowledge it. When I changed, he competition were friendly and flirtations. He gradually started to be nicer as the sixth year came to a close. He admitted it to me on the last day of school.
He told me why his stares were longing. Why he no longer taunted me, or yelled at me. Why he no longer wanted to hurt me. Why he'd rather see my smile than my red-faced anger. No longer did I wonder why his friends would laugh at him when I walked by. No longer did I try to figure out why his friends would laugh at him when I walked by. No longer did I try to figure out why he'd open doors for me, and defend my background, family and friends. No longer did he make me wonder why he didn't look at other girls. He let me know why he was always blushing when I looked at him. He let me know why he looked saddened when I went to Hogsmeade with a guy. He let me know why he no longer picked fights and hurt people's feelings. Because I was hurting his. Every time I yelled or walked away, he told me it was like his heart was being stomped on. He loved me.
That's against the rules! He's not aloud to all in love with me! We had a contract. Though it wasn't physical we knew where each other stood. What I did to him didn't effect him and vice versa. Being around each other would not make a good day bad, or a bad day worse. It was nothing like that. We just ignored each other when we were having a bad day. When our days were normal, were were at each others throats. Then what did he have to do? He went and fell for me. Full out, he told me! He loved me.
I remember how it happened. It still stays in my dreams, sickening them, making me wake up in cold sweat. Did he do this on purpose? I stared at him in disbelief. It was not possible. He couldn't love, he didn't know how. At least that's what I thought. When I stepped off of the Hogwarts Express, I sighed. Sure I would miss Hogwarts, but I loved to be at my home for the summer. And that's when I learned it! I learned that people change their mind. Maybe not their actions, but their minds. It was then when my mind went blank. I looked past his muscular body, unruly black hair, and straight into his hazel eyes. Big mistake. James Potter was in love. He loved me.
"Hi, Lily," he said, calling my Lily for the first time ever.
"What do you want Potter? I'd really like to go home," I turned to walk away when I noticed it. My hand was in his. His expression was not sad, depressed or happy... it was determined.
"Let go of my hand, Potter."
"Please call me James." I looked at him exasperated.
"It's not an offer," I snapped.
"Please Lily, don't do this to me."
"What are you talking about?" I asked confused, though I stopped myself from calling him Potter.
"There's something I have to say."
"You've said enough!" I barked, looking for my parents. "No," he said pulling me closer to him, much to my dismay. "I want to take back every bad thing I've ever said. I want to start over."
"We can't start over you great prat. Now let me go!" I said pulling away. His hand held on.
"There's something that's killing me, Lily. There's something that's eating away at my soul. Crushing my lungs, breaking my heart." I stared blankly at him. "It's you."
"What--" I felt my mouth go dry.
"Whenever I see you, I--I can't do anything right. I can't think about anything but you. I've..." he paused for a moment. Everything seemed to stop. What was he talking about?
"I--" he silenced me.
"Whenever I see you with another guy I feel awful. Like I want to jump off the north tower. I--I love you." I felt my temper rise.
"Whoever dared you to say that can go to hell!" I screamed trying to break free again.
"Lily I--" he dropped my hand and I looked up at him, frozen in the spot. And then I saw it. In his eyes, it was everywhere... He loved me.
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: I'll post more of my other stories when I can... I have to thank you all... and I want to thank angelbud2233! My best friend, ever! She is so nice! My best buddy from Colorado! Please read her fics! And read our double fic if you love DRAMA... total drama: Unknown Marauders! It's a great fic and we have plans, right, bud? lol I hope you liked this fic... and I think I'm going to post the rest of Never Let it... then I'll move from fic to fic. SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!!! But... on the bright side my sister is coming home this week for spring break and I plan on posting a bunch. Once again, READ ANGELBUD2233 'S FICS!! RIGHT NOW!! GO DO IT!! :-D
My abnormality is the cause of everything. The cause of my sister hating me. The cause of me being loved by my parents, teachers, and friends. The reason why I have those friends. And the reason I found that boy. You see, I was never a child that was easily pleased. I had split personalities, depending on the day. Some days I'm laid back, well, most days I am. Other days, anything can annoy me. Those are usually around exam time. Or when boys are around. Especially him.
I've always wondered why I was loved. I know it's dumb to say, and you certainly cannot ask someone why they love you. But it doesn't stop me from wondering. How did I receive such love from so many people? How?! Where did it come from? Why is it there? Why, when I was eleven and foolish, was I able to receive friends that stick by me? Why, when I was always talking and never listening, did I deserve understanding parents? But why, when I can't stand the sight of him, why did I get blessed with that boy? With him?
It's because I'm strange. That's why I have that love, and that attention. It's why he looks at me instead of continuing on his way. If I wasn't what I am, I would have nothing. I know you're probably wondering what I'm talking about. Why am I so upset? Or why am I calling myself strange? It all started when I was eleven. I didn't expect it. Sure, I'd always dream about it. But it was nothing compared to what really happened. I woke up the a scream and stumbled down the stairs mumbling words I'm not even sure exist. My older sister was running about and my father was laughing, ever so slightly.
As I walked into the room I wasn't quite sure what happened. But the cause of the commotion was an owl. A tawny owl, at eleven o'clock in the morning. It was carrying a letter of parchment. A letter to me. As my mother read it outloud, my father's coffee mug fell to the floor and broke. I would have dropped anything I was holding at that moment; if only I was holding something. I had received a letter about... magic. Real magic. And not just that, but a school of magic. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was a witch.
My life started and ended there. My sister, Petunia, refused to talk to me, look at me, hell be in the same room as me. It started off as a difficult thing for me. But when I turned twelve it wasn't. I had gone to school for a year, met extraordinary teachers, ghosts, and friends. But I had also made enemies. My friends were the girls in my year in my house; Gryffindor. They were all taller and quiet. But I had an opinion about everything. I read my school textbooks way before we even go to school. I was dying to try magic. So was everyone else. People played tricks and pranks on each other. I barely played any. But when I did they were remembered. I got pranks played on me. By him.
We were young and stupid then, but it never stopped. Until sixth year. We'd always fight, yell and try to beat each other. He wanted to be the best at everything and he wanted me to acknowledge it. And I wouldn't. He'd have girlfriend after girlfriend. Having more girlfriends in two months than I'd have boyfriends in my whole sixth years there. It's not like nobody liked me. Oh, contrary. It's that he was a player, a man whore, a womanizer.
That was until sixth year. Everything changed sixth year. For him and for me. I'll be blunt. I changed from a going-to-be-woman, to an all-out-woman. My B's were now CC's. I no longer wore braces, and spent all my time working on school work. I became more social then I ever had before. Though I rarely dated. He stopped dating a lot. He became some what more mature. He was me differently. He didn't see me as an enemy and he acknowledge it. When I changed, he competition were friendly and flirtations. He gradually started to be nicer as the sixth year came to a close. He admitted it to me on the last day of school.
He told me why his stares were longing. Why he no longer taunted me, or yelled at me. Why he no longer wanted to hurt me. Why he'd rather see my smile than my red-faced anger. No longer did I wonder why his friends would laugh at him when I walked by. No longer did I try to figure out why his friends would laugh at him when I walked by. No longer did I try to figure out why he'd open doors for me, and defend my background, family and friends. No longer did he make me wonder why he didn't look at other girls. He let me know why he was always blushing when I looked at him. He let me know why he looked saddened when I went to Hogsmeade with a guy. He let me know why he no longer picked fights and hurt people's feelings. Because I was hurting his. Every time I yelled or walked away, he told me it was like his heart was being stomped on. He loved me.
That's against the rules! He's not aloud to all in love with me! We had a contract. Though it wasn't physical we knew where each other stood. What I did to him didn't effect him and vice versa. Being around each other would not make a good day bad, or a bad day worse. It was nothing like that. We just ignored each other when we were having a bad day. When our days were normal, were were at each others throats. Then what did he have to do? He went and fell for me. Full out, he told me! He loved me.
I remember how it happened. It still stays in my dreams, sickening them, making me wake up in cold sweat. Did he do this on purpose? I stared at him in disbelief. It was not possible. He couldn't love, he didn't know how. At least that's what I thought. When I stepped off of the Hogwarts Express, I sighed. Sure I would miss Hogwarts, but I loved to be at my home for the summer. And that's when I learned it! I learned that people change their mind. Maybe not their actions, but their minds. It was then when my mind went blank. I looked past his muscular body, unruly black hair, and straight into his hazel eyes. Big mistake. James Potter was in love. He loved me.
"Hi, Lily," he said, calling my Lily for the first time ever.
"What do you want Potter? I'd really like to go home," I turned to walk away when I noticed it. My hand was in his. His expression was not sad, depressed or happy... it was determined.
"Let go of my hand, Potter."
"Please call me James." I looked at him exasperated.
"It's not an offer," I snapped.
"Please Lily, don't do this to me."
"What are you talking about?" I asked confused, though I stopped myself from calling him Potter.
"There's something I have to say."
"You've said enough!" I barked, looking for my parents. "No," he said pulling me closer to him, much to my dismay. "I want to take back every bad thing I've ever said. I want to start over."
"We can't start over you great prat. Now let me go!" I said pulling away. His hand held on.
"There's something that's killing me, Lily. There's something that's eating away at my soul. Crushing my lungs, breaking my heart." I stared blankly at him. "It's you."
"What--" I felt my mouth go dry.
"Whenever I see you, I--I can't do anything right. I can't think about anything but you. I've..." he paused for a moment. Everything seemed to stop. What was he talking about?
"I--" he silenced me.
"Whenever I see you with another guy I feel awful. Like I want to jump off the north tower. I--I love you." I felt my temper rise.
"Whoever dared you to say that can go to hell!" I screamed trying to break free again.
"Lily I--" he dropped my hand and I looked up at him, frozen in the spot. And then I saw it. In his eyes, it was everywhere... He loved me.
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: I'll post more of my other stories when I can... I have to thank you all... and I want to thank angelbud2233! My best friend, ever! She is so nice! My best buddy from Colorado! Please read her fics! And read our double fic if you love DRAMA... total drama: Unknown Marauders! It's a great fic and we have plans, right, bud? lol I hope you liked this fic... and I think I'm going to post the rest of Never Let it... then I'll move from fic to fic. SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!!! But... on the bright side my sister is coming home this week for spring break and I plan on posting a bunch. Once again, READ ANGELBUD2233 'S FICS!! RIGHT NOW!! GO DO IT!! :-D