It was a warm, ice-cream melting day in Cairo, Egypt.

The Stardust Crusaders sit around in their hotel.

Noriaki Kakyoin leans against the window, and asks himself "Where in the flying fuck is Polnareff?"

Jotaro glared at him, silently judging him.
"Dude I wish I had fruit earrings, can you imagine having oranges hanging down from your earlobes? Holy shit why aren't we funding this? How am I speaking perfect English?"

Kakyoin grabbed Jotaro by the collar and exclaimed "JOTARO YOU BIG SMELLY DICK HELP ME FIND THIS FRENCH ASSHOLE SO WE CAN GO KILL THIS GAY VAMPIRE"

"Oi, Kakyoin!" Joseph yelled out, "Relax, I know you're tense about Polnareff eating all your cherries but i'm sure he'll come out of hiding soon enough"

Polnareff hid in the dumpster behind the hotel, all he could think about was how good those cherries were, I mean I don't blame him, if I were him i'd steal them too man fuck Kakyoin.
"Ugh, I kinda regret taking these, I mean Kakyoin is a pretty angry red-head. Maybe i'll go apologi-"

SUDDENLY EMERALDS SHOOT THE SHIT OUT OF THE DUMPSTER DAMN DUDE LOOK AT THAT
KAKYOIN'S GOT HIS SHADES ON AND EVERYTHING MAN HE MEANS BUSINESS.

Polnareff jumps out of the dumpster and Jotaro throws Iggy straight at him, Jotaro and Kakyoin say some shit about Sumo but I don't really know what they're on about. Joseph traps Pol in Hermit Purple, and Avdol burns the Frenchman like a BBQ.

"ouchie i'm sorry Kakyoin I didn't mean to hurt your feelings" Polnareff whimpers.
"fuck you too" Kakyoin whispers.

EMERALD...
SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Polnareff is dead.]

"Kakyoin wtf bro that was really dumb i'm gonna punch your or something" Jotaro calmly says as he turns Kakyoin into a human doughnut.

[Kakyoin is dead.]

"Jotaro you Japanese fag now none of the women are gonna watch this show" Joseph says as his strangles Jotaro

[Jotaro is dead.]

"FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT" Avdol sings.

[Avdol is mildly annoyed.]

"OH MY DIO! VANILLA ICE COME HERE, I JUST HAD THE GREATEST DREAM!" Dio yells in excitement