The TARDIS was a mess.
Bits of wiring and metal strewn about the floor. All the Doctor's tools and gadgets lying around, disassembled.
The lights had been turned off, the engines killed. Even the quiet, usually comforting hum of the TARDIS seemed unbelievably ominous. It was as if all the life and energy had gone out of the place.
Everything was dead silent, save for the occasional grunt coming from the Doctor, as he worked on his latest device. The very last one that he would ever make in his life.
Layers of sweat covered his pale and sickly skin. His hands shook as they fumbled with his sonic screwdriver, as he attempted to piece together the final parts of his newest device.
It was slow, hard work, especially in his current state, but he was making progress.
At least until a sudden pain knifed through his stomach.
"Aargh!"
The pain consumed him, like fire on wood. The Doctor lurched forward, device left forgotten on the floor. Every one of his nerves were on fire, every muscle strained in agony. For several moments, the world was black.
Then the pain disappeared. Just as quickly as it had arrived. The Doctor opened his eyes, the color of the world flooding back into his view.
That was, by far, the worst one he had yet. And he knew what that meant. He was getting closer to regenerating.
Reality shook him out of his thoughts.
No time to waste, he reminded himself.
It was a good few minutes later when he tightened the final screw onto his project.
The Doctor proudly held up the product of his work.
A circular object, with a large yellow button in the center of it. A thing that had haunted him for months. The dimension cannon, the very thing that had caused him to lose Rose.
It wasn't the same as the one before, however. It was an altered, upgraded dimension cannon. A new model that would allow him to pass through the walls of their universes, without causing any more tears in it.
He had spent weeks picking up parts for the new device, but never actually putting it together. Until now.
He had always been so fearful of what could have changed on the other side, that he had always put it off, convincing himself there would be another time.
What if Rose and his clone were already married? What if she didn't want to see him, hated him for leaving her behind again?
What if he couldn't stand the pain of leaving without her again?
But now this was his last chance.
The Doctor grimaced. His head was a pounding blur, everything felt strange to him, colder than usual. Nothing sounded better than just to sit down and wait for it to all pass. But he was running out of time.
Every second he wasted here was a second less he had to see her. He could feel the time ticking away, like sand in an hourglass; drifting through his fingers, slowly disappearing.
So The Doctor slowly, stood up... only to have his knees buckle and return to the unforgiving, hard floor. He could barely hold himself up at this point.
No time to lose.
He gripped onto the railings of the TARDIS, and forced himself back up into a standing position. He had to do it. Grim determination filled every line of his face. The Doctor reached for the controls.
The walls between their universes were still healing up, not completely recovered from the daleks' invasion. If he was ever going to have a chance to see her again, this would be it.
He rubbed his temple. The pain couldn't get to him, all he had to do was hold on for a while more...
Focus... focus...
The touch of a few buttons, the flick of a lever, and he was ready. He set the coordinates back to where everything had begun.
Canary Wharf.
The chunks of broken devices and wire he had cannibalized to make the dimension cannon remained on the floor. They were sent into a frantic whirlwind, flying around the TARDIS as it spun and turned.
It was going to be a bumpy ride.
The Doctor felt as if he was going to be sick. The noises, and the quick jerks, and the ups-and-downs... most definitely the worst ride he had ever been on.
Bits and pieces of machinery hit him in the face as they flew by him, leaving for some extremely nasty bruises.
Thank god I'm regenerating soon.
The landing sounds of the TARDIS echoed all around the control room, alerting him to their destination. He breathed a sigh of relief.
Since Canary Wharf was the place his universe had first collided with Pete's, it would be where the walls between their worlds were weakest. Weak enough, he was hoping, for the dimension cannon to work.
The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS. It was a freezing cold night in Canary Wharf, and there was not a single person in sight. No Christmas carols, no joyful cheering.
The sound of absolute silence filled his eardrums.
Snow covered the streets and the standing remains of buildings. Empty homes, empty roads... there was no sign anyone had even been here recently.
It was like a ghost town.
The Doctor bent down to inspect a piece of metal sitting on the ground. Black holes for eyes and metal for it's face. Just the very sight of it was enough to bring back memories.
It was a cyberman head.
Everywhere he looked, he could see the impact of their fight. Shards of broken glass and rubble lay on the streets. The sight of an overturned trash can on the middle of the road. A police cruiser on it's side, smoke coming out of it's shattered windows. It had to be hell for the people living here.
If there were still any.
He had been so grief stricken by his loss of Rose that after the Battle Of Canary Wharf, he had returned to his TARDIS and flown far far away, never thinking of coming back to see how the people were handling the aftermath of the battle.
All your fault.
He cleared the thoughts out of his mind. He was here for one reason, and one reason only. It was to see Rose. He could return to help all the people here after the regeneration.
The Doctor winced. His brain felt as if it was being whacked repeatedly with a mallet. It was a good thing he had come at night, or the bright light would definitely have overtaken him.
He looked down at the dimension cannon. It rested innocently in his hands. It was time to test his device.
Or...
The thought of just turning back to the TARDIS came to him. He hesitated.
Did he really want to do this?
The memory of Bad Wolf Bay immediately came to mind. The image of Rose, sobbing her eyes out as she confessed her love to him. As his projection flickered and died.
He could see the tears going down her face. It was the look of complete and utter fear, at losing him. The look of disappointment that he failed to finish his sentence.
Then there was his clone. He got to finish his sentence. He even got a kiss. Gets to live a normal life.
The image of them still haunted him, etched into his brain. As he got back in his TARDIS and ran back to his universe. The two of them right behind him, with everything he wanted. Knowing what he just lost.
And then something in him just cracked.
The Doctor clenched his jaw. Why not? One more look wouldn't hurt.
Especially one as short as a few seconds.
With trembling hands, he held the dimension cannon in front of him. It's big yellow button in the center dared him to press it.
He closed his eyes.
One last adventure, he told himself.
And with the press of the button, he vanished into thin air, leaving empty space where he stood not a moment ago.