Hi! This story is about Rosalie, who always wanted children. But then something happens what change her mind. Enjoy!
I do not own the Twilight Saga
It was a normal day, as always. As a vampire nothing special happens, the most dangerous thing that can happen is that the volturi comes after us. Like a year ago, when Nessie was born. Mental, Nessie was a year and half now, physical, she was like a four years old girl. Every day I see her and Bella and Edward moving at night to their cottage, as a happy family. They were a happy family. Bella had everything now. Her immortality, Edward and she got something with it, a child. She was blessed.
I always wanted a child, a little baby who is mine. A little girl with my blond curls and my violet eyes - from when I was human - but Emmett's dimples and the innocent look in his eyes. It would be a dream come true. Having my own family with Emmett. Something I always wanted from when I was human. Still I'm asking myself what I've done wrong to be punished like this. I knew I was very vain, shallow and selfish. But I changed through the year. Especially after Emmett came into the family. And oddly enough, when Bella came into the family I changed too. After she gave birth to Renesmee we grew closer. We were friends and sisters now. I was happy with her, but I was jealous that she had a child. Something I could never have.
I was sitting on a rock, looking at Edward, Bella and Renesmee, playing in the garden from their cottage. They were all laughing and they seemed so happy. So happy that you couldn't call it happy anymore. This kind of happiness you just saw in movies, or in books. But they were real. I could hours look at Renesmee. The little girl with her bronze hair and her chocolate brown eyes. She was truly the most beautiful child I ever saw. A child you would kill for.
I always thought about my child. I saw a baby boy or a baby girl. I thought about names too. I think I would call my little girl Emmalie. Like Emmett and Rosalie put together. Emmalie had my blond curls and my violet eyes. But she had Emmett's smile and the innocent look in his eyes. Emmalie would like to go shopping with me. In my thoughts I saw myself and a girl walking through the mall. We were laughing while we were dragging bags with us. Emmalie and I would be the best friends, and we won't have secrets for each other.
Sometimes I saw a little boy. The name of the boy wasn't easy to guess, it would be EJ. Emmett Junior. Emmett was an unique person, so naming our child after him was more than a pleasure. EJ had Emmett's dark curls, but my blue eyes. He had of course Emmett's smile, the same dimples as he has. EJ would love to play baseball with his father. EJ and Emmett would be the best buddies and they would often play games and everything. I would watch them and join the sight.
EJ and Emmalie were my virtual children, but I wanted real children. Virtual wasn't enough for me. I wanted to give Emmett the beautiful children he deserved. I wanted them so badly, I would kill for it. Every day I wished and prayed to be a mother. But I knew that it would never happen. That's one of the hundredth reasons I helped Bella with her pregnancy, she would have a child. I would be a aunt. There would be a baby with us. All those years... there was going to be a child again. Of course I wanted to be a mother, but being an aunt was enough. That's what I thought. But now I see how happy they are as a family, I couldn't help but be jealous. How much I would give to have a child...
I couldn't see it anymore, I stood up with a sigh and turned around. Their happiness was too much to handle for me. I would never have it, so why would I look at it and make myself suffer more. Even I didn't deserved that. I never really liked myself, especially because of my past. How vain and shallow I was... It wasn't normal anymore. Maybe that's why I was punished like that, because of my vanity. I didn't deserved more. It was a miracle I had Emmett and my family. I should be happy, but that doesn't change the hole in my heart. Something missed, my child.
'Rose?' I looked up and saw Emmett, about a mile in front of me. I smiled a small smile at him. He sighed relieved. 'Rose, I was looking for you. I was scared that something happen and...' suddenly Emmett's voice was far. Further than before. It was like it came through a tunnel. I never felt like this before in my whole vampire existence. I felt dizzy, my head was suddenly empty. 'Rose? Rose!' that was the last thing I heard, because I fell on the ground while the darkness surrounded me.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
I woke up. Wait... I woke up? Since when could I sleep as a vampire? I brushed my fingers through my hair. What happened? How long was I out? I looked around. Everything was so... white. The walls, the floor, the ceiling. White... just the color white. I stood up, where was Emmett? I called his name several times but never came an answer. I swallowed while I walked. It seemed so pointless. It didn't matter how long I walked, there came never an end. Everything was still white, I started to get sick - of how far vampires could get sick - from the color. Suddenly I heard a voice behind me.
'Rosalie,' I turned surprised around when I heard my name. I gasped when I saw a woman in front of me. She had long brown hair, and blue eyes. She was a few inches shorter than me and she was wearing a long white dress. She hadn't shoes on. I looked at her, she was beautiful. In fact, she looked like an Angel.
'Who are you?' I breathed. The woman smiled a warm smile at me, what made her more beautiful than she already was. I always thought that I was the most beautiful at earth, apparently I wasn't the only one. Normally I would be jealous, but for some reason I was very relaxed. The woman seemed like a beautiful human. But she didn't smell as a human.
'I'm Mary,' the woman smiled. 'I'm your guardian Angel,' I gasped in shock. Since when did I had a guardian Angel? Since when did I need one? Like she could read my mind she spoke: 'I guess you're confused now, Rosalie. You probably think that you don't need one, but everyone needs one,' Mary's voice was smooth and softly. It was nice to listen to it. I wanted to say something but nothing came out. 'You probably want to know where you are,' Mary chuckled, it sounded like music. 'You're in a different world now,' I frowned at her.
'Different world?' I forced out. Where did she talk about? Where was Emmett? Where were my siblings? My parents? The only world I lived in was the world of the vampires. I was getting used to it, every day more. I didn't know better. There was no other world for me. Just the world where I could never be mother.
'Yes,' Mary answered softly. 'Rosalie, I know you want children,' my jaw drop open. 'In fact, I know everything about you,' Mary stepped closer to me. 'Rosalie, how far would you go to have your child?' Mary asked me. I was overwhelmed by the question.
'Pretty far,' I answered honest. I didn't knew where this would went, I just knew that I wanted to go back to... well... earth. Mary said I was in a different world, let's say I want to go to my own world. The world where my family was. The world where Emmett was.
'Would you give up on your family for it?' Mary asked me. 'Would you give up on Emmett?' Mary asked me gentle. I bit my bottom lip, why did she wanted to know this? Honestly, I had to think about my answer. Would I give up on Emmett to have the child I always dreamed off? Maybe. I didn't know the answer. 'Rosalie?' I heard Mary's smooth voice.
I looked her right in the eye now. 'Maybe,' I answered her. Mary raised one eyebrow, like she knew the answer but she wanted to hear it from me. 'Probably,' I said now. I sighed. To be honest. I guess I would. I bowed my head. I couldn't help but feel guilty. After everything was my family and what Emmett had done for me... It sounded so stupid, so selfish, but it sounded honest. For some reason I had to be honest to Mary.
Mary smiled. 'I thought that too,' she sighed softly. Then she stepped closer and she took both my hands in hers. 'I'm going to show you why that would be stupid,' I looked surprised at her. 'Now listen good to me, Rosalie. Close your eyes and concentrate good on me,' Mary commanded me. I did what she asked and closed my eyes. I did my best not to think about Emmett or about what was going to happen. I concentrate as much as I could at Mary. Suddenly I felt very light, like I was flying. My eyes snapped in shock open. Nothing happened, I was still surrounded by the color white. Mary looked a little bit annoying at me but then chuckled. 'You have to concentrate on me Rosalie, or less it won't work,' I simply nodded and closed my eyes again. This time I didn't broke my concentrate on Mary when I felt myself flying again. I held my eyes close and it took all my focus not to snap my eyes open and look at what was happening. 'You can open your eyes,' I opened them.
'I feel so light,' was the first thing that came up in me. I looked surprised at Mary. I felt so light as a feather. Like a human just had to blow to let me fall on the ground. 'Is that normal?' I asked when Mary didn't answer me. I spread my arms. Yes, light as a feather.
Mary nodded. 'Yes, that's normal,' she smiled. 'Listen good to me Rosalie. You're not on earth anymore,' I felt a shiver go through me when she said that. 'As I said before, I'm going to show you why giving up on your family for being human and have a child is smart. Look,' she pointed at a woman. I didn't realize that we were in a forest. I looked at the woman through the trees. The woman was beautiful, she had long blond hair and blue eyes. She was tall and she looked angelic. Then I gasped. The beautiful woman was me.
'Is that m...me?' I choked. The woman was beautiful, but she didn't look exactly at me. She didn't had golden eyes or a pill white skin. She was less beautiful than me, for some reason. Then it hit it. She-or I was human. 'B... but how?'
'Yes, that's you,' Mary smiled sadly at me. 'You had a change to be human again, but you had to give up on your family. As you see you're already turned, in other words, you decided to do it,' Mary sighed and looked than surprised at me. I was hiding behind a tree.
'What?' I asked her when she frowned at me. For some reason I felt stupid, maybe because of the look she gave me. 'Come!' I grabbed Mary's wrist and pulled her with me. 'Before sh-eh I see you,' suddenly Mary started to laugh. 'Shh!' I put my finger on my lips what made Mary laughing harder.
'Rosalie, nobody can see or hear us,' I raised my eyebrows at Mary who shook her head. 'That's why you're feeling so light. Only your soul is here,' I wanted to say something but Mary was faster. 'The place where you woke up, there is your body. That's why I asked you to concentrate, so you can leave your body and come with me,' Mary explained to me.
I bowed my head, embarrassed. I didn't felt stupid, I was stupid. 'So, in other words, I'm a ghost?' I spit the word "ghost" like it was a dirty word. But it sounded so stupid, me a ghost. I started to be afraid now. The only thing I wanted was to go back to Emmett.
Mary shrugged. 'You can see it like that,' she said to me. Then she turned to "me" again. 'We are going to follow your human life after you left your old family. Now,' she turned to the real me now. 'Close your eyes again, I'm going to replace us again,' I closed my eyes while Mary took both my hands again. Again I felt like flying, but this time my weight didn't change. When Mary commanded me to open my eyes again I was still feather light, something you had to get used too. I opened my eyes and saw myself in front of a mirror. My hands covered my mouth when I saw the big belly what could only mean one thing: pregnant.
'I... I'm...' I couldn't even finish my sentence. It looked so real, so beautiful. Something I dreamed off so many years. I saw myself turning in the mirror to see the belly from all sides. My belly was very big, my hand was caressing my belly.
'Pregnant. Indeed,' Mary finished my sentence. 'As you see you're eight months pregnant here. But look at your face, you aren't as happy as you think you would be,' Mary pointed at my face. She was right, something in my face didn't look happy. In fact, it seemed sad. 'You miss your family and Emmett,' Mary said softly to me. 'But as you see, you're trying to be strong,' I couldn't say anything. I just looked shocked at myself. I realized that it were my eyes who seemed sad. A smile was dancing around my lips but my eyes seemed so sad, so empty. Mary turned to me and took my hands. What meant one thing. I closed my eyes and I felt like flying again. After a few seconds Mary commanded me to open them again. This time I was in a room. I saw myself sitting in a bed with something in my hands. A baby.
'My baby,' I whispered while I looked at myself with my baby in my arms. I was humming a lullaby. I reached out to touch the baby, but gasped when I didn't feel anything. I realized that I couldn't touch it, as if I was touching air. As if I was transparent.
'You can't touch anything or anybody, Rosalie,' I heard Mary explaining me. 'You're feather light remember. Or as you said before, a ghost,' I flinched at the word ghost. 'Look at your baby Rosalie, it's a girl,' I looked at the baby. A girl. How often did I dreamed of this moment? Like in my memories, the girl had blond hair. Suddenly the baby opened her eyes, I gasped at the color. Violet blue, like in my dreams. So real... so true. I wanted to take the miracle in my arms.
'What's her name?' for some reason I wanted to know the name so badly. Like the name was more important than the baby itself. I wanted to caress the cheek of the baby but again, it was like I was touching air. My fingers slipped through the cheek.
'Emmalie,' I gasped when I heard Mary say the name. 'Look at yourself Rosalie, do you call yourself happy?' I looked at myself. I was still humming the same lullaby, but suddenly I seemed so old. Like before, I was smiling at Emmalie, but my eyes were so empty. Like I was lost in a nightmare. It was just horrible to see. Mary stepped closer to me. 'You're happy with the baby, but you miss something, I think you already know what,' I nodded slowly. Emmett. Mary took my hands again and I closed my eyes automatically. I concentrated on Mary like I did the other times and I flew away. 'Open your eyes,' I heard Mary's musical voice.
I opened them and this time we were in a street. 'Where are we?' I asked Mary while allot people were walking past us. It was very busy and it was evening. The moon was shining on the road where cars were riding. Suddenly I saw myself. I was walking with a perambulator on the steps.
'In the city were you're living as a human,' Mary said to me. 'Look, you are taking Emmalie for a walk while you're shopping a little bit. Just a few things,' I saw a few bags in my hand while I pushed the perambulator with the other hand. 'Do you see something striking about yourself?' Mary asked me.
I looked at myself, it took me a few moments till I realized that I was looking at a couple. They were sitting outside from a restaurant. They were feeding each other ice cream while they were laughing. Occasionally they gave each other a passionate kiss. It was so romantic that I wanted to cry. 'I'm looking at a couple,' I whispered to Mary.
'Exactly,' Mary nodded. 'Look at the guy. Look at the dark curls and the dimples he has when he smiles,' Mary pointed at him. 'He reminds you off Emmett,' I nodded slowly. 'They remind you about how passionate you and Emmett were while you were still vampire,' I bit my bottom lip and looked at myself. I swear I saw a tear running down my cheek before I shook my head desperate and pushed the perambulator harshly while I walked quickly by.
'I miss Emmett,' I spoke softly. 'I can almost feel my own feelings. I want him,' Mary nodded in agreement. I saw little Emmalie in the perambulator when the woman who was supposed to be me walked by. She was sleeping peaceful, like in my dreams, she was beautiful.
'Come,' Mary took my hands again and I closed my eyes. I tried to concentrate but after what I saw it was almost impossible. 'Concentrate, Rosalie,' I sighed heavily and tried to concentrate harder. It worked, I felt like flying again while we replaced. 'Open your eyes,' Mary said to me. I opened them and I gasped at what I saw. I was in a bed with Emmalie in my arms, but I didn't look happy, at all. In fact, I looked like a crazy woman. My hair was messed up and I had streaks mascara on my face. My breath was heavily and tears were running down my face. I was humming the lullaby again but my voice sounded hoarse.
'I look so awful,' I whispered. I turned around, I couldn't look anymore. I looked like a crazy woman. This wasn't the picture I had in my dreams. I had to be happy with my child. I looked so broken. I turned my head but regret my decision immediately, the woman who had to be me started to cry out loud. My hands were covering my face while I heard the woman crying. Emmalie started to cry too, what made it all worse.
'I know you think that Emmett is half of your happiness, and your child would be the other half,' Mary spoke softly. I didn't answer. 'But that isn't true,' my hands fell from my face when I frowned at Mary. 'And your family?' that was true, my family made me happy too. 'Emmett is half of your happiness, that's true. But a child is just a quarter of your happiness, your family is the other quarter,' Mary stepped closer to me. 'You always thought that there was a piece missing, but that piece wasn't as big as you thought. Look,' she pointed at the crazy woman in the bed with the baby in her arms. 'You're missing three quarters of your happiness.'
'This wasn't what I expected. I thought that having a child would be a dream come true, I would do anything to have it. But now I see this, now I realize how happy I truly am with my family,' I whispered. 'Can we go?' I asked Mary. Mary nodded and took my hands. I looked at Emmalie who was crying in the arms of the unfortunate woman. I bit my bottom lip before closing my eyes.
'You can open your eyes,' Mary said to me. I opened them and sighed when we were on the white place again. I didn't feel feather light anymore. I realized that I was in my own body again and that I laid on the ground. I stood up. 'That was extreme, wasn't it?' I simply nodded my head. 'There is just one thing I want to show you,' Mary smiled at me. 'Look behind you.'
I turned around and gasped when I saw two beautiful children in front of me. The boy had Emmett's dark curls and blue eyes. The girl had blond curls and my violet eyes from my human life. They were both extremely beautiful. 'EJ and Emmalie,' I whispered. It were the children of my dreams.
Mary nodded her head. 'EJ and Emmalie,' she replied. 'You always thought that you missed something, but that wasn't true. You already had your children, in your heart,' Mary gave a nod to the beautiful children. They both placed their hand on the place where my head had to be. They closed their eyes. 'They're in your heart,' Mary whispered. Suddenly the children disappeared.
'Where are they?' I asked startled at Mary.
Mary placed her hand on the place where her heart was. 'In your heart, Rosalie,' Mary smiled angelic at me. 'In your heart,' I placed my hand on my heart and I sighed happily. I could feel them, in my heart. 'Now, Rosalie, I'm going to ask you the same question as before. Would you give up on your family and on Emmett to be human again?'
I shook my head with a smile. 'I would never give up on them,' I said to Mary. And I truly meant it, after what I saw. How broken I was without my family, without the love of my life by my side. Mary was right, my children where in my heart. But my family was with me, and that was enough.
'Than my job is done,' Mary said softly with a smile. She stepped closer to me. 'It's time to return,' she said to me.
'Return to what?' I asked Mary. Was she going to replace us to another world?
'Return to your world,' Mary smiled at me and I returned the smile as sweet as I could. 'Now listen good, you have to make your head completely empty. Don't think about anything,' she instructed me. I nodded. Trying not to think, it wasn't difficult, with Edward in house you practice it often. Mary laid her hand on my head. She closed her eyes. 'Close your eyes now,' she said softly.
'Mary?'
'Yes Rosalie?'
'Thank you,' I whispered. I heard Mary's angelic chuckle before the darkness surrounded me.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
'Rose?' I heard a voice. I couldn't hear it clear, like it came from the end of the tunnel. Someone was holding my hand. I could see the light on the end of the tunnel. I walked to it and the voice was getting clearer. I recognized the voice. Carlisle.
'Emmett...' I whispered. 'Emmett,' I only wanted to hear or see him. Nobody else was as important as Emmett was for me. Nobody else knew me as much Emmett knew me. He was the one I needed now. 'Emmett,' I choked out now.
'I'm here, Rose,' I sighed in relief when I heard him. I opened my eyes and turned my head immediately to see Emmett next to me, holding my left hand. 'Oh Rose,' Emmett laid his head on the bed where I laid. 'I'm so happy that you're awake.'
'Emmett,' I placed my hand on his cheek. 'I love you,' Emmett looked up at me and smiled my favorite smile, showing me his dimples. Suddenly I remembered everything again. Mary, children, Emmalie and EJ, my family. I saw how broken I was without Emmett and my family. I saw that having children wasn't the best thing ever. I saw that children weren't half of my happiness, just a quarter. I saw my need for Emmett, my need for my family. My children were in my hearts.
'I love you too,' Emmett stood up and gave me a kiss on my head. 'I love you too, Angel,' he repeated while he kissed my forehead.
'I'm happy your back, Rose,' Carlisle smiled at me and I returned the smile. 'But I have to ask, how are you feeling?' yes, that was Carlisle.
'I'm...' I searched for the right word. 'Fine,' I finally said. It was true, I felt fine. I was fine. With everything. Of course I still wanted children, but I didn't need them anymore. I took the Emmett's hand and laid it on the place where my heart had to be. 'Our children, Emmalie and EJ, are here,' I whispered to him.
'Oh Rose!' before Emmett could repeat my whole family was hugging and kissing me. Yes, my family, that's what I need. I laughed and hugged and kissed them back while I reassured them that I was fine. I realized that I really missed my family, maybe I was for a short time away, I did miss them.
'What happened?' Bella asked me when everybody was finally done with hugging me. I sighed before I started my story. I told them about the dream I had. About my need for children, that I was human again, that I had a child but I wasn't happy. I told them about the couple I saw when I saw myself on the street, I told them that I looked horrible and depressed, even when I had a baby. I told them everything, everything but Mary. I didn't wanted them to tell about her, don't get me wrong, I loved them both, but she was my guardian Angel. It was something between us.
I looked at Emmett again who wrapped his arm around me while I was talking. I laid my hand on the place where his heart had to be and his hand where mine was. We leaned into each other so our foreheads could touch. 'Our children,' we whispered both at the same time.
I was sitting on the same rock again while I looked at Renesmee, Bella and Edward. Who were at their cottage, playing in the garden. This time I wasn't jealous, this time I looked with a smile on my face at them. Because I knew that I already had everything. A family and an amazing husband. I would always dream of children, but the fact that I had them already in my heart was enough for me to be happy. I thought that EJ and Emmalie were virtual, but they weren't. They were real. They had a place in my heart and in Emmett's.
'Rose!' I turned around and saw Emmett standing in front of me. I stood up with a smile and ran right into his arms. He hugged me tightly. 'I love you, my Angel,' he whispered to me. I looked up at him and smiled, while he returned the smile I spoke:
'I love you too, Emmett. You are all I need, and that's true. Our children are in our hearts. Emmalie and Emmett Junior. Maybe I can't hold or see them, I can feel them. I'm finally happy, with you and our family. As long as you're by my side, I'm happy. Thank you,' and with that I closed the gap between us with a passionate kiss. I truly meant my words, as long as Emmett was by my side, I can everything.
My children are in my heart, but my family and Emmett are at my side. And that is enough for me to make me the happiest girl alive.
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I hope you liked it!
Thank you.
