Ch.1: Awakening
When I woke up, there was someone licking me.
Or, rather, someTHING. That something took the shape of a large, black shaggy dog
that had his dirty paws on the edge of the clean sofa and his tail (dripping puddles)
thumping the coffee table rather enthusiastically. The first thing that came to my mind was
to clean it up, but first I had to get rid of the dog. But before everything, I had to
greet the Animagus that was my good friend of the very best kind. I didn't hide the
surprise nor the excitement I got from seeing the animal, and almost shrieked with delight
when he turned back into a man, smiling and laughing at me.
"Sirius!" I got up to hug him but he stopped me with a hand. From his pocket he
drew a spotted handkerchief and gingerly dabbed away at the dog saliva on my face. I hadn't
needed this reminder, and I had hoped to smother him with his own spit. Mentally I sighed;
Ambush #1 down the drain. But there would be other chances to get him back, I mused. No
time for that, though; this was Sirius, and the fact that he was here was only for a good
reason. As he started to wipe near my left eye, I took the handkerchief from him and
dropped it on the table. I hit away his hand when he bent to pick it up again and tilted
his head up to face mine. It was the most contact I had done since that hug in the
Shrieking Shack more than a year ago.
"Did Dumbledore send you?"
Sirius didn't reply for a moment, but I could see disappointment in his eyes. Was it
what I said? Was he expecting other than business to come out of my mouth these days? I
had never been wealthy, he knew, and I took the job as my life. Did he really expect me to
sit him down and give him a cup of tea and ask him how his family was doing? Though I would
probably be doing just that in a little while, talking about Harry.
He nodded, and I sat him down. I went back and brought out a cup of coffee. , I thought, but there was nothing else for me to do at the moment. There
was nothing to talk about between us. That was all over, behind us. But Sirius didn't let
the lack of conversation get him. There could never be too much silence in the room for him
to break back then when we were young and free and unhindered by people's deaths as weight-
less burdens on our backs. The years in Azakaban had twisted him. I could see it in his
dark eyes, something had changed. It wasn't the look of dead-ness that Harry had once told
me about after we saw Sirius in the Shrieking Shack; rather, the look was one of repressed
emotions, the inability to speak out what he wanted to say because there was no one to speak
out to. Sirius couldn't very well talk to the walls that surrounded him; that would be
completely going mad. That wasn't like Sirius to go completely raving mad and swoon and
fall down dead one day. Sirius was planning to go with a bang, not a whisper.
"Did you hear about the Goblet of -", he started.
"-Fire, yes. And the whole incident about the Triwizard Tournament", I answered
primly. That clipped his mouth shut for a moment before a scowl crossed his face and he
muttered a dark curse to the annoying reporter who had written all those articles about
Harry during the Tournament -what was her name again? Reda Squeeter? Something like that.
The amusement must have showed on my face, because Sirius was looking at me when I noticed
him again. "What?", I asked with a smiled playing on my lips. "Can't I hate that Rita
Skeeter character as well?"
That brought a grin to Sirius' face. , I told myself, and
reveled in the fact that I had made him smile. His face looked like it had gone too long
without happiness.
He deserved every minute of it. He deserved all the happiness in the world, for
everything I could name that made my years bearable.
"That lady has too much time on her hands", Sirius was saying. "I wonder where she
is now, since she's not haranguing any people anymore. I checked the Daily Prophet before I
came here, and I didn't find anything from her. 'N fact, didn't find anything from her for
the last month or so." I smiled, and gave him a fluently wicked response, "She probably
got sued and is now hiding." I shrugged. "Doesn't make a difference to me; she was a prat
in school, if you remember. I'm rather glad we don't have to hear from her scalding tongue
anymore."
Sirius sniggered quietly for a minute, but then silence fell over us again. This
time it was relaxed, not as tense as the first bout of silence, but I could feel that he was
still uncertain, still afraid of what I might say to him now. I don't think I was anymore
surprised when he looked over at me and just stared. It was that stare that caught me off
guard, and it told me so much. I missed you, but I'm afraid to tell you that, I could
tell.
"Are you all right?", he said finally, at length. I nodded, and turned my attention
to the coffee mug in front of me. Seeing my indifference on his return must have irked him
more than I had imagined, because he got up from where he was sitting to cross the room and
throw a hand in front of me to block my way.
"What's changed, eh, Moony? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?", he stressed the words, and I
leaned back. Oh, I had known Padfoot to be mad, more angry than anything I had seen, but to
have this anger aimed at me; it stung because I had never been the receiptant of his anger
before, only watched from a distance. Unvoluntarily I winced and turned away, and it was
not because he had not brushed it teeth in a week.
"Has time done this much damage?", he asked in a softer tone, almost pleading for me
to look at him. When I didn't turn he gripped my chin in still-strong fingers and tilted
my head to look at him. "Look at me, Moony." I stared earnestly at him, and lost myself in
his dark, I-have-no-idea-what-color-THAT-is eyes. Too dark to be brown, to light to be
black. Just somewhat in the middle. But I wasn't here to admire his eyes.
"Have we come here just to remince on old times, Padfoot? I hardly think so", I
said soberly. "Don't you have some purpose here? Shouldn't we be rallying forces to the
storm that will most definately come to pass? We should be out and recruiting members, not
sitting here and drinking coffee-"
"Don't you tell me what we should be doing, Moony! Do you think I haven't taken
into consideration how much time we have as opposed to how much time we have to chat over a
cup of coffee? I hardly think THAT compares, Moony. We still have time, and I intend to
make use of the time I have with you to talk and", here he gulped, and his words slowed to a
whisper, "make up for lost time."
At this, I had to laugh. I gave a short bark or two, and answered mirthlessly, "You
think that you can make up for time?" I didn't glare at him, but I did fix him with my
best scrutiny. "Padfoot, there is no such thing as 'making up time'."
He released the hold on my shoulder (when did his hand get there?), and sat back
down. He mumbled soft apology after soft apology, mindlessly, until I laid a hand on his
shoulder. He turned to me, and I could see that his eyes were bright. This was not the
Sirius I knew; he wasn't bold anymore, not the reckless motorcycle-rider that tried so hard
to do everything at once, and please everyone in the process. Sirius had been a man of
hardship and work, but now he was...worthless, at least he felt. He certainly looked that
way. But Sirius had been one of the cleverest wizards at Hogwarts; that couldn't stray out
of consideration.
As my hand slipped from his shoulder, he caught it in his own, and drew me near to
him. Suddenly a welling of emotion flooded through me at him and the close proximity of our
bodies, and I laid my head on his shoulder. , I sighed in my mind, even though he
couldn't hear me. And as if he heard my
thought, he turned his head towards me, and with his other hand tilted my head up like he
did once before. Then he leaned down and just kissed me.
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
Author's note:
Eek! Plot bunnies won't leave me alone. So this is what came out of it. The next
chapter will all be reminiscing about school years. That's just about the whole point of
the fic, reminiscing. Great. On with the story, now. There'll be a chapter for each year
(I hope).
Andrea Weiling
When I woke up, there was someone licking me.
Or, rather, someTHING. That something took the shape of a large, black shaggy dog
that had his dirty paws on the edge of the clean sofa and his tail (dripping puddles)
thumping the coffee table rather enthusiastically. The first thing that came to my mind was
to clean it up, but first I had to get rid of the dog. But before everything, I had to
greet the Animagus that was my good friend of the very best kind. I didn't hide the
surprise nor the excitement I got from seeing the animal, and almost shrieked with delight
when he turned back into a man, smiling and laughing at me.
"Sirius!" I got up to hug him but he stopped me with a hand. From his pocket he
drew a spotted handkerchief and gingerly dabbed away at the dog saliva on my face. I hadn't
needed this reminder, and I had hoped to smother him with his own spit. Mentally I sighed;
Ambush #1 down the drain. But there would be other chances to get him back, I mused. No
time for that, though; this was Sirius, and the fact that he was here was only for a good
reason. As he started to wipe near my left eye, I took the handkerchief from him and
dropped it on the table. I hit away his hand when he bent to pick it up again and tilted
his head up to face mine. It was the most contact I had done since that hug in the
Shrieking Shack more than a year ago.
"Did Dumbledore send you?"
Sirius didn't reply for a moment, but I could see disappointment in his eyes. Was it
what I said? Was he expecting other than business to come out of my mouth these days? I
had never been wealthy, he knew, and I took the job as my life. Did he really expect me to
sit him down and give him a cup of tea and ask him how his family was doing? Though I would
probably be doing just that in a little while, talking about Harry.
He nodded, and I sat him down. I went back and brought out a cup of coffee. , I thought, but there was nothing else for me to do at the moment. There
was nothing to talk about between us. That was all over, behind us. But Sirius didn't let
the lack of conversation get him. There could never be too much silence in the room for him
to break back then when we were young and free and unhindered by people's deaths as weight-
less burdens on our backs. The years in Azakaban had twisted him. I could see it in his
dark eyes, something had changed. It wasn't the look of dead-ness that Harry had once told
me about after we saw Sirius in the Shrieking Shack; rather, the look was one of repressed
emotions, the inability to speak out what he wanted to say because there was no one to speak
out to. Sirius couldn't very well talk to the walls that surrounded him; that would be
completely going mad. That wasn't like Sirius to go completely raving mad and swoon and
fall down dead one day. Sirius was planning to go with a bang, not a whisper.
"Did you hear about the Goblet of -", he started.
"-Fire, yes. And the whole incident about the Triwizard Tournament", I answered
primly. That clipped his mouth shut for a moment before a scowl crossed his face and he
muttered a dark curse to the annoying reporter who had written all those articles about
Harry during the Tournament -what was her name again? Reda Squeeter? Something like that.
The amusement must have showed on my face, because Sirius was looking at me when I noticed
him again. "What?", I asked with a smiled playing on my lips. "Can't I hate that Rita
Skeeter character as well?"
That brought a grin to Sirius' face. , I told myself, and
reveled in the fact that I had made him smile. His face looked like it had gone too long
without happiness.
He deserved every minute of it. He deserved all the happiness in the world, for
everything I could name that made my years bearable.
"That lady has too much time on her hands", Sirius was saying. "I wonder where she
is now, since she's not haranguing any people anymore. I checked the Daily Prophet before I
came here, and I didn't find anything from her. 'N fact, didn't find anything from her for
the last month or so." I smiled, and gave him a fluently wicked response, "She probably
got sued and is now hiding." I shrugged. "Doesn't make a difference to me; she was a prat
in school, if you remember. I'm rather glad we don't have to hear from her scalding tongue
anymore."
Sirius sniggered quietly for a minute, but then silence fell over us again. This
time it was relaxed, not as tense as the first bout of silence, but I could feel that he was
still uncertain, still afraid of what I might say to him now. I don't think I was anymore
surprised when he looked over at me and just stared. It was that stare that caught me off
guard, and it told me so much. I missed you, but I'm afraid to tell you that, I could
tell.
"Are you all right?", he said finally, at length. I nodded, and turned my attention
to the coffee mug in front of me. Seeing my indifference on his return must have irked him
more than I had imagined, because he got up from where he was sitting to cross the room and
throw a hand in front of me to block my way.
"What's changed, eh, Moony? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?", he stressed the words, and I
leaned back. Oh, I had known Padfoot to be mad, more angry than anything I had seen, but to
have this anger aimed at me; it stung because I had never been the receiptant of his anger
before, only watched from a distance. Unvoluntarily I winced and turned away, and it was
not because he had not brushed it teeth in a week.
"Has time done this much damage?", he asked in a softer tone, almost pleading for me
to look at him. When I didn't turn he gripped my chin in still-strong fingers and tilted
my head to look at him. "Look at me, Moony." I stared earnestly at him, and lost myself in
his dark, I-have-no-idea-what-color-THAT-is eyes. Too dark to be brown, to light to be
black. Just somewhat in the middle. But I wasn't here to admire his eyes.
"Have we come here just to remince on old times, Padfoot? I hardly think so", I
said soberly. "Don't you have some purpose here? Shouldn't we be rallying forces to the
storm that will most definately come to pass? We should be out and recruiting members, not
sitting here and drinking coffee-"
"Don't you tell me what we should be doing, Moony! Do you think I haven't taken
into consideration how much time we have as opposed to how much time we have to chat over a
cup of coffee? I hardly think THAT compares, Moony. We still have time, and I intend to
make use of the time I have with you to talk and", here he gulped, and his words slowed to a
whisper, "make up for lost time."
At this, I had to laugh. I gave a short bark or two, and answered mirthlessly, "You
think that you can make up for time?" I didn't glare at him, but I did fix him with my
best scrutiny. "Padfoot, there is no such thing as 'making up time'."
He released the hold on my shoulder (when did his hand get there?), and sat back
down. He mumbled soft apology after soft apology, mindlessly, until I laid a hand on his
shoulder. He turned to me, and I could see that his eyes were bright. This was not the
Sirius I knew; he wasn't bold anymore, not the reckless motorcycle-rider that tried so hard
to do everything at once, and please everyone in the process. Sirius had been a man of
hardship and work, but now he was...worthless, at least he felt. He certainly looked that
way. But Sirius had been one of the cleverest wizards at Hogwarts; that couldn't stray out
of consideration.
As my hand slipped from his shoulder, he caught it in his own, and drew me near to
him. Suddenly a welling of emotion flooded through me at him and the close proximity of our
bodies, and I laid my head on his shoulder. , I sighed in my mind, even though he
couldn't hear me. And as if he heard my
thought, he turned his head towards me, and with his other hand tilted my head up like he
did once before. Then he leaned down and just kissed me.
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
Author's note:
Eek! Plot bunnies won't leave me alone. So this is what came out of it. The next
chapter will all be reminiscing about school years. That's just about the whole point of
the fic, reminiscing. Great. On with the story, now. There'll be a chapter for each year
(I hope).
Andrea Weiling