disclaimer: this first poem is mildlyinspired by the song Sophie by Bears Den,

Dear Fitz,

The first thing you should know is she will always love you, but she will always love him even more than that, you will make her smile a million and he will make her smile a million and one, but you will alway love her more than he does, and you will forever live in agony,

You will live to be an ancient, and she will live to be thirty five, it will be your job to cover her, and Gisela will mimic a scream of someone you love and you will get distracted for half a second, and then she's gone. You will run through the wander woods the second you meet her parents eyes brimmed tears and you will scream to the sky how sorry you are, and you will cry to the stars how much you wish you told her how much you loved her, but sorry doesn't bring her back, and I love doesn't make her heart beat again, even if it used to make her heart flutter. Nothing can bring her back because she's gone.

You should know that you will never learn how to live without Sophie Foster, and you will not live a day when you don't think about the girl with the brown eyes in the museum and wish that you had thought it wasn't her, left her there where she'd be safe. You will not live a day when you remember a day without Sophie from your childhood because looking for Sophie was your childhood, and Sophie herself was supposed to be the rest of your life, even if she did love him more, you loved her more than anything and just being her friend was enough, even if it never could be enough.

You should know that everything you say about the women you marry will be a lie, every I love you, every this is what I want, every word you say to or about her is things you've trained yourself how to say.

Your match will fail, that's what happens when you lie all the time, when it happens you will go and visit her tree, you will wonder again how you let this happen, and you will wonder again if she ever would have loved you as much as she loved him. You have to guess the answer is no, but maybe you're wrong, maybe, not that you'll ever know, because you killed her, you didn't but in your own eyes it was forever you holding that knife, (you turned around for a second because you thought you heard your mother screaming in agony but you still see it as your fault)

You will watch as the world starts to fall, things start dying, the earth keeps getting hotter, and then everything's gone, and you're gone with it,

Suddenly you will see brown eyes meet your own, and suddenly it's all okay again.

Sincerely Life (AKA Death)

AN: Carin: well that was an angst fest. Anyways there will be one for everyone including Marella, because Marella is the freaking best.

Bye