Sara ran as fast as her feet could carry her out of the building and right into the cold evening air of Las Vegas. Her heart felt like it was ripped out of her chest, the event that just had occurred did hurt the softhearted woman right into her core. It was too much pain, this feeling of losing everything she desired for so long.
'How could she hurt me so badly, I lose my shit. DAMN!' Sara's brain reeled and twisted in bitter realization of her loss. Catherine was her weakest spot, always is and always will be.
'Damn Sidle' she thought while her legs carried her merciless through her bodily pain towards her car.
As she ran to her car, the tears that earlier had threaten to fall started to roll like a warm stream of lava down her pale cheeks. Her body trembled from the tears she had withheld until she was outside the view of her colleges. As she arrived at her car she opened the car-door and almost jumped into her car. 'Just out of here, She thought in desperation, 'away from her. She will be my downfall. Shit, shit, shit, damn you, Catherine!'
Catherine Willows ran out of Gill's office, past a stunned Warrick and Nick and out of the building in search of Sara.
"Sara, Sara!" Catherine yelled into the empty and dark parking lot. She scanned the parking lot, hoping to see her girlfriend and love of her life, Sara Sidle.
"Don't you even, Catherine!" Sara almost yelled as she saw Catherine approaching her.
"Sara please, I..I want set things straight, please!" Catherine walked towards Sara. Her heart felt like it crumbled as an old newspaper as she saw that Sara cried. Sara's beautiful dark eyes were red and puffy.
'How could I let it come so far.' Catherine thought remorseful. 'How could I let it come to this. I've hurt her so much. I never ever wanted to hurt her'
Catherine stood just a few feet away from Sara as Sara looked at her, the sadness evident in her red, puffy eyes and asked, "How hard is it to simply admit you're are in love with me and that we're in a relationship, huh!? Are you ashamed of us, because..fuck you, Catherine... I've told Gill!" Sara shook her head in dismay, "No more secrets, Cath. Goddammit, I LOVE YOU, AND IT HURTS... It hurts that you didn't tell Eddie there is no chance in hell for him to ever be with you because you're WITH ME. ME, CATHERINE!"
"Sara, stop it!" Catherine said almost quietly, ignoring her hammering heart.
Catherine seemed so calm about all of it, Sara didn't understand it, but she tried to listen, although her brain told her to simply drive away.
"Please, sweetheart, please listen to me..." Catherine said and tried not to look away.
"No Catherine, I'm done listening to your shit excuses, at least not until you answer my question!" Her tears had threatened to fall again but she tried not to cry. 'Damn you!'
"Sara, How can I tell Eddie, sorry I don't love you anymore, I'm in love with a woman? How can I tell him that it is useless to fight for me because my heart belongs to you?" Catherine's tear rolled now freely down her cheeks and she desperately tried to wipe them away, but they came back with even more determination. "Yes, he told me he still loves me. Yes, he asked for another chance, and oh fuck yes I didn't tell him that I'm with you and fucking yes, I did say 'yes' when he asked me if he could come over to my house... But Sara, I would have told him there and then. I just didn't want to put up a show for everybody in the building!"
Catherine stepped closer to the heartbroken criminologist and almost whispered, "And yes I admit I didn't have the courage to tell him right away. I need to be prepared for this... I just couldn't. I just wanted to buy time and at now at least I have two hours to come up with something to say. " Catherine sighed deeply before continuing, "Once I thought I loved him..LOVED as in the past, Sara. I still respect him enough to give him at least a decent closure of our time together, please try to understand me."
Catherine reached out to Sara and Sara embraced the redheaded woman, feeling the warmth of her petite body fitting perfectly into her's.
"I just can't just tell him about us and then walk away as if nothing ever happened between us." A soft sigh escaped from Catherine's lips. "I love you more than anybody in this world, and I will tell him, please, sweetheart, I really do love you more than my life." She looked up at the beautiful geeky woman and softly kissed her lips. As she pulled a little bit back she looked with all the love she felt for Sara at her and said softly, "It will always be you, my beautiful Sara, I love you. I would always choose you and I would never be ashamed of you..of us!"
Sara and Catherine held each other in a strong embrace, "I will talk to him, set things straight and then no-one in the world will keep us apart... No-one!"
"You promise?" came Sara's soft voice.
"Promised, my love...promised, promised, promised!" Catherine told her girlfriend.
They kissed tenderly.
Suddenly they heard someone cheering, "Way to go, lovebirds!"
"Warrick!" They shouted in unison and chuckled happily..