SARA POV:
It's been two days since Catherine and I watched Phantom of the Opera together, and after the movie we talked about things like keeping this to ourselves. For right now Lindsey is the only one we are going to tell. We decided to see how things go between us before we tell the guys. I also told Catherine that I love her. I thought that it might be too soon to talk about it, but I wanted her to know that I love her and that I would do anything to make this work. She said that it wasn't too soon, because she loves me too. Other than that, all we did was make out like school girls until Catherine had to leave. I wanted her to stay with me but we both said we wanted to take thing slow for now.
Today after work we were going out to breakfast together, but not before picking up Lindsey first. We decided it was time we tell to her about us being together. I told Catherine I would call Lindsey for her, because I have to talk to Lindsey about my cat.
Lindsey loves looking after my cat for me, so Catherine did not question me about it. What I really wanted to talk to Lindsey about was telling her mum about Britney.
So I went outside to call Lindsey, and to have a cigarette while I waited for Catherine.
She said she was only be like 2 minutes, but knowing Catherine it would be more like 10 minutes. So I was calling Lindsey and lighting up while I waited for her to pick up the phone.
"Hello." She answered
"Hi Lindsey its Sara" I said
"Hi Sara, what's up?" Lindsey asked
"Your mum and I want to take you out for breakfast before you go to school." I reply
"I would love that, I love spending time with you and mum, but I love it more when I get to spend time was both of you at the same time. It never happens all that much" Okay, she sounds more than happy about breakfast, I just hope she is still happy after what I am about to say.
"Good, because I love spend time with you both too Lindsey and I also think it's time you tell your mum about Britney." I want Lindsey to tell her mum because I don't like keeping it from her, and now that I am dating Catherine, I don't want to keep things from her. If Catherine found out that Lindsey told me before she told her, they would never find my body.
"Sara, I am not really ready to tell my mum yet." Lindsey said
"Lindsey, I know this is one of the hardest is things you will ever do, coming out to your mum, but I will be right there with you and you will feel so much better once you tell her about Britney." I say hoping Lindsey will come around, and I think she will tell her mum today anyway
"I guess you are right Sara, the sooner I do it the better." Lindsey conceded.
"You know I am always right." I smirk.
"Whatever." Lindsey says laughing her ass off.
"See you soon kiddo, and don't worry about telling your mum about Britney. It will all be okay."
"Okay see you soon Sara." Lindsey said right before she hung up.
I close my phone and turn around to see Catherine right behind me, "Shit Cath, you scared me. How long have you been there?" I ask with a hand on my chest holding my heart, hoping she did not hear anything I said to Lindsey,
"Sorry Sara." Catherine said with a smile on her face. She gave me a quick kiss on the lip's before asking, "So who is Britney?" shit I guess she did hear me.
"How much did you hear?" I wanted to know just how much she hear before I answer her
"See you soon kiddo and don't worry about telling your mum about Britney so I'll ask you again Sara, who is Britney?" Catherine asked not looking too happy right now so I guess I need to tell her something, but I don't want to say anything about Lindsey and Britney being together, that's Lindsay job not mine, but I know I need to say something.
"Britney is a friend of Lindsey's." Okay I know it's not the best thing I could've come up with but it would have to be for now, "So come on honey let's get going, we don't want to keep Lindsey waiting." I say putting my cigarette out and get into the car hoping Catherine would not ask anymore questions. But Catherine being Catherine of course she would not drop it.
She got in the car after I did and before I can start driving she started up again.
"Sara, who is this Britney and why did you tell Lindsey not to worry about telling me about her, and don't you dare lie to me because I can always tell when you are lying Sara?" Catherine say not looking to happy with me what the hell am I going to do now...
I can't lie to Catherine again but I can't go behind Lindsey's back. I can't see a way out of is with me still living, and then it hit me I knew what I had to say so I could get out of this alive, well I hope I could get out alive anyway.
Okay here go nothing, "Cath honey, I love you and I hate lying to you. Britney is a friend of Lindsey's so I really have not lied to you" I say stopping that a red light I look that Catherine hope she is believing what I am telling her.
"But" Okay the woman is a CSI so she knows when someone is lying or not so why would she not know there is a BUT coming to? She's in the right job I will tell you that.
"there is something about Britney you need to know, but I am not going to tell you." I turn back around to see the light is turning green so I start driving again. I was also going to finish what I have to say, but with Catherine in the car and in the mood she is in or getting in, there is No Chance of doing that.
"WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME?" She screamed
Okay Catherine is now yelling at me, that is never a good thing, yep they are never going to find my body, might as well get it over with.
"Because I promised Lindsey that I would not say anything to you. She is the one who wanted to tell you, she only told me because she wants me there with her when she talked to you about it. I know I already say too much BUT, you can't say anything to Lindsey or ask her anything about Britney. You need to let her come to you with all this." I need to stop talk because I really need to breathe and to let Catherine say something if she needs to. We drive along for a minute without saying a word so I decided to start talking again.
"Look Cath, Lindsey is really worried about telling you. She is afraid of how you will react and she really needed someone to talk to. She came to me and I really think that once you two have talked it over it will make the two of you closer. I am so sorry that I can't tell you anything but at the end of the day I made a promise to Lindsey." I stop talking and waited for Catherine to say something, anything and just hope to God she will not kill me. I knew the minute Lindsey said and I quote (Sara please don't tell mum about me having a girlfriend. I want to tell her in my own time.) Yet I knew as soon as she said that I would be dead if Catherine ever found out Lindsey and I could be keeping something from her.
So I guess all I have to do now is wait, and see what happen next.
It has been two minutes, and Catherine still has not said a word. God I don't know if I can take this. If she was yelling that me I'd know where I stand with her, but her not saying a word is killing me. We came up to a red light so after I stopped the car I turned towards her and I am about to ask her to say something, what I see is her coming at me. Yep I am going to die right here, right now. Goodbye world.
And then all I feel is Catherine lips on mine. So this is how Catherine is going to kill me, she going to do it with her lips. Okay I can live was that. Oh no wait she kissing me, okay she's kissing me, why is she kissing me and not killing me? So I guess she not mad at me.
Okay I need to stop thinking and enjoying this, so I am just going to go away and come back in like a minute.
A minute later
Catherine pulled back from the kiss and I see she is crying, "Cath why are you crying?" I ask trying to get my breathing back to normal from one hell of a kiss. "Because Sara I am so happy!" she say wait what? "So you're not mad that me?" I ask when I start to drive again.
"Mad? Sara honey no, I could never be mad that you for being there for Lindsey. I am glad she feels like she can go to you if she feels that she can't talk to me about something, and I am so sorry about yelling at you before. I was just so worried about telling Lindsey we are together that I used this to keep my mind off of it." Catherine said taking hold of my hand in hers and placing a kiss on it, "But I guess I don't need to worry about telling Lindsey now do I? And don't worry Sara, I will let Lindsey come to tell me about her new girlfriend and I think she will once she finds out about us being together. She will tell me." Okay so Catherine now knows that Lindsey has a girlfriend and she's cool with it like I knew she would be. And she's not mad that I did not tell her. I am also glad to still be alive after keeping something from her, and I also somehow kept my promise to Lindsey because I never told Catherine she worked it out by herself, okay yes I may have help a little bit.
We pull up to Catherine's house two minutes later, as we got out of the car we see the door open and Lindsey came running out. She ran over to her mum and hugged her. Catherine in turn kissed Lindsey on the cheek, "Hey baby." Catherine said as she put her arms around Lindsey. God I love watching them together. Lindsey pulled back from her mum and came over to hug me.
"Hi Sara."
"Hi Kiddo you ready to go?" I asked while hugging her back.
But before she could say anything Catherine started talking "Lindsey I think I will make us all breakfast if that's okay with you two." Catherine said before going into the house not waiting for us to answer her. I think I know what she is doing. She wants us to talk but did not want us to be out with people all around us. She wanted us to be alone so we could really talk.
Lindsey and I went into the house to find Catherine, we asked her if she needed some help but all she said is that she would call if she needed anything. So I told Lindsey to go to the living room and I would be there in a minute. I got us something to drink after Lindsey walked away; I walked up to Catherine and put my arms around her.
"Is everything all right Cath?" I ask.
"Yes Sara I'm fine stop worrying so much." She answered.
"I just worry about you and Lindsey sometimes, I can't help it." I say because I do worry about them both I love them both so much it can hurt some time' this last year I feel like I have been a part of a family and I know after today we will be a family.
"Why don't you go to the living room with Lindsey while I make breakfast?"
"Okay call if you need help" I say before giving her a quick kiss then go to get Lindsey and me a drink.
I walk in to the living room to found it empty so I go looking for her to found her in her room looking really worried and I know what it about but I ask anyway, "Lindsey?" That was all I really needed to say to her because we have been here so many times before. Her telling me she is going to tell her mum, and then backing out at the last minute, but not this time.
"I can't do it, I really can't do it. She is going to hate me Sara. I wish I could just go down there right now and say 'hey mum I am gay are you okay with that?' I can't do it to her Sara. It will break her heart when she finds out. I just can't do it."
Okay she said WHEN SHE FOUND OUT. That is good because Lindsey knows Catherine is going to find out sooner or later. I just wish I could tell her Catherine already knows just to stop her worrying about it, but I'm not going to say anything because I think Lindsey needs to tell her mum herself. It's something she needs to do and no I am not telling Lindsey because I am afraid she will think I went behind her back and told Catherine.
I really think that it is something she needs to do. "Look Lindsey, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. And as I told you before, your mum will be okay with it. She is very open minded about things. I mean we meet gay people all most every day." I walk over to Lindsey and pull her into a hug, "Lindsey your mum does not care if someone is gay or not." Lindsey pulled back from me and went to sit on her bed. "But they are not her daughter. I think she will care when she finds out I am gay." I sit next to Lindsey feeling a lot like a mum right now, not that I would care if Lindsey was my daughter. I love her like she was mine. I have always been then for her, especially after her dad was murdered. I felt so bad about not putting them away for the murder of her dad. Yes they are in jail right now, but not for the murder. I felt like I have let both Catherine and Lindsay down. I gave Lindsey my number and told her if she ever needed to talk or anything I would be there for her, and I always have been.
And I know what you are thinking, why am I still alive after Catherine found out I was a part of Lindsey life?
Well after Eddie was murdered, Lindsey started getting into fights at school, and Catherine and Lindsey were always fighting also. I always knew if they had had a fight or not because when Catherine would come into work she always found away to get into a fight with me, or Lindsey would call me to tell me how much she hated her mum, and what her mum had said to her.
Anyway two years after Eddie's death, Catherine and Lindsey got into a really bad fight. They had never had a fight like that before. It was so bad Lindsey ran out of the house and away from her mum. She came over to my apartment. Of course I did not know she ran away from her mum at the time or she had a fight with her mum she told me. She told her mum she was at a friend's house. I did tell her off for lying to her mum not knowing she lied to me, because up until then she had never lied to me before. I told her I would call Catherine to let her know Lindsey was with me and not at her friend's house. Lindsey tried to stop me, but I just told her that if I did not tell Catherine where she was we would both get it. She begged me again to not call Catherine but I told her to go into the bedroom while I called Catherine. I remember the call till this day.
"Hello Lindsey?"
"Catherine It's me Sara. Look I am call becau…"
"Sara I do not have time right now. I am looking for Lindsey can you help me look for her please?"
"Catherine why are you looking for Lindsey?"
"We had another fight, a big one, and she ran out of the house. I'm in my car looking for her right now. Sara, if something happens to her I will never forgive myself."
"Catherine stop, Lindsey is fine. She is here with me. That's why I am calling you, to let you know she was here and not at her friend's. She told me that she told you she was staying at a friend's house tonight. She did not tell me you two had a fight."
"I am on my way to yours. I will be there soon."
"Catherine, Lindsey can stay here with me tonight. It will give you both sometime to cool down. You know where she is and you know she is safe."
"Why did she go to you Sara?"
"Does it matter right now Cath? All that matters is that she is safe and well."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Why don't you come over in the morning with some clothes for her, and you two can talk and try and work is all out. What do you say?"
"That sounds okay I guess. I'll see you in the morning then."
"Alright, goodnight Cath."
"Goodnight Sara, oh and Sara…"
"Yes Cath?"
"Thank you!"
Catherine did come in the morning, she and Lindsey talked everything over and Catherine thanked me for looking out for Lindsey after I told her everything. Of course things started to get better after that day. Yes Catherine and I still have our fights and Lindsey and Catherine have fights too, but I was always there for Lindsey. I think Catherine was grateful for that because she knew Lindsey would be safe with me.
We were all friends Catherine, Lindsey, and I, but we somehow moved from friends to family. Now I am dating Catherine. So I feel like a real mum to Lindsey now, and not a mum on call which reminds me, I am sitting here with Lindsey and I need to say something to stop her worrying so much. God she so much like her mum.
"Lindsey sweetheart, you need to stop worrying so much about telling your mum, as you said she is going to find out sometime right?"
"Yeah I guess, and I know she is going to hate me when she finds out. Why do you think I haven't told her yet Sara?"
"Because you don't want to hurt her, but Lindsey your mum loves you more then you will ever know. And I know that your mum wants nothing more than to see you happy, no matter if it with a girl or boy. I know she won't care just as long as you are happy." I say while smiling at her. And then I pull her back into another hug, just as the door opens and Catherine walks in.
"Hey you two, did you not hear me calling you. Breakfast is ready."
"Sorry mum Sara and I were having a mother daughter talk."
What did Lindsey just say? Mother, daughter? Where did that come from? Yes I guess I've always seen Lindsey like the daughter I never had, and I love her like she is my daughter, but does she really think of me as a mother?
"Sara… earth to Sara…. is anyone home? Sara?"
"What?" I say looking up to see Catherine looking at me funny.
"Are you okay Sara? You kind of zoned out there for a minute?"
"Yeah, I am fine just thinking that's all."
"Okay, c'mon then, let's go eat. Lindsey is already downstairs waiting for us."
Catherine says before give me a kiss and the walking out of the room. I am left sitting on Lindsey's bed thinking.
Catherine knows Lindsey is gay, and Lindsey is worried about telling her mum she is gay. She does not know that her mum already knows. Then you have me saying goodbye to life itself because I thought Catherine was going to kill me for keeping this thing about Lindsey away from her. And oh let's not forget my heart to heart with Lindsey, only to find out she thinks of me as a mother, and all this happened before breakfast. Yep it has been a busy morning. Oh well, let's see what's going to happen at the breakfast table.
I walk in to the kitchen to find Catherine and Lindsey waiting for me that the table "C'mon Sara sit down, mum was just telling me you two need to talk to me about something." oh yeah breakfast is going to be fun.
THE END…