The Complete Idiot's Guide to Skiing

Hey again, it's been quite awhile since I wrote another fic hasn't it? I just haven't been able to get my mind to stay on track you know haha. Well might as well get this over with.

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is not mine nor will it ever be, those lucky b*stard's at Square Enix and Disney own the rights. Also I'm not making any money off this. And no...Sora is not mine either *sniffle*.

Well wasn't that fun =3

Warning(s): Completely AU, Slash-friendship, BL?, Talkative/Ranting Instructor!Riku.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

During my years as an Instructor for Table Mountain, I've had my fair share of misinformed beginners. In teaching such beginners I've been forced to develop my own brand of teaching techniques; because really, it's not in what you teach them but in how you teach them.

With that in mind my work is usually done in under an hour; I can be quite persuasive. I've heard myself referred to as a jackass or jerk from time to time but at least I get the job done, questionable techniques or not. Actually I think the other instructors are just jealous. This could explain why I'm always stuck with the drooling fangirls and small children. Oh and the clumsy newbies, not to forget them.

I really hate my co-workers.

Wait, did you just hear something? A bell? Oh fuck I'm late. You can follow if you want but I'm not paying for your lesson.

Ding ding

Screw it just come along. Maybe you'll actually learn something. Smirk. Of course you will, I'll be the one teaching you.

Full out running. Silver hair flies everywhere, lucky prick....

-Minutes Later-

Sometimes I thank god the hills are just outside otherwise I'd be in deep shit. It's not that I don't enjoy chatting with people, it's just that it makes me incredibly late. Hence the stoic "I'm hot shit don't touch me" attitude.

It usually repels people like you.

Oh look, my class is here. I thank god it's the last class of the day, simply because teaching gets to be a bore. Especially at my age.

May as well introduce myself.

"Hi my name is Riku and I'll be your instructor for the day. If you have any serious health problems speak up now or get the hell out of my class."

Harsh I know, but it has to be done. Most people are shocked when I say such things. There are seriously ill people who try to learn to ski. In the friggin cold. I'm trying to help them and they still call me a bastard. And people wonder why I'm a jerk. Whatever.

The sick ones like to grumble and complain when they leave, probably to make me feel guilty. Shit, I haven't felt guilt since I was sixteen.

And that was because I ran my car into a dog house and drove away.

- Later -

It's only been a few minutes and I already hate half this class. Angry bastards, the whole lot of em. Okay maybe only a select few.

And this class lasts an hour at most? Oh goodie, forgive me if I don't jump for joy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah I'm ending this chapter here even though I have more pages written for this story. It probably won't be long. Expect the next chapter tomorrow or something haha. I find it funny that this was supposed to be an essay for my Phys. Ed class. Somehow it turned into this. Inspiration pops outta no where doesn't it xD.

Who is Riku talking to anyways? You'd be surprised, I was.

Review! It's better than Oreos!

~RPB