(So this is my comeback after not writing fan fiction for ten years. Yeah. Expect the quality to be just that cough subpar at best cough.
A special thank you to jenny-R for remaining my beta all this time, after meeting via this site twelve years ago!
Disclaimer: I do not and will probably most likely definitely not own Fullmetal Alchemist. This is just an attempt at filling a void in my heart.
This takes place in chapter 84/episode 46 FMAB. For more author's notes, see below.
Thank you again for reading and I hope you enjoy!)
The Other Truth
by EmeraldWolfChild
In all honestly, Edward Elric wasn't sure what he was doing upstairs yet again.
"Being a flippin' idiot, that's what," he muttered to no one in particular. He found himself where he had always found himself in the last week. Outside of Winry's bedroom.
It had started when it became abundantly clear that while the Rockbell residence was roomy, it was nowhere near enough to house a Homonculus, and two Chimera. They were big, they were constantly eating, they fawned over Pinako to the point he swore that the old lady was ready to adopt them, and most of all, they were so goddamn loud.
In an attempt to get some peace and quiet, Ed had begun to search for a place where he could forget about the war, the Promised Day, the quest, and just be home for a few hours. That and he actually wanted to finish his sandwich for once without it being braded as leftovers when it was halfway to his mouth.
So there he was, the place no stranger would enter, a room – as he had found out as soon as he'd arrived – that had not been used for a few months. 'It's only to get away from them,' he'd told himself the first time. Now, he simply accepted the feeling of calm the space provided, whether there was anyone in the house or not. That, and it was a pretty great vantage point out onto the road, in case, you know, enemies came or something.
Pushing the dark wood door open softly, he slipped in as gracefully as he could and was met with the now growingly familiar dimness of the room.
The first thing he always noticed was the smell. Oil, fresh sheets, and lavender from the surrounding fields. And Winry.
"Ch—," Ed gave his head a sharp shake.
"Don't understand why everyone keeps harping on about -."
He closed the door softly behind him.
Walking across to the table, he set down his cup and made sure not to touch any of the work strewn across the surface. Ed knew that if something was even a millimeter out of place, Winry would know, and worse yet, she'd leave a wrench embedded in his skull which you know, if he was being brutally honest, really fucking hurt like did she not know that she could cause a concussion by applying flipping metal to someone's head and most of the time she was even putting in some brutal backhand force…
Ed pulled away the chair and sat down cross-legged, grumbling softly under his breath.
"And she even calls me an idiot even though I have never threatened her with anything nearly as bloody painful! Ch—"
He was being testy and he knew it.
Ed lowered his eyes and took out the sandwhich, a Pinako special filled with turkey, lettuce and tomatoes, his stomach growling, yet his appetite suddenly and noticeably absent. It was probably because it was his last night, and tomorrow was a journey to hell and back, and he needed his strength, and he really hoped Winry would somehow magically come back and make sure his automail was in one piece (because even if it was working perfectly he needed her to let him know he was as whole as he could be in order to finally achieve his goal and be whole), and because he was obviously too good at rationalizing.
"Goddamnit."
He took a bite of his food, closed his eyes and sighed.
"I really am an idiot."
He knew he hurt her every time he left, even more so every time he couldn't get himself to pick up the phone to call. True, half the time he really did forget, but when the thought did occur to him, it was a thought he quickly dismissed with a "Too soon" or "She's busy" or "What would I say?" Calling though…calling would indicate that they weren't going to be "Right back" and while Ed rarely admitted this to Al, but he was acutely aware of the passage of time. He knew that the longer they took - the older they got - the smaller the segment of when their lives were normal shrunk. His time of being nothing but a tool of the military grew, and would continue to grow, until his life consisted of it in its majority.
Ed dragged a hand through his bangs and frowned for a few moments, before his attention was caught by what seemed to be the sound of voices. Glancing outside, he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, although he did feel a small niggling pang of disappointment that yet again, it wasn't Winry, and it might mean he would have to face whatever he had to face tomorrow without her blessings, a realization on his part long ago that his automail from her was just that.
The Promised Day. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, he would make it count. Nothing mattered more than Al, nothing was so burning as his desire to repent and to make sure his younger brother got his body back. There was also saving the entire country, although Ed liked to think of the two events separately if only to somehow ease, quantify, compartmentalize the burden he felt.
For once in his life, there was one event with no option of failure. There was no room for error, or doubt. And it was crushing him. The only way it would stop was if they – he - won.
This would continue to be the one truth Edward Elric would cling onto in the multiple events yet to come following that evening. It would be his one truth to get him through whatever lay ahead for him tomorrow. Today though, for a brief period lasting little over five seconds, he would forget everything and be stunned by another Truth. A Truth that followed a click, a thud, and a rustle.
Ed came out of his reverie rapidly blinking like a man drawn away from a strange dream, and turned his head to find that he wasn't alone anymore. Man, he must have been really distracted. Without him noticing, his mechanic had come in the room and was now standing in front of Ed, seemingly oblivious to his presence.
Edward Elric felt his heart stop, literally stop, as he vehemently would recount for decades later.
'Oh,' he mouthed, an echo of an exhale.
If you asked him if it was from shock, he would say yes. If you hinted that it might be from being dumbstruck at how all of a sudden he was acutely aware of everything about her - her long soft-looking hair, her strong back-, he would vehemently deny it while blushing scarlet. And if you stated it was because he feared for his consciousness, he would haphazardly refer to a period of five minutes that he couldn't remember even years later.
However, that five-second Truth of Edward Elric was this: If Winry were to turn around right then, Ed knew he would not leave.
For a moment, he understood what Greed must feel living in constant avarice. Ed wanted both Winry and to fucking face whatever he was feeling head on with no consequence or distraction. He wanted let himself be selfish. He wanted nothing more than the permission to be greedy.
So he sat there, watching her, begging her to look at him, begging her to not look around for fear of dooming him, all the while drawing no notice from the young woman.
Just like that, it was over. The five seconds passed, as time often does without any sort of consideration, and when Winry turned around with her shirt hiked up enough for him to experience another not entirely new feeling of desire, it was with a shriek loud enough to reverberate around the house.
As Ed steeled himself under the burning gaze of the blonde in front of him, hearing shouts and what seemed like a stampede trampling up the stairs, he had time to realise yet another small truth before he felt cold metal connect to his skull:
The outside he'd been meticulously watching had vanished from his mind.
(This short was an attempt at merging several things together: 1) Why we found Ed sitting in Winry's room, 2) Ed seeing Winry as Truth in the 5th OP, and 3) Ed coming to terms with a lot of feelings. Basically a catastrophe. Sorry guys.
I'm sorry if Ed is OOC, but as I have said, this needs to get out of my system before I tackle anything bigger, so yeah. So thanks again for reading though!)