Disclaimer-I own neither the movie or the books. I can assure you the plot is fairly original, too.

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Not-So-General News

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Dear Hermione,

How are you? I am not so great. I'll put it plainly. It has just been sucking here.

How are the relatives? Mine are the same as ever. Dudley got fatter, if that's humanly possible, and he insists on searching my room to make sure I'm not hiding money or food. I think Vernon prompts him to do that.

Petunia pussyfoots around, afraid of her own shadow. She's always giving me strange looks. Hey, would it be possible that she is remorseful for how she has treated me these past 15 years, actually liked my mother and was a witch as well, but something went horribly awry in their 5th year, somehow involving Snape, Lucius Malfoy, and Bellatrix Lestrange, and they became estranged and never saw each other ever again?

Note the sarcasm. But that'd make a good story for a novelist with a lot of time on his/her hands, eh?

I've been practically living with Mrs. Figg for the past week. She's my local connection to the magical world. I don't even mind her cats. By the way, there's this one silver tabby she calls Wizzles who I think would be a great match for Crookshanks.

You can see how much time I've had on my hands.

Well, I need my laughs when I'm having the nightmares. Not ones about Voldemort, don't worry. I've no clue what he's doing now. Mostly it's dreams about Cho dumping me, Cedric dying, Sirius dying, and about how much danger I'm putting you, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna in. You know, fun stuff like that.

I wrote to Ron a bit ago, a letter completely unlike what I've written here. I told him I was fine. However, he seems to be getting better at reading inbetween the lines, because he wrote back "Harry, you're coming to the (Can't write when or where, in case this is hijacked) whether you like it or not", so I shall be spending time with him if you want to owl me.

I miss you a lot, and Hagrid, and Hogwarts, and even McGonagall yelling at me. I even miss Rita Skeeter writing stupid stuff about us, because that seems so trivial compared to now.

Visit us at the --- sometime.

The-Boy-Who-Lived-And-Refuses-To-Die,

Harry

P.S. Here are my O.W.L grades; I just got them:

O-Defense Against The Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms

E-Herbology, Transfiguration

A-Astronomy, History of Magic, Potions (Better than I thought for these three)

P-XX

D-Divination

T-XX

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Dear Harry,

Dear God, Harry, of course I'll visit you at the ---! I'm properly ashamed of myself for not writing first! I was so insensitive and sulky, all because Viktor wrote to tell me he wanted to break it off!

I didn't tell you about that, did I? He's got a new girlfriend in Bulgaria: Freda something-or-other. I suppose we'll just be friends. Long-distance relationships never work.

About the letter you sent Ron, he wrote to tell me about it before you wrote to me. I told him to insist on inviting you. He was a bit nervous about it, thinking that we'd have some opposition from the high-ups in the --- of the ---, but there have been no protests against it. But you're right about him reading inbetween the lines more. He was worried enough to ask me for advice. That says something.

Harry, I keep reading your letter and I just feel so horrible about everything you're going through. I can't make you feel better about Sirius dying, but I want you to have something that will take your mind off things.

Something came by owl post. It's an advertisement for a play the Ministry is sponsoring. Apparently they need something to raise the magical world's morale, so they figured on doing a production of the Muggle movie Jesus Christ: Superstar. They figured it appropriate, since lots of wizards have found a new lease in Church since Voldemort publicly came back. I expect they'll get lots of criticism from non-Christians, but I suspect they don't have access to many religious Muggle musicals, so it was the best they could do.

Harry, what if we all—you, Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna (I suppose) and I—go out for it? It would be a nice project to take our minds of our problems for a little while. And you needn't worry about our safety. Members of the --- of the --- are supervising the whole thing. And the tryouts don't actually take place inside the Ministry, but in Diagon Alley.

Ron thought I was mad for suggesting it, but Ginny loved the idea, and even Ron liked the idea of the money—cast and crew are paid in Galleons. He's determined to make more money than Fred and George.

Let me know what you think.

Lots of Love,

Hermione

P.S. I received O's in all my O.W.L. tests. I was sincerely worried about my Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures exams. I heard I was only 10 points away from an E on C.O.M.C.

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Hey mate, Hermione owl you about that play yet? It sounds like rubbish—I guess I'm not a huge Ministry fan—but the money sounds nice. And Mum wants us to go out for it. She says the world's headed for a complete religious collapse and this is the first smart thing the Ministry's done in years. I guess it would be nice to distract us from our problems, but I'm not sure if I'd want to go out for it with Luna. She scares me, mate. She's written to me over the past week every other day, and she talks as if we're dating. Harry, I honestly think she fancies me!

Better send this before Ginny sees what I've written about Luna.

-Ron

P.S. Dean and Ginny broke up. I swear that my threatening letter telling him to treat her like a lady or else die a painful, injury-ridden death had nothing to do with it.

P.P.S. Here are my O.W.L. grades:

O-Defense Against The Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures

E-Herbology, Charms

A-Transfiguration, Astronomy, Potions (Can you believe those? I expected D's!)

P-History of Magic, Divination (Just barely for Divination)

D-XX

T-XX

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Dearest Ronald Rupert Weasley,

Hermione Granger owled me not long ago to tell me about this play. I would very much enjoy trying out for it with you.

I think you very much deserve to win the part of Jesus. Only Harry Potter could deserve it more.

As for myself, I think I would like a small part, perhaps as Joanna or Susanna. Perhaps even Claudia or Veronica, otherwise known as Seraphias, would be nice. Salome, I believe, would be best.

Affectionately yours,

Luna Diana Artemis Phoebe Gwendolyn Lovegood

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Luna,

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME????!!!!!

-Ron

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Hermione,

I guess it sounds sort of fun. I certainly wouldn't mind the extra money, and having something to do would be nice. Maybe I could leave Privet Drive for --- sooner than expected.

I'll have to owl Dumbledore for permission, of course, but I'll get back to you.

Love, Harry

P.S. 10 points away from an E? Gasp! The horror! The axis of the Earth has tilted! The Arctic Poles have melted! Snape proposed to McGonagall! AAAAAHHHHH!!!

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Harry,

Ha-ha.

By the way, Neville is trying out, too.

-Hermione

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Harry,

I think it is a wonderful idea for you to try out for the play, so long as it doesn't interfere with your defensive training. Good luck with the try-outs.

Sincerely,

Headmaster Dumbledore

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Ronald Rupert Weasley,

I know you frightened Dean into breaking up with me. All I can say is to sleep with one eye open. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

-Virginia Bonnie Weasley

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Hey, I couldn't resist a self-plug in Harry's first letter for Harry Potter and the Bond of Hearts.

Also, I'm not sure just how religious I'm going to get with this. Jesus Christ: Superstar wasn't a very religious movie to begin with, as it focused in more on the psychological/emotional aspects of Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene. Don't flame, I hate people accusing me of religious ignorance.

Also, for people who don't know, Joanna and Susanna are two disciples. Claudia was Pilate's wife, who told Pilate to let Jesus off because she'd had a dream about him and knew he was innocent. Veronica, AKA Seraphias, was known for wiping Jesus's face with her veil when he fell in the road and they were trying to get Simon to help him carry the cross. Salome is another disciple, who stayed with Mary Magdalene and Mary, Mother of God, and I think she might have been one of Jesus's sisters.

This is going to follow Jesus Christ: Superstar but shall be changed to incorporate parts of The Passion of the Christ.