A Complete Guide to Caring and Providing for your SnK/AoT Character

Dedicated to Isayami Hajime.
Actually, no, it's not. He's a murderer.

So... just think of it as being dedicated to you, to everyone, because...

SIE SIND DAS ESSEND UND WIR SING DIE JAGER.

Period.

Barnes and Noble's Snippet

Because Erwin told me to put this.

-2006-

Isayami Hajime was where ever Isayami Hajime was. The setting doesn't matter. Not that I could tell you. I wasn't even ALIVE then. But all that matters was what he was doing.

"HEY, HAJIME-KUN!" The manga artist looked up from whatever he was doing, Sudoku or dioshin manga or paying bills or whatever. Standing in front of him was a blank, grey figure with a homicidal aura surrounding it (in other words, this is his Imagination). "I HAVE AN IDEA FOR YOU!"

Imagination continued, not letting him get a word in. "Okay, so why don't we have these giant humanoid creature thingies - let's call them titans, not for the mythological references, but because it sounds as cool as a fair number of cucumbers - and have people that..." The figure continued to explain some key points because, after all, this is a rough draft of Shingeki no Kyojin. "BUT. Plot twist: You - Yes, you, Hajime-kun - create a one-shot about this now, wait about six years, and then make it into the best manga/anime series EVER!"

Needless to say, Hajime agreed.

-2012-

"Heeeeeeey, Hajime-kun," Imagination called out (again). The grey figure skipped up to him, holding his hands behind his back. "Look at what I brought you!" He showed the artist his hands, and a little, tiny character was sitting in his palm. Hajime stared at it. "I call him Eren Yeager. Isn't he cute?"

Hajime took the tiny Eren into his hand. Eren, having fallen flat on his face in the transfer of hands, sat up. Eren looked at his new creator, all cute and innocent like. After the passing moment of cuteness, there was a small growl.

"Eren's hungry," Imagination informed him.

Just then, little Eren stood up and waddled towards his fingers. Hajime made sure to keep his fingers close, least something happen to his soon-to-be star! Eren held onto his pinky for balance. And he slowly, open his mouth, and nibbled on Hajime's fingers.

And... it... really... hurt! Eren has the teeth of a... of a... self cannibal!

His imagination took Eren away from him. "I'm so sorry," the grey figure quickly apologized, cradling the young character close to him. "It was an accident.

Isayami Hajime nodded, acting cool and like nothing was wrong. He especially acted like it didn't hurt, even though there was a minuscule droplet of blood on his fingertip. But I think we all knew what he was thinking...

I'm going to make you suffer.

Your friends are going to suffer.

Everyone's going to suffer... BECAUSE OF YOU!

Stahp, Hajime-kun. Just stahp.

You see this, ladies and gentlemen? This is abuse. One of the worst kinds of abuse... character abuse. This is neglecting his characters, sometimes to the point of dying. Bad, manga artist. Bad.

But... it's okay. Even the... 'best' people need help sometimes (Have you ever seen Jean?). So, I've taken it upon myself to write a how-to guide... for the caretaking of characters! Especially when those characters are facing after death on a daily basis. And who better to ask... than a character herself?

Written by a (un)certified scientist, professional fangirl, and part-time lunatic, Hange Zoe, A Complete Guide to Caring and Providing for your Snk/Aot Characters is coming to you at a local online store in September of 20never!

AN: So. Hello there. I really don't know what to say! XD My first piece for AoT. Watch this fail, lol.

This thing will be fully edited, decorated, and dressed up to look pretty by tomorrow. I was scribbling about this all day, and this is the end result.

Thank you for reading, and please review!