AN: A few days ago, I had this idea of Solana working as a Spectre - and being the one to evaluate Shepard, instead of Nihlus. Also, I'm a fan of turian/human relationships and since there are very few of those with female turians out there, I wanted to bring this part in as well. However, there is a backstory for the OC (and don't worry, he is not SI), which will be told in more detail, as the story continues.
Since this is my first FanFic, I would be very grateful for your reviews (especially those, who tell me what I could improve). Enjoy reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, the Mass Effect universe or any characters within - they belong to BioWare.

Chapter 1: Guilt

Huerta Memorial Hospital, Citadel Praesidium 2183

"You can see her now. She is aware of her surroundings, but we doubt that she will be able to talk or move within the next hours or even days," the young asari doctor said. Garrus nodded and silently stepped into the room.

Julius Hon wanted to give his friend some privacy, so he sat down on one of the benches in the middle of the main floor of Huerta Memorial.

Don't fool yourself, Jul. That's not the real reason you don't want to go in there, he thought.

True, he really didn't want to go in there. Julius hadn't wanted to come to Huerta at all, but Garrus had threaded to shoot him if he wouldn't – and it hadn't been a joke.

So now Julius sat here, in front of the door to her room, and waited for Garrus to finish talking to her. Well, he hoped that the C-Sec Officer never came out again. Julius was not sure, if he was able to face her. Even after all this time. Even if she couldn't respond to him.

After what felt like a few minutes, through Julius was sure it was much longer, the door opened again and Garrus stepped out. His ice blue eyes pieced into Julius' brown ones and for a few seconds neither of them spoke a word.

They didn't need to. They knew, what each other would say, since they had this conversation many times before. Too many times, Julius thought. He practically heard Garrus say 'You are going in there now. You have been hiding long enough. Don't keep up with this shit, it's pointless.'

Julius didn't react. He knew that Garrus was right. He knew that all the time, since he had started hiding, but Julius was still unconvinced.

"Please, Jul," Garrus said out aloud, "If not for your own good, do it for her."

Slowly Julius nodded. He stood up, stepped to the door, and stopped right in front of it. Julius hesitated.

Am I ready to do this?

No. No, of course he wasn't. He hadn't been all this time. But now Garrus' word echoed in his head: "Do it for her." Julius always had known that someday he would have to face her. Maybe today was this someday.

So Julius took a deep breath and touched the green holo-panel. The door opened itself and he stepped inside. The room was pretty empty. There was only one table in the corner, covered with various tools and medicine bottles, and a bedside right in front of the large bottom-to-ceiling window that provided an astonishing view over the Praesidium.

As his eyes fell on the female turian laying in the bed, he froze. A white blanket covered her nearly completely. Her right shoulder has been bandaged up and blue blood dropped through an IV into her left arm. It seemed, she had lost a lot of blood if a blood bottle was needed.

I wasn't there for her … again.

That hurt. Slowly Julius stepped at her bedside and observed her face. She looked nearly exactly like he remembered her: the silver-grey plates, deep blue colony markings and the short fringe typical for turian females. But she looked older too, not longer the teenager he once knew.

Julius wasn't sure what to do. Since the nurse said, she could hear him, he started to speak.

"Hi, it's … it's me, Jul." Julius stopped, unsure how to continue. Saying he was nervous would be the understatement of the century.

"This morning, Garrus came to me. We both work at C-Sec and he had a new case for us, the investigation of a rogue spectre. Saren Arterius. We've met a couple of humans. Their leader, Commander Shepard, came from a human colony. Eden Prime. It was attacked by the geth!"

Julius still couldn't fully believe that those AIs moved in to the galaxy after 300 years. Why now? Why at all? Well, at least that part was clear: a prothean beacon had been uncovered on Eden Prime. Just as Shepard's ship, the Normandy, came into the system to transport it to the Citadel, the geth attacked.

"As we met the Commander in the Citadel Tower, she was on her way to the Council. But we still had nothing to prove that Arterius went rogue. Garrus asked Shepard, what she knew about him. And do you know, what she told us?"

Julius waited a few seconds, remembering, how the revelation had shocked him. Then, he continued, "The Commander told us that Arterius shot a fellow spectre and that she was heavily injured. And, that this injured spectre is a person, Garrus and I both know very well."

Julius struggled. Now, this was the point at which he decided to make his confession after all. It couldn't get any worse so he decided to get it over with. He already waited too long.

"Well, at least I used to know her very well. We haven't seen each other in what? Fifteen years? I've spent eight years in an asari Monastery. They taught me, how to use my biotics to defend myself. That was right after the accident. After what happened, I … I had to go.

"I stayed in contact with my parents. We've messaged from time to time. But … but I couldn't face your father. Or your brother. And they just handed you over to the cabals. I have told your father that I would look out for you. To not let them know what you are. To not allow that to happen, what happened. And I failed him. I failed you.

"If I was strong enough to fight this asshole off myself, you wouldn't have needed to step in. I forced you to use your biotics in public. I'm responsible that they discovered your potential. I can't even imagine, what the cabals did to you. But I've heard stories about their …methods.

"There was one thing I knew, I could rely on. My guilt. The guilt of my failure. I swore, I never would allow something like that to happen ever again. I went to this asari Monastery on Kallini. The asari there are very powerful biotics and taught me how to use mine to defend myself.

"There was no day, I didn't remember what happened. And … I am sorry. I am sorry that I failed you, that I wasn't careful enough. You trusted me, and I … I wasn't …"

Julius fell silent again, his voice failing him.

He wished, he could change the past. He wished, that this very day hadn't went that way. But it had. And there was nothing for Julius to do. All he could do, was to suffer from the knowledge that he destroyed her chance of a normal life that day.

Julius shook his head. Now, that he told her what he felt, the weight on his shoulders was not as heavy as before. It was still there of course, his guilt wouldn't disappear just because he talked to her about it, but maybe Garrus was right. Maybe talking to her would help him to overcome his guilt someday.

Julius raised his hand to caress her mandibles, but stopped.

You have no right to do that anymore.

Instead, he laid his hand on hers, five fingers enclosing her three taloned ones and said: "Come back soon. Shepard needs your help against Saren Arterius. And … I need you to forgive me. Even if I can't forgive myself."

Especially, if I can't forgive myself.

Julius let go of her and slowly walked to the door. Before he left, he looked back at her, peacefully resting on her bedside, and whispered: "Bye … Sol."