The Iron Boob

by sonicfan777

Drake and Josh are kidnapped by terrorists and forced to build them a bomb. But instead, they have a little surprise for the terrorists: The Iron Boob, a robot suit of armor! They defeat the terrorists, and soon, The Iron Boob becomes a popular new superhero. But when Tony Stark sues Drake and Josh for copyright infringement, they get into some deep, deep doo-doo.

1. Chapter 1: Kidnapped by Terrorists

Once upon a time Drake and Josh were in the Middle East on a nice stroll through the desert when… THEY WERE KIDNAPPED BY TERRORISTS.

"You build us bomb or we blow up your face!" said Mohammad, the leader of the terrorists.

"Yeah!" said all the other terrorists, who were coincidentally also named Mohammad.

"We're not scientists, man!" said Josh. "We're just high schoolers. HIGH SCHOOLERS!"

"I don't speak English," said Mohammad.

"Me neither," said Mohammad.

"None of us do," said the rest of the Mohammads.

"But aren't you speaking English right now?" asked Drake.

"I only know how to say 'I don't speak English' in English," replied Mohammad.

"You just said a bunch of other words in English," said Drake, who always had to keep pushing things.

"Shut up, fool!" shouted Mohammad.

"Yeah, shut up," agreed the other Mohammads.

The Mohammads locked Drake and Josh in a laboratory in a cave. "You can come out when you build us bomb!" said Mohammad.

"But we don't know how to build bombs!" Josh protested.

"Of course you don't," said Mohammad, "There is 'can do' and 'cannot do.' There is no 'knowing how.'"

"What?" said Drake and Josh at the same time. Drake looked at Josh. "Dude we gotta stop doing that," he said.

"Doing what?" asked Josh.

"Saying the same thing simultaneously," replied Drake.

"Since when do you know big words like 'simultaneously?" asked Josh.

"ENOUGH!" interrupted Mohammad. "We will be back in 3 days. If you no have bomb for us, we make you go boom." He started to exit the room.

"But wait, said Drake. "Aren't you gonna give us food?"

"Or water?" asked Josh.

"Or Mocha Cola?" asked Drake. Josh shot him a look. "What? I don't like water," said Drake.

"Headaches!" said Josh. "You give me HEADACHES!"

"You will find everything you need in the corner," said Mohammad with a chuckle, as he left the lab, locking the door behind him.

Drake looked in the corner. "Hmm…" he said, looking at the vittles given to them. "A gallon of water and a box of reduced fat Wheat Thins."

"Excuse me? Mr. Terrorist, sir?" Josh called out loudly. "Are the Wheat Thins gluten-free?"

"Will you shut up?" said Drake, annoyed, "They don't care about your stupid glue-free diet."

"Um, Drake?" said Josh, leaning in to Drake's ear. "IT'S CALLED GLUTEN," he shouted in Drake's ear.