Hi to anyone who reads this! I'm totally new to post in on this... So be gentle... Lol x) be been wanting to post a story on here since forever! So I hope you all enjoy this little bit I've made. If people like this enough I'll post the rest of this story.. Heheh. :) I know my spelling and grammer arent really that great... So please look past that and read the story and tell me what you think! :D

As fare as my story goes its based off the 2012 version of ninja turtles. This particular story takes place about a year after they return to New York. I didn't follow the shows progress, I thought it was a little too easy for them to just wrap everything up... But any way! This my version of how things might of turned out... Now just to note- I'm a huge fan of the 2k3 ninja turtles and the episode Same As It Never Was. So it may seem like I've taken bits and pieces from that plot.. Yes! If i post the rest of this story there will a lot of blended bits from 2k3 into this version of our fave but kicking turtles and my story. This fic can be read by its self, but it is part of a larger picture. So if all goes well... You all will see how things play out from this point and way before this point in the story.

Just so you know! I own nothing! Not the characters or scenery or the original plot or what not! Im just borrowing them for the sack of attempting to male an awesome story.. Lol! I do own the characters I made up for this story and plot..

ENJOY! ^_^

~a whole year...~ he thought as he placed the home made candle on the ground and lite it. Sitting down on his legs, the young hybrid sat in silent melincoly. ~its been three hundred sixty-five days... Since you... where taken from us.~ the young man sighed softly, the tears he had been trying to hold back all day finally spilling from his blue gray eyes and starting to soak the blue strip of cloth across his face.

~mikey doesn't break down as much any more... But today is different... I haven't seen him all day. He's been so quiet all week... And i saw him crying into a batch of cake batter yesterday.. I'm sure he was trying to make something to make us all feel better.. But even Mikey has his limits... I saw the mix in the trash not long after.~ he staired at the small light of the candle for a few long moments. ~He's most likely sobbing his eyes out in his room right now.~ there was a soft sad sigh, ~Today.. He'll cry all day, I'm positive. Maybe for the next few. He's been trying so hard to hold back, to be strong for all of us in his way... But he misses you. We all do. And today, Not even raph has the strength to tell our baby brother to get over it.~ a tiny smirk worked its way to his lips, ~yes.. Raph is still just as rough and dishes out his tough love when we need it... Like you asked him to. But... Today.. Even he allows himself grieve. I haven't seen him all day either...~

The tears kept soaking the blue matterial as the young man continued his ritual. He took a incense out of the small satchel he carried and with the same lighter, lite that as well.

~we miss you, little brother..and love you. I miss you. I love you, little brother.~ he hiccupped and tried to bite back a sob. ~im so sorry... For many things.. You'd probably think this silly of me.. But, I am. I'm sorry for not listening to you more.. Not just listening to your techno babble... For other then mission perpossessing. Just listening period. For letting you lock yourself in your lab and thinking you could fix everything on you own.. Fix yourself on your own. Cause that's what you did, you fixed everything. For underestimating your other strengths, besides your brains. You where always so caring and conciderit of others.. So gentle. Always so selfless.. You did everything you could for us first.. Then everyone else after.. And any spare time you had after that you where using it to plan a head... Again, for us. But most of all I'm sorry for not being able to... To... Save you... To Protect you.. When you needed us the most... We weren't there.. At least not in time. You where never late... I'm so-~ he halted his thoughts as his consciousness tingled at the new presence behind him.

Had the presence not been a known one, he would have been on his feet in a blink of an eye. But he knew this presence well and relaxed as he heard it approach him.

"...hey." Raph's voice greeted quietly, knowing his older brother already knew he was there.

"Hey..." Leo answered back softly. He turned to give his younger brother the OK to join him. He knew at any other time raph would have just barged in on him, but today he knew better. He had too much love and respect for his family to just barg in on things like this. He wouldn't have gotten any closer without approval.

He waited patiently as raph limped over to him. At any other time, he would've lectured him on his carelessness and stubbornness.. Any other day... He would have been willing to fight with and drag his stubborn brother back to base and force him to rest some more.. As he was sure, that any other day raph would've been too stubborn to use his crutchs.

It took some maneuvering and an helpful arm from his big brother, but raph managed to sit without dropping harshly on the hard ground and injuring himself further.

"You good?" Leo asked as gently as possible. Raph was still raph after all, he hating being weak. He had to tread carefully if he didn't want his peace blown to bits.

"Yeah, I'll be alright for a while." Raph answered without any heat to his voice.

Leo tried not to look supprized. But raph was being even more subdued then normal.. AND admitted he had limits!

"*sigh* can you stop looking at me like I've grown an extra head or something? Even I have respect for the dead..." That second comment was like being punched in the face for Leo. He jerked like he had been hit, raph's face also taking on a pained expretion. "Sor-" he started, but Leo raised his hand to stop him.

"No, I'm sorry. And I know you do.. It just that.." He gave his brother a sheepish look, "its not something I'm use to." Raph gave a little scoff and grin.

"Hmph.. Well, I wouldn't be a good brother if I didn't respect... Last wishes.." He said last part almost too low to be heard. They both got very quiet after that.

For a few minutes they stayed deathly silent. Then raph seemed to get agitated. Leo side glanced at him wearily.

"Would like me to-"

"Ugh! No! Alright!? Its just... Its... Ugh! Embarrassing, OK!? You weren't suppose to be here..!... I-i didn't expect you to be here... I'm just not use to having an audience, OK?..." He huffed, his checks growing darker with embarrassment, "and no, you don't have to go. Cause that ain't right.. And I wouldn't do that to you or him! So don't you dare move your ass!"

Leo raised his hands in surrender, again supprized a the confections of 'weakness'. "OK, OK! I'm staying..."

They went back to being silent again for a few long minutes, then-

"Hey, buddy.." Raph said softly. Leo turned a bit to look at him and see if his ears where playing tricks on him. Raph had never called him 'buddy'... Never even just used just the word 'buddy' on Mikey. He always called Mikey 'little buddy' or him 'fearless' or 'bro'... His younger brother never even used the term 'big bro' on him.. He only ever used "buddy" on one of his brothers.. "Yeah, yeah.. I know i should be more careful. But things got rough and I had to be the shield. I'm not going to stop doing that, alright? You asked me to keep being me.. And that's what i'ma do regardless if ya ask it or not.. But.. Well, I know why you made me promise.. So.. Yeah." Raph continued as he side glanced Leo. A look of daring, but underlined trust in his eyes. He expected him to understand. He looked back at the pile of broken sky scraper and finished in a whisper, "Gotta protect... Our family."

Leo smiled warmly and turned back to his candle and insence. Raph inwardly sighed in relief. In his heart he knew his brother would understand, but his mind was a little harder to convince.

"Things have been really rough this past year... Especially without you.. And I'm not just talking about your brains and all, so don't even go there... Just little things... Like the sound of you typing way into the late hours.. The smell of coffee, no one else likes that junk.. *sigh* I think the thing we miss the most is... Your level head and gentle touch.." He paused for a few moments, "things got a little crazy for a while.. Me and Leo started fighting more.. Yeah, I know, big suprize, but this was... Worse.. Then before." He chuckled a bit, "but would ya believe it, Mikey actually knocked some since into us.. Literally." He absentmindedly rubbed his now healed jaw, the phantom pain of a nunchuck smashing into it giving a little throb.

Leo cringed as well, from both the memory of their fight and the knock to the head had received as well.

It had been a bad fight... One that might've ended in very well lead to someone getting seriously hurt and would've ripped the family apart in more ways then one. Grief and fear had taken hold of both and them being to stubborn to admit it.

Mikey was usually the one to try to end fights with laughter or hugs or being annoying enough to redirect his brother's anger. Donnie on the other hand would try to end fights with words... And if worse came to worse- well placed force. But he never aimed for their heads...

That seemed to a Mikey thing.

"But we managed, some how... With help and each other. So don't worry to much, k? Me and Leo are OK now, we're still... Bros. That isn't gonna change, ever. We just.. Need to be smacked out of it every now and then.. That use to be you... Its just... Just.." He growled and weakly punched the ground next him in an attempt hold back his emotions. "Its just hard without you... And it gets to us..." He stopped talking for a moment and took a couple of deep breaths. Raph then sighed with annoyance, "yes, I know I'm all banged up and shouldn't be out here.. But... Your worth the risk, so shut up... I'll take it easy after this... Promise." Raph mumbled and then got quiet.

Leo thought he might've been done, but then he heard a chocked back sob. It took all he had not to try and comfort his younger brother. He didn't want to intrude, this was suppost to be privet, he had no right.

"Love ya, little bro..." Raph managed to chock out around the lump in his throat. "M-miss you.." His hand gripped his crutch as he let himself finally fall apart and grieve.

Leo turned his head a bit more away, fresh tears flowing from his eyes. After a few more moments of his own, he bowed his head and whispered a prayer in Japanese and blew out the candle. He then snuffed out the insence and waited for them to cool before placing them in his bag. He stood and bowed once more before turning away to give raph more privacy.

"Leo." He heard raph call out to softly him. He faced his younger sibling with a questioning look and waited for him to speak. "I need some help." He said softly, not really looking at his older brother. The elder just nodded and walked back over, bending down to put raph's arm over his shoulders and carefully lift him up. He didn't let go till he was sure raph was steady. "Thanks."

"No problem." Leo smiled gently at him.

"No, not that.. Well, not just for that.. But, Thanks." He said again, emphasizing the last word. Leo staired for only a moment, then it clicked what raph was truly saying thanks for. He just smiled and said,

"Your welcome."

After a moment of silence, raph leaned forward a bit and snagged Leo in a tight one armed hug. Leo was a bit more supprized now.. He was rarely hugged by this brother. He could only remember a handful of times before this... and they had been under extream cases... And maybe just a hand full more times before they turned 8 years old.

"Love ya, bro." Raph mumbled into Leo's shoulder. "I'm sorry I never say it often... For.. Being too macho and just cowardly to. For it to take this extram to happen to tell you... Any of you..." He released a quiet sob, but continued, "But I-i do. Always have, always will.. No matter how much we fight. I love you, Leonardo."

Leo was speechless, but he mentally kicked himself and hugged his younger brother back.

"I love you too, Raphael. Always have.. ALWAYS will." He whispered back, tightening his grip on his brother. "I'm sorry as well.."

They stayed like that for a few more moments. Then pulled apart slowly, smirking at each other. Leo placed a fond hand on his brother's head and rubbed softly. A gesture he hadn't got to indulge in since they where kids, due to his brother's "I'm too tough!" attitude. Raph just smirked at him knowingly and allowed his older brother to do so this once.

"Let's go." Leo said after a another moment. "I bet Mikey could use some bro love too." He saw raph pale a bit with worry.

"Oh man... Mikey! I haven't seen him since yesterday!" He gave Leo a worried look.

"Me either... And he looked very broken up when i saw him last." They eyed each other with a knowing and equally worried look,

"Let's go." They said at the same time and moved as fast as Raph's broken leg would allow.