Disclaimer: I do not own the Clique

Disclaimer: I do not own IHOP

Disclaimer: I also do not own this story. I wish I had come up with this pure genius, but this is in fact the work of my best friend Darling Juju.

The Block Estate

Front Lawn

November 17th
7:25 P.M.

"So where are we going tonight?" Claire Lyons directed her light blue gaze at Massie Block.
Massie shrugged and pretended to rifle through her expensive Chanel bag. "I don't know..."
"What?!" Dylan Marvil screech-screamed, attracting the attention of the perverted old man across the street. "You hassled us for outfits for a week for NOTHING?"
Her suspicious dark green eyes darted across Massie's exasperated face like a panning camera.
"Duh-ylan," Massie drawled. "Calm down. Derrick said the boys are going to take us out for a romantic dinner."
"A romantic dinner?" Alicia Rivera's dark brown eyes sparkled in the dim light.
"Yep. Something that Plovert has ahb-viously never taken you on," Massie turned to Kristen Gregory and jabbed her ribs with her pointy elbow.
"HEY!" Kristen turned deep red as the girls giggled. "He has."
"Maybe to Burger King," Claire managed.
"HEY!" Kristen argued with her blond friend and blushed again.

The girls high-fived her and laughed openly in Kristen's face until a fast wind began gathering.
"I'M COLD!" Alicia hugged herself and hopped up and down.
"Well, you know, it's only fifty-seven degrees outside," Olivia Ryan, the newest member of the Pretty Committee, burst in.
Everyone stared at her in amazement just as a sleek black Mercedes pulled up. The dark window rolled up and Cameron Fisher grinned at them.
"The boys are going to pick up their girls," he said as Alicia hopped into the Mercedes and waved at the girls as the window rolled up.
"Stupid Alicia gets to go there first," Massie mumbled as the car sped off.
Her clones nodded in agreement.
Before she knew it, an electric blue Mustang came roaring down the Block's ample driveway.
"JOSHIE!" Olivia threw herself into shotgun and the girls got a view of the kissing duo just as the door closed.
"Where are they?" Dylan asked.

No one responded, and the brisk air nipped at their cheeks and threatened to muss their perfectly styled hair.
"Um, who is that?" Claire burst out laughing as a rusty Oldsmobile pulled up.
Someone reached over and manually drew the window down.
"Mass!" Derrick Harrington looked positively overjoyed.
"DERRICK?" Massie jumped back and stared at him in a 'oh-hell-no' way.
"Yeah. My Lamborghini got trashed, so the Pops lent me his ride."
Derrick patted the musty seat and a metal spring shot up.
"EW! I am nawt going with you!" Massie pleaded.
A confused frown graced Derrick's pretty-boy features and he cut the engine. Then he got out of the car, tucked Massie under one arm, and led her to the Oldsmobile.
"DERRICK CHRISTOPHER HARRINGTON LET ME DOWN!" Massie roared like Amy Winehouse being pulled back to rehab.

"Bye Massie!" Her cronies sing-songed, taking camera-photos with their expensive limited-edition phones.
Massie stopped trying to release herself to flip her elegantly manicured middle finger at them. They waved as Massie and Derrick sped off.
"Are you trying to make my life a living hell?" She growled and folded her arms across her tiny chest. "Do you know how many gossip points they'll get?" She demanded.
He was amused, looking at his girlfriend of way-too-many-years and smiling.
"Enlighten me, Massie Block. What are Gossip Points?" Derrick said sarcastically.
Massie ignored him and looked out the window. "Just drive."
Behind them, Claire and Chris Abeley were smooching in his yellow Porsche, and behind them, Kristen and Chris Plovert were cruising in his brand-new silver BMW.
"Kemp!" Dylan squealed as her beau walked up to the Block Estate.
"Where's the car?" She asked suspiciously.

He bowed and blindfolded her. "It's a surprise."
Dylan felt her facial expression soften and smiled. "Oh really?"
She smoothed her clammy hands over her Little Black Dress and shifted from one Manolo'ed shoe to the other.
"Yep." He purred in her ear and led her down the Block's hill.
"Where are we?" She asked after five silent minutes of walking. She sniffed the air and smelled gasoline and pretzels.
"We're here," Kemp fumbled with something from his pocket, led Dylan up three steps, and sat her down.
"Okay. Open your eyes!" He whipped the red checked bandana off, and Dylan screamed.
Fluorescent lights poked her eyes, and the nauseating scent of mixed perfumes intoxicated her throat. She doubled over.
"THE PUBLIC BUS?" She scream-cried.
"Hey lady, be quiet!" A short Italian man with a bushy mustache glowered at her.
But Dylan kept whacking Kemp with her expensive black Chanel clutch.
"HOW COULD YOU?" She cried, wiping the tears from her mouth.

"Dyll, calm down. My parents needed the car," he pleaded.
"Be quiet." Dylan tried standing, but toppled over.
Two teenaged girls arguing over the Jonas Brothers snickered as Dylan plopped on the floor.
"Let me help you," Kemp held out his left hand to help her stand, but Dylan shirked from him like he was contagious.
And he probably was.
"NO! Don't TOUCH ME!" She pulled a Luna bar from the clutch and began chewing.
"Why are you eating?" He asked, a blank stare on his face.
"DON'T BOTHER ME!" She screeched, yanking a bag of Lays from the clutch and chewing loudly.
"How did that all fit in there?" Kemp asked, amazed.
"NO REASON!" She roared, pulling a liter of Coke out of the tiny purse and struggling with the bottle cap.
Two Twinkies, a bottle of Vitamin water, and a puzzled and disturbed Kemp later, he yanked the bag from her clutches.

He popped the bag open and a swirly vortex appeared.
"What the crap?" He gasped loudly, cautiously sticking his finger in.
A tiny vanilla doughnut appeared, and he happily licked the cream off his pointer finger. Several people gave his disturbed looks, and he yanked a tub of Chubby Hubby Ben&Jerry's out and began to eat.
"Now you're talking my language," Dylan said, an evil smile pasted on her face.
She dug in with him and joyously savored the frozen treat.
Meanwhile, Cam and Alicia had just pulled up to the restaurant, and he blindfolded her.
"Oh, Cammie!" Alicia squealed. "What are we going to eat?"
"Shhh, Leesh," Cam whispered and blew in her ear, causing her to erupt in a series of giggles.
He stepped out of the car in the parking lot and helped Alicia out.
"We're almost here," he opened the door and she stumbled into the restaurant.

Her nose turned up and she smelled the air.
"It smells like calories, Cam," she hissed at him.
"No it doesn't," he tried to lighten her up. "It smells like romance."
She burst out laughing and tried to smack him, giggling.
"Table for twelve?" Cam asked, and the waitress led them to a private room, holding Alicia 'round the waist.
"Cam," Alicia whined. "What are we doing?"
"Nothing at all," he whispered mysteriously, and sat her down.
Outside, Olivia and Josh Hotz (yes, you have to call him by his first and last name, because you're not worthy enough of his eternal hotzness) were stepping in, followed by Kristen and Plovert, who had taken a shortcut.
"Jawshie," Olivia giggled, batting the air. "Where are-"
She stopped suddenly and sniffed the air. "It smells like calories."
"No. It um, smells like love." He stalled.

Damn, I sound like freaking Cam, Josh noted, groaning inwardly.
"Awww...Joshie, I love a romantic man," she tried to kiss his mouth but kissed his tie instead. His cheeks flushed.
"We have a private room," Plovert loudly and obnoxiously whispered into the waitress's ear.
The pink-haired temptress led them to the room, where Cam was holding his pointer finger to his mouth. Josh and Plovert sniggered loudly.
Cam waved them off to the side to inform them to be quiet.
"It smells like calories!" Kristen suddenly shouted.
Plovert smacked his forehead and shook his floppy brown hair from side to side.
"KRIS?" Alicia yelled out, groping around.
"Leesh?" Kristen and Olivia tried following her voice, but only succeeded in banging into Plovert.
Plovert's blue eyes shone with pain as they kicked him from different angles.
Suddenly, Massie stomped in, blindfolded with a very reluctant Derrick skipping in behind her.

Claire and Chris Abeley stepped in, her giggling and him tickling her.
"Where are Kemp and Dylan?" Derrick mouthed to Cam, his second in command.
Cam sent him a 'do-I-look-like-I-know-retard-no-wonder-you-failed-fourth-grade' look, and Derr-Bear backed off..
"One. Two. Three," The boys whipped off their girlfriend's blindfolds.
"EHMAGAWD!" The PC screamed at the boys.
"I cannawt-" Massie opened her mouth and shut it, shaking her glossy brunette hair.
The B5 (minus Kemp, plus Chris Abeley) stared at them in confusion and glanced at each other, panicked.
"What's wrong?" Josh cleared his throat and was the first to speak.
The girls looked around in fear. The maple syrup. The calorie counts of WAY over two hundred. The bright lights. The IHOP sign. The sugary aroma that danced around their nostrils.
"YOU TOOK US TO IHOP?" Alicia hollered, demanding an explanation.
Cam braced himself for a hit like Claire, his whiny ex, used to.

"IHOP?" Kristen screeched.
"Oh I love IHOP," Claire chirped in, and Massie hissed at her.
"The International House of Pancakes. For dinner. You took us. Today." Olivia, as the editor of the school newspaper, loved to get her who, why, where, when, why, and how.
"Obviously." Kristen rolled her blue eyes and pretended to be mad, but Plovert knew she loved IHOP.
"We're leaving." Massie said.
"No." Derrick pulled her down. "We're staying."
She looked into those intoxicating spheres of sexiness and lust took over her feelings.
"Fine." She muttered.
The Pretty Committee was amazed at the alpha.
"Hi, I'm Cookie. I'll be your waitress tonight," the bottle-blonde gave a bleached grin.

Then, when she realized who was there, her smile faded.
"Aren't you in my AP Spanish class?" Alicia clarified. As Gossip reporter, she liked to have background information.
"You work here?" Massie snickered. As head of the Pretty Committee, she liked to be a bitch.
"Please don't tell anyone," Cookie's eyes dripped with well-rehearsed tears.
Olivia turned her blonde head to the menu.
"We won't." Derrick smiled, and Cookie looked ecstatic.
Alicia and Massie glared at him, but he continued.
"You must give us the meal for free. You must serve us alcohol. You must serve us the good pancakes. And you must get me a kiddie chair." Derrick said smugly, smiling at Cookie.
Everyone stared at the blond HART, thinking he had gone positively mad.
"What?' Derrick asked as Cookie lugged a kiddie chair into the room.
He hoisted himself into the chair, his thighs stuck in the leg holes.

His large frame seemed doubly hilarious in the chair, and he smiled haughtily while Cookie placed a kiddie menu on his table.
"Ready to order?" Cookie pulled a click-close blue Commerce Bank pen from her loose bun and sighed.
"Do you serve salads?" Massie snapped, getting to the point.
Cookie shook her head and stared at the reddening alpha.
"Well, I WANT salad." Massie hissed at her, pressing the menu into Cookie's innocent palms.
"Bu-Bu-But," Cookie tried defending herself, but the alpha's freaky eyes made that impossible.
"I'll have three strawberry pancakes smothered with strawberries, drizzled with whipped cream, and topped off with a juicy fresh, washed strawberry each." Alicia said brightly.
Cam licked his lips and fanned himself. "I'll have the same."
Everyone licked his or her lips too.
Massie looked disgusted and cleared her throat. "Alicia, good thing Cam loves you even if you're fat, because that's gonna go STRAIGHT to your hips."

Alicia's brown eyes watered, Cam's bicolored gaze narrowed, Olivia and Claire warned, and Kristen scolded the alpha with their eyes.
"I'll have two pancakes." Alicia whispered.
Cookie scribbled onto the pad of paper and nodded.
"I want chocolate-chip pancakes. A full stack of seven, with eggs Benedict," Claire said eagerly, and Chris Abeley held her hand. "We're sharing."
Massie sent her an 'ew' look and everyone glared at the brunette.
"I want three banana-cream-pie pancakes and sausage," Kristen announced.
"I want seven banana-cream-pie pancakes and a butterscotch sundae," Plovert joined in.
Massie's thin lips, shellacked in a potent mixture of M.A.C., Glossip Girl, and Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush, parted open in horror at the fact that people could eat.
"WAHHH!" Derrick yelled, thumping his fists onto the wooden table.

Cookie sighed and flipped to the next sheet.
"Yes?" She asked, staring at the blonde, who jabbered.
"I want twenty silver-dollar pancakes, a Belgian waffle, a strawberry sorbet, and a ton of BACON!" He banged his palms on the flat wooden surface.
Everyone nodded. Massie almost hurled.
"Can we have the 'Pure Meat, Pure Love' centerpiece?" Kristen asked Cookie.
"Sure." Cookie nodded eagerly. "Do you want Italian Sausage or regular?" Cookie asked, pen tip poised above her sheet of paper. "Italian," Alicia licked her lips, grimacing as she swallowed her 'Prada Pink' M.A.C lip-gloss.
"Totally," Cam wrapped an arm around Alicia's shoulders.
"Can you bring us a pound of ham too?" Massie asked rhetorically.
"OMG, that's a great idea!" Olivia shrieked, and Josh nodded in agreement.

"Sure. Cut thin or thick?" Cookie asked.
"THICK!" They all rubbed palms in happiness, and Massie held her stomach in a desperate urge not to puke on herself.
"I think I'm going to be sick," she said.
But between Derrick screaming like a pig, Cam and Alicia having themselves a good snog, Claire and Chris Abeley cooing, Kristen reading the menus, Plovert trying not to break anything, and Olivia and Josh talking about where Kemp and Dylan were, no one noticed her running to the bathroom to hurl and cry.
Not necessarily in that order.