Johanna- Bitter Tears Chapter 1, a hunger games fanfic

"we should give her more today, I don't have to work and she might get reaped" her father muttered in hushed tones. "She'll be fine 12 isn't that many, the Wellston boy has in 50 but I'll slip a little extra just in case. Touch wood." her mother now she used the old phrase of luck. Johanna got up before her mother could come in and shyly wake her, her wonderful mother who worked in the woods scraping together a living, often going without meals so that her children could eat, always a kind word and a little nudge in the right direction. She often felt guilty at the amount that she had entered her name. Both her parents worked in the cutter crews often travelling into the woods for a few weeks at a time. The day she turned 11 she joined them, giving her mother a chance to stay at home with her siblings, scaling tall trees to trim the top most branches for easier felling. She knew lots of kids fell to their deaths even before being reaped, she had taken on the work even knowing the dangers, her mother worked a town job now in the sawmill. At 17 that hard work had given her long lean muscles that made her look skinnier than her district counter parts. She was whip smart despite the fact the school only taught students until they were old enough to join the crews.

She climbed out of bed and put on her reaping dress there had been a lean year when she was 14 and as such she hadn't really grown much. The lean year had been caused by a long winter, when there was no wood the district didn't get as much food, most of her family had nearly starved. Her mother was always saying that the lack of food had stunted her growth staying at the 5'3 mark, so she was able to where the same pink and white dress every year. Her long black hair fell in long waves which her mother would brush lovingly leaving it loose and shining.
"Joey are we getting up?" Camellia mumbled.
"Yes I have to get pretty for the reaping, wouldn't do to look a mess" she sneered at her sibling. Dressing up for the reaping seemed so unimportant.
"but they always look so bloody in the end joey, for my reaping dress I'm going to wear red and black" Johanna sighed there was no explaining to her sister that it wasn't her choice to look pretty but Snow's, good name for an ice-cold murderer. You'll end up wearing the same dress I am until you grow out of it. Luckily with three working adults in the house, she was hoping that Cam wouldn't have to enter her name more than necessary.
"Cam if I could I would, I'd look far better in black anyway. Come mum has cooked breakfast let's eat before the terrible two get it" They giggled thinking of the two twins who were 5 but often managed to out eat their father. The girls slipped out of the tiny room they shared behind the kitchen, it was a pantry but needs meant it was now used by the girls as a bedroom. Food had to be stored in her parents' bedroom where the twins slept. They had a small kitchen the held the old television, it crackled to life showing old Hunger Games footage, Johanna always wondered if they called it that because they starved the tributes so often. It was showing Finnick Odair, he had to be 19 now touting the success of the 70th games, but lamenting that the victor was nowhere near as handsome as him, typical chauvinistic blond prick she thought, he gets on every year and says something about how no-one matches his god-like beauty and how horrible it is for him. His speech is followed by a few "candid" shots of him with different woman hanging off him. Next was one of the careers callously starting into the camera glowering about how easy the tributes had it, and how her games had been far more brutal, Johanna couldn't think of her name until the favourite shoot of her baring her fangs at the screen. Enobaria, luckily the twins were still noisily getting dressed when the shot of her ripping out some poor boys throat is shown on screen. Johanna was just old enough to remember those games, and the creepy lisping speech she gave after, trying to talk around her fangs that occupied her top jaw now. At least practice had made her better at talking. Just at the next victor appeared on the screen a tree rat scuttled out from behind the counter, Johanna threw her knife pinning the thing to the wall, Camellia's followed a few seconds later "Not fair you're faster" the 11 year old whined, "It's because I'm older" she smiled "Mum there's meat for breakfast" she shouted in the general direction of the bedroom, walking over and pulling the two knives out of the wall. It was a good sized rat, about the size of the fox terrier that their escort carried with him everywhere. Her dad took the rat from her hands taking it outside to skin and gut. Her mum sat the twins at the table, Cedar and Birch diving into the mushy grains that had been put in front of them.

The rat was fried in a skillet for the rest of breakfast, fat from the good summer eating, and probably some of the tesserae she paid so dearly for every few months. Eating the little thief served him right as far as the family was concerned. Part of the reason they were so good with the knives was because it was the only way to get meat. Her father had started to teach her when she was to twins age, and starvation had made her good, really good. She dear not show her skill anywhere that someone could see. The peacekeepers might see it as training against them and she had already had one family member whipped till he died at the post in the middle of town. Her cousin displaying the same skill she had shown earlier. Johanna waited for her family to finish their portions of food, despite what her parents had whispered this morning she wouldn't take any food from their mouths. "Eat Joey, here have some more" her mother coaxed. "Don't mum I feel sick already, give it to Cam or the boys." her mother sighed after 5 years she should know the routine by now, I don't eat she coaxes, I still don't eat. For the first time her mother did not try again she just sat and waited with her. Food eventually finished they headed for the square, dishes would wait until the reaping was over. It was the same every year they walked to the town square around 10 am, and mill around catching up with friends, family used to come to but there weren't any now. After her cousin had died his mother slit her own throat, the peacekeepers used it as an excuse to hang her dad's brother for murder. They knew that Elm had to learn that skill somewhere and by killing his parents the evil drones thought they had weeded them out. Johanna hated it, it just reminded her of her cousin, and the girls section looked right at the post where he had died. Every year since she was 13 she stared at that stupid post and watch her mirror image scream himself to death, and every year in made her look weak because she cried. Elm could have been her twin they were born just a few months apart, and he matched her in every way. Curling black hair, dark green eyes, skinny limbs, red lips that had been full of blood due to him biting his tongue from pain. Around 3 pm the head peacekeeper started shouting for them to file into the pens. Like pigs to a slaughter, they line us up to die and every year I get closer to the post she thought, she always stood at the back of her age group hoping that she wouldn't have to see it.

The escort walked onto the stage, his stupid dog in a bag under his arm, Palatine Gordon smiled, he dyed himself blue but changed the colour of his suit every year. This year he wore an awful shade of orange that clashed with his skin and hair horribly. The mayor some fat old man gave the usual speech about previous games and then introduced the previous victors, for such a poor district they had a few, Johanna always assumed it was because of the extra rations they received so they could continue cutting the trees. This year 3 of the five sat in stage, Seed Swint the old woman who won nearly 50 years ago. Bark Trou he won by burning down the arena, Barking Mad they called him now, he spent most of his time locked in his house, and Camellia Trou his sister she won the year Cam was born, she spent most of her time trying to keep Barking from burning things down. As the major concludes his speech Blight pushes onto the stage and sits down. The final victor won't make it he's been dying for several months now of a wasting disease. Palatine walks up to the stage and begins the history of Panem spiel that he goes through every year it follows along with a film in the background, Johanna tunes it out, it's the same guilt about the rebellion every year. Just as the film finishes the crowd shifts Johanna get a full view of the whipping post, and the tears begin, by the time Palatine giggles in his effeminate voice "ladies first" tears a running rivers down her face, she can see Elm screaming his death. "Johanna Mason" the girlish chime comes, she freezes.

The crowd turns to her, but she can't move, eventually peacekeepers come and lead her to the stage. Tears still pouring from her eyes, her nose running, Johanna thinks about how weak she looks walking to her death. Fine she decides as she ascends the Justice building stairs let's play this to my favour let them think I'm weak. She slumps to the ground on her side of the stage, kneeling she lets the grief of her cousin overcome her, her body begins to shake as she sobs in to her hands. Palatine stares at her with pity, Johanna smiles into her hands, its working. Palatine pulls another slip from the other glass bowl "Alder Pavi" his voice breathy as the boy walks to the stage. He is strong, muscular, 6'2 dark blond-haired, his face a mask on anger. Johanna smiles again, she knows him, he's in her work crew and he will make her look even weaker with his brash bravado. She catches herself before the cameras pan back to her, and resumes her weeping but not before she sees Blight's quizzical look. "I present to you your tributes, Johanna Mason and Alder Pavi, May the odds be ever in your favour that girlish twitter is going to get old quick Johanna thinks to herself, as they usher her into the Justice building to await her good-byes. She looks at the single story building it looked like a wood cabin, and was the largest building in town. The train station backed onto it, and most of the distribution was calculated in here. They town had recently packed and moved, following the trees, so there had been little time for the usual ivy growth that covered the other district buildings.

Johanna sat in her room, today was reaping day at 17 she had 35 slips in that hated glass bowl. She had a large family and it was hard being the only child who was eligible for tesserae. Her sister slept in the same bed snoring softly, lucky little thing at 11 years old, thing no worries for her today, Johanna got out of the bed doing her best not to wake her she could sleep a little longer. Her parents were in the kitchen she could hear them whispering
"we should give her more today, I don't have to work and she might get reaped" her father muttered in hushed tones. "She'll be fine 12 isn't that many, the Wellston boy has in 50 but I'll slip a little extra just in case. Touch wood." her mother now she used the old phrase of luck. Johanna got up before her mother could come in and shyly wake her, her wonderful mother who worked in the woods scraping together a living, often going without meals so that her children could eat, always a kind word and a little nudge in the right direction. She often felt guilty at the amount that she had entered her name. Both her parents worked in the cutter crews often travelling into the woods for a few weeks at a time. The day she turned 11 she joined them, giving her mother a chance to stay at home with her siblings, scaling tall trees to trim the top most branches for easier felling. She knew lots of kids fell to their deaths even before being reaped, she had taken on the work even knowing the dangers, her mother worked a town job now in the sawmill. At 17 that hard work had given her long lean muscles that made her look skinnier than her district counter parts. She was whip smart despite the fact the school only taught students until they were old enough to join the crews.