Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers.

A/N: This is just an idea that I had. I hope you enjoy. :) This first part takes place when Buffy and Spike are drinking in his crypt in Life Serial. The beginning dialogue is from that scene, but I take it my own way from there. :)

What it is to Burn

Chapter 1

"You're a creature of the darkness. Like me." She looked at him and he could see the longing in her eyes, the curiosity, the desire--the façade of the peppy girl the others knew vanishing and leaving the visage of the woman within her. She wanted him. He could feel it. She wanted to know what it was like, what could possibly possess anyone to live in the shadows, to stay away from the light for an eternity. And she wanted him to show her.

At that moment, all the restraint he had been practicing since she had come back to life melted away, and he huskily murmured an invitation. "Try on my world. See how good it feels."

Buffy gave him a sly smile, the alcohol in her system clouding her gaze but not past the point of awareness. She knew that he had seen into her when those tempting words had so smoothly cascaded from his lips; the mood was too serious and she was feeling vulnerable. Trying to think of something to say to lighten the mood and make him stop staring at her with that intensity, a sharp stab of terror penetrated her dazed mind when she saw something inside of Spike's deep blue eyes change. He was no longer looking at her with the slightly patronizing and adoring gaze he had worn all night, nor with the desirous and tempting dark stare. There was something else there… something alien, unfamiliar… something not the vampire she had come to know.

"Spike?" she asked tentatively, hating the unfamiliar fear in her voice but the alcohol in her system taking a stronger hold on her uneasiness. His eyes narrowed at the word and suddenly, the deep azure gaze was a piercing yellow, his ridges emerging as well and a deep growl emanating from his throat. Buffy leapt from the coffin and pulled a stake from her jacket, dropping it uselessly when the vampire before her seized both her wrists fiercely and pulled her body to his.

"You're going to know what my world is like, love," he hissed, the voice she was hearing his own but at the same time, not. His gaze was locked on hers and she could do nothing but stare. Futilely, she made an effort to kick him with her unrestrained legs, but he turned her away from him, pressing her against the sarcophagus and trapping her body with his own. A low moan of terror emerged from her throat as Spike nuzzled the back of her neck, gripping her wrists tightly and holding them against the stone. Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, trying to think of something, anything to do to make this situation end but unable to come up with a single thought.

All that she felt was pain as he pierced the flesh of her neck with his fangs and drank deeply from her. And when his pale wrist dripping with blood was proffered to her, she drank just as deeply from him.

It was death.

Something familiar to her.

Others feared death. Why they would never was clear to her. Death was merely a change, not an end. Some might even say that it was a gift. But this change was different than the others that she had experienced before.

She was dead, but still within herself. Still aware of her body, as it was thrown carelessly through the trapdoor and then dragged along the earthen floor. Still could feel the cold shackles around her wrists as she was chained to the surprisingly soft bed. Still could see those piercing yellow eyes through the darkness.

And then they were gone. And she was alone again, but not herself. She would never be herself again.

There was darkness, and then there was light.

Nothing could have prepared her for this. The strength coursing through her veins in proportions that she could never have imagined--not even as Slayer had she known this power. There was more to that, though. Something that made the Buffy within her claw at her insides, at this intrusive enemy that craved the liquid that she could still taste on her lips. The metallic tang had not faded away, but there was something more to it now… something sweet?

With a rush of energy, Buffy came to the surface, gasping for unnecessary air and pulling roughly at the chains binding her to the bed. She could see, smell, hear everything. The scent of her Sire reached her and another burst of energy made quick work of the shackles, pulling not only the links of the chain apart but breaking the iron around her wrists. Pain barely registered as she threw herself to her feet and climbed up the ladder to the upper level of the crypt.

He didn't notice her. It was strange that he wouldn't, as he surely must have known that she would kill him. The fallen stake from their earlier struggle caught her eye and she surreptitiously picked it up, the familiar feel of the wood in her hands a comfort. Taking slow, even steps, she approached the vampire sprawled out on the couch, the muted television casting strange shadows about the room.

As she was finally able to see his face, she realized he was sleeping. Her blood was still lingering about his lips, giving them a dark red tint that was in sharp contrast to his pale skin. His face looked peaceful, almost unaware.

It was infuriating.

Buffy let out a roar of rage and her vampire face surfaced, Spike opening his eyes immediately after the sound. For a moment, as they stared at one another, she could still see the evil within him, the demon that had possessed him before. But that faded away in an instant and he was on his feet, tears in his eyes and an unbelieving expression on his face.

He didn't know what he had done. He didn't remember. It hadn't been him.

"Buffy?" he choked out, but she was gone, running out the door and into the night.

A/N: I'm aware that it wouldn't be very likely for Buffy to actually drink from Spike, but this is kind of an idea that I had and if you could suspend your disbelief for that one little scene, the whole story will be very believable. :) Please R&R!