Don't own it.
Clary kept Jace up a total of five times when she first met him.
Before all the drama of Valentine and the confusion of families tangled with emotions, there was simple attraction, yet that was still utterly new for him. The only female he had been close to for a prolonged period of time was Isabelle. Sure, he knew she was attractive, but he never thought of her in that way. He had simply ignored that part of him, the part that wanted a girl to love and for her to love him back. Jace knew she would have to be a Shadowhunter, if only for the fact that he didn't want to have to explain the world around them. In case it isn't that noticeable, there was a lack of female specimens for him to discover, so needless to say, when he met Clary, he was clueless.
The first time was the first night after he saw her in Pandemonium. He was mulling over the fact that she could see him. She was obviously mundane, and stuck out in a club full of demons like she wanted to be murdered. He was focused completely on the job, until he had heard the scream. He had obviously checked his Glamour Rune, in case it had for some reason malfunctioned or the demon had scratched him through the mark. This was doubtful, as he would have felt it to put it lightly. More like be in excruciating pain, since this one seemed venomous. Either way, she shouldn't have been able to see any of them.
But she did.
He had thought about the girl, thinking it had only been a few minutes considering the bright red hair and luminous green eyes. A small part of him wished that she was at least a little bit Shadowhunter, but that would be extremely unlikely. More like she was an anomaly; rare but not totally unheard of, a human who could see past glamours. He was startled when he saw the rays of sun shining through a sliver between his curtains, presently tightly drawn shut to block the outside world. He had been up all night thinking of someone who he had no clue about, and quite possibly would never see again. She didn't seem the type to frequent those kinds of clubs, he thought to himself, before getting up and trying to push her from his mind.
That was the first time.
The second time came shortly after that, when she was staying at the Institute for the first time. He knew that he was just a few doors down from someone who had captivated his attention so quickly. He knew that after he killed a demon, he would replay the events in his mind, to see what he could do differently. Jace was one of the best shadowhunters for a reason, he was always improving, even if it cost him a night of sleep. However this time he was completely distracted by a certain red-haired teenager. Instead of thinking about their surprising situation, he was replaying every moment containing her without even realising it. Jace had his eyes closed so the image was clearer, and was shocked out of his stupor by the sound of Alec throwing in some extra training.
Jace was surprised and slightly angry with himself at this point. This was the second time he had spent a night only thinking about her. He didn't even do anything productive for a reason to stay up. He barely even knew her, and already she was distracting him. Jace knew that he now had no excuse for his emotions from now on. Still, he was excited for seemingly no reason this morning, until he remembered that he was going to see her.
That was when he decided to start training earlier in the mornings with Alec.
The third time was a while later, after the Valentine ordeal. They had finally found something in common with each other, although it wasn't very good for their relationship, considering that they had the same father. Jace was angry that they couldn't be together, and confused. He had spent his whole life learning that Valentine was evil, a murderer who had destroyed the unity of the Shadowhunters, and that he was a Wayland. He had thought he was orphaned by Valentine; instead he had been created by him.
Even through this stressful and extremely confusing time, Jace couldn't stop thinking about the fiery entity who had entered his life less than a month ago. Jace knew it was wrong; they were full blood siblings. He felt drawn to her. Jace was extremely guilt-ridden at the fact that he was still in love with his new-found sister. He knew nothing could ever happen thanks to this discovery, and regretted becoming close to her in the first place.
She was a part of his life now, and he had to move her into a different class: the Untouchables. The people he protected and loved, but was not in love with. Alec and Isabelle were the first in this group, and he wished that his new addition was put somewhere completely different. But it was not meant to be; he had to destroy the feelings he had for her.
What he didn't notice was the sun hitting his floorboards and slowly crawling up towards him.
The fourth time that he had stayed awake for her was after the Seelie Court. He had almost completely hidden his feelings far away. He thought they would disappear if he locked them in a box and threw them into the darkest corner of his mind. However, they had burst free of the cage as soon as her lips came into contact with his. They ricocheted around his mind, happy to be free from the restrains of the chains he had attempted to keep them at bay with.
He wanted to deny that he had felt something, but the electricity that had shot down through him had made him completely lose control of his feelings for her. He tried to wrestle them into control, but he couldn't help it. Jace was just drawn to her, like he never was before.
This time he was expecting it, and watched his room fill with an orange glow. There was no way he would be able to sleep.
The fifth time was when she and Simon got together. He had accepted that his feelings for her would never truly fade. As long as he didn't act upon them, he would be fine. But he hated the feelings that he got when he saw her and Simon together.
His jealousy was burning inside him, when he saw them together. He wanted to rip them apart and keep her away from him for the rest of their lives. He was restless, and didn't even try to sleep.
Jace knew that Simon was in love with her, but he couldn't help but resent the man more. Jace was jealous enough when they were just friends, but now….
He put himself in Simon's position. Simon had been in love with Clary for years now, he knew, but he couldn't help but feel that Jace deserved Clary more than him. After all, Simon had never acted on his feelings.
But this was his sister. They couldn't be together. Ever. He had to remember that.
He stood by the window, watching the sun. At least he knew that the world would keep on turning, the sun rising and setting even if it seemed his world had stopped.
That was the last time for a while.
Thanks for reading.
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And rkoradio, I hope you feel better.
