A/N: Hello! It seems that I'm on a spree! Reviews, favorites, and/or follows are greatly appreciated! I think this is going to be my first multi-chapter OUAT story.
Plot: Regina breaks up with Robin after returning from the NY road trip because she finally wants to be open about her sexuality and test the waters with a familiar female face in town. Emma's jealously rages and Killian is confused. Some Red Queen. Mostly Swan Queen. Jealous!Emma
Regina never thought her life would lead her here. Sure, she was always miserable, lonely, and full of hatred but she had always been confident in herself. But the few weeks since the trip to and from New York, all she had been doing was question everything. The uncertainty was driving her mad. When Robin crossed the town line with Marian…well, Zelena… she felt a sense of relief, which perplexed her. She cared for him, right? Yes, but not the way she knew Tinkerbell wanted her to. He was a sweet, generous, family man but the spark was not there. He didn't incite butterflies and she didn't really miss him. During this contemplation, Regina even dug up her handy dictionary, scrolled through the S section, located the word soul mate, and sighed with relief when she realized that she was home free.
Right there on the page, "Soul mate (Noun): a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner."
Soul mates could be friends and for the first time since returning to Storybrooke, Regina Mills slept like a baby because yes, he was her soul mate but not romantically. She felt free. But the insanity didn't end there.
She had always noticed the female form, her eyes lingering a bit too long for Cora's taste. So, she did what she always did. Beat the impulse out of her. Except, she never could. No matter how hard her mother tried, Regina's eyes sought out women. Of course, Regina, being the smart woman she was and is, learned to control her impulses around her mother, father, and others. It was her father who was the most successful in straightened her out. He would stroke her hair after an educational screaming match with Cora. He would sit next to his sobbing daughter, combing his wrinkly fingers through her luscious hair, and tried to instill the same lesson as Cora, but with a softer approach.
"Regina, darling, it's alright to look. Women are very soft, beautiful creatures. But you understand that your desires cannot and should not be acted upon. It would bring shame to this family and you deserve the best, my dear. One day, you'll meet a boy that will make this all mute. You'll see."
It never vanished. The heat between her hips when glancing upon women's bosoms, the flood of arousal when hearing those sensual voices purr, the excitement of seeing women undress… just never faded. Of course, she never dared to act upon those feelings during her youth. She watched from afar and berated herself when the shameful thoughts arose. When her mother did something, she did it well. Daniel arrived shortly after. She loved him but she never desired him. He made her happy but he didn't unleash her passion. So, after several rejections, Daniel finally questioned her.
"My love, I want to make love with you and each time I try, you push me away. What is going on? Are you afraid that your mother will find out?"
She was tired of living a lie and holding this secret inside. So she told him the truth, all of it. And he accepted her. And he understood. And he told her it was all right and that she would be all right. And loved her anyway, even though he knew nothing physical would ever happen between them. He was her greatest friend. He also encouraged her to secretly date. She found Maleficent and they shared a passionate night together. But that was all it was: one night. After Mal, she continued to suppress the desires, especially after Daniel's death and her marriage to Leopold.
But sitting on the bench at the docks, waiting for Robin, Regina allowed those thoughts to run rampant. Her parents were dead and they all lived in a realm where people like her didn't have to hide. She was ready to live, actually live. She was ready to flirt with a female, touch a female, and love a female. It was time. Regina wanted to be her best for Henry and as long as she hid this part of herself, she could never truly be free, be the mother her son wanted and needed.
"Regina, is something wrong?" Robin stomped his way towards the bench, analyzing her face for a clue as to what would urge the woman to call at six o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday.
"You know," Regina smiled, "For the first time in forever, I'm pretty damn good."
Robin sighed with relief, "Well, I'm glad to hear it. I suppose I'm just wondering why we're here?"
Regina peered out at the boat's swaying lightly, "Sit down, please."
Robin's eyebrows shot up, his eyes scrunching together, and Regina noticed how unattractive he looked. He peered down at her suspiciously for a few more beats before lowering himself next to her on the chipped, yellow bench. He attempted to encircle her shoulders but she shifted quickly, putting herself just out of his reach. He, once again, made that unappealing facial expression.
"Regina?" He interlaced his fingers together; getting the message that she wasn't up for physical contact, "What's going on? You can tell me anything and we'll work through it."
"Robin, I need to tell you something that one a select few know and I need you to not react immediately," Regina picked at loose flecks of paint on the bench below her fingertips. She felt her eyes water without her consent, "I need you to be gentleman and not betray me or shame me."
"Sweetheart?" Robin paused, holding his breath.
"You are a good man. I should consider myself lucky to have you in my corner and I do," She saw his smile appear and she savored it because the next sentence would tear it all down, "But I don't want to be with you romantically."
His smile disappeared and was replaced with a deep frown, "Excuse me?"
"Robin, when I was young, about fifteen, I met a girl named Faith. She was the daughter of my chambermaid. She was my only friend at the time. As she and I continued to see one another, gossiping and forging a deep friendship, my feelings for her became less and less platonic. I wanted to hold her hand, and kiss her, and lay in bed with her all day. I told my parents that I finally found someone I could marry and when they found out it was Faith, they fired her mother and severed all ties. I was devastated and confused. When I asked why, my parents said I was wrong, that being that way was wrong. So, I tried and tried to bury those urges so deep that I allowed myself to be molded. They tried to change me but they couldn't. So, no matter how well you treat me or how much I want to passionately love you, I can't. I won't allow myself to continue this cycle of lies. I've decided to pursue life the way I see fit. Do you understand?"
Robin was stunned. He gaped at her for several moments before chuckling. Regina furrowed her brows, not understanding what in the hell he found so humorous about her inner turmoil.
"Gina, if you don't want to be with me, you don't have to concoct some elaborate lie to make me feel better."
"That was not a lie. The rest of my life has been one." Regina crossed her arms over her chest, almost willing him to walk away before another idiotic sentiment rolled off his tongue.
"We had sex!" He shouted before realizing where he was and lowering his voice to a frustrated whisper, "We had sex and you liked it. You were responsive. You came for goodness sakes!"
"Yes, well, I'm a very good actress."
"My lord! This is a joke, right?! Some sick joke! You're… not a lesbian!" Robin shot up from the bench, lifting his arms and slapping them onto his thighs out of anger.
"I am, Robin. I've been denying it for a long time and I'm tired of it. I'm not going to let you deny me now. Accept it or not, I don't care. Just stay out of my way." Regina lifted herself off of the bench regally, keeping her head up high. She turned swiftly and sauntered to her car. She only allowed the tears to flow when she curled up on her bed while clutching her memory foam pillow to her chest.
She cried for a lost friendship that had potential. The tears smudged her makeup, practically removing her blush and causing her eyeliner to run and leave streaks. Her dark locks started sticking to her face.
A forceful knock reverberated of the walls of the mayoral mansion. Regina lifted her head slowly, releasing the pillow and placing her feet onto the plush carpet. Quickly, she ripped three tissues from the box resting on her beside table and wiped her makeup off. Another knock. Regina stomped down the staircase and ripped open the front door to reveal Robin. He was leaning on the doorframe, looking dejected.
"I'm an ass," Robin whispered as if stating a fact. Regina smiled weakly, "I was caught off guard by your announcement and it hurt because I love you but I had no right to denounce you the way I did. After you walked away, I sat there and thought over everything you said and I realized that if I really love you the way I know I do, I had to accept and encourage you. Regina, I want you to be happy, even if it's with a very lucky lady."
"Thank you." Regina felt her traitorous eyes water. Robin noticed and took her into his arms.
"So what now? Are we keeping this a secret?" Robin asked, rubbing his hands up and down the brunette's back soothingly.
"No, I need everyone to know so that I can't back out last minute. But first, I have to tell Henry. Maybe the Charming clan as well."
"Okay. When?"
"Today. No more lies."
"Ma! Come down here!" Henry called. A groan was heard from the second floor and Snow let out a bark of laughter. Charming silently flipped a pancake, smirking gleefully.
"Geez kid. Relax." Emma yawned. The boy shrugged while shoving his textbooks into his backpack.
"Is Regina picking Henry up from school today?" Snow questioned, snatching a pancake from Charming's plate.
"Yeah, Gina's picking him up and I'll pick him up after my shift is over." Emma plopped down next to her son and began building her plate. Silence descended over the Charming's as they chowed down on their pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Emma let out a small belch, receiving a glare from Snow and a chuckle from the boys. A knock disrupted the quiet and Henry jumped up to answer. He yanked up the door to show his mother, who looked nervous and fidgety.
"Hey mom." Henry smiled, stepping aside to allow her in. Regina entered, throwing a shy smile at her son.
"Hey Gina. What's up?" Emma asked, chewing on a forkful of scrambled eggs.
"I'm sorry for interrupting your breakfast."
"You're not interrupting. Have you eaten?" Snow stood. Charming looked ready to retrieve another plate. Regina shook her head.
"I need to speak to you… all of you. It's very important but I suppose it can wait until later." Snow gestured her forward.
"No, no. We're pretty much done. Give us five minutes to finish up." Henry grabbed Regina's hand and led her to the table. She sat down next to Emma, throwing her a smile. She felt a twinge of arousal shoot through her when the smile was reciprocated brightly.
Regina had always thought that Emma was beautiful. Her green eyes and striking blonde, flowing locks left her breathless. She had the largest crush on the savior even though she knew that option was off limits. Emma and the pirate had been heating up, especially since the road trip. I guess distance really does make the heart grow fonder, Regina sighed. Regina had never been so attracted to anyone as she was Emma. The ridiculous crush was part of the reason she was so hostile towards her in the beginning.
"So what's going on?" Snow queried, plopping back into her seat.
"Henry, sweetheart, grab a chair and come here." Henry complied, grabbing a stool and placing it next to his mother.
"So, I need to tell you something that's been simmering inside of me for a very, very long time," Regina cleared her throat, feeling it constrict on it's own. Everyone was looking at her with concerned expressions, "I, um, oh god—"
Henry interlaced fingers with his brunette mother, "It's okay mom."
Tense silence filled the room for a few moments while Regina pinned back her hair with shaky hands, "I'm…I'm gay."
It was like time froze. Snow gawked at her former stepmother with shifting eyes. Charming eyes widened imperceptibly. Henry smiled lightly, his hand squeezing hers. Emma, though, was the personification of shock.
"I'm sorry, what?" Emma whispered.
"I'm a lesbian. I never enjoyed being with men but my mother conditioned me to believe that my homosexual feelings were wrong and not to be acted upon. I can't continue living this way anymore because now there's no one to blame but myself. My parents are gone, I broke up with Robin, and this realm is accepting. I'm ready. I hope this isn't too much for you all."
Henry hopped off the stool and embraced his mother tightly, "I'm happy for you mom! I'm not that surprised anyway."
"Really kid 'cause I was just mind blown." Emma joked.
"Yeah, mom was always checking Ruby out," Everyone turned to see Regina blushing, "Plus, I don't think anything could be worse than the whole Evil Queen thing."
Regina chuckled, "Thank you, my little prince. I'm so proud of you."
"Are you going to start dating?" Henry smirked, "I heard that Ruby's single."
"Oh my—" Regina blushed deeply.
"I think she likes you too," Henry laughed, "She calls you Mayor Hotness when you're not around."
"Henry!" Snow shrieked, still processing the facts.
"And Ruby is really sexy!"
"Henry!" Emma, Snow, and Charming shrieked this time.
"Well, he's not wrong." Regina blushed so deep, everyone was sure it would become permanent.