Disappointment - noun; the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
If asked about herself, it was the first word to come to mind, along with the word burden. The unyielding thought that she she was nothing more, and so much less accompanied her even on her best days. It lingered in the back of her mind, like a ghost whose presence she couldn't quite shake; she could always feel its chill in the marrow of her bones - colder than any feeling she'd ever known. Aside from the empty feeling alienation, it was her closest friend and she could count on it to be there, even when it wasn't needed.
It had been there all her life, from the moment she was born and even now, despite the fact that things had taken a turn for the better, it was still there, lurking in her shadows lest she forget what she really was. It clung to her like a leech, sucking even the slightest glimmer of confidence from her; like shadow, it was her gloom - for she knew that even if things were going right, it would only be a matter of time before they began to go wrong. That washer life after all, one mistake after another; just another disappointment to be added to an ever growing list.
Was it too much to ask for, that once in her life she could feel like she wasn't the cause of everything? It was too much of a pain to constantly feel such a way. And in the back of her mind, there was always that nagging question: What had she done to deserve this? But the answer had always been there in the form of her mother's voice, a shrill and biting thing really, that screamed to her that it was the price for being born.
But despite the hindering feelings, she tried to make the best of things. Whenever things happened and she found herself on her hands and knees, somewhere inside her she always found the strength to get back up and keep pushing forward with an endless determination to show that she wasn't what the claimed her to be. She strove to break the chains that held her back and to prove to her parents, to everyone, that she was more than just a burden, that she was Yukino Aguria, and she could over come anything - to prove to them that there was no hurdle too high for her and even if it meant to work a bit harder, than so be it, because nothing was going to come between her and the satisfaction of knowing that she was worth something.
Nothing would come between her and her desire to shine brighter than any star in the sky.