Author's Note: Well....erm....this isn't what I usually write. This is.....drumroll.....my feeble attempt at humor! Yay! Only my brother and I so far find this funny.....so if you've ever played Super Paper Mario, hopefully you will, too!

Basically, Count Bleck's crew tries out for American Idol! Ha....who knows what this can lead to.....:P

First chapter! Review.....if you actually find this humorous.....

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Paper Mario. Also, I didn't mean to use Patrick's song....it just seemed to fit, you know?!

***EDIT: I know, I should be writing the next chapter, but sadly the humor gene isn't in me at the moment. However, the editing gene is, so I have taken the liberty of taking each of the chapters out of its past "script" format, and replaced it with actual "story" format. Isn't it great?! :D I'm proud. Well, enjoy the new, improved chapters everybody! Hopefully they haven't changed too much for your liking, and hopefully you still find them just as funny!

P.S. Please take a look at the Poll on my profile!! It's very important that you cast your vote (haha, really bad pun XD) everyone!!

Please review!!

One fine day in Castle Bleck, Count Bleck and his minions were sitting around television, and suddenly, out of the blue, a commercial for American Idol came on.

Mimi snickers into her hand, trying to hide her laugh but failing miserably.

Nastasia sighed audibly, knowing this couldn't be good. "Mimi...what did you do this time..."

"I put in all of our names to audition for American Idol!" she laughed.

The room erupted into chaos.

"I know, aren't I great?! Thank me!" Mimi smiled, looking very smug.

"I most certainly will not!" cried Dimentio. "Everyone knows I can't sing!"

Mimi stopped to look at him. "Uh...that's kind of the point..."

Nastasia groaned. "You signed us up so we could publicly humiliate ourselves?"

"Yup!"

Nastasia clutched at her head with her hands and sank down to the floor.

"If you don't mind me asking...when do we start?" asked O'Chunks.

"Sillies! They're hosting the auditions in a nearby city tonight! So...right now!" Mimi bounced up and down excitedly.

At this moment in time, Count Bleck walked into the room wearing a chicken suit. His minions stared at him rather awkwardly.

Dimentio laughed outright. "Okay, then...who put clown-boy here in this contraption?! As if he isn't ugly enough already! Ha!"

"Oh, shut up. Just get in the car!" Nastasia said, and pushed the cackling Dimentio forward.

Later that night...

Count Bleck nervously chewed on his hat as he approached the show's host in the waiting room. He wasn't quite sure what to expect.

"Hello, there, what's your name?" said an exuberant Ryan Seacrest to the Count. Numerous microphones and cameras focused on Count Bleck, who trembled a little at the sight. Even though he might be ruler of the universe one day, he didn't exactly like being the center of attention.

"Uh, B-Blumiere. No, wait!--Count Bleck. Yes. Uh, that's it. Yeah," he stuttered.

"Interesting name there, son! Are you a vampire or something?" Ryan joked.

Count Bleck didn't seem to catch on. "Yes, I mean, no! I am a dark, evil ruler who controls a void that will very soon destroy this pathetic human universe!"

"Erm...alright then." Ryan turned to a nearby security guard and whispered: "This guy's not quite right in the head. Deal with him later, all right?"

Count Bleck was offended. "It's only true!"

Ryan didn't acknowledge him father. "Oh, I think they're ready for you. Go on in."

"Um...okay..."

Count Bleck nervously walked into the judges' room, but accidentally tripped on an electrical appliance, and the screen saver in back that says 'American Idol' went dead. Count Bleck scampered into the middle of the stage, but the sign then proceeded to fall on top of him. He pushed it off hurriedly, trying to maintain whatever was left of his dignity.

"...Right then. And you are...?" started Simon.

"C-Count Bleck," said the Count, trying to sound confident. "Y-You're worst nightmare!"

Simon scoffed. "Pfft. How can anybody attempt to be called your worst nightmare in a chicken suit? Wow. So, idiot, what are you going to sing, anyway?"

Count Bleck found that he was slowly gaining his lost confidence. "It's a song from a TV show, and I changed the lyrics to make it fit me!"

"...Ah. Let's hear it, then."

"Alright." Count Bleck took an obnoxious deep breath, and began to sing.

He sounded absolutely horrible. One can imagine an obnoxious crying baby, a horrible car crash, and an elephant being staked. Put them all together, and this is what dear Count Bleck sounds like when he sings.

Twinkle Twinkle Castle Bleck,

I made myself a void.

Nastasia named it Squiglet,

It tastes like Poison Shrooms,

And it smells like Fracktail's morning breath.

Destroying the world is hard to do, so I use a pointy staff.

Pointy Pointy Pointy, Pointy Pointy Point.

Dimentio has a hat, it ends in a point,

Pointy Pointy Pointy, Pointy Pointy Point.

This song is over, except for this line,

You win this round,

Mushrooms!-- (reprise)

"What in the world is he doing?" asked Kara.

"I...think he's hyperventilating," Paula observed. "Simon, call in the COARC crew."

Count Bleck paused in mid-song. "Oh, I'm fine! That's just my beautiful singing voice!"

"That horrible noise that caused an elderly women to die here, was you singing?!" said Simon.

"That would be correct!"

There was a loud crash as Paula passed out on the ground.

"Argh..." Simon growled. "Stage crew! And YOU!" he continued, pointing to Count Bleck. "You are most certainly NOT going to the next round!"

Count Bleck was enraged. "FINE!" he shouted. "THIS WORLD WILL DOMINATE YOU SOMEDAY, AND I SWEAR, SIMON COWELL, YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO SUFFER! THE FIRST! ...Besides Mario. BUT YOU GET THE POINT! GAH!" With this, he stormed out of the audition room.

"...Yeah. I'll be sure to fear a guy in a chicken suit. Freak..." Simon muttered.

~TO BE CONTINUED~