This story is based on an idea I had about six months ago while watching Over the Hedge for the fourth or fifth time in a row, and it occurred to me just at the point after RJ gives Stella a DIY home makeover and everyone stops to admire his handiwork. That was when I noticed the way he looks at her, and I tell you I could swear that something in his stare just screamed that there was something deeper going on in there. A sudden realization of certain feelings that he hadn't noticed before, which rather perplexingly just seem to disappear between that shot and the one of the Verminator decapitating a plastic flamingo onwards.
It was then that I realized that even if he did have feelings for her, there was no way he could truly express them without risking his plan and consequently his life, and even if something had happened between them during the minutes between those two shots it was inevitable which he would choose out of Life or Love?
Now whether or not anything did happen we'll probably never know but personally, though, I like to think that something did, and this story is that of my own imagining of how it would have played out. Enjoy.

Oh, and I should probably mention the mild sex-scene shouldn't I; don't worry though I tried to keep it short and vague, after all this is a story about inner conflict and self realization, not a PWP.

Life or Love

"… okay so we all meet back here in ten, got it?" announced RJ, as he finished up his final address to the family before they all dispersed to prepare for the heist, "Hey Stella, make sure you practice you're smooth talk, if I know cats that guy isn't gonna give you a second chance."

The skunk just turned to him and gave him an alluring smile, "I think I got it down," and with a sexy swish of her freshly charcoaled tail she turned away and followed the others as they all began to walk out from under the lamp to attend to their final preparations.

"Damn right you do," RJ muttered with a grin, as he too stepped out of the light and began towards his blue golf bag sitting just by the purple car seat in front of the T.V.

The raccoon had never really fancied himself as any kind of fashion guru but then again, sometimes he surprised even himself. From the moment he'd first laid eyes on that skunk he'd noticed something about her; a kind of tough but sexy air to her presence. A real fox just waiting to be unleashed. All he'd really given her was a bit of make-up and a hair cut and bam! All those pieces just fell together so perfectly. Stella certainly seemed happy, but then who wouldn't after having spent most of their life gazing out from beneath a veil of matted hair, especially with eyes like that!

RJ quickly grabbed up his bag and began to rummage around inside looking for the fishing reel he'd previously used to scale the cliff up to Vincent's cave and consequently began this whole catastrophe. To be honest it was a little ironic that the same item should play such a vital role in a plan he sincerely hoped would bring an end to this whole mess.

"Ah huh, there you are!" he exclaimed happily, as he emerged from the bag with the fishing reel clutched tightly in his paws.

With a little luck and if tonight's heist worked out the way it should, by lunchtime tomorrow Vincent would be off his case and RJ would be a free raccoon again. It was a shame that he'd have to leave these guys alone in the suburbs without any food, but if they'd learned anything from the past week with him then they would be stuffing that log again in no-time.
Who knows, maybe he'd even see them again sometime, and hopefully by that time they'd have gotten over the fact that he had left them. He'd actually grown quite fond of those porcupines triplets, and that girl Heather, she was a pretty cool kid too; why if she was just a few years older and a raccoon. Man!

Sitting down on the car seat, RJ began to roll the reel of the fishing rod over and over in his paws occasionally pausing to absentmindedly fiddle with the catch or twist the reel back forth as he silently pondered the events of the past week. The first night he'd met the family and taken them out on the town, trying and failing to teach Hammy to play golf, watching Ozzie perform the death scene of the century, air-banding with Heather, playing videogames with Spike, Bucky and Quillo and best of all posing for all the wacky and wonderful photos. Truth be told, the past few days had probably been the happiest in his entire life.
Yet still he knew in his heart that he couldn't stay, no matter how badly he wanted to. Vincent would kill him if he didn't get the food, and when he gave the food to him the family would inevitably find out what had happened. And once they knew who he truly was, odds were they would want to kill him instead.

RJ couldn't help giving a defeated sigh, sometimes he really had to wonder if maybe he was meant to live this way.

"Hey, erm, RJ right?"

The raccoon slowly looked up from fishing reel, but as soon as his eyes fell on the shiny coated beauty that stood before him he immediately wished that he hadn't.

"Uh, hey Stella," he replied, trying his best to fake a convincing smile, "What's up?"

"Oh, Nothin' I was just, uh, wonderin' if you could help me. You know with the whole getting' the fat cat to gimme his collar thing?" Stella asked.

"Sure thing, Stell." He answered, "Lookin' great by the way."

"Uh thanks," she replied, and looking at her now RJ couldn't help but notice that there was something very odd about the way she was acting. The stammering in her speech for one thing, and the way she seemed to be shifting uncomfortably in her place while constantly glancing around at the others, it was almost as if she were nervous about something, "You done with that?" She indicated the fishing reel in RJ's paws.

"Well, I was, uh… erm… wasn't' really doin' anything," he admitted, placing the reel in the grass beside him, "Why?"

"Well, I was wonderin' if you'd come with me?"

"Where?"

"Nowhere really, it's just that I'm kinda nervous about this whole thing and I was thinkin' about taking a walk around the clearing for some fresh air," Stella explained, her voice becoming ever more nervous as she spoke, "And I saw you over here and I thought you might want some air too. I mean you looked a little down. And I don't blame ya', what with being leader an' all, you gotta be freakin out by now right?"

"Kinda, yeah." RJ replied in slightly distant manner as his thoughts were once again consumed by fond memories, this time of Stella, and each one tainted with guilty anguish over just how much she was going to regret this moment by this time tomorrow night.

"So do ya' wanna come?" she asked with an eager smile.

Although every ounce of his being willed against it, with no believable excuse or reason to refuse RJ had no choice but to fake a smile and answer with, "Yeah sure."

"Thanks RJ," said Stella, as RJ got to his feet.

"Don't mention it."

As the two of them walked toward the exit, RJ couldn't help noticing just how on-edge Stella was. Although he had at first attributed her nervous air to her anxiety over the sheer magnitude of the task that they were about to undertake but that didn't really explain why she was constantly gazing around at the others. It was as if she was afraid they'd notice something, like she was doing something that was somehow taboo. But to be honest he didn't see anything wrong with two friends taking a quick walk to calm their nerves.
However, walking out of the grove and into the wide, moonlit expanse of clearing, RJ noticed with immense relief that Stella seemed to calm down a little. Not a lot, but she definitely stopped gazing around as the two of them now walked in relative silence save only for the chirping of crickets emanating from the surrounding grass until Stella stopped just outside the entrance to the log.

RJ let out a sigh as he leaned against the log's entrance. It was such a relief to be away from the others as it meant that he could finally try to clear his mind and refocus on the job at hand. Although he was finding Stella's presence a little distracting, and this time it had less to do with guilt than it had to do with the way his eyes were constantly drifting towards her tail. And the strangely deliberate manner in which she swished it so gently from side to side gave him the strong sense she was aware of, and perhaps even relishing, the attention.

"So you think I'm a fox huh?" Stella asked, suddenly breaking the silence which had fallen over them, "Do you know just how long I've been waitin' for someone to say that."

RJ smiled and shrugged, "For a girl like you, anytime is too long."

Stella just laughed, "You know, I've been waitin' my whole life for someone to say somethin' about me that didn't stink, an' now of all the animals in the world, I get to hear it from some dumpster divin' raccoon I don't even know."

"Well baby this dumpster diving raccoon knows quality merchandise when he sees it," RJ replied, before suddenly realizing just how corny that must have sounded.

Luckily Stella just chuckled before briefly spinning around on the spot in a manner that provided maximum exposure of her assets to the ring tailed onlooker, momentarily providing the raccoon with a full view of hindquarters. Fully aware of the fact that they were well and truly flirting now, RJ just grinned as his eyes slowly travelled down her body, taking in every sexy inch of her new-found shapely form.

"Well then tell me, when was the last time a fox told you that you weren't so bad yourself?" Stella asked in a tone that was less questioning than it was stating a fact while turning back around to face him and stepping forward as she ran her left paw through one of the tufts of white fur on the raccoon's cheeks.

At that moment RJ felt he knew the right answer. And, even though it was the truth, 'only just last week' definitely wasn't it.

"Too long ago," he replied simply.

Stella's smile broadened immediately, "Well I'm gonna go with those little blond highlights you got there on your tail."

RJ couldn't help laughing, "You can touch one if you want," he replied.

"I'll think about that afterwards," Stella replied, and before RJ could even ask her 'After what?' she immediately pulled his head forward with her paw and hastily pressed her mouth against his.

Before RJ knew it he could feel her tongue gently caressing the inside of his mouth as she slowly walked backwards into the log leading him inside with her. Surprisingly he found that she was quite happy to let his paws roam freely across her body and he was just as happy to allow her the same unrestricted access to his, only too pleased to relish the growing tingle deep in his loins that only became more pronounced as Stella's paws worked their way down his body drawing ever more tantalizingly closer to his thighs.

Suddenly Stella pulled away with a wide smile on her face and gently lay backwards into the moist cushion of leaf litter beneath her.

"So, are we really doin' this," she asked with a small chuckle, "We could get caught you know."

Standing their looking down at Stella as she lay expectantly on the leafy bedding in front of him, RJ couldn't help but feel some minor misgivings about what he was about to do. For one thing, the fact that he was going to leave them all with nothing come tomorrow morning, however, unsurprisingly these were all wiped away by one overpowering thought: this was sex and what self-respecting male says no to that.

RJ just gave a playful growl as he dropped to all fours and immediately began to gently and romantically lick her neck as he positioned himself above her, "So this… was your plan…. all along, eh?" he asked between strokes of his tongue.

"C'mon RJ, a guy like you had it coming," Stella replied.

She gave a long gasp as RJ slowly pushed into her and his loins were immediately enveloped by a familiar but no less delightful warm moistness. Every sensation was a pleasant one, from the way Stella's paws continued they're travels along RJ's back and tail to the way the fur on their bellies rubbed together with every thrust. The way Stella laughed, more out of sheer delight than any actual humor, the sound of every labored breath they made, and by far the raccoons favorite sensation was that of Stella's paws suddenly grasping tightly at the fur on his back as she buried her face in his shoulder in an attempt to muffle her cries of delight only a couple of minutes before RJ himself clasped fistfuls of rotting leaves in his paws and let out an involuntary growl as his loins momentarily clenched in orgasmic pleasure.

As the intense euphoria of the past few minutes began to ebb away and was replaced by a more passive, but by no means less pleasant, gentle warmth RJ gently kissed the tip of Stella's nose and rolled onto the leaf litter beside her, panting like he'd just run a five hundred mile marathon.

Placing both paws behind his head as he lay next to her in the leaf litter, RJ couldn't help grinning broadly with satisfaction as he listened to Stella panting exhaustedly next to him.

"Not bad raccoon," Stella began, after she began to get her breath back.

"Not so bad yourself Stella," RJ replied, "For a first timer anyway."

"Hey, who said anythin' about a first timer," Stella exclaimed, and RJ immediately gave her a confused look, "I just said no one's ever called me a fox before, I never said anythin' about bein' lonely."

Although it seemed like a pretty stupid question considering the current circumstances RJ still felt compelled to ask, "Who?"

"Hey, I aint sayin' nothin'," Stella replied, with a mischievous smile.

"Aw c'mon, was it Verne?" RJ asked, although to be honest he actually expected the 'yeah right' look that she gave him, "Uh, Lou?" Stella just scoffed at that one, "Hammy?"

Stella sighed, and RJ looked on with a tired but amused smile as she stood up next to him, "Uh, you know we should probably get back now. Ya' don't want Verne getting' all 'what the heck have y'all bin up to?' do ya?"

"Ah, your probably right," the raccoon replied, as he got to his feet next to Stella and immediately began to smooth out his now badly ruffled fur, "Ozzie?"

Stella immediately chuckled, "Uh, let's just get goin' alright."

'That's a yes' RJ thought quietly to himself as he followed Stella out of the log and into the clearing, and it certainly sounded reasonable; apart from being a complete dinosaur the guy was pretty decent and good with kids, that's two out of three.

"Hey you're still okay with the whole guy bait thing right?" Stella asked, as the two of them approached the entrance to the grove, "I mean, after that."

"To what?", RJ asked, and even though he knew what it was probably about, getting serious with Stella didn't seem like such a bad idea. He'd always liked girls with a bit of attitude, and combined with her prom queen good looks, hooking up with her was sounding like the opportunity of lifetime.

"Well… you're pretty good with kids, you do have a sense of smell but…" she instantly turned to him with bright smile, "My stink never bothered you did it?"

RJ chuckled, "Not one bit."

"And you're actually a really decent guy."

WHAM! It hit RJ like a freight train at ten-thousand miles per hour, the sinking feeling in his chest, the tightness in his gut and the horrible pangs of guilt that only just seconds ago had seemed so far away came rushing back to him with a vengeance. He immediately stopped in his tracks, finding himself staring absent mindedly into the moonlit grass around his feet as his mind was flooded with the memories of this past week with the family, and even more painfully, the knowledge of what he and Stella had just shared and the immense misunderstanding on which it had been based.

"What is it RJ?" Stella asked concernedly, "W-was it somethin' I said?"

"No," RJ whispered.

"No? No what?" Stella asked.

"No," RJ repeated clearly although it was more to himself than to her, "I'm not a decent guy. It's why I'm here, why I gotta do this. Stella I… I… I… ahhh!" he kicked at the ground in frustration. He so badly wanted to tell her, tell her everything. Everything about Vincent, the food, the scam, the whole damn deal; but he couldn't. He had to carry out this heist or die, there was no middle ground, and if life had taught him anything at all it was that there was nothing and no one worth dying for. They were all going to hate him for this anyway and all he'd done tonight was experience a potentially fatal lapse in concentration that had only served to make things a hell of a lot more complicated. Fortunately though, it wasn't going to be to hard to uncomplicated

Without looking up he immediately took a deep breath while focusing all of his concentration on keeping his voice smooth and clear as he answered, "No, I don't think it'll work out." With that he started on a beeline for the grove entrance, his mind now set on one thing and one thing only. Get the food and get out of here!

Yes! I managed to write a sex scene without ever once using the word ecstasy!^^

For the record: I know there are some pacing issues in parts but I'm content with the way it is, who knows maybe I'll treat like 'The Possum' and come back to do some cleanup work at a later date but I can guarantee that won't be for a while.

If any of you suddenly find yourselves unable to watch the movie without imagining something like this happening in the lead up to the heist than I gladly accept partial responsibility, although honourable mention goes to the animators' for putting the idea in my head to begin with.