Fandom:: FFVII
Pair: Sephiroth/Zack
Note: Random idea that started running through my head doing a virus scan
I never said the fabled 'I love you.' I wish that I did though it would not have changed a thing. Just to have you know that what we had truly was special to me, that you meant the world to me in a life full of lies and deceptions. So you could feel what it was like to hear it because I can't imagine you ever did from anyone else, even Cloud the few nights you had your evil way with him. I ache from the Lifestream watching you tear yourself apart. I wish I would have said it, so you would have known I truly do love you, even now. That it was not just a game between us, like it was with the scientists toying with our bodies day in and day out. Like Shinra pulling us this way and that dancing their good little puppets upon strings. It began as a game between us and become something so much more.
The little things gave you away to me. I could tell when you were hurt, upset, or angry, the weight of your steps so light you glided across the floor stalking me like a predator after his prey. You wanted me to help you and you didn't know how to say it. You just knew what could take the pain away right then and I fell back to the sheets with arms wide open welcoming you into love and care. You were always so tense, Sephiroth. It must have sucked to be the best, the kind of pressure it must have put on you. I was strong but you were always stronger. You were perfect, on the battlefield and in bed. Perfection demanded a high price.
I held you through your nightmares and headaches, vicious repercussions that came from the careless experimenting. They did what they wanted to us regardless of the side effects and then when we malfunctioned it only fascinated them even more and urged them to continue poking and prodding us. You terrify me, you always have. The way you would suddenly snap and go berserk, attacking the scientists and slaughtering lesser foot soldiers for being the usual dimwits they were. There was no mercy when it came to me. You would protect me and hold me though you could never bring yourself to say those three little words. It held too much meaning for someone like us to comprehend. It must have scared you so much.
I know that I will never get to hear you say it now. That you will never get to hear me say it. I repeat it to myself over and over in my head watching you from the river of life but I know it cannot reach your ears. It is best that it doesn't, you would only laugh and shun me now and I can't bear to take your scorn. I need a reason to stay tethered to the world and Cloud just isn't enough. I need you, Sephiroth, I need you. Even though you cannot hear it, I close my eyes and touch my chest where you had carved your initials into the flesh.
And whisper the fabled 'I love you.'