Harry Potter and the Inferius Shitstorm!
Chapter 1
Underneath the great hall in the kitchens, an imposter house elf smashed a bottle on the stone floor. Within moments the kitchen filled with a toxic gas, poisoning the elves with a highly powerful and contagious poison. Their weak bodies succumbed quickly.
"As of now, curfew now begins immediately at dinner. No one may leave the great hall until after dinner and any students caught not heading immediately to their common rooms will face immediate detention for two weeks. Any reoffenders will face expulsion" Headmistress Umbridge declared, "Although, some exemptions may be made" her eyes briefly glanced at the Slytherin table.
"What a cunt" Ron whispered under his breathe.
Harry nodded in agreement.
"She's trying really hard. She want's to take you out with a technicality" Hermione whispered.
Harry nodded again, "Of course, she's an old bag. But god damn, I'm hungry" He looked around the great hall and saw similar feelings, as a hundred and so students stared at their empty plates, waiting for Umbridge to finish explaining her new security measure so that they could eat dinner.
"Furthermore, for your safety, all of the castle exits and entrances shall seal from both the inside and outside during curfew. No one gets in or out without special permission from myself, or a trusted member of the staff"
"She's really pushing it this time" Ron growled.
"This is specifically to keep us away from Hagrid" Harry whispered. He looked up at Hagrid, who was seated at the far end of the teachers table beside Proffesor McGonagall. Upon Umbridge becoming Headmaster after Dumbledore's disappearance, she had moved all of Dumbledore's biggest supporters to the far end of the table, to the seats of shame.
"Looks like the Slytherins are loving these new rules, seeing as they don't even get affected" Hermione whispered, motioning over to the Slytherin table.
"Check out Malfoy's smug grin" Seamus whispered, "I'd like to fucking knock him down a peg."
"Wouldn't we all?" Neville sighed.
"I wish we could just jam him down a toilet, like what Fred and George did to that 7th year" Dean laughed, "It kicked ass!"
They all chuckled quietly.
Harry looked around the great hall at the other tables. The Slytherins were all taking in the new rules happily, not a surprise. He checked out the Ravenclaw table and briefly met eyes with Cho Chang. She smiled back at him.
God Damn I would like to tap that Harry thought, It's been too long. He fondly remembered his last quickie with Cho Chang in the fourth floor broom closet before checking out the Hufflepuff table. Everyone there had the same expression, boredom and hunger.
He scanned along the room, checking out the teachers reactions to the new security laws. Most had bored looks, except for Professor McGonagall, who had her face in her hand, looking at the ground with obvious disappointment. Hagrid looked slightly unsettled by the new curfew rules, but did not show much else. Professor Snape had the same unhappy asshole look he always had.
Harry's scan stopped at Ginny. She was something special. Something about how she had grown up, and the way she walked, and talked, and carried herself. He had always seen her as a friend, or a little sister, but something had changed about it. It was almost like an infatuation.
But I can't go after her... I'm with Cho, and she's my best friends sister! But still. if things were only different...
He sighed to himself. It didn't matter, because right now she was with some other douchebag, Micheal Corner from Ravenclaw.
"More like Cornbag" Harry muttered to himself.
"What was that? You zoned out for a moment" Ron asked Harry with concern.
"Huh? Oh... nothing" Harry regained his focus, "When's this fucking hag gonna be done, am I right, fella's?" He asked. The other guys laughed.
"I think just now, she's doing that weird twitch she always does when she's done talking" Hermione pointed at Umbridge's left hand, which was doing a weird flicking motion.
"That's a weird ... what ever thing" said Ron.
As if on cue, Umbridge finished her speech, "Now that the new measures are in place, I have also instated a new 'social hierarchy'. Myself, my supporters, and my favorite house shall eat first, followed by the rest. Tuck in!"
She sat down as a groan went through the hall.
A moment later the Slytherin table and the few plates closest to Umbridge were suddenly filled with food. A gasp rang out through the hall, because instead of food on the plates, house elf corpses lay on the tables.
"HOLY SHIT!" Someone screamed.
"What is the meaning of this!" Umbridge cried out, jumping to her feet.
The slytherins did the same, out of disgust. They pushed their plates away, backing away from the pile of corpses.
The dead elf on Umbridges plate stirred. It's discolored body twitched and shook, as if it were full of maggots. It's eyes opened, and it immediately grabbed Umbridge's hand and bit into it.
"GET IT OFF ME!" She shrieked, pushing the house elf away, but it only bit harder. She grabbed a knife and stabbed at it, but it only bit harder.
The Slytherins screamed at the dead elves on their table did the same, coming to life and immediately attacking them.
Harry and the others starred in horror as half the Slytherins fled, while the others found themselves backed up against the wall. The elves charged them, and the yscreamed as tiny razor teeth tore into their flesh.
"Let's get the fuck out of here!" Ron shouted, jumping to his feet. Harry joined him, and they rushed to the great hall doors. In an instant they found themselves in an aggressive mob of students all stampeding for the same narrow exit.
"I can't move!"
"Get off me!"
"Get the fuck out the way!"
Students screamed as they grabbed and pushed towards the door, trampling each other in an aggressive rush.
At the back of the mob, Colin Creevey, and his brother Dennis, tried to push through, but they were too small to get through. A small group of the house elves not focused on the Slytherins trapped against the wall swarmed the mob at the door.
"Dennis! Look out!" Colin screamed as the nearest zombie house elf latched onto his leg and bit deep into his calve, "GOD DAMN THAT STINGS!" He grabbed it around it's ears and pushed it away, but a second elf leaped onto his arm and bit into his wrist.
"COLIN!" his little brother screamed, but three house elves converged on him.
At the front of the mob, someone gave way, and students poured out into the entry wall. Those who gained their footing quickest sprinted towards the great doors, ready to flee into the grounds. Zacharias Smith was at the front of this group. He pushed against the doors with all his might, but they were sealed, as the curfew had already begun.
"NO! OPEN UP!" He screamed as a dozen students collided into him, crushing him against the unmoving door.
Harry, Ron and Hermione ran off to the side of the doors, watching the mass crowding at the door.
"They're not opening, the fucking curfew sealed them!" Ron shouted.
"What are we going to do!? What the hell is going on in there?!" Hermione screamed.
"We have to get out of the chaos. Head to the common room!" Harry suggested. They nodded in agreement and set off down a corridor beside several other students with the same idea.