Hey all! Long time no see. So, I'm on a new kick... I know, I know. I suck. But here's my "When Calls the Heart" Fic. This takes place after seeing Season 5, Episode 9... Yeah, I know... THAT episode... Anyway, enjoy.

I couldn't breathe...

I couldn't hear either…

The only thing I felt besides my hands and knees hitting the ground, was the imaginary dagger that plunged into my heart.

I screamed his name. Over and over along with the word 'no'.

This wasn't happening. It couldn't. He only went for a training. Just a training. He can't be dead.

I felt Abigail's hands on me. She tried to steady me before I went down, but my body turned to lead and sunk to the earth. She rubbed circles on my back as my body racked with sobs. I was still screaming, not realizing the crowd of other town members filing out of the doors of the saloon.

Some froze at the sight of me, a couple more came close. Rosemary was at my other side in an instant, her arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me to her. My left hip hit the dirt as I leaned into her and gripped her other arm, still sobbing.

It hurt. God, did it hurt. It was still new. We were still new. And he was gone? How could this happen?

"What happened?" Bill asked after running out of the jail with Lee, and before noticing the mountie in-front of us. "Oh no." is all he said.

I could feel my throat getting drier, and drier as I sobbed. My vision blurred so badly from all of my tears.

"Elizabeth," Rosemary's voice was soft but strained. "Elizabeth, try to stand up." I could hear her, but I wasn't processing what she was saying. Everything seemed to be underwater like I dunked my head under the water in the bath. "Sweetheart, we can't stay in the road. Come on."

She was shifting beside me, and again, I heard her but couldn't fully grasp what was happening. I felt a hand placed firmly on my arm, and I was helped to my feet and with Abigail and Rosemary on either side of me to ensure I was steady, we went into Abigail's.

They placed me on the couch, "Rosemary, get her a glass of water, cups are in the cabinet." Abigail's voice was thick with sadness as she gave Rosemary instructions.

One of my hands covered my mouth, for what reason I didn't know, while the other covered my heart. It pounded against my rib cage, seeming like it was trying to escape. I felt like I couldn't keep any air in my lungs and everything was hazy. Things, objects, in the small living room I'd seen a million times were just blobs of color.

I don't remember when Abigail had sat down next to me and pulled me to her. But I'm glad she did. I sobbed into her blouse, and Rosemary's hand rested on my leg, trying to comfort me in any way possible.

"No. No. No." I moaned the words, out of pain, grief, love. I felt everything at once. I was just informed that the love of my life was dead.

What had happened? Was he injured? Attacked? Had he come down with a sudden illness that couldn't be treated? I needed these answers, but when? I certainly could not handle them now.

I heard Lee and Bill walk in, they stayed silent and just, watched me. They watched me as I sobbed and repeated over and over again, "Jack… Jack… No, Jack… No."

"Shh, it's going to be alright," Rosemary cooed, "It'll be okay." She was lying through her teeth. How would anything be okay? After this.

Cody and Robert walked in shortly after and Bill urged them upstairs. Away from the mess that I was.

It was selfish of me to take over Abigail's home like this… But I didn't care. I didn't care what I did, what I said, or how I looked at this moment. My husband, my best friend, Jack… was gone. And I was allowed to be selfish.

So... Any feels yet? Let me know what you think! I love getting messages with feedback and comments! Nothing mean, please. I know I'm not the best writer.