The scene opened on a lonely box of Lucky Charms sitting on the dining room table. Sunlight spilled in from every wall of the first floor to catch the red shade just right. Yuri Plisetsky lugged down the stairs in a tiger onesie, shoulders slumped over, eyes dark, puffy and more than vaguely aggravated. Pichit, who'd been playing Super Mario Bros. on the sofa with Chris, noticed the Russian Punk's arrival and gave a sharp intake of breath. Chris only grinned. There was about to be some shit.
Yuri shot them a short, but adequately derisive scowl before stomping around the dark marble kitchen counter over to the table. He yanked a bowl from the dishwasher and snatched up the Lucky Charms box so harshly that it nearly flew out of his hands. Giving the box a confused look, he shook at it a bit. Then he pried it open and peeked inside.
"HUH?!" he roared.
"Here we go," Chris mouthed.
"WHO THE FUCK ATE MY LUCKY CHARMS?!" Yuri bellowed to the entire house, ripping the box open with his bare hands.
"I don't know, Yuri," Pichit frowned with much sympathy. "It wasn't us. Did you ask Otabek? You know he likes the purple ones."
"OTABEK WOULD NEVER EAT MY LUCKY CHARMS!" Yuri snapped in his direction, causing him to burrow further into the cushions. "It was probably that PIG friend of yours!"
In a striking shift, laughter suddenly broke the angry tension that had so quickly arrested the room.
"Yuuri!" came the soft, Gru-like tones of Viktor Nikiforov. "That was so much fun! We should picnic everyday!" He nuzzled against Yuuri's cheek, arms draped around him.
"Viktor…" Yuuri started tersely as he all but dragged the larger man through the screen door, two bowls full of milk in his hands. "You're going to make me drop these!"
"It's alright," Viktor nuzzled harder, pressing more of his weight onto Yuuri. "Think of it as balance training!"
Chris scoffed and turned to Pichit with a face that plainly said 'Kill me now'. Pichit was engrossed in his iPhone, snapping away.
Before Yuuri could make it to the dishwasher, Yuri had blocked his path, eyes slit, fists clenched. They simply blinked at him.
"What's that you're holding, pig?" Yuri grumbled under his breath, shoulders trembling.
"Huh?" Yuuri looked down at the bowls. "… bowls?"
"Bowls OF WHAT?!"
Yuuri and Viktor frowned. "Milk?"
"ENOUGH!" Yuri lashed out an arm, one index finger pointed at them. "DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT EAT MY FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS?!"
"... We thought they were everyone's Lucky Charms." Yuuri explained.
"Sharing is caring, Yurio," Viktor added.
"MY GRANDPA SENT THOSE FOR ME!" Viktor frowned thoughtfully.
"Well, it wasn't in your personal cabinet so…" He grinned a heart shaped grin. "DIBS!" Ignoring Yuri's twitching eyes, his attention drifted downward. "Yurio…" he started. "Is that a baby Simba onesie?"
"No!" Yuri protested at once, stretching the material of the onesie to give them a better look. "It's a tiger suit! It's HARDCORE!"
Yuuri grinned, a small blush on his cheeks. "Kawaii!"
"RIGHT?!" Viktor cooed. "I want a Makkachin one!"
CUT TO CONFESSION ROOM
Yuri's fingers dug violently into the crimson Confession Room chair.
"I swear to fucking God if they call me cute one more time, I'm gonna knife a bitch!"
"IT'S!" Yuri huffed. "HARD!" Yuri puffed. "CORE!" He swung a foot around, knocking the bowls from Yuuri's hands and sending them crashing upon the hardwood floor. He smirked as they cracked and splintered before turning rebellious eyes on Yuuri. "You clean it up, pig!"
"Awwwwww." Another voice entered the room from the top of the stairs. "Someone's an angry kitty!" J.J descended in a velvet robe with a particularly large bowl of Lucky Charms, his theme song blasting from his phone.
"NOT A KITTY!" Yuri hissed, his breathing uneven.
"Is the Leprechaun missing his gold?" J.J teased further.
"I ALREADY GOT THE GOLD YOU BRONZE BITCH!" Yuri bellowed.
"Oohoohoooo…" Chris snickered. "He set himself up for that one…"
"Yuri," Otabek suddenly appeared at the heaving punk's side with a small silver, blue and red device. "Your inhaler."
"Hey J.J!" Chris greeted him. "We were just about to go grab a bite!"
"Great!" J.J's eyes lit up. "I'll come too!"
"NO!" Nearly everyone exclaimed.
"I mean," Pichit started as he and Chris slowly backed away. "It looks like you have enough Lucky Charms…"
"And it'll probably take some time to recover from that burn." Chris whistled.
"Dick." Yuri cursed mid-puff, letting Otabek lead him away.
"We'll just go on our own," Viktor explained in a honeyed tone, crowding Yuri toward the screen door again.
J.J nodded awkwardly. "O-Oh. Okay then."
CUT TO CONFESSION ROOM
J.J sat in the chair in his robe, spooning at soggy Lucky Charms, 'Theme of J.J' still blasting from his phone.
"Can you believe my life right now?" he asked the camera. "This is great!"
The record skipped and suddenly soft, melancholy music began to play. "It's just…"
The camera zoomed in.
"Sometimes I feel…" his voice wavered. "Like no one wants to talk to me…"
The music swelled.
"... because their too nervous to approach a King like me." He dabbed at his eyes a bit before winking at the camera. "I hope they learn to just be themselves. After all," The Theme of J.J resumed. "Only I can do… J.J STYLE!"
Welcome to Yuri! Uncensored! Where all six of the Grand Prix final contestants and five time gold medalist Viktor Nikiforov join together to compete again… FOR LAST ROOMMATE STANDING. Who will win the million dollar prize?! YOU DECIDE!
Voting commences soon!
Authors Note: Hope you guys like this goofy idea. Please feel free to add things you'd like to see. Like Reality show cliches and trials and what not. After a few more chapters, I will probably ask for votes and the least popular skater goes!