Fishing with Her Highness
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Zelda. Try looking in Japan.
Da Scribbler says: Ocarina of Time, at last! So yes, this is my first OoT fanfic...woot...This is a sort of possible excerpt from the lives of Link and Zelda. It's kind of after the style of Startide Risen's Zelda oneshots, except I don't really think mine is nearly as good...naw, this one is a bit more empathasis on the comedy part. As for setting, it's probably after OoT and Majora's Mask; that is, the second time that they've gone through those seven years.
And for the record, I am much more a Zelda than a Link when it comes to real life fishing. I suck at it. Strangely enough, I like fishing in Zelda games. Go figure.
Just out of curiosity, is anybody else having difficulty making the "Select/Change Category" box appear when publishing their fic? Aside from that, I don't have anything else to say so...
Read, enjoy, and review!
A young man in a green tunic was standing in one of the alleyways of the alleyways of Castle Town. He whistled idly to himself as he glanced at the position of the sun overhead.
"Castle Town really needs a clock...it could use Clock Town as an example...s'cuse me," he asked a passing housewife. She stopped; the basket in her hand swayed perilously.
"Do you need something?"
"Do you by any chance know what time it is?"
"The time? I believe its ten minutes past noon."
He nodded absentmindedly to himself. "Yep. She's late."
"Waiting for your girlfriend?" The older woman asked, glancing at him appraisingly.
He laughed. "Hardly. Just got a date with a friend."
"You sure she's not with another man?" The woman was not to be convinced easily.
He laughed again, as if at some inside joke. "Quite sure. I'd like to see the man with the guts to hit on her, but that's beside the point. Thanks."
"My pleasure. I hope your girlfriend shows up soon."
"Friend."
"Right," she said sceptically as she walked away, the basketful of fruit threatening to spill. The young man resumed his whistling. A few minutes later, he heard a familiar shifting gait coming from behind him. He grinned and turned around.
"'Lo, Zelda. You're late," he said to the young Sheikah behind him.
"This better be good, Link," she (or he? Link still wasn't sure about the whole gender thing and deemed it most prudent not to ask) said flatly.
"You could sound more enthusiastic," he commented. Sheik rolled her crimson eyes at him.
"Impa and the senators are not going to be happy when I get back."
"Sneaked out of the Castle again?"
"On your request. Just what did you call me out here for?"
"Recreation," he told her brightly. Zelda stared at him, or rather, glared, the one that said You-have-three-seconds-to-say-that-you're-kidding-or-I'm-going-to-chew-your-head-off.
"You told me to sneak out of the Castle for some recreation time?" she asked in a voice stiff with exasperated amazement at his folly.
"Well, I technically didn't tell you to sneak out, I just told you to meet me here, but yes, pretty much," he responded.
"Link, has anybody told you that for someone who's saved the world, you are incredibly stupid?"
"Um, yeah, you have. I think this makes the total thirty-four?"
"I'm not laughing," she told him in a voice like ice.
"That's exactly the problem," Link said earnestly. "I know that you spent seven years disguised as one, so that might have made you a bit confused, but you need to realize that you're not a Sheikah – it's alright to laugh! Or is there some obscure branch of noble etiquette that strictly forbids princesses from having fun either?"
Sheik's arms remained crossed but Link could've sworn that he saw her cheek lift in the hint of a smile above her shawl. He took that as a good sign and went on.
"I don't know how you manage it, honestly. Spending day after day cooped up in the Castle, being all royal," he mock shuddered at the idea. "It makes my brain just thinking about it. No, it really does. Ouch!" He winced theatrically and rubbed his head through his green hat.
"I daresay my brain is made out of tougher stuff than yours," Sheik answered somewhat smugly.
"Right, since you're the Chosen of Nayru and all that. But even you've got to be sick of it sometimes. As I hear it from Impa, you used to sneak out all the time," he grinned at her.
Sheik muttered something that sounded like an epithet against nosy heroes.
"Well? I'm waiting."
"Alright fine," she snapped. "I get sick of court and being a princess. Sometimes I just want to chuck my crown and sceptre straight out of the window. Happy?"
"Very," he answered cheerily.
"I hate you sometimes."
"Stress. I bet that's what gives you such a bad temper," he commented. "Some recreation time could relieve that, you know?"
"Just where are you planning to go anyways?"
"Lake Hylia."
"Lake...Link, even on horseback, it takes days to get there."
"That's why we're using this," he beamed at her as he pulled out a little ocarina.
She stared at the little instrument for a moment before she sighed and uncrossed her arms. "Ok, fine. I give. I've already snuck out of the Castle anyways she I might as well get in trouble with due cause."
"So glad you see it my way," he said blithely. "By the way, are you planning to stay as Sheik all day?"
Sheik scowled at him darkly. There was a flash of light and then Zelda was standing before him, wearing the same scowl. "Happy?" she asked sourly. She had left off the royal gowns and was dressed in a dress of a plainer style.
"I was just asking," he said defensively. She rolled her eyes at him.
"Just get playing," she commanded.
"Right, as you wish, your Highness," he grinned, offering her an arm. She scowled at him as she grasped it.
"Play," she ordered again.
"So impatient," Link noted as he set the Fairy Ocarina to his lips and began to play. As the notes poured out, a soft blue lift shone around them. The sound of the busy Marketplace gave way to the soft lapping of water against the shore and then they were gone from the shadowy alleyway and standing on a pedestal set on an isle in the middle of Lake Hylia.
"It's sunny," Link commented in a somewhat resigned voice as he stowed away the Fairy Ocarina in his Kokiri pouch. It disappeared comfortably inside, along with the rest of his weapons and items.
"You sound disappointed," Zelda said, eyebrow raised.
"Yeah, I was kind of hoping it'd be raining," he said as they made their way towards the shore, the rope bridge creaking and swaying as they walked.
"Okay," Zelda said, throwing her hands in the air. "You've lost me. Just what in Hyrule did you drag me out here for?"
"Fishing," Link beamed, sounding as though he had just given her the best present in the world.
Zelda stared at him blankly. "Fishing," she repeated.
He nodded enthusiastically.
"Link..." she said slowly; she was recovering from the surprise and he could hear the sarcasm creeping back into her voice. "I don't know how to break this to you, but fishing has got to be the most boring sport in the world."
"Tisn't!" He said indignantly.
"Unless I'm mistaken, fishing generally involves sitting and waiting for the better part of an hour."
"It's worth the wait when you finally reel in one of those huge lunkers-"
"And since when have you caught anything bigger than 7 pounds?"
"Just because you weren't there doesn't mean..."
The spent the whole way to the fishing hole arguing back and forth about whether fishing was worthwhile or not. Link eventually succeeded in dragging a reluctant Zelda through the door.
"Welcome to the fishing hole! Its twenty rupees for – oh, it's you again. Eh? Brought a lady friend today?"
"Two fishing rods please," Link said brightly.
"Link..." Zelda started in a doubtful tone. "I don't think-"
He cut her off by stuffing a pole in her hands. "You've got your pole, now you've got to get closer to the water. That's where the fish are," Link said in the tone of one explaining to a toddler that two plus two equals four.
"Thank you, Sir Obvious," Zelda answered rather nastily, but she stepped to the edge of the water all the same.
"D'you know how to cast the line?"
"To what?"
"Cast the line into the water. You kind of have to throw in the line so you can move around the bait. Like this," he said as he expertly cast his line into the middle of the pond and reeled it back in. "From here, you can reel in the bait and move it around."
"Um..." Zelda followed his example clumsily. Her bait feebly fell a few feet from the water's edge.
"You're not going to catch anything like that," he said mildly.
"Shut it," she snapped. She tugged at the fishing rod, frowning as she tried to reel it in. "I think it's stuck."
"You probably got it stuck in some seaweed."
She tugged a little harder and the bait suddenly leapt free of the dark tangle. "Bah," Zelda grumbled as she eyed the seaweed caught onto the end of her line. "This is such a waste of time," she muttered darkly as she picked it off and threw it back into the pond.
"Remember, you have to throw it hard. Sure you don't need help with that?" Link asked.
"No thanks," she snapped. She whipped her pole back and-
"ARGH!"
Link and Zelda turned their heads as Zelda's line went whizzing into the fishing pond. The fisherman was up on his feet, fairly dancing with outrage. For once, he had even forgotten to scratch himself.
"My hat! My hat!" he howled, pointing accusingly at Zelda.
"I'm sorry-?"
"You hooked my hat!"
Link turned to look at the pond. Sure enough, bobbing happily on the surface of the pond was the fisherman's hat. He had just enough time to open his mouth in an "o" of horror as it sank beneath the surface.
"Oops," Zelda whispered.
"Now you've done it..." Link groaned.
After the fisherman yelled himself hoarse at them, he subsided into tears.
"My hat....my hat..."
"I didn't mean to...I'm sorry, so sorry!" Zelda said, shame-faced as she rushed to the weeping man's side.
Link was looking rather guilty; Zelda had a sneaking suspicion that he could rather sympathize with the fisherman's attachment to his now lost hat.
"Hey...uh...what if I, what if I look for your hat?" He offered hastily. The fisherman immediately grabbed at the offer.
"Yes, yes, yes! Find my hat! Find it or I'll charge you an arm and a leg for it!"
After Link spent the better part of forty-five minutes searching the bottom of the pond (which Zelda spent consoling the still weepy fisherman), he finally surfaced, soaking wet, but with the sodden hat triumphantly in hand.
"Thank Nayru for Zora Tunics," Link said simply as the fisherman cried with joy.
"Now that you've found the hat, we can just leave now, can't we?" Zelda asked hopefully.
"Are you kidding?" Link asked, looking at her incredulously. "We haven't even caught anything yet!"
Zelda sighed darkly as she sat down. "Men," she muttered.
***
After two hours of fishing, (or rather, trying to catch a fish) Zelda looked ready to fall asleep. Link was somehow still as enthusiastic as he had been at the beginning of the two hours.
"Almost got that one too," Link said ruefully as he reeled in his fish-less line. "Maybe I should look for the Sinking Lure...d'you think I'll be able to pull off using it without the fisherman noticing?"
"Mm...," Zelda mumbled listlessly, reeling in her line lethargically.
"Yeah, I guess not," Link said, scrutinizing the pond. "I think I'll put on my Hover Boots instead."
"Mm...," Zelda mumbled again, casting her line with about as much energy as a Redead. She started reeling her line wearily when Link put a hand on her arm.
"Hang on a moment, I think something's gonna bite," he said, squinting at the line out on the pond.
"That's what you said five minutes ago," she said dully.
"Well, yeah, but I'm pretty – woah!" He yelped as the bait on the end of Zelda's line suddenly disappeared in a flash of fins. Zelda blinked a little and gasped as the line went rigid, the fishing pole straining; the fish she had hooked was clearly trying it's very best to escape.
"Din, this is a big one!" He yelled as she struggled to keep her rod from flying into the pond. She was on her feet now, the better to combat the hooked fish. He got to his feet as well as he shouted instructions out loud. "Don't forget to reel it – pull it to the left, the left – now right – DON'T PULL!"
A long, dark eel like thing jumped out of the water, fighting viciously to free itself of the hook. It landed back in with a huge splash of water and the line went rigid again.
"Oh my goddess, that was the Hylian Loach! You hooked the Loach!" Link screamed; he seemed quite beside himself with excitement.
"The Hylian Lo-?" She gave a little scream of surprise as the fishing pole suddenly slid several inches through her fingers.
"C'mon, fight it! You hooked the Hylian loach, the Hylian Loach, you can't let it go! Oh, for the love of Farore-" Link grabbed the pole from behind her and together they heaved mightily. The gigantic eel like fish jumped again, thrashing angrily.
"Reel! Reel!" Link shouted.
"I think the line's going to break," Zelda gasped nervously as the line quivered from the massive tug-of-war going on between the Hylians and the Loach. It was stretched as tight as the strings on a harp and looked quite ready to snap.
"No, it's not, just keep on reeling it in!"
The princess and the hero heaved again, the Loach swam just as determinedly away; the line quivered ominously.
"For the love of Nayru, won't it just give up?" Zelda cried out some five minutes later. Link just groaned sympathetically as they pulled at the still rigid line. The Loach was still fighting, but with much less vigour tan before. Both ends seemed exhausted. They pulled yet again; the outcome was doubtful for a few moments and then the line suddenly fell slack and the two, panting and gasping, reeled in the finally defeated Loach.
"Sweet, merciful Din!" Link said in an awed voice, holding up the massive fish. "It's got to be at least thirty pounds!"
"Is that good?" she panted, trying to catch her breath.
"Good? My biggest catch was fifteen pounds!" Link grinned at her.
"By Farore, Link," Zelda said crtitically, but she was smiling all the same. "You are an awful fisherman."
"Not anymore – we caught the Hylian Loach! We caught the Hylian Loach!" Link started to whoop, punching the air. Zelda couldn't help it; his childish enthusiasm was infectious. She laughed with him.
"C'mon, let's bring it to the fisherman! Nobody's caught it before – we're bound to get some sort of-"
He yelled as the Loach suddenly twitched and then lashed out viciously. The line of the rod, worn out from the long struggle, stretched, bent, and snapped. The loach fell to the ground, bounced once, twice, and then there was a splash as it slipped back into the pond, trailing line behind it.
There was a comical moment of stunned silence in which they gaped at each other, wide eyed and mouths hanging open.
"DIN!" Link howled as he chucked the line-less rod to the floor. "It got away! Goddess damn that bloody son of a-"
Zelda started to laugh.
"What's up with you?" he asked, pausing in his cussing to look at her bemusedly. For some reason, this just made her laugh even harder.
"The look on your face!" she crowed, doubling over. She sank weakly to the ground and laughed, clutching at her sides.
Link looked at her, exasperated like. "Of all the reactions that you could've had, you're choosing to laugh at the look on my face?"
"Not really..." she choked through the laughter. She was slightly calmer, although still giggling. "It's just...the odds! What were the odds?"
Link looked apprehensively at her; he looked slightly doubtful of her sanity. He crouched down next to her and waved a hand in front of her face. "Zelda? Could you possibly try to make yourself coherent?"
"So I hook a fish...and it just happens to be the Loach that nobody's ever caught...and then, by some stroke of fortune, we actually catch it...and then it escaped!" Zelda shrieked with mirth. "My Goddess, what were the odds of that?"
"Probably about one in a million," Link groaned. Zelda laughed. "Exactly!" she said.
"You have a sick sense of humour," he said critically. She only laughed at him. He found himself smiling ruefully back as he sat down. "The odds, eh? Well, we're always beating the odds, aren't we?"
"How so?"
"You know," he said, with a vague gesture of his hand. "The whole business of wanting to protect the Triforce but scattering it instead, finding you after going through all those Goddess-forsaken temples only to have you kidnapped by Ganondorf at last, and then stabbing him in the gut and getting the hell out of that place only to find out that he somehow survived having a castle fall on top of him! Goddess!" he shook his head. "Fate must be out to get us."
"Don't forget all the good things," Zelda reminded him. "Ganondorf seized the Triforce but it split into three and came to us. You went through "death-riddled" temple after temple yet managed to survive. You found me even if it did take you seven years to do it. And you defeated Ganondorf, even if you're only an oddly dressed teenager with a weird hat."
He frowned at her jab about his clothes but decided to leave it alone. "So you're saying Fate must love us?"
"Maybe. I don't think Fate can hate us, that's all," she said with a shrug.
"Just why are we talking about such heavy things as Fate anyways?" he asked abruptly. "We came out here to relax and fish, not to depress ourselves."
"Fate depresses you?"
"Mildly so."
"Fine, we won't talk about it," she rolled her eyes at him. "Instead, we can swear some more over the fish getting away."
"The Loach," he corrected her mournfully as he picked up the discarded fishing poles. "I can't believe we let it get away..."
"Well, there's always next time," Zelda said reassuringly.
He brightened at that. "That there definitely is. And next time, we should definitely-"
"We?" Zelda repeated.
"Oh, come on. Don't try to tell me that you didn't have fun today!"
"I spent two hours half-asleep."
"And then had ten minutes worth of pure adrenaline."
"Ten minutes against two hours, gee, I guess there's no competition there."
"But can you still honestly say that you still think fishing is the most boring sport in the world?" Link asked doggedly.
"Yes," she said stoutly. He raised an eyebrow at her. She scowled. "That is to say, I still can't think of a sport more boring than fishing but, oh, alright. It wasn't thatbad," she admitted.
"Not that bad?"
"Alright, fine. I enjoyed myself, there. Happy now?"
"Um, not quite yet."
"You are so impossible," Zelda groaned. "Fine, you have my permission to take me fishing with you next time – it better not be too often, you hear me?" For Link had started whooping again.
"So you agree?" He demanded. "You won't change your mind?"
"I don't think I have any other option."
"So I won't hear any excuses? Or complaints?"
"You'd ignore me anyways."
"Deal!" Link said happily. He half expected Zelda to scowl at him but she ended up laughing instead.
"Wait until Impa hears this," she said, smiling at the thought. "'I sneaked out of the Castle to go fishing and ended up losing the fish!' She's going to murder me."
"I should think she's more likely to murder me," Link said. "I'm the idiot who convinced her Highness to go fishing with me."
"Idiot," she accused him again.
"That's me," he said cheerily. "The idiot who saved Hyrule."
"Only the Goddesses know how," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Amen," he finished for her solemnly. "Especially when said hero just got bested by a fish."
Zelda couldn't help it; she started to laugh. Link just grinned.
It's a bit of an awkward ending, I know, but I couldn't quite find a way to wrap it up, so this is the best I've got. Please, please, please review!
You might be expecting another Ocarina of Time oneshot up soon (can't be certain though - school in a week!), cuz as soon as I was done writing this, another idea popped in my head. Weird, eh? But it's such a promising oneshot idea...I can't help but pursue it.
Til then,
~Da Scribbler