A Matter of Honor
.
.
"Sometimes, I really hate this job."
He patted the small, leather bound trunk with his scarred up hand. He'd been in too many wars, after all. And the signs were there. But, he knew that there were the kind of scars that people couldn't see—ones that were far longer lasting.
The carriage was hot, stuffy, and dark inside with the brown curtains drawn. Yozak, dressed as a royal advisor, was decked out in white clothing loaned to him by Günter who also included a lesson on how to walk, talk, and serve His Majesty to the fullest.
Riding backwards in a carriage always upset his stomach, for riding backwards seemed unnatural to him. Yozak rode horses and loved them. So, he always faced one way and his body, of course, went in that direction. In the carriage, however, he was not doing so. Instead, he was sitting across from Yuuri and Wolfram who were on their way to the Bielefeld territories to attend the celebration of Waltorana von Bielefeld's marriage to Lady Jane Whitehall.
Yuuri, a bit bored now, pulled back the curtain and stuck his head out.
"Stop it, wimp!" Wolfram griped. "You know that there are bandits in this area and some of them have skilled archers. Do you really want to get an arrow between your eyes?"
The double black thumbed to the person riding outside his window on a dark brown steed. "Look, it's okay. Conrad's right here. I can talk to him as we go along. And we have Yozak in here with us. So, we're fine." He gave a boyish grin and Wolfram "humphed," folding his arms across his chest and turning his face away. A raven eyebrow rose to that. "Whatever," the double black grumbled in return—deciding to carry on as he wished.
He can be such a pain sometimes.
Yuuri, as usual, chose to ignore Wolfram. Instead, he turned brightly to Conrad. He folded his arms on the windowsill and placed his chin on them. "Hi! How's it going?"
"Fine Your Majesty," Conrad said pleasantly.
"Oh, not that again. It's 'Yuuri.' Y-U-U-R-I. Remember? After all, you named me."
The same old script. The same old lines…
Wolfram leaned his head against the side of the carriage and closed his eyes. Sleep was his only escape now. What a sad farewell.
Sky blue eyes flicked back and forth between Yuuri and Wolfram.
Yozak knew that if it hadn't been for the fact that the invitation named them both specifically, Wolfram would have preferred to go alone—even if the court would notice and gossip about him for the next fortnight. These days, Wolfram spent more and more time alone. And, frankly, it bothered Yozak.
The flirtatious spy gave the look to Conrad—the one that said "We need to be careful." He also glanced at a sleeping Wolfram and back again. Conrad's eyes seem to ask a question and Yozak answered. It was always that way between them—a connection, a bond that they shared with no one else. Over the years, the spy had actually tried to form bonds with other men and women. Gissela came the closest. She knew when he was injured and when he wasn't, understood his need to be independent, and his desire to appear and disappear in people's lives at will. There was just a part of Yozak that couldn't commit for various reasons. There were times when he'd convince himself to take that leap of faith. Just try…overcome fear of the unknown. But, then, he'd see Wolfram and, just as quickly, he'd back off again—letting the shadow cover his heart.
To give someone that special piece of yourself was a gamble at best. One-sided love. That was what Wolfram had come to symbolize. To offer that most precious part of yourself only to have it ignored, tolerated, or out and out discarded would have been too much. Yozak had lost a lot of people in his life—from his parents down to comrades in arms. So, he could never truly commit and Conrad seemed to understand it with greater patience than what he had for himself.
But Conrad is so blind when it comes to his younger brother, Yozak thought to himself as he watched a sleeping Wolfram being rocked gently by the carriage as they went along the road.
"We should shut the curtains until we get a little closer to the Bielefeld border where the guards are positioned," Yozak said with a wink, much to Yuuri's chagrin.
"Agreed," Conrad said and smiled as the curtain was pulled across by an annoyed looking double black. He knew this was for his own good, but still…
"Great," he said glumly, "we can sit in the dark for a few more hours."
A laugh in the dim light.
"Is my company really so bad?" Yozak teased.
The double black's eyes widened. "Oh, no…no, that's not it at all." He waved his palms before him. Then, Yuuri turned to his right and glanced at the sleeping blond, head propped up on the side of the carriage.
Yuuri motioned at Wolfram. "It's just that…he's been in such a bad mood lately…"
"Obviously, he would," Yozak confirmed as though a child of three could figure it out. "He's going to see his favorite uncle's wedding. And that can't feel very good when his own engagement has been dragging on for four years."
Yuuri nodded uncomfortably at it. The spy was right.
The von Bielefeld relatives would probably all stare and, maybe, whisper behind Wolfram's back.
"Not to mention," the orange haired man went on, "that if his engagement becomes dissolved he'll carry that shame until the day he dies. It will be the first thing people remember about him and not his sunny hair, emerald eyes, bravery, blind loyalty, or kindness to Greta." The smile no longer reached Yozak's eyes. He lowered his voice. "All will be forgotten and, history will record him as a failure—someone who could not please his king." With the palm of his hand, he brushed out his white robes a little and added, "You do understand what I mean by 'pleased,' right?"
"That's…stupid," Yuuri shot back in an undertone—trying not to wake the sleeping blond next to him. And with a frown, he turned to the brown curtain with pin pricks of bright sunlight bleeding through.
"No," Yozak said, "it's just that in our world the 'engagement' is more like a 'wedding' and the actual 'wedding' itself is a 'party'."
Yuuri toyed with the curtain's silk-lined edge listlessly. "That's really confusing, you know."
Yozak leaned back in his seat and copied Wolfram's pose—folding his arms across his chest. "No, what I've always found confusing were some of the traditions. You know…the 'old ways.' And while things have changed over the centuries…relaxed a little…no one has actually outlawed all of them."
Yuuri blinked curiously. "Old ways? Such as…"
"Once, when I was undercover at a pub, Lord Waltorana von Bielefeld sauntered in with three beautiful women. He bought them all drinks and…as a witness…I have no idea what he planned for them all to do that night." Yozak winked roguishly.
"Eh?" Yuuri said, only slightly pleased that he wasn't as innocent as people thought.
A shrug was his answer.
"And…then what?" Yuuri urged, but not sure if he really wanted the answer or not.
Yozak pulled a piece of orange hair behind his left ear. "Well, I remember the ladies asking about whether or not he was single. And, at that time, he was. But he told his lovely companions that he had to be very careful who he was engaged to because, should it be broken, his family had the option of …"
Wolfram gave a piggy snore. He rubbed his blond locks against the wall and tried to snuggle closer to something—anything—which would give him comfort or ease.
Yozak gave a sad glance to Wolfram and Yuuri saw it. "Go on, Yozak," he said.
"Oh, yes…" He nodded. "Lord Waltorana von Bielefeld mentioned his family having the option to order 'Honor's Resolution' should a high ranking engagement become broken.
Yuuri scratched his head. "What's…that?"
Ice blue eyes darted in Wolfram's direction and the spy waited for a few more snores to pass Wolfram's lips before he continued.
"Surely, someone's told you…" Yozak shifted on the bench seat to delay his answer and to make his listener squirm a little. "Günter perhaps?" His white clothing rustled. Yes, in his bodyguard duties on this trip, he was really getting into the act of "royal advisor."
"It actually sounds…" Yuuri scratched his chin thoughtfully the way a schoolboy would during a math test. "Kinda…familiar…"
The spy sighed. "Well, not all families do this, but those in the Bielefeld territories have a strong sense of honor and pride. It's not just a matter of personal honor—personal virtues, values, and the like. They have 'family honor' in which 'honor' is equally spread out and shared. When one benefits, they all benefit—from courtly life to business dealings. What hurts one of them, hurts all of them. So, if honor is lost…" Yozak looked to Wolfram again. "Then…well, uhhh….it has to be regained again and it has to be witnessed among the family."
Yuuri didn't quite follow. "And that would be…?"
Yozak's head fell forward a little bit, thinking of Conrad's feelings more than Yuuri's. "I think my captain would suffer more than anyone should that come to pass. I pray that it doesn't. In fact, because I'm not sure what I would be forced to do…or ever be allowed to do…" His eyes fell on Wolfram who was now sound asleep, his hands in his lap.
"What would they make him do?" Yuuri asked quietly, almost afraid.
The hushed voice tore Yozak from his thoughts. But he was grateful for it because his imagination was a horrible and vivid thing. But it was war that gave such a graphic nature to it.
Yozak tilted his head to one side and studied Yuuri. Why Wolfram was so taken with the double black truly mystified him sometimes. The kind of power that Yuuri had at court, and didn't use, was also a mystery.
"They'd force him back to Bielefeld…"
"Oh, is that all," Yuuri sighed with relief, leaning back in his seat.
"And order him to fall on his sword."
Raven eyes widened and he hissed, "You've gotta be kidding me! That's barbaric!"
"There's no law against it."
Yuuri shook his head "no." "I can't allow this. In fact, I won't." A look of grim determination spread across his face. This was unfair and unjust. "Once I get back, believe me, I'll change it so that no one can order Wolfram to die."
Yozak stared curiously once more. "It's not an order, Your Majesty."
Yuuri shrunk back a little at the "Your Majesty" part because he was so used to being called "Kiddo" by the spy. He wasn't sure if Yozak was enjoying his temporary "role" or if something was changing between them.
Seeing that, Yozak smirked inwardly. He also noted he had the double black's full attention. Good. He searched his mind for a way to explain it to the young king. "This is more like…an expectation. By taking your own life, you convey the extent to which you feel remorse. Get it now?"
"This just can't happen." Yuuri shook his head in denial. And, even though the carriage lacked ventilation, he felt something cold run through him.
Yozak turned his head in the direction of the curtain. Conrad's profile had disappeared from the window and, now, the bottom of the curtain was filled with very bright pinpricks of light from the setting sun.
The rumbling sound of his captain's voice met his ears. He was talking to the carriage driver.
The spy leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper so that the sleeping blond wouldn't awaken. He said, "Actually, from what I've heard through the grapevine, your fiancé there," he motioned to Wolfram, "is going to tell his uncle, before the wedding, that he's calling off his engagement with you."
"Wait! Why?" Yuuri hissed back lowly.
"He saw you in the garden…chatting with Lady Benoist's daughters. You seemed quite taken with them."
This time, Yuuri clamped his mouth shut.
The spy shifted on the bench seat to get more comfortable. "At the time, I actually stopped him from making a scene. We need Lady Benoist's assistance in setting up the new hospital in the von Christ territory. She has all the connections and the deed to the land."
Yuuri fidgeted where he sat. The daughters were actually very nice, pretty—long red hair and green eyes, lighter than Wolfram's, but striking. And the mother as quite fetching herself with similar hair and eyes but shorter in stature.
"I had no idea that Wolfram had seen me with Thea and Tanya. If I …" Yuuri had a sudden flash of memory. The girls had made a game out of kissing his cheeks without warning. He gave a pleading look to Yozak. "I mean, I would expect Wolfram to have… You know, rain fire and all that…yelling…and everything."
Yozak chuckled. "He did, actually. That's why there's a scorch mark on the ceiling above the dining hall. He just lost it before going inside the kitchen for something to drink to calm down." And, it was funny, too, because he was following the blond bishonen to keep an eye on him. "But, after that, he ran into Thea."
Raven eyes practically dilated at the thought. "No!" he moaned.
At this point, Yozak's smile took on a cruel form. And it worried Yuuri because he could see the spy remembering something.
"Thea, coming into the castle on the premise of seeing her mother, actually cornered your fiancé when she thought no one was around and had a few choice words with him."
"B-But, she's so nice!" he defended. "And a great dancer and plays chess so well and…"
Sky blue eyes grew hard. "Then, you should marry her and see what kind of queen Shin Makoku will have," Yozak interrupted with a mean edge to his voice. "Because, what I heard with my own ears was her suggestion that the only reason your fiancé stays with you is out of cowardice. That he fears Honor's Resolution."
Yuuri shook his head. The 'Thea' that he'd come to know over the past month was sweet, charming, submissive, and laughed a little too loudly behind her hand. Her washed out green eyes seemed to follow him wherever he went. Frankly, he liked that attention from such a pretty girl with a heart-shaped face.
Yozak narrowed his eyebrows in frustration. "My own ears, Your Majesty. And, spying is my profession, so…"
It was that "Your Majesty" thing again. Hurt, Yuuri chewed his lower lip. How could he be so wrong about someone?
"There's the added problem that I overheard it. Not that I would mention it…Because honor would dictate a duel over such a thing as someone questioning honor or an engagement. By all rights," the spy motioned briefly to the sleeping blond again, "he should be fighting a duel against a representative of her house." Yozak shook his head and said, "But he knows how much that hospital means to you and how hard you've worked to get the funds…not to mention the political backing…to bring things together."
Yuuri put a hand to his head, feeling a headache coming on. "This is a mess. Why didn't someone tell me?"
Yozak shrugged. "Well…we all know how the two of you are together."
Yuuri could feel his face flush. This was not an engagement that he would ever have chosen for himself. It was worse than the arranged marriage between Waltorana and Lady Jane. It was an accident. How was he supposed to know that slapping another person on the left cheek was a proposal? Then, it all snowballed from there. Now, he was saddled with a beautiful—but very male—fiancé.
"You don't care about him," Yozak said bluntly, "I mean…in the ways that truly matter, you don't."
"Excuse me," Yuuri returned, feeling his heartbeat in his chest and getting hot under the collar. "I think that how Wolfram and I are…or are not…together…. Well, it isn't anybody's business." He felt flustered but he knew he was right on that point.
"Actually," Yozak countered, "it is. And no one can predict how Waltorana is going to react to losing his direct tie to the throne through your fiancé. Once that's gone, they'll either order a quickie arranged marriage or…worse… It all depends on Lord Waltorana's mood and the rest of the relatives' support. You'll have no say in the matter."
Yuuri put his head in his hands. "What do we do?"
Yozak patted the small trunk sitting next to him on the bench seat. "My captain and I are prepared."
Yuuri beamed at him. A plan! Of course, they had one!
"My captain and I…right before we reach the border…" He took in Wolfram's sleeping form again. It looked more like a child, now, than an adult. There was something lonely about him sleeping there, too. The bishonen's thin hand reached out, searching for Yuuri for comfort. But, when he managed to touch him, Wolfram recoiled and his face bent into a grimace.
Yozak opened the trunk, inside was a light colored skin filled with some kind of murky fluid that reeked, a coil of what appeared to be hemp rope with esoteric beads woven into it, a blue glass bottle of liquid, and other things stuffed into the sides and bottom which Yuuri couldn't make out.
"We're going to fake his death," Yozak said matter-of-factly. "With this blood," he gestured to the full skin, "it will look as though an assassin was successful. We'll credit one of the local gangs with the deed and, I'm sure, they won't disagree with us." He lifted the rope. "In case he resists us…at first…until we can talk sense into him… Then, again, there's also the knock-out potion…"
Yuuri's black eyes shot to the side to make sure Wolfram was still sleeping. "You've got to be kidding me," he hissed back. "With this plan, he'll never be able to come home again. He'll lose his friends…Greta…" Yuuri almost blurted out "me."
Yozak was a practical man. He had been all his life. It was a pity that more people weren't like him. "When the engagement ends, where does that leave him? Would he be lowered to the role of bodyguard while he watches you cavort with beautiful faces?"
Yuuri felt his face flush again. This was too honest. "Who says it has to change? I kind of …like things as they are."
Yozak closed the trunk carefully—trying not to wake Wolfram. "Let's look at it another way. He's trying to do what's best for you…even if it means ending his own life. My captain and I are trying to save a life…even if it means lying to everyone and taking that secret to our graves. And, what you're asking for is…?"
Yuuri found it hard to breathe now. "Look, what you're asking is kind of…embarrassing. I mean, I'm not sure that I can… I feel …"
Yozak sighed impatiently. "Just let us do this, and you'll be free. It will be fine."
"Where are you taking him after this?"
"It doesn't matter."
"So, you won't tell me?" Yuuri couldn't believe that. He was king, after all, and deserved to know.
"It will all be over with soon enough," he responded vaguely.
Yuuri leaned forward again, voice low. "So, when were you planning on telling me?"
Ice blue eyes took on a hard edge once more, only giving a hint as to the man Yozak could be when pushed. "You know the answer to that."
"Never."
"The same as your wedding date," Yozak quipped and regretted it in the next instant. It wasn't as though weddings or relationships were really his thing. If anything, Conrad was the closest in his heart to love. But, there was no way—socially or militarily speaking—could they be together. There were evenings, however, whey they sat together in the rose garden and he allowed himself to lower his guard enough to doze on Conrad's shoulder for a few minutes.
"That was unfair," Yuuri said, eyes sharpening to a mock version of The Maou.
"I guess…you're right," Yozak shrugged. "But, the truth is, you weren't to know until it was far, far too late."
"Have you ever thought that maybe Waltorana wouldn't ask Wolfram to die? He loves him."
Yozak scratched his cheek. "That was true a few years ago. But, some of the more radical members of the family have become rising stars and they want to return to the old ways. There are three high ranking members of his family, recently, who have preached 'honor' and the necessity of defending it."
The double black glanced at Wolfram again. "We'll just persuade him not to do this."
"I don't know if you can. Would you really want him to live in this limbo for the rest of his life? Forever engaged? Forever embarrassed?"
Now, Yuuri could see Yozak giving Wolfram a look of deep pity. Had Wolfram been awake, the double black knew, he would have been mortified. A fireball would have been involved for sure.
"Either he dies for 'real' or he dies for 'pretend…'"
Wolfram muttered to himself and stretched like a cat, stiff neck moving to the side slowly. His green eyes opened a little bit, noticing how dark it was now. The blond fire wielder extended his palm and a small flickering candle flame hovered.
"The sun went down, huh?" He stifled a yawn. It was sweet.
Such a cute expression.
Yuuri tried to imagine not seeing Wolfram again for the rest of his life. No more running away from Wolfram. Running. But that was how the game was played, wasn't it? He would run and Wolfram would follow—shouting ridiculous things—arms and legs pumping. Green eyes too wide, mouth going a mile a minute.
He caught himself grinning.
But never again.
Ever.
His smile faded away.
Yuuri would never have Wolfram next to him at dinner. He'd never watch Wolfram read Greta another bedtime story or hear him shout out orders to his men on the practice fields. Wolfram would be missing when it was time to bathe and time to dress for an important social occasion.
This life would be very different without the blond fire wielder in it.
A grave.
There would be a grave, of course. Whether it was real or not, it wouldn't matter. Somewhere in Shin Makoku—decided by his family—there would be a marker for the life that had promise but no future.
Wolfram is surrounded by so many lies…
He looked at his fiancé from the corner of his eye. So unfair…
"What?" Wolfram said with an edge, sensing something was up with the wimp.
Yuuri looked to Yozak. The spy immediately tensed as they hit another bump in the road.
"What's going on, Yuuri?"
He lowered his raven head. This was it.
"Almost time," Conrad called to Yozak as a warning. Yuuri knew it, and he felt his heart hammering in response.
The horses clomped along a little quicker and Yuuri, in turn, tried hard to breathe.
Green eyes narrowed. "Yuuri? Are you feeling okay?" He brushed soft, dark bangs away with his fingers. "Are you…?"
He's always thinking of me…and only me. He has no idea what's going to happen in the next few minutes. And, once they have him, will they convince him to stay away? Somewhere? Anywhere? Will he feel abandoned? Yuuri's face, lit by candlelight from Wolfram's palm, turned to the blond next to him. I would… If everyone suddenly left my life right now, I'd feel abandoned…not wanted…alone…
What have I done to him…by doing nothing?
"You are sick," the blond determined. Yuuri was staring right through him and didn't respond no matter how many times he called his name in concern. "I'm going to have them stop the carriage."
Fearful black eyes widened and he gripped the front of Wolfram's blue dress uniform. "No! Don't do that!"
The blond felt fingers dig in and tighten.
"Yuuri, you're not well!" Wolfram argued. He sent the small candle flame hovering above them to free up his other hand. "This trip was too much…too far…in one day. See reason, will you?"
Yozak was muttering something inconsequential and Wolfram placed an open palm in his direction followed by "Shut up! I'm dealing with a sick fiancé over here."
At the word "fiancé," Yuuri's grip on Wolfram only loosened to the point where his hand trailed up to the shoulder and he pulled the blond in for a tight hug. "I want you," he whispered harshly, fearful that he might cry. Yuuri could feel the carriage slowing to a stop.
NO! No…not like this. I can't…!
"Yuuri?" Wolfram said gently, deeply concerned now. "You want me… to get you something?"
The carriage stopped and the occupants jostled with the halt.
Conrad must have jumped down from his horse. He could now hear the crunch of boots on the gravel road.
"December 21st," he choked out, face buried in the curve of Wolfram's neck from embarrassment. The date just suddenly occurred to him, so he'd go for it.
"I don't understand," the blond returned, rubbing soothing circles on Yuuri's back. "Just…stop shaking and tell me what's wrong…"
"December 21st…that's when we're going to get married."
Roughly, Wolfram grabbed Yuuri by both shoulders and pushed him back enough so that they could stare at each other—face to face. "Wha-? Honestly?"
Yuuri shook his head and then flashed a terrified look at Yozak. What if this wasn't enough?
Wolfram followed his gaze. He frowned with a dangerous edge to the curve of his lips. "Did someone put you up to this?"
"No," Yuuri answered lowly, still upset.
Wolfram, eyes still riveted to Yozak, explained, "Truth is… I was actually going to tell my uncle that the engagement between the two of us…is off…" He tilted his head to the side and looked at the double black thoughtfully. "And…maybe, it would be better if I still did…"
The blond fire wielder forced a thin smile.
This was for Yuuri. He deserved a better life than the one he was living now—chained to someone he didn't want and never would.
This had gone on too long.
Yuuri shook his head. There was no way he'd agree to it. Instead, he hugged Wolfram again.
Wolfram.
Gone.
No way.
"I-I'm the Demon King, right?" Yuuri said somewhat hesitantly as he released Wolfram. "And I'd prefer our wedding to be on December 21st…unless you have an objection."
"Huh?" Yozak said, slightly impressed. For good measure, he thumped the small, leather bound trunk with his knuckle—which rattled Yuuri and confused Wolfram. "Seriously?" He leaned forward.
"Was he talking to you?" Wolfram griped, staring daggers at the orange haired man. Then, he turned back to Yuuri. "Are you sure? I just want to ask because…well… Don't you want to think about this a little longer?"
Yuuri shook his head.
"Then, I have no objections to December 21st." He blushed a little bit at it, though.
"What's going on?" Conrad enquired as Yozak pulled back the curtain.
A devilishly bright smile greeted him with "These two have finally set a date." He thumbed at his fellow passengers. "It's December 21st."
Conrad turned to Yuuri, astonished. "That's…w-wonderful!"
"Did I pick a good day?" Yuuri asked. "It's not a bad luck day or a 'Day of the Dead' kind of thing, is it?"
"It's not necessarily the 'day,' so much as the 'night'," Yozak chuckled knowingly.
The double black looked confused and scratched his head. "I'm lost… What do you mean by that?"
Wolfram ran his hands through his hair a bit tensely. "You picked the winter solstice…or "The Longest Night"…to begin our honeymoon." Without reluctance, he took Yuuri's hand and laced fingers with it. For some reason, he simply knew that his touch would no longer be rejected. "Just you and me…alone…and the longest night of the year…"
Yuuri swallowed thickly. "Uhhh…lucky…me…?"
He couldn't breathe for a whole new reason.
Wolfram nodded in agreement, an adorable apple blush spreading across his face now. "Lucky you," he whispered back sincerely.
And, with that, Yozak had a few, joyful words with Conrad and the carriage carried on for its original destination.
Following the wedding reception, Conrad and Yozak—who still had white rose petals in his hair—were playing cards in an ornate bedroom set aside for wedding guests along with an expensive bottle of wine and a plate of bread and cheese for a midnight snack.
"Yozak?" Conrad said, sounding half distracted as he fanned out the well worn cards in his hand.
"Hm?" The spy smiled at him as he glanced over his cards.
The soldier placed a Green Dragon Ace onto the table. "Just curious…"
"About…what?" Yozak threw down a Phoenix Ace.
Conrad lowered his cards and gave a direct stare—the kind that was both alluring and frightening given the circumstances. "It's about that small trunk you brought with you." He thumbed at the article in question which was sitting on the bed. He tilted his head curiously. "What…exactly…is it for?"
"Ah," Yozak said with a sheepish grin, "it's a bunch of old junk that I've taken off of bandits and hoodlums during my recent travels. I know a trader here in Bielefeld Castle who will buy the stuff off of me and I can use the extra cash."
"Well, Yuuri Heika gave me the impression tonight at the reception that it was for something else." He threw down another card with a smirk coming to him. "So, what should I do if he asks again?"
The orange haired spy grinned widely. "Tell him…it's too late now."