Ok, so this is my first ever "Glee" fanfic, and it's also my first songfic. I proofed this myself, so any mistakes are mine and mine alone.
I don't own the show or the characters (if I did, I would be a very wealthy woman). I also don't own the song "I Don't Know You Anymore", by Savage Garden. The title comes from the song.
This is a conversation that I really would have loved to have seen take place between Finn and Rachel.
Now, on with the story!
The First to Break
I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
Maybe I shouldn't have called but
Someone had to be the first to break
Finn sat in class, staring at the clock on the wall. Time seemed to have slowed down. It was always hard coming back to school after a holiday break, and this year was no exception. After what seemed like forever, the bell rang in the hallway, signaling the end of class. Finn grabbed his backpack, slinging it over one shoulder as he exited the room.
Nodding to some of the other members of the football team in the hall, Finn made his way toward his locker. As he got closer, he saw the pink square stuck to the outside. He slowed down, looking around him as he approached. Reaching a hand out, he grabbed the Post-It. It was a note.
Please meet me in the choir room.
- Rachel
Finn rolled his eyes. He didn't know if he wanted to talk to her, but then he thought about the smile they shared as they decorated a Christmas tree together with the rest of the Glee Club. He couldn't just ignore her.
"Thank you for coming," Rachel said as soon as she saw Finn in the doorway.
"What's up?" Finn asked, brushing past her and sinking into a chair in the first row.
"I needed to talk to you about something," Rachel began.
"Is this a Glee Club something?" he asked, "Or a you and me something? Because if it's about us, I don't want to hear it."
Rachel stared at him, and he shut his mouth. "It's a you and me something, but you don't have to worry – I'm not going to try and get back together with you. It's just something I need to tell you, and I need you to hear me out. After that, you're free to hang out with your football buddies and cheerleaders and ignore me all you want for the next year and a half. Ok?"
"I'm not gonna ignore –" he began, but Rachel cut him off.
"Please. I need to know if you're going to listen to what I have to say or if I should just save my breath."
Finn looked her in the eye. What he saw there indicated to him that he should listen. "Ok," he said.
"Thank you." Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she opened her eyes, looked at him, and began to speak.
"It's a brand new year, and I know I need to move on, but I also know that I can't move on until I tell you what I need to tell you. I need to tell you why what you did hurt me so much because the fact that you didn't understand made it hurt even more."
Finn immediately wanted to interrupt but decided to hold his tongue and let Rachel continue.
"You had sex with Santana. First of all, she has done whatever she could to make my life hell the whole time we've been in school together. Remember during the whole Britney Spears debacle, Santana said to me that I looked like one of the bait girls on To Catch a Predator? You laughed, and when I said you could have defended me, you said 'Maybe Santana has a point.' Do you know how much that hurt me?"
Finn's eyes went to his hands lying in his lap. Rachel started pacing, gesturing with her hands as she spoke.
"Second, I know we weren't together, but you were the one who broke up with me first, and you had sex with her when you were trying to get back together with me. And to do it because she's hot and she was willing? I had more respect for you before I knew you were the type to sleep with someone for reasons like that. Like I said, if it had been Quinn, I would have understood."
Rachel stopped in front of Finn and looked at him. He could almost feel her eyes burning a hole into the top of his head.
"Third, you lied about doing it with her. If you didn't think, deep down, that there was anything wrong with it, you wouldn't have lied. "
Finn looked up quickly but dropped his eyes again. Rachel went on, still staring at him.
"Fourth, I had to find out about it in front of my friends, which was humiliating enough, but then I had to find out that they already knew. But I guess they're not really my friends, are they? They don't like me, they just tolerate me because of my talent."
Rachel's voice cracked slightly on her last statement. Finn met her eyes again, his jaw dropping open. It looked like she was ready to cry.
"Isn't that what Santana said? That nobody actually likes me?"
Finn wouldn't have known what to say even if Rachel gave him the chance, but she plowed on, wanting to finish what she had to say.
"Last, I know there's no excuse for what I did with Puck, but I just made out with him. I didn't do it with him, and I came clean with you. You would never have told me what you did with Santana if she hadn't told me first, would you?"
Finn just stared at her, not wanting to admit that if he could have kept the truth from her forever, he would have.
Finally, Rachel looked away from him. "That was what I needed to say to you. Like I said, I would never be able to move on without getting that off my chest." She crossed over to the piano and picked up her bag, which was lying on top. She looked back one more time. "I won't bother you again, and you won't need to worry about me talking to you about anything other than official Glee Club business." With that, Rachel left.
Finn sat in the choir room, staring into space, thinking…
We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
I'll be courageous if you can pretend
That you've forgiven me
'Cause I don't know you anymore
I don't recognise this place
The picture frames have changed
And so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
The End
That's it! Reviews are appreciated, including criticism, as long as it's constructive.