Title: I'll try it on my own

Author: Phoebe

Rating: M

Summary: After she turned down Logan's proposal, Rory realizes a few things about her life and the decisions she has made. Trying to make a life for herself, she leave everything and everyone behind.

Background: Post Season 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls

Chapter 1

I'm wiser now
I'm not the foolish girl you used to know

so long ago

It had been 3 days since she'd turned down Logan's proposal and she had been nothing but miserable. Everyone, especially her mother had tried to cheer her up, but she just couldn't bring herself to feel happy or even smile. Deep down she knew, that she had made the wrong decision, but everyone kept insisting that her hesitation meant it wasn't right and that it was for the best that she had turned him down.

She could still see the look on Logan's face when she gave him back the ring and it had broken her heart, but she had been too afraid to take the next step. She never thought that he'd give her an ultimatum and since she was Rory Gilmore she had done what she could do best....she ran and told him no.

So here she was, in her home town Stars Hollow, lying on her childhood bed and crying about the only man she had ever truly loved.

There was a soft knock and when she turned to see who it was, her mother opened the door and let out an audible sight.

"Oh, hun...you have to stop doing this to yourself. I know you loved him, but it seems the two of you just weren't on the same page. You're not ready to get married yet and that's ok. If he can't wait...well, then he doesn't deserve you. I think you made the right decision and that in time you'll be able to move on." Lorelai said as she sat down beside her daughter, stroking her head.

She had tried everything she could think of, to get Rory to forget about Logan, but it only seemed to be getting worse. The last two days Rory had been so upset, that she had thrown up everything she ate and Lorelai just didn't know what else she could do.

"I know mom. Don't worry, I'll be ok. I just have to wallow for bit and then I can move on. It's just been a hard few days." Rory didn't believe a word that came out of her mouth, but she knew that it was what her mother wanted to hear from her.

Suddenly she realized something.

'Oh my god, mom is happy that I turned him down. She never liked him and everything that he stands for. She always hated that he came from money and that he brought me back into the world she took me away from. She always tried to tell me that he wasn't the right one for me. I know I've thought about marrying him and after London I even expected it, so how come I turned him down? Was it because I knew that mom didn't want me to? I don't know what to think any more, I somehow have to figure out what I want.'

All the while her mother had been telling her a story, so when she came back from her thoughts she only heard the last sentence.

"..and then Kirk fell of the tree and broke his arm." Lorelai was so caught up in her story, that she didn't even realize that Rory wasn't listening.

Laughing awkwardly, Rory said "It's always great to hear about Kirk and what trouble he's gotten himself into again. I still don't know how he has survived so many accidents. I mean talk about luck."

"Yeah! So Hun, what do you say we'll go to Luke's and afterwards we can drive to the mall and do some shopping?" with a hopeful look in her eyes, she turned towards her daughter.

"You know what Mum....I think that's a great Idea. Let me just shower and get dressed and then we can hit the road."

With that she got out of bed and went to take her shower. Half a hour later the two of them were on their way to Luke's.

---

As they entered the diner, all eyes were on Rory. No one had seen her since her graduation, but everyone had heard about what happened.

Unsure of what to do Rory quickly sat down and prayed that they would stop staring.

"Alright people, either stop staring or get out of my diner." she was so glad that Luke came to her rescue, if there was one thing she didn't like, it was being the center of attention.

"Thanks Luke!"

"No problem! So how are you?" he asked in a soft tone, which he only reserved for the Gilmore Girls and even then, only for special occasions.

"Been better, but I'll be on my feet in no time" he gave her a look that told her he didn't believe her one bit.

"So what can I get the two of you...well besides coffee that is"

"We've trained him well, daughter of mine. Well I want some pancakes with whipped cream and some blueberry muffins. Hun?" directing her question to Rory who seemed to be lost in her thoughts again. "Rory?"

"Mhm?" startled she looked at her mother and then at Luke. "Oh...I'll just take some pancakes" she wasn't really in the mood for food and since she would probably throw it up again, she might as well just eat something small. She had a slight suspicion as to why she was sick, and today she would find out, if she was right.

Luke went to get them their breakfast and then returned moments later with two cups of coffee. While they were eating the two of them talked about random things, like what was going on around Stars Hollow and what the next festival would bring. After their breakfast they got into the Jeep and made their way to the mall in Hartford.

---

They had been shopping for nearly 2 hours now and both of them had acquired quite a lot of things. There was only one thing missing from Rory's list, but for that she had to get rid of her mother. When she saw a Café she got an idea.

"Hey mum, what do you say we take a break and get some coffee over there?"

"Well, how could I refuse coffee. My feet are starting to hurt anyway." they were making their way over to the Café, when Rory announced that she had to go to the toilet and would meet her mother there in a second.

Lorelai agreed and went to find them a table.

---

After her mother's departure, Rory made her way into a drugstore a few stores down. Walking through the aisles, she quickly found what she was looking for.

'Wow...there is clearly a lot of them. Which one should I take? God...I can't believe I'm standing here looking at pregnancy tests and on top of everything ... all on my own.'

With that, the well known tears returned. Taking a deep breath to get her emotions in check, she managed to push them back. Taking 3 different Test she went to the register to pay and then joined her mother.

They spent another hour just looking around and then made their way back to Stars Hollow.