AN: I don't own any HP characters, only borrowing them.
Seeking A Dependable Wife
Intellectual British wizard seeks A Dependable Wife for proper marriage.
Must be compelled by sensible reasoning, not romantic.
Only witches aged between 30 and 50 with no children will be accepted.
Please include school transcripts, unglamoured photo,
and statement of reason for your interest.
Reply to solicitor's office by letter only. Suitable candidates may
be asked to provide additional information.
William C. Barker, Solicitor.
248B Diagon Alley, London
Severus Snape sat in his solicitor's office reviewing the parchment in front of him. Mr. Barker was the best solicitor galleons could buy in Wizarding Britain, as his expensively furnished office attested to. And for a hefty sum of gold he was willing to sort through all the replies that would be received, and forward only the appropriate one. This would save Severus from having to deal with the dunderheaded daydreamers that would no doubt be the majority of his replies. As they had previously discussed the ad was to be placed in several major newspapers in the States, due to his continued notoriety in Europe.
"Professor Snape, are you sure this is the way you want to go about doing this? You could still try a matchmaking service here or maybe just continue looking for the right witch. The wealth you've acquired from the potion patents, and your fame would go quite far in attracting witches."
"Barker, I am tired of twits and gold diggers. I don't wish to date. I want to be done with the process and settled into a comfortable marriage. I wouldn't waste one Knut on the results provided by a matchmaking service. Their process is little better than those that practice the so called art of divination. Now make sure the ad runs as we have discussed and refrain from giving me personal advice, it is not what I pay you for."
"As you wish, Professor. If everything is satisfactory the ad will begin its 7 day run on Sunday in the Los Angeles, Houston, Chicago, Atlanta, and New York editions of the Wizarding Chronicle. The ad has been charmed so that only those with the minimum qualifications will be sent to me, and I will review them for quality and forward them on."
With that Severus nodded, rose from the chair and swept out the room his black robes billowing behind him. Barker was used to his client's abrupt leaving and watched him leave. Once he heard his assistant, Crystal, bid the professor good day and the door to the outer office close, he leaned back in his chair and sighed. He didn't like the course of action that Snape was pursuing, why did he have to seek out an American witch when there were plenty of perfectly serviceable ones in Britain. Americans were so uncouth, even French or Italian would be better. If all Snape was seeking was a comfortable marriage then what difference did the witch's motivations matter?
However, it was true that his notoriety hadn't really carried over much into the American media. During the time of the final battle and the aftermath, the Americans didn't really pay much attention to what occurred in wizarding Britain. The magical culture wasn't as isolated in America as it was in Britain. The American Bureau of Magic was another agency within the large amorphous American government, and did a good job of keeping the magical society blended with mainstream culture. Wizarding children received their primary education with muggle children. At the age of 11 when they were ready to attend junior high they were either sent to private schools, if their parents could afford it, or public "magnet schools." The same practice was used for high school, and the Muggle public was told the specialized magnet schools were for children who had displayed special aptitudes for a certain subject. Universities were blended together, with the magical part being an institute or school within the university. The education of the young witches and wizards contained all the normal subjects, but they were also taught normal muggle subjects as well. So a young witch or wizard would be able to live and react normally within muggle society. This was deemed necessary due to the non-centralized magical population within the States. This philosophy went a long way in dispelling the pureblood prejudice that seemed inherent in the European culture; however there was still some of the sentiment left within the American south where there were a few pockets of centralized "purebloods" left. As if they were truly any "purebloods" left within the American melting pot, most had one or two muggle relatives within their family trees despite their denials.
Barker made a mental rundown of what he needed to do. He had already made initial contact with the person in charge of the classifieds at the Chronicle, the ad needed to get to him by 5pm eastern standard or by 11 tonight. He'd have Crystal send it in a cross continental owl post by the end of the day. He wanted to review the charms on it to ensure that none of the unacceptable witches sent in a reply, and he wanted to double check his wards to make sure that none of them dropped by rather than reply via post. His job was going to be hard enough without unannounced drop ins. Snape had only wanted witches with the highest grades and the most well written coherent arguments. Crystal could take care of checking the transcripts and reviewing the arguments, this should serve to weed out about 90% of the candidates. He could further review the rest and would only send Snape the top 5% or so. Luckily Snape didn't really care about the appearance of the witch or else it would make his job much harder. Well Snape was certainly no looker himself, Barker thought to himself.
"Crystal, get in here," Barker bellowed.
His curvy redhead assistant ambled in with a notepad and a dictation quill. "Yes, Mr. Barker. What do you need?"
Barker folded the ad into an envelope and sealed it. "Address this to Mr. Simmons at the Wizarding Chronicle in New York; send it out via the Cross continental this afternoon. Clear our schedule for next week and review my notes on Mr. Snape's requirements. You will be responsible for weeding out the majority of the responses as well as playing gatekeeper to the drop in visitors. Be discreet when you drop it in the post we are under the normal privacy oaths, and I could lose a lot of galleons if this gets out."
Crystal stopped the dictation quill, and looked over the notes. She was aware of the situation and already made copies of Barker's notes and fixed the schedule. "Will do, sir. I'll drop it off to post when we're done here, and I've already installed an appointment only charm on the door. No one will be dropping in next week. I'll also be sure to cast a disillusionment charm on myself just to be sure no one is watching. Was there anything else sir?"
"Yes, pick me up a bottle of elf made wine and make reservations for me and the wife at Aldono's for tonight. We'll close up early for the day."
Crystal left his office and to drop off the owl post, casting her disillusionment as she left the building. She thought about how lonely poor Professor Snape must be to go to such extremes to find a wife. He was a hero and yet according to the tabloids he had been so unlucky in the love department. It was so romantic that he had loved Lily Evans for all those years, and so sad that he had never found anyone since. He must be horrified that everyone knew about his heartache, from what she had seen he was a very private man. He wasn't a very friendly man but he had never been rude to her, even though she was an assistant. She was always sure to treat him with respect and he seemed to return it in kind, unlike some of the clients she dealt with who treated her like a glorified waitress. She made up her mind then and there that she was going to do her best to help him find someone that would make his life a little less lonely.
AN: I am in need of a beta, if anyone is interested please let me know.