A/N. Okay, this isn't the happiest of my stories, but Season 5 (and 4) has had me in a grumpy mood and I had to work my way out of it. In this story Rumple is a lot more forgiving (it is Belle he's forgiving, so I figure that much would be in character) than he is in canon. And you're not going to like the news that Belle springs on Rumple—you probably won't like the revelation Rumple has for her. But I got to wondering what loophole might save Baby Gold from Hades, so here goes.
"Really, Rumplestiltskin, I'm disappointed in you." Hades was speaking even as he appeared behind the cluster of heroes, ex-villains and one current villain, standing in the Underworld cemetery. He clicked his tongue as he sauntered around them to show him his faked frown. "Up there you're so cruelly clever, so impishly imaginative, a chess master of magic. But here—well, perhaps you have too much competition in—what do your friends call it? 'Underbrooke'? And that makes you nervous. Or perhaps it's a case of sympathy hormones flooding your bloodstream and blocking your brain. Whatever the cause, we'll have plenty of time to ponder it, because," he spread his arms widely, "obviously, your little plan to free your friends has failed." He circled the Storybooke Ten once again, a move that Rumple had used himself many a time: standing behind an opponent, where he/she couldn't see what you were up to, made him/her nervous. It also gave you a 360 view to size up the opponent's vulnerabilities.
Rumple watched Hades warily from the corner of his eye, refusing to be intimated. Rumple also remained silent—another intimidation tactic he'd found effective.
"Heal her," a female voice demanded. Snow and Charming were kneeling at the side of their daughter, from whose side blood flowed. Emma's face was as battered as Hook's had been when they'd first found him in Underbrooke: she'd received the same torture from Hades for her magically draining, though successful, attempt to erase Snow's, Regina's and her own names from the tombstones that would have trapped them permanently in Underbrooke. Pointless it had been, however; if anyone had asked, Rumple would have advised them so. Any expenditure of magic in the Underworld, and especially when the magic was light, set off all sorts of alarms and brought Hades running. Rumple shook his head slightly and would have muttered to himself if not for Hades' incredible sense of hearing. When Emma's special abilities were first discovered, he should have stepped in himself to train her, instead of leaving it to Regina; the ex-Evil Queen was a sledgehammer sorceress and Emma was teetering in that same direction. If they ever got out of this place, for Henry's sake, Rumple would have to provide the Savior with some lessons in finesse.
Hades made a point of stepping over the Savior's unconscious form. The action spoke louder than any words he might have spoken: Snow may have been a queen in another world, but here she was powerless. She, her husband, Hook, Belle and Robin held no interest for Hades, other than their familial connections to the people he did seek to own: Emma, Regina, Rumplestiltskin and Henry, each of whom possessed their own special skill set—as well as some very tasty souls. Zelena stood apart from everyone else, her arms wrapped around her baby: she hadn't said as much yet, but it was pretty clear which side she favored. It would be so convenient to have Robin out of the way.
Standing behind Hook, Hades paused and held up a hand in a stop gesture. "Oh, I'm sure it wasn't your idea originally, dearie, but the blame is yours for allowing these fools to attempt it. They're merely ignorant; you know better." He shrugged. "Well, que sera, sera." He snapped his fingers and a trio of lightning bolts re-etched the names Snow White, Regina Mills and Emma Swan into the tombstones. "There must be a penalty, of course." He tapped his chin in a mockery of the Imp's stagey gestures. "Let's see, how does that saying go? 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for a'—etcetera." He snapped his fingers again and a fourth tombstone appeared, a smaller, whiter one than the women's: and on its face was etched "Henry Swan Mills."
"You bastard!" Hook growled at the same time that David rose to his feet, reaching to his hip for the sword or gun that wasn't there and would've been useless if it had been. Somehow the heroes just couldn't grasp the physics of this place: the King of Death could not be killed—or die in any other manner. That, the gods had established immediately after the creation of life: for life to exist, so must death.
Hades resumed his march around the circle of heroes. Their reaction, predictable as it was, bored him; not even Regina at her best could so much as stir a hair on Hades' fire-coiffed head. The King of Death's stare was fixed on Rumple's face, and he grinned broadly when he caught a muscle twitch under the Imp's left eye. "There," he sighed in satisfaction. "That's what I was looking for. A little remorse. Because I now own both the Savior and the Truest Believer—oh, and your only existing blood relative. For the moment, anyway. Which reminds me." Conveniently, Hades was now positioned behind Belle; he set his hands on her shoulders in a faux friendly gesture, then as Rumple's eyes narrowed, Hades smiled smoothly and slid one hand from her shoulder down her arm, seductively, then across her waist. As she gasped, he gave her belly an affectionate pat.
She wrenched away from him, turned to glare, but Hades had already gotten what he wanted: Rumple's lips had parted in an imminent protest. Rumple's voice was so low as to be barely audible. "Get your filthy hands off my wife, you son of a bitch."
Hades feigned shock. "What is with you people and your insults to a man's mother?"
"What are you doing?" David tried to draw Hades' attention away from Rumple, in the hopes of avoiding a magic fight. He failed; the chess board had been set for this fight a long time ago. "What do you want from us?"
Suddenly the smugness left Hades' expression and a cold anger slammed down. "I'm getting bored with you people. We had a nice, quiet little place here, full of obedient, hopeless souls, before you came and started yanking people out." Incredulity filled his voice. "Promising them Heaven?! You people could give Napoleon a run for his money in the arrogance game. It's getting annoying. You've made a mess of the place and lost me some of my favorite playthings. There must be a penalty." Before any of them could blink, he'd grabbed Belle again, spinning her about so she faced Rumple once more, then pulling her against his chest. "You're too much of a loose cannon here, Dark One. Time to send you back home. And just so you're not tempted to return, I'm going to do you a favor and send your missus home with you." Rumple's eyes widened for a moment, and Hades chuckled. "I thought you'd like that. See, I know you don't give two figs about any of these others, with the exception of your grandson, and I think you'll be content to trade him for that ticket home. And your so-called friends never really were your friends, anyway, were they? Nuisances, most of them. And as for Hook, you couldn't ask for a more satisfying revenge than to leave him to me. So I know you won't put up a fuss as long as I allow Belle to step onto that boat with you. Will you, dearie?"
Rumple's mouth tightened. "I know better than to believe any promises from you, dearie."
"But you will, because I'm going to take a little collateral. A hostage. You attempt to return to free Henry, and that hostage dies. What a shame that would be: dead before he even had a chance to breathe the sweet air of life."
Even Regina gasped as the heroes now grasped Hades' meaning.
"You'd better not be making the threat you seem to be making," Rumple snarled.
"No, you'd better not be making threats, when there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me from collecting on your debt." Hades snapped his fingers and a scroll appeared in mid-air. For the first time, he glanced at the heroes. "For those of you in the cheap seats, that's a contract your fearful leader signed a couple of centuries ago. It grants ownership of his second born—namely, Junior here," he slid his hand sensually down Belle's stomach, compelling Rumple to take a step forward, "to me."
Regina swung on her former teacher. "You sold your son? What did you crave so bad that you sold your flesh and blood?"
"Never you mind, little queen," Hades flipped the words at her. "That information is provided only on a need-to-know basis."
"There has to be a loophole in it," Hook pondered, creeping forward to examine the floating contract. "The Crocodile never signs a contract unless it's full of holes for him and air-tight for the other—" A flick of Hades' wrist and the contract vanished. "Party," Hook finished.
"Oh, this was something he signed before he became the dealmaker you see standing before you," Hades said smoothly. "A desperate soul, he was, then, and as we all well know, a desperate soul will pay any price for a little magic. So." Hades yanked Belle tight against his chest. "I'm calling in my marker now as a 'just in case,' after which, I'll send you and Wifey home."
"You're going to kill—" Belle struggled against him. From his position opposite Hades, Rumple's hands glowed with gold magic.
"No, sweetheart, I'm not going to kill Junior. That would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?" He clicked his tongue. "And I thought you were supposed to be as smart as Hubby. No, I'm not going to kill him, just extract him. You've seen this trick before, remember?" He winked at Zelena. "A little magic can speed up the pregnancy." He conjured a chair and pushed Belle into it. "Now, let's see, I'm a bit rusty. . . .How does that spell go again?"
All he had was the element of surprise—and really, not even that—but Rumple transported Belle out of Hades' arms and behind his own slight form. He reached one hand behind him to touch her, to reassure himself. "Are you all right, Belle?"
"I will be," she gasped for air, then she groaned and doubled over as a blast of magic from Hades flowed over her shielding husband and consumed her. With an incoherent shout, Rumple threw magic back: simultaneous fireballs and bolts of ice and miniature whirlwinds. He shook his head to clear it, fully aware of the sloppiness and predictability of his work, but he was too upset to plan an attack. He cast a hasty glance at Regina, who took the hint and joined her magic to his; as their powers wove together, they formed a magical iron maiden around Hades and painstakingly started to close it. But it was too little, too late, for Belle dropped to her knees, clutching her rapidly expanding belly and moaning.
Zelena stepped behind Rumple to crouch over Belle. "Don't worry, darling. It only hurts for a little while. I speak from experience." She glared at the inert form of the Savior before returning her attention to Belle and licking her lips in delight.
Rumple couldn't stop himself: he abandoned the attack on Hades and spun around, concentrating his efforts on attempting to shred Hades' spell. It was a highly complex, multi-layered spell; of course it had to be, for the King of Death to manipulate the forces of Life. He closed his eyes, forcing Belle's cries from his hearing, and forced himself to concentrate on one thread at a time, while behind him, he could hear Regina cursing as her magic sputtered. "Somebody wake Emma up! I need her," the queen panted.
One thread, then two, snapped, but there were hundreds and Belle was writhing in pain as her belly ballooned, at a rate far faster than her body could tolerate. Zelena giggled and leaned in a little closer to watch Belle shake. "Feels like an earthquake going on in your belly, doesn't it? Oooh, just wait til we get to the good part: labor without the benefits of drugs. If you beg me nicely, I m—" The Wicked Witch gasped and stepped backward, while simultaneously Hades shouted, "What the hell?"
Rumple suddenly found there were no more magic threads to unravel. He glanced over his shoulder: Hades stood with his feet planted apart in battle stance and his hands thrown up, poised to send power, but the power wasn't coming.
"What's going on?" Snow puzzled, as Henry looked to Rumple. "Grandpa?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "I. . . ."
"True Love's magic?" David guessed.
Both Regina and Rumple ceased their magic attack, but kept their hands poised in case another assault should come.
"Look!" Henry shouted, pointing to the space above the tombstone bearing his name. Everyone spun to look, though the four mages kept a wary eye on each other. The contract had reappeared and the writing upon it was glowing red. Slipping a protective arm around the boy's shoulders, David leaned forward to read the archaic print. "In payment for which, the undersigned, Rumplestiltskin the Spinner, agrees to relinquish all claims of custody to his second-born child. Said child upon conception becomes the sole property of Fendrake, to dispose of as he sees fit, without interference from the child's biological parents or their agents—"
"A lot of legal mumbo jumbo follows," Hades explained, "but look at the final paragraph. That's where Fendrake traded his rights to the kid to me. Now, must I remind you good citizens, this is not only a legal contract that you heroes are morally bound to honor; it's also a magical one, and therefore falls under the laws of magic. So." He raised his voice to a shout and pointed his glowing finger at Regina, then Rumple. "Whichever one or ones of you are interfering with the enforcement of this contract, cease and desist immediately or be subject to the penalty extracted by magic itself!"
"Sorry to disappoint you yet again, dearie." Rumple shrugged, as did Regina. He knelt to gather Belle into his arms and send healing magic through her system.
"Look," Belle gasped, rubbing her shrinking belly. "The pain is gone. Whoever is doing this, I have no idea, but thank you."
"No one could," Regina mused. "The laws of magic would have prohibited us from interfering in Hades taking his property."
Henry reread the contract aloud, mulling it over.
"'His second-born child,'" Belle echoed. "'His second-born'. . . .Ohhh, Rumple, I'm sorry. . . ."
"What?" Rumple brushed her sweat-matted hair back from her face. "Sorry for what, sweetheart?" But understanding lit his eyes, followed by anger.
"'His,'" Snow murmured, and all heads turned toward Rumple, then Belle, who had covered her face with her hands.
"Belle, are you saying. . . ." Rumple choked on the remainder of his question.
Belle's shoulders were shaking. She managed to get out, "I was. . . with Will just before you came back from New York."
Rumple stood painfully, his ankle wobbling dangerously under him. One hand still on her shoulder, he stared down at the top of her head. "Belle." The entire crowd could hear his heart breaking in that one word.
Her voice fell to a whisper only he could hear, just before she surrendered to sobs. "Forgive me, Rumple. Please."
The expressions on his face flashed through the gamut of emotions as his hand fell away from her shoulder. He started to step back and turn away, then he twisted back around and sank to his knees again, sliding his arm around her. "You. . . you had the right. We weren't together then."
"No," she moaned.
"You thought our marriage was over. As far as you knew, the curse on the town line meant I could never come back to Storybrooke. You had the right to start over. You. . . deserved happiness." His voice cracked as it trailed off into doubt.
"No. We were True Love. I promised you forever."
"I wasn't the man you thought you'd married."
"No one ever is," Belle argued. "That's what marriage is about: learning and accepting."
"I do forgive you," he assured her. "But I'll need some time. It hurts like hell."
"I understand," she agreed.
"Belle, you have to tell me: do you want him or me?"
"Isn't this lovely?" Zelena crooned. "Wumple's wittle heart is bweaking."
"And I've been cheated," Hades transported himself to Zelena's side, where they both stared down at the crying couple. "Though, it seems, I'm not the only one. The Dark One's been cuckholded. A thought that'll help me recover from my disappointment." He flicked his wrist and the contract flew into his hands so he could tear it up.
"I don't love him," she answered lowly.
"What are you going to do, darling?" Zelena stroked Rumple's hair in mock sympathy. "Shall I hold your coat while you kill her?"
"Perhaps I'll stick around a moment or two to see that happen," Hades conjured a mimosa for himself, then one for Zelena.
Rumple ignored them and tightened his arms around the woman he still considered to be his wife—though he wasn't sure if he was still her husband. "Belle, do you want to be with me? Dark magic and all?" He whispered in her ear, "I want to be chosen too, but you have to understand, I can't be Prince Charming for you."
"I'm afraid. What the darkness makes you do. . . ." She stroked her belly. "The baby."
"I'm not the best example for a child," he agreed. "But believe me, I learned from Bae, I need to be better. I can't lose another child."
"Are you saying you want to be—"
"Yeah. I want to parent this child, even if it has to be in a joint custody arrangement." He glanced ruefully at the baby in Zelena's arms, then at Henry. "It won't be the first one in Storybrooke."
"Even if the baby isn't yours?"
"By heart, if not by law, I am now and forever yours and the baby's, if you'll allow it." He rocked back on his heels, giving her space to breathe. "Take your time to decide, Belle. We'll talk about this later."
"Rumple, can you really love a child that isn't yours?"
"There's something you need to know." He leaned back in again to whisper in her ear, "Bae was born thirteen months after I went to war. But he was mine, Belle, and I was his, and I would have done anything, almost anything, to make him safe and happy."
She threw her arms around him then.
"This is getting sickening," Zelena made a rude noise with the straw in her drink. She laid a hand on Hades' arm. "Let's go somewhere more fun, like a gladiator fight."
"I wouldn't believe him, if I were you, sister," Hades advised Belle. "You can see how he distorts promises."
Rumple stood, folding his arms. "I never break a contract, dearie. You just didn't read it closely. That's your fault, not mine. But since you're eager to get me out of your hair anyway, I'm going to offer an alteration to the offer you made me. Let me and my companions—everyone here who wants to go—go home. Safely, without interference of any kind, ever. Let us leave right now. And in return, I promise you three replacements for every soul that's leaving with me—a replacement that you'll find tantalizing. Far more exciting than any of these." He waved his hand dismissively at the heroes and winced when he got to Hook. "You will leave us be, us and our kin, by blood or marriage, to live out our natural lives—or in my case, my unnatural life. When those of us who are mortal die, we will pass through here just as anyone else does, and you will not interfere as we resolve our final issues and move on."
"Three souls for one. Tell me about these replacements." Hades' anger was losing ground to temptation.
"Awesome souls, as my grandson would say," Rumple tossed a smile in Henry's direction. "Many of them ancient, battered, rotted through and through with darkness, corrupted by their own greed, jealousy, rage, depravity. . . and powerful. Powers you've watched and admired from afar."
However much the King of Death would have liked to batter Rumplestiltskin around, the description made his mouth water. "Go on."
"I offer to you the souls of every Dark One who's ever lived, excepting myself, Emma and—" he stumbled over the last name, "Hook."
A deep breath escaped Hades. "Every Dark—that's thirty-four souls. Thirty-four of the vilest souls to ever throw a fireball. So much more entertaining that these lunkheads."
"Indeed."
But Hades' eyebrows drew down. "How?"
"They're all in here." Rumple tapped his chest. "Except for numbers thirty-six and thirty-seven. And One through Thirty-Four can be yours, for the low low price of a boat to Storybrooke."
"I thought I smelled Nimue's magic in your whirlwinds."
"Nimue, Athelard, Berengar, Ancelmus, for a start. Funneled into me by Excaliber. All yours for a boat."
Hades narrowed his eyes. "Prove it."
Rumple drew from his jacket the reforged Dark Dagger. Zelena and Regina started shivering—Rumple understood why. Power radiated from the dagger until he clasped his hand tightly around the blade and demanded that it be quiet.
"Yeah, I can smell them. Karolus, Clarenbald, Zoso. . . .What a hell of a dinner party that would be, eh?" Hades grinned. "You're going to give me your dagger, then?"
"Not exactly. But I will deliver the souls of Dark Ones One through Thirty-Four right here and now, just as soon as—" Rumple snapped his fingers and produced a contract. "As soon as you sign."
"They are immortal. They'll never move on," Hades speculated. "The party can last forever."
Rumple held the contract out. Hades snatched it up, pored over it from head to footnote, then summoned Charon in his boat. With a second burst of magic, he produced a quill and signed on the dotted line.
Rumple rolled the contract up and slid it into his jacket, then brought out the dagger again. One glowing hand on the blade and one on the hilt, he summoned the magic of all thirty-seven of his predecessors and successors. Focusing it into a narrow laser of light, he set the dagger on fire, his hands burning too.
"Rumple," Belle fretted, but she didn't intervene.
Sweat broke out on his brow and his arms shook, but he kept on concentrating and burning. Regina came closer, her eyes bright with admiration. "All that power," she sighed.
Suddenly there was a loud snap and the fire died out. Rumple dropped his hands and let the two broken pieces of the dagger fall to the dirt. A voice called out from behind him, "Rumplestiltskin! Why do you summon us?" A lovely young gold-skinned woman in a hood appeared in a red cloud of magic, and all around her puffs of magic announced the arrivals of other Dark Ones.
Rumple lowered his head in a bow. "Nimue."
The first Dark One glided in her robes across the dead grass until she stood beside Dark One Number Thirty-Five. She ran her hand seductively up his Armani sleeve as she purred, "Shall we have some fun together, dearie?"
"Your party awaits, Mistress Nimue." Rumple drew her attention to Hades. "May I introduce your host, Hades, Ruler of the Underworld and King of Death."
Hades bowed and kissed her palm. "At your service, my Dark Lady."
"I don't believe we've met."
"We would've had no cause, your kind being immortal. But I've admired you for eons and your work in the world above has kept me entertained." He linked her arm through his own as Zelena glared, watching them walk away. "I can't wait to hear about your adventures."
"And I can't wait to hear of your admiration for me," Nimue teased.
"Come, I have dinner waiting in my private chambers, and an entire symphony orchestra to set the ambiance." In a blink they had vanished.
Zelena shifted the baby to Robin's arms. "Here. Six months with you up there, six months with me down here. I'll come for her in December. Deal?"
"Deal!" Robin exclaimed.
She motioned to the other Dark Ones. "Come on. We've got a private party to disrupt."
"We'd better beat it before he finds a loophole and comes back for us," David suggested. He knelt and gave Emma's shoulder a shake. "Emma! Wake up, Emma. We've got to go." He and Hook half-carried a groggy Savior to the boat, with Snow and Henry, Robin, Regina and the baby following.
Rumple held out his hand to Belle. "I want you to live in the pink house so the baby can have a room of his own. Dove will find an unoccupied house for me. We'll call Doc as soon as we get back."
"Prenatal care is so much better in our world than in Misthaven," she replied. "And Archie? I'd like for us to start seeing him for marriage counseling."
"I'm agreeable to that. I want to save this marriage, Belle. If you do."
"I'm sorry I went back on my word. I'm sorry I gave up on us."
"I'm sorry for all the secrets and lies."
She allowed him to lift her into the boat. "Despite our human failings, I've always loved you."
"Let's go home, Belle."