Author's note: This was a response to "jealousy isn't cute on you" sentence starter for CLeon.

"For the last time, Leon, I'm not your lawyer, you should stop calling me when you're thrown in jail," Hunnigan said as she waited for him to collect his things so that they could exit the jailhouse.

"I'm sure your cat will forgive you for leaving him alone for twenty minutes despite it being a Friday night," Leon remarked a little more venomously than he'd intended to. Hunnigan stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him and he sighed, meaning to apologize but she spoke before he had a chance.

"You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me," Hunnigan said before crossing the parking lot with long agitated strides.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..!" he called out after her, but she was already gone, driving away and leaving him to find his own way home.

"Ah, shit," Leon exhaled and stuck his hands into his pockets, beginning the long walk home. His drunken state was wearing off and he was slipping from impervious to becoming painfully aware of how much his knuckles hurt. They rarely showed that side of this situation in movies. The lack of the massive punch-sound effect in real life was also disappointing.

When Leon finally got home, he was surprised to see that Claire was not already packing his things into suitcases, or frantically throwing everything out into the yard and pouring gasoline on it. Instead, she sat on the couch in the living room and when she saw him, she turned the TV off and slowly crossed her arms over her abdomen while narrowing her eyes at him. It was a feminine but an oddly threatening gesture.

"You'll be glad to know that Neil decided not to press charges," Claire told him.
"Well, remind me to send him a thank you-card," Leon said, spread his hands to the sides a little and took a series of tiny "I'm not worthy"-bows before going to the kitchen to grab a beer.

"Stop it, Leon, this is serious!" Claire said, got up and followed him. She grabbed the beer from his hand while he was in the middle of taking a sip. Some of it spilled onto his chin and dripped to the floor as the contents of the bottle foamed over as she yanked the bottle suddenly, but she didn't care.

"What the hell?" Leon frowned as Claire tossed the bottle into the sink and leaned in closer to him, her finger pointing into his chest.

"Do you even understand what the hell you did?" she snapped at him.
"Yes, and that dipshit had it coming!"

"Why? What did he do? Did he remark on my tits or ass? Make lewd comment about what he'd like to do to me? What?" she demanded.
"Well, yes, to all of it, basically!"

"Well, welcome to my world, I hear shit like that every day, it's called being a woman. But I don't go apeshit and beat up every idiot who makes remarks like that."
"I bet you'd want to though."

"Yes, but that isn't the point!" Claire yelled in exasperation and shoved at him, turning to face away with her hands on her hips, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Then tell me what is the point," Leon said, rubbing his palm over the spot on his chest where she'd poked him.

"The point is that I don't need nor do I want you to turn up and pretend to be some white knight who rescues me from the lewd remarks someone makes, I don't want that! If I need to, I can stand up for myself, and most of the time, I'd rather just ignore them," she scoffed.

"Or, maybe you don't mind the comments since they came from him."
"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm just saying that it's usually called sexual harassment only when the guy making the remarks is unattractive, but bring out a douchebag in a chinstrap and suddenly it's called flirting," Leon said, his tone of voice the typical tone you'd hear from a child making the common "nya-nya"-taunt. Claire blinked slowly, her mouth slightly open as she tried to comprehend that Leon out of all people was behaving the way he was right now.

"Jealousy isn't cute on you."
"Good, because I'm not trying to be cute!"

"Seriously, do you hear yourself… like… right now… when you're talking… do you hear the words coming out of your mouth, do you understand how ridiculous you sound?" Claire asked, speaking intentionally slowly as if indeed talking to a child.

"Mock all you want, but you know I'm right."
"I am not getting into this argument with you," Claire sighed in exasperation.

"There is no argument because I'm right!"

"Sure. Fine. Whatever. Go take a shower and try to sleep it off. On the couch," Claire said in an icy tone over her shoulder as she left the kitchen and headed upstairs, slamming the bedroom door shut behind her so hard the glasses in the kitchen cupboard clinked.

Leon grabbed another beer now that Claire wasn't there to throw it out, and then proceeded to the living room, slumping onto the couch. Why should he be the one sleeping on the couch, it was his house too, damn it.

Yeah, but then again, I'm the jerk who beat up Claire's boss… but for a good reason… even if she denies it…

He wasn't sure what part of him thought this could possibly be a good idea, but he was already doing before even realizing; he dialed Hunnigan's number. He had a question he wanted her to answer.

"Oh, my God, what!" she yelled at him as she accepted the video call.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be. For various reasons."

"Your towels are so fluffy! Why can't I get mine— oh, sorry, who you talkin' to?" a woman wearing nothing but a towel and a green necklace inquired as she walked across the frame, Leon getting a decent view of her figure but not her face before Hunnigan turned the phone so that he could see nothing but the ceiling.

"The reason I had to run out in the middle of dinner," Hunnigan responded.

"Tell him he's a dick," the other female voice said.
"You're a dick," Hunnigan dutifully relayed the message.

"That was actually all I needed to hear because the reason I called was to ask you if I'm a dick," Leon said.
"I'm amazed you thought there would be any other answer to that question. Good night," Hunnigan retorted and ended the call.

"Well, whaddaya know, she did have a date," he chuckled at the dial tone.

"Aw, fuck," he then sighed and leaned back on the couch. He finished his beer in a few long gulps before heading into the bathroom to take that shower Claire had told him to take. Instead of feeling relaxed as the hot water washed away his mood, he was fuming.

I am not sleeping on the couch.

Once done drying off, he went upstairs and slowly pushed the bedroom door open. He waited for a moment for his eyes to adjust to the deep blue darkness in the room and was half expecting to find Claire sitting on the bed with a shotgun aimed at him. Instead, she lay down, the covers pulled to her shoulder, hugging his pillow to her chest. Once upon a time she'd told him she'd begun to playfully refer to the pillow as Scott since she had a habit of cuddling it while he was away because it smelled of him.

You are so adorable it makes my chest ache, he thought, a small rueful smile on his lips. He got into bed and lay on his side, resting his weight on his forearm as he leaned a little closer to her.

"Claire… can I have my pillow back, please?" he whispered.
"You're not even supposed to be here," she humphed and pulled as far from him as she possibly could without falling off the bed.

"Look, I'm sorry. I overreacted, and you're right, you don't need me to rescue you, I know that… but at the same time, there's a part of me that thinks… that you're my girl and that I should beat the living shit out of anyone who disrespects you. I know it's not as charming in real life as it is in movies, but…"

"Oh, so you were just defending my honor. Well, that makes it all better."
"I'm not saying it does, I'm just saying that's what happened. Hearing him talk that way about you made me go a little a crazy."

"What did he even say?" Claire then asked, finally turning to face Leon and he cleared his throat awkwardly.
"I'm not sure I feel comfortable repeating that."

"In other words he didn't say anything that bad, you just blew it out of proportion," Claire said, quirking an eyebrow and Leon inhaled and exhaled deeply.
"He was staring at your ass and said 'Damn, I'd like to cut that cake'."

"That's it?" Claire scoffed and Leon shrugged one shoulder. Hell, she'd heard worse in third grade.

"You are such a… I don't even know what you are," she shook her head and smacked him with the pillow.
"I know, I know… I'm sorry. I really am," he said sincerely and put the pillow aside as she settled to lay on her back and sighed deeply as if trying to decide what to do with him.

"You're a good man, Leon, but sometimes you do the dumbest things for the stupidest little reasons. I really need you to work on that or I don't see how we're ever gonna make this work," she muttered.
"I understand, and I promise to work on it."

"…all right," Claire said quietly, a hint of disbelief in her voice, clearly she wasn't going to believe it until she'd see it. Leon felt a bit hurt by the obvious mistrust, but at the same time he took it as an incentive to prove to her that he could and would do it.

"All right," he said as well and finally lay down as well. They remained silent in the dim room for a long while and Leon was sure Claire had already fallen asleep when she finally reached over and put her arm over his midsection, pushing herself tightly against him. He raised his arm a little and put it around her shoulders, pulling her closer in the sweetheart's cradle and pressed a long soft kiss onto her forehead before resting his cheek against the top of her head. He closed his eyes and exhaled happily when he felt her breath on the side of his neck.

"Hey, Claire?"
"Yes, Leon?"

"Hunnigan's girlfriend called me a dick."
"Oh, poor you. Do you need me to defend your honor by kicking her ass?"

"No, but am I dick?"
"Yeah, but you're my dick."

"…I can live with that."