**A/N: To all of you who have been reading my Harry Potter story "Experiments Between Friends", it will be updated eventually. A chapter is currently in the works. I don't know why I'm writing something for the middle, but Sue Heck just interests me and there is a stunning lack of M-rated fanfiction about her. This story takes place in the current season with the past few episodes (as of April 2014). Thanks! **

As Oprah continued on the television, Frankie Heck couldn't believe what she had just heard. It couldn't be - did Dr. Berman really just say that moms should give their daughters vibrators!?

I mean, sure, Frankie had spent her share of unromantic teenage nights being thrust into, searching for that mystical 'orgasm' she had heard about before finally realizing she could get one on her own - but this was her daughter, this was Sue; this was totally different.

There was a difference between being given the key to (she shuddered to say it) masturbation and discovering it by yourself, wasn't there? Sue would be more fulfilled if she found out on her own, right? The natural way?

But this wasn't Frankie, this was Sue. This was the Sue who went to the bra department every month to make sure she was wearing the right size (she had grown up there, but still). This was the Sue Heck who simply couldn't believe that babies were made the way they are when Frankie had told her in fifth grade - "it fits...in there?" she'd said. This was the Sue Heck who ran half-naked into Frankie's bedroom because she was petrified by the first, brown curly hair to grace her pre-teen mound.

This was a different situation entirely, because Frankie doubted whether Sue would ever discover anything remotely sexual on her own.

Wait a minute now; who says she even needs to know? She's not doing anything down there yet, is she?

Come on, Frankie. She's a 17-year old girl. Even if she has no idea what it is, her body wants sexual gratification.

Frankie's seen the way she looks at Darrin - and he no doubt knows how good it might feel to be inside her. It's only a matter of time before they start having sex. And you can bet Sue would never complain when she didn't climax. Even if he asked her whether she came or not, Sue probably wouldn't know an orgasm if it hit her head on.

Even if she knew she didn't have one or of she mentioned it to him, it would only serve to make him feel bad - because Frankie knew that teenage boys were about as good with a clitoris as they were with cleaning up a room. She remembers all too well that frustrated night in high school when her then-boyfriend Steve tried this 'awesome' oral technique he'd learned for forty minutes of nothing special (that was the labia, she wanted to tell him; aim higher) before coming up and declaring that "your pussy must be broken, Frankie. That worked on Steph like ten times." She didn't have the heart to tell him that Steph faked orgasms worse than the boy who cried wolf.

So someone needed to tell her what it was all about. But her mother!?

Besides, there was the whole concept of a vibrator at all. They buzzed incessantly and they were expensive - and what self discovery is there in mindlessly touching a pleasure stick to your clit for an allotted time? Sure, she'd come, but would it be a worthwhile orgasm?

That was crap, and Frankie knew it. An orgasm was an orgasm - and if she wanted to have one during sex without her vibe, she'd be able to figure it out, right?

Besides, as bad as teenage boys were with a girl's clitoris, teenage girls weren't much better. In addition to the supreme dexterity necessary to get yourself off manually, there was so much pressure to come that any orgasm would run for the hills.

Wait a minute, though. This was all what Dr. Berman was saying. Surely millions of girls masturbated to satisfaction ever night with their hands alone - Frankie had done so for a time, before she had gotten herself a vibra...

Oh.

In the end, Frankie supposed, a trusty, clitoral vibrator (certainly not a mega-toy with seven buzzing phalluses for every possible hole and pleasure spot) was the natural climax of competent female masturbation. By giving Sue a vibrator, she'd simply be accelerating the process.

But at the same time, Frankie didn't want Sue to miss out on the middle part either. After all, Frankie's ability to deftly stimulate her clitoris helped her out, as Mike didn't like the toy in bed with them.

But how to get this all across to Sue!?

Dr. Berman advised talking it out - but that wasn't in the cards for Frankie. It was too embarrassing. How would she even say it?

But she couldn't just leave a vibe on Sue's bed and hope for the best either. If she figured it out at all, she'd skip the middle step - the fingering stage. She probably wouldn't figure it out at all, and then she'd run out, toy in hand, to ask for help, which would be embarrassing for everyone (especially because she wanted this kept secret from Mike and Axl).

There weren't any positive female role models (besides herself) around to teach her. Maybe if that nice Cassidy girl had been around still, she could've. But no.

And Frankie didn't want Sue finding out on the internet; God knows what she'd learn.

No, it would have to be Frankie. But not in person!

A letter.

Yes, a letter would work. They were going to visit Axl in a week, all of them, for a whole day. She could say Sue had some 'project' to do and leave her at home with a vibrator boxed nicely and a letter guiding her through the evolution of masturbation on her bed.

Yes, that would work. So she sat down, took out a piece of paper, and started writing. She'd get the vibe tomorrow; there was a store she knew in nearby Pawnee that could help. Orson wasn't too cosmopolitan in the sex toy business.

It would all work great. Frankly, Frankie was quite pleased with herself. It was a wonderful idea.

**Please review! Second chapter coming very soon!**