Oh my god something that's not porn! Shocker! So this is how I would have liked to end Osomatsu-san after being infuriated by all that character development in the penultimate episode to then have the stupidity of intergalactic baseball (smdh!) I don't know what I was expecting - it's a gag anime and a silly one at that - anyway I was obsessing for ages so I wrote this ending where Osomatsu stops being a dick and Karamatsu is the best person. Hope you enjoy it.

Osomatsu lay on the floor of his bedroom (because it was just his now he no loner had to share it with five other people) casually flipping through some manga Todomatsu had left. It was the first time the house had been quiet for years and it was nice. He could definitely get used to the sound of absolutely nothing. Occasionally he half expected Jyushimatsu to come bustling through the door with his usual cry of 'muscle muscle, hustle hustle' or to hear Karamatsu playing his shitty guitar on the roof but it didn't happen. All was silent.

It was bliss!

Finally he could laze around the house without Choromatsu making him feel guilty, he didn't have Ichimatsu being creepy in the corner and he didn't have Todomatsu acting like he was so much better than the rest of them because he was the first one to get a job. Now that he was finally on his own he realised he liked it and was quite content to remain on his own. He didn't need to do anything. He could continue his existence as a NEET, mooching off his parents, without having to take on any adults responsibilities, and he was happy.

So what if the rest of them decided they wanted to go off and better themselves? They'd come crawling back eventually. They'd give up, realise the real world was too hard and come slinking back to the depths of the cesspool of NEETS to join him.

He heard the front door open and close but he ignored it, expecting it to be either of his parents and if they wanted him, they'd come and find him. He turned back to his manga but a rummaging from the hallway kept distracting him. He sighed, knowing that he should probably get up and see who it was just in case. It might be a burglar... although god only know what he's do if it was a burglar, there was nothing in the house worth steeling.

With what felt like a great deal of effort he pushed himself to his feet and made his way over to the hall. He pushed the door open and was greeted by someone's back, someone's leather jacket clad back with the stupid skull on the back. Osomatsu had to stop himself from laughing out loud, well that didn't take very long at all. Although it did irritate him that Karamatsu was either ignoring him or hadn't even noticed that he was standing behind him.

"What are you doing here Shittymatsu?" he asked unable, and not caring to keep the irritation out of his voice. "Struck out at not being a useless NEET already?"

"No I just came to pick up some things I left behind," Karamatsu said as he closed the draw he had been rummaging in.

"What more shirts with your face on?" Osomatsu scoffed.

"Just a couple of papers I left that I might need," Karamatsu replied ignoring the scorn in his brother's voice, "and I came over to see how Mum and Dad were doing?"

"They're fine," Osomatsu shrugged.

"Are they out?"

Osomatsu shrugged again. "How would I know?"

"Well you live here," Karamatsu said fixing him with an unimpressed stare. "I would kind of expect you to at least pay some attention to what's going on."

Osomatsu clicked his tongue in irritation. "You sure got high and might since moving out Shittymatsu."

"You know you're the only one who still calls me that right?" Karamatsu asked.

"So you move out for a couple of weeks and everyone forgets just how painful your existence is?" Osomatsu growled folding his arms over his chest. Karamatsu just laughed in response.

"Chill out Osomatsu-niisan," he said rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "No need to get your back up."

"Maybe my back is up because I'm trying to get you off it," Osomatsu snapped.

"I'm not getting on your back," Karamatsu said raising his hands in defence. "I'm just pointing out a fact."

"Yeah well you're being a dick about it!"

Karamatsu laughed again. "Still can't take it when someone tells you something you don't want to hear."

"And you still flap your lips like you want a fist in your face," Osomatsu said raising his fist to Karamatsu.

"How is punching me going to help?" Karamatsu asked calmly. The fact that he was so calm and collected was really beginning to piss Otsomatsu off even more.

"Get your stuff and get the hell out," he said through gritted teeth. "You don't live here anymore."

"And you immediately turned your back on all of us as soon as the front door was closed," Karamatsu said. "Have you even spoken to any of the others since they left?"

"No," Osomatsu snapped, going on the defensive. Who was Shittymatsu to give him a lecture? Hell no! No way was he going to stand for that. "Why does it matter, they don't want to talk to me.

"How do you know?" Karamatsu asked. "How would you know how any of them are doing because you're so wrapped up in your little self-centred world to notice."

"What?!"

"Did you know that Choromatsu's having a really hard time at his job because one of his co-workers keeps being a dick?" Karamatsu asked, glaring at him. "Or that Jyushimatsu keeps getting injured and sent home covered in bandages? Or that Totty calls me every time he has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I just talk to him until he's back in bed? Or that Ichimatsu sleeps on the street?"

"What?"

That one hurt the most. When it was just the two of them Ichimatsu had obviously left because he didn't want to be around him any longer, so much so that he had gone to live on the streets rather than stay with him. He didn't understand why it hurt so much that Karamatsu knew all of this and he didn't. He was a little angry at himself for letting it happen but he didn't want to admit that so the next best thing was to get angry at Karamatsu.

"So when did you become a caring saint?" he asked, spitting the words out.

"I've always cared about you guys," Karamatsu said. "For the most part you guys always just used to laugh it off as me being 'painful'."

"You are painful," Osomatsu hit back instantly. If Karamatsu was hurt by his comment it didn't show, he just shook his head.

"Maybe," he shrugged, "but one of us has to be the older brother and you've never seemed interested in doing it so I had to step up."

"What a tragedy for you," Osomatsu said rolling his eyes. "Must be so hard."

"I don't mind," Karamatsu said. "I like keeping an eye on everyone and making sure they're doing okay."

"Whatever," Osomatsu huffed. "I don't need a lecture from you, of all people, so just get your stuff and get lost."

"Okay," Karamatsu shrugged as if Osomatsu's words didn't bother him at all. It was always the thing that pissed Osomatsu off the most about him – no matter what was said to him, no matter what was done, Karamatsu just used to shrug it off and smile that irritating smile of his.

"Fine."

Karamatsu breezed passed him into his old bedroom and rummage through a few draws. He seemed to know where whatever he was looking for was now that he had exhausted one possibility. He pulled out the papers he needed and made his way out of the bedroom. Osomatsu watched him silently, glaring into his back, almost willing him to hurry up and get out. Karamatsu pulled his shoes on and smiled at him again. The sight only seemed to piss Osomatsu off even more.

"Well I'll see you around," Karamatsu smiled.

"Yeah get lost," Osomatsu growled.

Karamatsu chuckled. "Why do you want to pick a fight so badly?"

"Maybe because your stupid face pisses me off so much."

"You're aware that we look the same right?" Karamatsu said.

"Whatever, just go." The urge to hit him was getting stronger and stronger but he knew Karamatsu would just take it and that would only make him angrier.

Karamatsu sighed and that smile finally faltered. "When are you going to get serious Niisan?" he asked.

"Hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying you can't live like this forever," Karamatsu said. "The rest of us have grown up, it's time you did to."

With that Karamatsu left, closing the front door behind him.

Osomatsu glared at it before angrily clicking his tongue. "Whatever." He went back into his bedroom, flopped down on the floor and turned back to his manga. Honestly, who did Shittymatsu think he was giving him a lecture about growing up? He was fine the way he was, he didn't have to change. Wherever he went people loved him so why would he need to change?

But still...

When are you going to get serious? You can't live like this forever... The rest of us have grown up...

Had they left him behind?

He closed the manga and picked up the newspaper his dad had left on the table and opened it at the jobs page.

A week after going to see Osomatsu Karamatsu was relaxing at home, tuning his guitar and lazing around the house on a rare day off.

"I'm going to the oden stand," Chibita called to him from the front door.

Karamatsu stuck his head into the corridor and gave Chibita a thumbs up, winking. "Good luck," he said.

Chibita scoffed. "I don't need luck, idjit, I make the best oden in the world."

"You certainly do," Karamatsu smiled.

"See you later," Chibita grinned.

"See you," Karamatsu said as Chibita left the house, closing the door behind him.

Karamatsu made his way back into his bedroom, getting himself comfy and picked up his guitar again to start tuning it when his mobile phone began to ring. He pulled it out and was quite confused to see Osomatsu's name light up the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Osomatsu said, "you got a minute to meet up and talk?"

"Sure," Karamatsu said. "By the fishing lake in ten minutes?"

"See you then."

Before Karamatsu could say anything else the line went dead. Karamatsu heaved himself to his feet and reached for his jacket. If Osomatsu wanted to talk then it had to be something serious after last week.

Karamatsu leaned against the railing, looking down at everyone fishing, waiting. He wondered what Osomatsu wanted to talk about but he would listen whatever it was. He was reaching out that that was progress.

"Hey," a gruff voice said from behind him.

Karamatsu turned to see Osomatsu standing behind him. He took off his sunglasses and smiled. "Hey, how's things?"

"I moved out of Mum and Dad's," Osomatsu said.

Direct and to the point. "Oh yeah?"

"And I got a job," Osomatsu said.

Karamatsu smiled warmly at him. "That's great, doing what?"

"Nothing exciting," Osomatsu shrugged, "just washing up in a restaurant down town."

"That's great," Karamatsu said smiling. "I'm really proud of you."

Osomatsu shifted awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah well it's all thanks to you."

"Huh?"

"You gave me the kick up the ass I needed," Osomatsu said, shuffling his feet. He couldn't quite seem to meet Karamatsu's eye as he shuffled. It was very strange to see Osomatsu looking so humble but it was good to know that he had managed to sort his life out even in such a short amount of time.

"Wanna come out and have a drink?" Karamatsu asked, hoping to take some of the heat off him. "I'm meeting the rest of them and I'm sure they'd all be happy to see you."

Osomatsu rubbed the back of his neck again. "Yeah.. I don't know."

"Oh come on," Karamatsu said. "It will be fun."

"No it's fine."

"What's stopping you?" Karamatsu asked.

"Well... I was kind of a dick," Osomatsu admitted. "I didn't know how much they'd actually want to see me."

"They will," Karamatsu said smiled. "They miss you."

"You sure?"

"Trust me."

"Okay then," Ossomatsu nodded and returned his brother's smile.

"Hey, Ichimatsu got a job and found somewhere to live," Karamatsu said as they walked away from the fishing lake together.

"Oh really, where?"

"He lives at the cat shelter he works at," Karamatsu said.

Osomatsu laughed. "That's just so Ichimatsu."

"You ready for this?" Karamatsu asked as the two of them stood outside the door to the bar.

"Um..."

"You'll be fine," Karamatsu said clapping him on the shoulder. He opened the door with a flourish. Over in the corner at a table of their own sat Choromatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu all laughing together, looking happy. Karamatsu sauntered over to them with Osomatsu in town. "I have returned brothers and look who I bought with me."

There was a moment of silence and Osomatsu thought he was about to be screamed at but a raucous chorus of 'Niisan!' immediately put him at ease. He cast a glance at Karamatsu who's face seemed to say 'told you you, everything will be fine'.

"So what were you all talking about?" Karamatsu asked as both he and Osomatsu pulled up a chair each.

"Nothing," Choromatsu said.

"Choromatsu-niisan has a girlfriend!" Jyushimatsu sang.

"Jyushimatsu!" Choromatsu cried, utterly betrayed.

"Chorofapski finally losing his V card," Ichimatsu laughed, his usual unhinged smile spreading across his face.

"Choromatsu-niisan's actually convinced a real live girl to go out with him," Todomatsu laughed. "She is real, right?"

"Yes, Totty, she's real!" Choromatsu cried.

"Well if you want my advice..." Karamatsu began.

"I don't," Choromatsu cut in.

"You should take a bunch of flowers to your first date," Karamatsu continued as if Choromatsu hadn't spoken. "Girls like flowers and it will make you look thoughtful."

"Just don't let her know about your idol obsession," Osomatsu said, finally feeling able to speak. There was a second pause and Osomatsu through he was about to be ostracised but then Ichimatsu spoke up.

"Nah we'll do that for you."

"I'm not introducing her to you!" Choromatsu hissed.

"But we're brothers!" Todomatsu said, pretending to by hurt.

"And I know what you're all like," Choromatsu said.

The argument continued over them but Osomatsu sought out Karamatsu's eye. When he finally caught it he smiled, knowing that Karamatsu would understand it as a 'thank you'. Karamatsu winked and gave him a thumbs up. Osomatsu smiled again. Maybe this growing up thing wasn't so bad after all.

I can't believe I obsessed over this for so long T.T