A/N: I don't own Scrubs. Okay, on with the story

Chapter 1: Loss is a Powerful Word

By: Vegela

It had only been about five minutes but it felt like an eternity. Dr. Cox is sitting next to me with a look of relief. Is he just as worried as I am? Probably not, but it sure is nice to think this way. Turk and Carla are out of town right now, they'd went to Turk's hometown to finally show off their baby. They're really great parents, especially Carla. She'd gotten over her depression and now I think she's more thrilled of having Isabella than Turk. Who am I kidding? Turk's crazy over her. Well anyways Elliot had tried to stay with Dr. Cox and I but wasn't helping anyone because she's crying more than I am. Come to think of it, I haven't cried since Dr. Cox came into the cafeteria. I didn't want to show him that I'm weak in times like this. I can handle this on my own. Besides, I don't need him calling me a girl's name. Especially when my girl is in the ICU right now; I had just declared her stable not even ten minutes ago.

Earlier That Day

"I'm telling you J.D., I'm taking the job whether you come with me or not."

"I'm not going, I told you that. But why would you do this to our kid?"

"It's not even born yet, why do you care anyways? You're the one who almost had me convince abortion was the way to go," Kim yelled at J.D. over the phone. She was driving towards the airport, "why don't you just stay out of our lives becau…"

All J.D. heard next was screaming and the screeching of car tires until the other line just…hung up.

"Melinda! Melinda!" a very familiar voice brought J.D. out of his stupor, "Its about time Sarah, here I'd thought you were over the break up with the 'man of your dreams', it seems that the gossip was wro-"

"Kim's dead," J.D. stated emotion not present in his voice as he walked right past Dr. Cox towards the emergency room. He didn't know where Kim was but he knew she'd end up there.

"Oh…" Dr. Cox was speechless, he didn't know if he should antagonize or comfort. Comforting was definitely not his strong point but maybe…oh who was he kidding he couldn't comfort his son so how in the hell was he supposed to handle this.

"Have you seen J.D.?"

"No Barbie I haven't" the kid definitely didn't need her right now

(J.D. POV)

I don't even know where I'm going. I'm supposed to be heading towards the E.R. It's almost dark and I can see lights from an ambulance coming closer through a window. I know it's her.

"You know you're not allowed to do anything while she's in there," Dr. Cox said behind me.

"I know, I just want to see her, how do you know she's alive? Wait! She's Alive? Tell me!"

"Calm down Newbie, I was called by the ambulance driver. You know the one that I had the pleasure of working with a couple years back. Apparently she recognized Kim, how I have no idea. But she said not to get your hopes up. She's pretty bad off."

"….okay," I can't even speak without my voice cracking so I'll decide to be quiet. I can't believe this is happening. Oh God, the baby! The mere thought of the baby brings tears to my eyes but I wipe them away quickly. I'll never hear the end of it if I cry in front of Dr. Cox. That's when I see her, her head's covered in blood and her eyes are open. At first I think she's awake, but med. school rules that out and I know she's brain dead. The EMT's had intubated her and are taking her into the trauma room.

"Newbie let's go to where we can sit down, no use standing around."

"She's pregnant; I need to tell them to keep her alive at all costs."

"Okay, I'll tell them, but you need to sit down before you fall over," Dr. Cox walks away from me towards the trauma room and, not wanting to be yelled at, somehow make my way towards the waiting room.

About ten minutes later Dr. Cox comes in, "She's in surgery right now. They're going to repair everything and try to keep her alive as long as it takes so the baby can be born, but other than that…….Kim's gone.

Kim's gone. That simple two worded statement is what I needed. Clarification. It sounds horrible but I always hated when doctors gave false hope. I've done it a couple of times and I knew it just made the families feel worse when I finally told them the inevitable.

"We should head to the ICU, we need to be ready for when she gets there," Dr. Cox startled me breaking the silence. I guess he doesn't want to be here with me any more than he has to. I really need someone right now, I could call Turk but I don't want to make them come down. I mean I can't make them come down but I just know they would the second I told them. I guess this is a solo emotional recovery team, I just hope I don't lose it.

(Dr. Cox POV)

I don't want to leave the kid but I just couldn't bear the silence anymore. This is too difficult, especially with Newbie, he's way too sensitive, and he'd end up wanting a hug. What the hell am I talking about; anyone going through this would want a hug. I can't understand why the hell he looks up to me. I look inside the window right after I leave Newbie and he's already crying. Is he really that scared to show emotion in front of me? Is he scared I'll call him a girl? I would never do that right now. Maybe I'll ask him about that later. Right now I need to get a room set up for Kim so it'll be ready when she gets out of the OR. I turn around and start walking towards the ICU. I glance back behind me and I see Newbie coming out of the waiting room, wiping his eyes. The kid's in for a rough ride for the next of days, or if Kim lasts long enough months.

(Elliot POV)

Not even two minutes after Kim got here I was told all about the situation. I don't know how long Kim will be in surgery but we're all prepared. J.D. is going to be in charge of I.V. and ventilator duties. We'd tried to convince him to not be involved but Dr. Cox insisted that he should be a part of this. I'm going to be monitoring the baby's vitals and Dr. Cox is on watch for post op. infection. I can't believe this is happening, I just spoke with Kim. She was mad at J.D. for not going with her and she for some compelling reason she chose me to complain to.

"I just don't understand why he doesn't come with me," Kim argued

"You have to understand, J.D.'s whole life is here. His best friend, Carla, hell even Dr. Cox. I'd even like to include myself in the list that consists of his life. You just can't take him away from all of that, we're his family," I pleaded, trying to change her mind about leaving.

"Well now the baby and I are his family."

"It doesn't work that way and you know it."

I just shut her down. All I was trying to do was convince her that she should stay. She took it the complete opposite and took it like I said that no one needed her. J.D. needed…no…needs her. I was the reason she was so angry and distracted.

"I killed her," I blurted out sadly to myself.

"No you didn't," I jump around and see J.D. standing there in the doorway.

"I put her down, I told her you didn't need her," I started crying.

(J.D. POV)

I decided to go ahead and wait in Kim's future room but I stop short in the doorway when I hear…

"I killed her," Elliot whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear. I can't let her think she killed Kim.

"No you didn't" she jumped as I spoke.

"I put her down, I told her you didn't need her," I feel my heart break all over again as she starts crying. I take a chance and pull her into a hug.

"I'm sure you didn't mean it that way," I tell her as I rub her back.

beep beep beep

"I'm so sorry Elliot I have to go, my brother's here, I need to go meet up with him. Don't worry…okay," I look into her eyes and she nods. I turn around from her and start walking towards the hospital entrance.

(Elliot POV)

"Well Bravo!" great just who I don't need to see right now, "Bravo Barbie, I was going through my head of all the ways of how one could comfort someone one in a time like this. You really have taken the cake though. I mean what better way to comfort someone than to make them comfort you."

As much as I tried to ignore Dr. Cox's rant I couldn't help but get angry.

"You know what Dr. Cox, I think you're jealous."

"Jealous? Barbie I doubt-"

"Yes, Jealous, because J.D. is stronger than you."

"Now that's just crazy talk."

"Do you know why he's stronger? Because he's able to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and not even stagger," I yelled trying to get into his thick narcistic skull, "you can't even carry your own weight without the help of some form of alcohol."

A/N: Well I think that's a good place to end the first chapter don't you think? Well I'll update as soon as I get about ten reviews. Peace Out!!!